Christmas 2009

This family does such a low-key holiday celebration its not even funny.

No tree, no lights, very few gifts. Just time with family and friends, a trip to Edgehill UMC for Christmas Eve service and that's about it. Of course, things are changing now that Julia is in the mix. Last year she was only a couple of weeks old and we were so exhausted and confused nothing else mattered. This year we have an alert, curious and vocal toddler who makes all of the regular things very different.

Tara and I have debated about christmas trees since we first got married. We want to do the most ecologically responsible thing which has translated into no tree and that's ok for now but I believe next year we will have a little girl who wants something more festive. I saw some options this year that I think I can pull together in time for next year but we all know wanting to do and doing are two different things. Gifts are in the same category. We want to do what is the most responsible thing but I like giving gifts and Tara likes receiving them so we have a dilemma. I had started compiling gifts for Tara months ago, nothing big, just practical things so most of that was already taken care of but what about Julia.

Then of course, you have to add to the mix that I have no income. Tara is essentially buying the gifts for everybody so how do I make that work? Oh well, I need to get that book started so I can generate my own income.

How did Christmas turn out? Wonderfully.

Christmas Eve is all about the family tradition of Bonnie's Soup/Cider open house and Christmas Eve service at Edgehill. The day always proves to be entertaining. Bonnie makes a bunch of soups and some cider, guests bring desserts, breads and musical instruments. Bonnie's very eclectic group of friends, neighbors and acquaintances come and go until it is time for church. This year it was all about the bright-eyed Julia considering she was small and newborn at last year's party. She was so much more interesting and interested this year.

There were lots of people so she didn't get to show off her toddler skills too much at Grandma Bonnie's house so she waited till we got to Edgehill. There she very quickly found her walking legs and proceeded to move toward every candle she could find. It is amazing how quickly she can move on her two wobbly legs! Julia slithered back and forth from me to Tara to Mike to Bonnie and anybody in between until Tara decided she needed to keep still. During Christmas Eve service Judi Hoffman, pastor of Edgehill, has the kids gather around her while she reads a story instead of a traditional sermon. Tara held Julia and this little girl is something else. I know kids learn to speak by listening and I do believe that Julia is learning very well. I see this in church almost every time I go. She squawks or bleeps when Judi pauses - Julia's timing is on the money almost every time - it always illicits a chuckle out of her family. Christmas Eve story time was no exception. It was a fun day!

Christmas Day was even more low-key. Bonnie and Buddy came over with some soup leftovers. We ate lunch and hung out and then ate an early dinner before Bonnie & Buddy left. Julia spent the night in her "new" Christmas footed sleeper and thus ended Christmas 2009.

So, what about loot? You want to know what Julia got for Christmas. Well like I said we are not living high on the hog nor do we put a lot of stock in toys and things - I am already attached to too much stuff and I don't want to pass that "package" on to Julia.

She got some good stuff. She got some big, soft blocks with numbers and animals on them, the Santa Claus footed sleeper I already mentioned. She got a cute outfit from my godmother and the architect of this relationship, Aunt Libby, and I broke down and bought her a djembe. It is a tiny little thing that she was scared of for about a day or so, even though she was with me when we went to the store to buy it.

Julia doesn't really know what's going on but I hope we can guide her towards an understanding that Christmas is about balancing the sharing (sharing love and time and energy) with the receiving (receiving goodwill and tokens of love).

What did you do on your birthday?

Julia had a pretty busy birthday (Dec 9th). The day started as most, food and a nap. After that nap I took Julia to the library to get her library card! Although, I don't expect to use it much for a couple of years, Julia is now an official Nashville Public Library patron.

Then came another milestone. We returned the rented breast pump (see blue box in photo). Tara pumped at work this entire semester as well as last May/June. She breastfed Julia (primary source of nutrition) for 1 full year! I am impressed by and proud of her.

Among some of the gifts Julia got for her birthday is this big ol' car seat. She was busting out of the old one, which is a surprise b/c she's still got a ways to go before she reaches the weight limit but she's long. Tara and I gave her safer passage as a birthday gift. She likes it b/c she is up higher and she isn't cramped.

There are more stories and pictures to come but I wanted to get at least one up.

I'm ONE year old!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!

Ninja Baby

I might have mentioned this before but I believe Julia has the potential to become a spy or maybe a ninja.

The way bedtime works is Tara feeds Julia and Julia goes to sleep. After Tara pumps the last time of the night she goes to bed and at some point after that I go to bed. When I go upstairs I brush my teeth, check on Julia and go to bed, in that order. For quite awhile Julia would wake (loudly - not necessarily crying but obviously awake) at the same time I headed up. I would change her diaper and Tara would feed her. Recently Julia has slept through some nights so I usually look in on her but its dark so I have to use a flashlight. Last night I came out of the shower and it was absolutely quiet but when I got over to the crib Julia was standing there waiting.

Standing in the dark, not making a peep.

If I had not gone over to the crib I would not have know she was up. She would have said something - she's done that before - but you would think a hungry baby, or at least one who is awake in the middle of the night would at least grunt and groan a little when a parent walks past their bed. Not Julia, she was stone silent.

So, if she doesn't become an engineer she might become a ninja.

Babblish and Other Great Things a 10-11 month old Does!

Babblish - combination of the words babbling and English (I'm so clever!)

It sounds like Chinese (Cantonese to be more specific) and we wish someone could translate. It all sounds so interesting. We encourage her with "Yeah" and "Really" and "How interesting" though we have NO idea what she is saying! : )

the constant laughing - us and Julia - it's a circle of giggles!
Julia is one happy baby!

clapping her hands - she's got it down now

patting our backs or shoulders or arm - very cute and comforting

Walking Fun!

Frankenstein Walks
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

Tara captured this great display of the Zombie/Frankenstein walk - ADORABLE! An amused and proud Tara can be heard in the background.

Tara's sidebar: Julia is wearing a romper my college friend, Christine's daughter, Amelia, gave us. It looks like a dress because we should have put her in it many weeks ago! Julia doesn't weigh much, but she's long and lean as we call her. Most of her tops are like the 3/4 length look and her pants look like capris.

I am going to a consignment sale this weekend - just in time for some new threads! : )

P.S. We have some child-proofing to do - procrastinate much!

Modern Family

The best NEW show ever!

You know I'm addicted to TV... therefore I know good TV.
"Modern Family" is a combination of "The Office" and "Arrested Development". That alone should make you watch it because those are 2 funny shows.

Some of my other favorite new TV shows are "The Good Wife" and "Glee." Even Jai likes Glee and he hates musicals so you know that says a lot. We LOVE Glee!

Another great show is "Mad Men" (just finished 3rd season). Great writing, art direction, costumes, acting of course. Catch seasons 1-2 on DVD if you don't watch it.

Favorite line from last week's "The Office" -
Kevin: "he lives on Sesame Street, dumb ass!"

If you don't watch TV, you need to watch these 4 shows plus "The Office" of course.

ENJOY! Happy TV watching!

Pumping Countdown

I have less than a month left!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOO HOO!!!

2 full weeks of work, then 2 days of Thanksgiving Break week, then 2 days of Julia's birthday week.

I cannot wait to retire that pump!

Ironically the rental pump is due to be returned on December 9. So appropriate!!
The home pump is getting put away, too!
: )

Grateful Journal

I named this post many months ago, but didn't write any comments. It was a thought I didn't want to forget... that is what I resort to now.

During my P.P.D. period, one of the ideas was to write daily in a grateful journal. I started in March; it was wonderfully therapeutic to identify good elements in my day. It helped me make the big & overwhelming seem manageable and positive. Occasionally I read past entries and one common theme is how frequently I mention Jai.

Julia too of course!

Jai is the best husband/partner and friend. He truly has been a rock, especially the past few months. He doesn't get any more rest than me. Jai continues to cook our meals, clean, grocery shop, care for Julia while I'm at work. Sometimes it seems like a lot more compared to me working and feeding Julia. Yet it takes a lot of energy to produce milk & feed/pump for Julia.

That is how we organize our family/life responsibilities right now.

I am grateful for many wonderful things in my life!

The Lactivist

Lactation Activist - pretty clever.

That's me. It has been my focus for the past 11 months! I'm slightly obsessed I know. I laughed when I read the word "lactivist" on the back of a book, Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay. It's a perfect term to describe my slightly militant stance on BFing. It's actually a pretty funny book about new motherhood until you realize the author is an alcoholic. The title is a hint obviously!

Anyway, I find that I talk about breastfeeding A LOT. For example, we were at dinner with friends a couple of months ago. Jai put his hand on my leg as I kind of ranted about something related to BFing. However, it is really important ... and here I go again!

That is one of the reasons I enjoy my monthly La Leche League meeting and attend faithfully. It is a supportive environment with women (and their children) committed to BFing. Maybe it makes me feel superior, but mainly I'm proud of my accomplishment. Growing a baby is an amazing feat and feeding a baby is also an incredible ability. I also like to support other women who want to BF their child. Don't get me wrong - I'll be glad to stop this part of my relationship with Julia. I'm looking forward to not having something growing inside of me or attached to me in that way. I need some space! I'm looking forward to doing other activities with Julia - playing with balls and reading to her for example.

I had a funny experience last weekend with a newer mom (11 week old baby). She mentioned how hard BFing is and how it can push you to the edge and you cannot understand if you've never experienced it. I said "yeah, I know it's difficult." It was a weird situation and chalked it up to her new mom hormones, but I wish I had said "I know you've been feeding your baby for 11 weeks and it is hard, but I've been doing it for 11 months."

I know the EDGE. Been there - done that!
: )

My friend got engaged!

I know this blog is about our family, but friends are family, too. This is one of my best friends from college, Pauline, my tennis camp buddy. We also were DJs together (parties & campus radio station) at college & we each visited the other when we lived in Asia in 1994 (me in Thailand, P in Hong Kong).

She got engaged last weekend to her boyfriend, Andy.

YEAH! I am so happy for her. She deserves the most happiness!

I love an occasion to get together with my Wellesley friends, their partners and children. There are so many of us now. I also look forward to seeing Pauline's parents and sister and probably some of my other friends' parents. 2010 is going to be a busy year since we all turn 40 too. We have a plan to celebrate that event together - not sure how, we're still brainstorming, hopefully a spa somewhere, WITHOUT children or spouses. : )

Congratulations, Pauline and Andy!

P.S. They're moving to Memphis in August 2010!!!

Wow! What a week or two!

I have never been so tired in my life.

As you all saw, I welcomed Aunt Susie back home with footsteps. I'd been working at it for awhile and I thought that was the perfect time to show it off. And you know what? That was just the beginning of a world wind couple of weeks that lead up to a momentous monthiversary, my 11th month, my last monthiversary before we start celebrating my birthday!!!!!! YEEAAAHHH, MEEEE!

So what else? Well, Grandma Bonnie married Poppy (Grandpa Buddy) on Halloween. It was so much fun, we had to go to back and forth to a dorm room on Scarritt's campus. I was an honored guest so Mom and I were escorted into the big Whitman Chapel. It's a lot like "the chapel" (All Saints) at Sewanee, which I visited a couple of weeks ago. There aren't photos of my first Halloween because Dad's hard drive crashed before he could upload them to Flickr. Hopefully somebody else has some to post, I looked cute. I got to meet all sorts of people but it was weird because they didn't look like normal people, they were all different colors and wearing funny clothes and hats and wings! We danced in a big circle outside and I got to eat at the big people table.

Speaking of food I am really exploring big people food. We went to an Indian restaurant the night before the wedding and I ate some rice and some Spinach Paneer. I didn't think much about it but most of the adults were surprised that I was eating the spicy spinach. Dad and I didn't think it was so spicy. I eat a lot of oat bran and soy yogurt but recently dad introduced me to sweet potato and butternut squash (I like orange food - carrots are pretty good too) but you know what I really, REALLY love? Soy Milk. Yup, like my Mom and my cousin, LJ, I love me some soy milk. I sit there with my sippy cup and guzzle it down. I tried drinking it standing up once but I feel and it didn't feel so good when my butt hit the ground and I had a mouthful of milk.

So everybody knows I'm walking but you know what I really like to do and I'm not sure why? I like to carry stuff while I walk. If I'm in my room I love to carry my bunny rabbit and maybe a book or some blocks. When I'm downstairs its all about the yogurt containers. If those things are within eyesight I will waddle over and do my best to grab them. Then I must pull every magazine or book (especially really big ones) off the shelf. Its really fun.

Well, now I've caught you up to where I am at this 11th month celebration.

I think I'll start talking in big people English soon.

The Frankenstein Walk

The past few weeks/months have been so much fun, watching Julia move around her surroundings, first her crib and Pack-N-Play, holding onto the sides and getting her "sea legs" and becoming more steady.

Soon Julia started letting go more often and shifting from side to side. Then she begin to cruise on the ground, especially liking to walk around the coffee table in the living room ... easy to hold onto whenever she needed.

Then 2 weeks ago she took her first steps and off she went! At first she'd walk a few steps and then drop down to crawl - seemed faster I guess. Now she walks more before going to the crawl. Julia gains more confidence in her independent skills each day. She still walks kind of stilted - reminds us of Frankenstein.

Also she LOVES to hold items in her hand(s) while moving upright or crawling. In the video of her "first" walking she has a "play bowl" in her hand . Usually it is the yogurt containers or lamb blanket or rattle bunny rabbit. Anything she can grab and then WALK!

It's adorable - like everything Julia does.

Modified Still Insane Daily Schedule

As with everything with a baby, once I get used to a routine, then the baby changes it! : ) That is hard for me, I like consistency, not a fan of change; however, that is my life now.

Actually I started this post in Sept. and finished it in Nov.
Obviously, my life ran away from me! Work will be busy always and when I get home, the same applies. I want to spend time with Julia & Jai, too. She's lots of fun now - really always! Once she goes to bed, then I get ready for the next day.

Now that Julia eats food, we eat dinner together. Occasionally she stares at our food. We speculate that she wonders when she'll get to eat salad and ground turkey. Julia loves her food - banana is still her favorite & soy yogurt. Now she adores oats! I believe oats are my saving grace - she started sleeping 10-11 hours at night recently. She goes to sleep at 7p & wakes around 6:30am. It's quite lovely!

Again some of this is temporary. Pumping at work ends soon. December 8 is the ONE year end zone - my ultimate goal! If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - hopefully 1-2 times a day.

Halloween

Julia's first Halloween was also the occasion of her grandmother's wedding. It was a great celebration. We saw lots of family and friends.

Julia planned to be a lady bug but the costume was too small - see funny photos of her in it last month. We had a gown someone gave us with the words "Heaven Sent" on the front and little wings on the back... therefore Julia was an angel. Appropriate I know. : )

Since October weather is unpredictable, we paired it with some white leggings with pink Mary Jane "shoes" - that way people know she is a girl.

We put her in the whole range of colors, including blue, and I guess that is why we get comments often about "how old is your son?" and "he is so cute." Now we try to put her in at least one pink item - hat, hoodie, socks, pants - something! It's become a joke now between us about her gender.

One of my students recently saw a picture in my office and asked if this was my son?!?!? When I mentioned the frequency of this misconception, he said it's because her hair is short.

She's a baby - most babies are bald! : )

I can walk! I can walk! I can walk!

Tara was in the bathroom and I was at home cutting the grass but Aunt Susie - who had been in town all of 4 hours - and Grandma Bonnie witnessed Julia's first steps, first hand. Fortunately Susie had her camera.

Julia In Action

Happy Monthiversary.

My dearest Julia,

Welcome to your 10th month. If it is anything like the last 9 it will be filled with wonder and joy. Shoot, by this time next month I have no doubt you will be walking and you might even be talking. You will have seen my alma mater and you will have attended in your Grandma's wedding. I know there are a million skills and talents with which you will impressive us. I have nothing but confidence in you.

I want to thank you for raising the level of happiness in our home. Your mom and I love each other a bunch already but you help complete the circle. Although its been less than a year I feel like I have known you all my life. You drive me crazy but you bring me comfort. Your smile is captivating and a wonderful welcome every time you see me. You keep your mom and me rolling in laughter even when we are most uncertain about how to make it through the day.

I want the best for you in all things and I am infinitely grateful you have been a part of my of my life for the last 9 months.

Have fun.

I love you very much.
Dad

How's it going?

The question everybody asks when discussing my life as a stay-at-home dad.

My new answer is going to be something like...

I prepare Julia's breakfast, I feed her, I clean her up and I try to get her to sleep. Followed almost immediately by I prepare Julia's lunch, I feed her, I clean her up and I try to get her to sleep. After that I prepare Julia's late lunch, I feed her, I clean her up and I try to get her to sleep. Finally I get to prepare Tara's (and mine) dinner, then I clean the kitchen.

After I get to eat I still have time to prepare Tara's breakfast and lunch, clean the kitchen again and wait to change Julia's diaper before I go to bed.

A Mind of Her Own

Tara and I have joked since Julia was born that she was gonna do things her way. She, at the last minute, flipped into the breech position forcing the c-section. She is a very distracted nurser and she's gaining weight about as slowly as you can.

As she's grown she's started to exhibit other "do it my way" traits. She is very quickly moving towards walking - she holds her balance unassisted for several seconds, she's cruising and pulling herself up from all sorts of positions - but she has yet to crawl on hands and knees, she's only about the commando crawl. She didn't start showing teeth until about a month ago and her first two to erupt are her top front instead of the bottom four.

Over the past couple of days, but I especially noticed today, she gets extremely upset when you take away something she is enjoying or remove her from a situation that she's enjoying. This afternoon she was playing with the phone, her new fav toy, and I took it away so we could do something else and she SCREAMED and let loose a flood of these huge movie tears.

Again, the changes are amazing to watch.

International Babywearing Week

Thanks to our friend Angela we can participate in this with either a Baby Bjorn OR a "ring sling".

International Babywearing Week:

"It’s not too late to get your baby on!"
This week celebrate the love and closeness with your baby and wear him or her often. Studies have shown that babies who are worn tend to cry less, sleep longer, and eat better. It has also been found that parents who wear their babies are more likely to be content which in turn equals a relaxed baby.One huge benefit of babywearing is being hands-free. Babywearing allows for tasks to get done around the house while keeping the baby comfy and secure.There are many different types of babywearing options. From slings, carriers, wraps, a piece of cloth or handmade they all have the same outcome. A happy baby and happy parents! Babywearing can br so much fun. Having your baby close to kiss as often as possible and being able to snuggle so closely all while- hiking, bowling, mini golfing, exercising, bike riding, grocery shopping, some house chores or just a simple walk is what makes babywearing enjoyable. It’s worth the investment. The fact that I’m able to move around and be hands-free with a toddler makes the day so much less intense. Both of my sons from birth loved to be worn.

Read more of this story »

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Snaggletooth

Julia's first tooth is finally appearing - "rearing its cute little head"!

Julia is handling it well, too. She had more teething issues a few months ago and we thought a tooth or 2 would appear any time. Then NOTHING! Then we wondered when would a tooth happen - before she is 12 months old?!

It is adorable! She looks even cuter than ever!

I don't know how long I'll think it's sweet - maybe she won't nip me with it. : )

Weight

Weight Watchers - I started it again after my sister's visit and her mention of how much I eat. Even with breastfeeding, I know I take it too far and let myself eat more than necessary. It'd be different if I was exercising like I used to, but I'm not. I haven't been to the Y in weeks! I cannot remember the last time I rode my stationary bike. No sit-ups or push-ups - how am I going to get my Michelle Obama arms? I know I will get my pre-pregnancy body back or a version of it; I'm just impatient and I really want to wear my favorite jeans. : )

Ironically with Julia's weight issues, I wish I could give her some of my calories and fat, especially my back fat. I could exercise more consistently, but I'd rather sleep or watch TV then figure out an exercise routine.

Jai &d I say we're donating to the Y right now. It happens - we'll (mainly me I suspect since that was the norm before Julia) get back there eventually. Also we (read Jai) go to the park some - got to take Johnders to the dog park so he gets exercise, too.

We constantly hear "she's so petite" and many people marvel at her abilities ... they assume Julia's much younger so they are surprised she can sit up or crawl or whatever it is. Then they are amazed when we say how old she is. Julia wears clothes sized 0-12 months, but most are 6-9 months - usually she's about 3 months less than her age. Some babies and children are too big - childhood obesity is a major issue.

However, I wish she weighed 1-3 pounds more than now. My issue I know!
Julia's doctor says that gymnasts, for example, are born with a small shape/frame, they don't start big and then lose weight. Someone has to be smaller and that is definitely Julia. We believe that Julia will be a gymnast.

Luckily she's healthy AND really strong and has not been sick yet. Seriously not one cold or sniffle or cough, no green mucus, NOTHING! Thank goodness for healthy living and breast milk.

I'm 9 months old!

Today is 09-09-09 and I am 9 months old.

How cool is that?

I'm sure there are tons of couples getting hitched at wedding chapels in Vegas or families anticipating the arrival of a new baby... to have this date marking a momentous occasion.

Sometimes I cannot believe that I am 9 months old - well, really I hear my mom & dad say it often. I continue to grow (longer mostly, still light & lean) and explore my surroundings. I'm a master cruiser, especially enjoy moving around my crib and Pack-N-Play. My nickname is Spiderwoman - I climb up the sides all the time!

I am really enjoying food, too. I am "my mother's daughter" as the expression goes. Banana has been my favorite; slimy, but delicious. Then I tasted yogurt ... even plain soy is yummy. My taste buds are open to new discoveries. I've also tried sweet potatoes - YUM-O! Yesterday dad fed me some applesauce. Good stuff! Dad talks about the day when he can introduce me to "real" bacon... turkey bacon is not real to him.

I am talking as much as possible - the "b" sounds are fun! Babblish is what we call it. Cute, huh? : )

I also enjoy laughing, especially when my mom & dad start and then we cannot stop! My mom gets really tickled by my laughter. I know she misses me while she's at work all day. Thank goodness I have dad to keep me company until she comes home.

My best bud is Johnders. He loves to lick me, especially my face, but mom & dad don't like it. It really tickles! I like touching his face and there's all that hair to grab! We enjoy staring at each other, usually from the opposite sides of the mesh when I'm in the Pack-N-Play.

Until next monthiversary ... always ready for the next adventure!

P.S. I forgot that I can wave. I really get excited and wave to Johnders when I go up the stairs with mom at bedtime. I also get excited & wave when I see other babies, especially at Las Maracas - very family-friendly restaurant!

"Wicked" is AWESOME!

I saw the musical last night with my friend, Niki!

It was the last official part of my birthday celebration.
I asked Jai for TWO tickets so I could invite a friend.

I didn't know how much the tickets are!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIKES!
It was so worth it.

Niki hadn't seen it and we had a GREAT time!
Thanks for being my guest and for being my friend, Niki! : )
Thanks for the COOL Hello Kitty gifts as a thank you. Love them!

Thanks, Jai! You are the best husband.
I'm glad Julia slept (eventually!) after we left for the theater.
Pick out a movie so you can be ready to leave when I get home on Thursday.
Get some sushi at Watanabe and see some sci-fi flick and get some popcorn! : )

"Julie & Julia" - the movie

My mom and I saw it last weekend - part of my birthday month celebration. Bonnie picked me up & drove to the theater, paid for my ticket AND let me have the points on my Regal Crown Club card. BONUS! : )

It is the best movie combination - Meryl Streep and food - and I got to see it with my mom! PERFECTION ... like all of the wonderful butter used in Julia Child's recipes. Stanley Tucci plays JC's husband. They are adorable together, just as in "A Devil Wears Prada". Made me want to see "Big Night" again - food & another great Stanley Tucci movie.

The next day I saw my mom & we talked more about the movie. I almost fell over when Bonnie said she wanted to see it again. For Bonnie to see a movie is one thing, much less see a movie TWICE. To SAY it - that is truly amazing!

Yet I agree - I want to see it again, it was funny and poignant.
Lots of yummy food displayed ...
Then there were scenes of Paris, France... oh, I want to live in Europe.

Jai jokes that I'm going to make every recipe in JC's cookbook. NOT going to happen! : ) I'll taste if someone else wants to attempt the incredible looking concoctions. I might dress up like JC as Julie Powell does in the movie! That was fun!

One of the scenes I found amusing was Julie's ignorance about blogs (insert Tara) and then fascination and eventual obsession with the blog following, i.e. comments from readers. I'm not quite like that though I find myself noticing the comments are mostly on Jai's posts. What's that about anyway?!?! : )

Most often I read and write my blog entries while I pump, either at home or work, since there are limits to what I can do while attached to a machine! : ) I find it especially helpful at work so that I don't fall into the trap of reading my work email or doing work stuff and getting stressed. I find it more relaxing to read/edit past blog entries or compose a post.

If you like food, France, Julia Child, Meryl Streep, movies or all of the above, I suspect you will enjoy this film.

Bon Appetit!

What goes in as a solid...

...must come out as a solid.

That's all I'm sayin'

Good Stuff

Good Stuff
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

Do you remember your first taste of yogurt?

You haven't posted anything in awhile...

I hear this sometimes...

I wish I could post every day. However, it's like email. Sometimes it piles up & when I finally sit down to read & write email, I'm there for HOURS!

The same could be said about the blog - I could write almost every day, but it's about choices. I'm learning... I want to do everything, but in reality that is not possible.

Susie was here for 2 weeks in July you know - she found time to be on her laptop constantly, watching her guilty pleasure/evening soap opera drama... somehow I thought I'd get more babysitting out of Susie. Actually I did get a few personal hygiene things done like haircut, legs waxed, but somehow I thought it'd be more. : )

Julia's baptism happened and we had tons of family in town - also great, but not lots of personal time. I still need to order some photos and send to my family... WHEN?

Then I went back to work... I already posted my insane schedule.

One thing I really miss is exercising every day. I haven't been to the Y since before Susie was here! We didn't go ONCE while Susie was here. We were like couch potatoes which is unlike us.

So here's a post saying I don't have time to post! : )

Family Resemblance

I was flipping through my photos while standing in line at Calypso and I saw this photo of my Dad and thought, holy crap, that looks just like Julia...

Solids

We started feeding Julia solid food last week and she is gangbusters for banana. It took about a week...

Sooo? How's it going..?

Filled with pregnant pauses, I get this question every time I talk to somebody about my career change.

Well...(insert pregnant pause)

It is going pretty darn good for me and I think for Julia too. I knew and I'm pretty sure Tara knew that this type situation works better for me than Tara. Why? (insert pregnant pause) Because I don't work well with narrowly defined schedules, I need room to grow, at least that's the way I like to think of it. Now, don't get me wrong. I've been as frustrated and thrown off as the next person when Julia changes her own schedule but my disregard for scheduled events makes it much easier to roll with the punches.

The stay at home thing is also hazardous for me b/c I am such a procrastinator. I can leave a task unfinished AND I can find excuses to do other things instead. A free flowing schedule like feed Julia after she wakes, try to get Julia back to sleep until she wakes again and repeat gives me a crap load of latitude. I can make the best of it but more often than not I make the least of it.

So far I have spent far more time in the kitchen than I ever imagined I would. If I'm not eating I'm feeding, if I'm not preparing I'm cleaning. I have been able to space out the house cleaning so I don't feel nearly as rushed on the weekend - this is probably the best thing so far. I hate cleaning and even more I hate having a deadline for it. Some cleaning I do more often...the floors. Johnders sheds constantly. I find myself dry mopping or vacuuming some floor in this house pretty much every other day. Outside...well its been too hot. I haven't done any additional gardening, I'm not ahead on any lawn or shrubs.

We've gone to the park, mostly Shelby Bottoms, a few times. Again, its been so hot that I can't take Julia, Johnders nor myself out in the heat for too long. We've been to the library once, Davis-Kidd once, we've gone to the grocery store umpteen times. We haven't hung out at any coffee shops yet nor have we done any children social activities yet. I've watched some but not an insane amount of TV.

I am not bored. I am not lonely. I quite enjoy my conversationless hours and the noisy baby (sometimes). I spend more time with Johnders - never as much as he wants but more - and I always excited to see Tara come home.

Celebrating TJ

Celebrating TJ
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

This was taken on the day after Tara's birthday. She & Julia share a laugh while wearing complimentary outfits. Tara's shirt is a birthday present.

Can you believe it?

I've been hanging around here for 7 full months! I'm learning to talk and stand and crawl but I still love my raspberries.

Somebody welcomed me to the 8's. I'm not sure what that means but I think its gonna be a good month.

Yea me!

How Tired Can you Get?

I thought I couldn't get any more tired. WHY did I think that?

Driving to work this morning, I was so exhausted; I don't remember why now. That's the other lovely by-product of not getting enough rest - my sucky memory REALLY suffers now!

Some days are better than others.

I called my sister, 1/2 hoping I'd get her voicemail (at 8am in Nashville it's 6am in Phoenix). Sadly my sister rises with the sun of her own free will ... ahh, the life choices for a person without child who wakes you at 1am to eat. I'm so jealous sometimes!

Anyway, not really trying to be funny, just honest, yet the delivery is so serious and sad that it really is funny, I tell Susie the following advice:
- get as much as sleep as you possibly can
- take naps - if not for you, for me! : )
- sleep LATE - again if not for you, for me

Susie laughed & laughed; I joined her because it is funny, pathetic, but funny. One day, soon I pray, I'll be able to sleep uninterrupted for 8 WHOLE hours without having to feed Julia in the middle of the night.

That's all I want right now - that's my dream. : )

World Breastfeeding Week 2009

This goes out to women like my wife, Tara, who believe breastfeeding is the best way but even more importantly, that women should be informed not marketed to when considering their choice of how to feed their baby.

World Breastfeeding Week 2009 (Aug 1-7, 2009)

This year's theme: A Vital Emergency Response.

• To reinforce the vital role that breastfeeding plays in emergency response worldwide.
• To advocate for active protection and support of breastfeeding before and during emergencies.
• To inform mothers, breastfeeding advocates, communities, health professionals, governments, aid agencies, donors, and the media, about how they can actively support breastfeeding before and during an emergency.
• To mobilize action and promote networking and collaboration between those with breastfeeding management skills and those involved in emergency response.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!

I love my birthday. As a friend said, it is a National Holiday. TOTALLY!

This is also my first birthday as a mom AND the last year I can say "I'm in my 30's!" CRAZY!

I cannot believe I'll be 40 years old next year; more likely when we have another baby I'll be 40 or 41. Also CRAZY!

Gifts
Jai asked, but I didn't have any ideas ... too tired to be creative! I love gifts, but I've mellowed a bit in the past year. Spending time together is more valuable to me now than material gifts. I'm maturing. Also who needs more stuff?!

Then while writing in my Grateful journal one night, the pen died. AGAIN! Another one gone ... happens when you use them I realize, but somehow it surprises me each time. I search my office for a "nice" one and none seem appropriate. I tell Jai "couple of pens, like Jeanie's, they're not too expensive I think, $5-10."

Jai's funny ... "I googled 'Jeanie's pens' but didn't find anything." Jai emailed Jeanie.

Jeanie stopped at GMS the other day (I really miss my friends!) [she looks fabulous, retirement agrees with her!]. She brought my B-day present - 3 "old" pens she was about to toss (she knew I'd prefer she didn't if they still are good) and 4 "new" (in package). They are ALL nice, oh, so nice! Small things excite me now! : )

I got a cool t-shirt from Jai's aunt. It's 100% organic cotton with a neat star and "Happiness" on the front. Well done!

Jai got me 2 tickets to see "Wicked" on September 8. YEAH! I mentioned that idea to him.
I'll ask a friend since Jai is not a fan of musicals ... when we went to Chicago 2 years ago I went to see "Wicked" by myself.

Julia got me a "green" book of Suduko puzzles (recent interest, for YEARS Jai's been telling me I would like it), a cool box of stationary (cotton), and some pens. : )

Great gifts! I had a great birthday! THANKS!

I believe and relish celebrating my birthday ALL month ... I cannot change that tradition!

8/1 I planned to rest & relax & have lunch at Jerusalem restaurant (they have a great buffet I heard). However, Julia took a LONG nap during lunch time. Plan B was take-out from Dee's BBQ (yum-o) for dinner and Gigi's Cupcakes (double yum-o) and we watched 2 episodes of "Entourage." FUN!
8/8 I'm going to the POTATO consignment sale alone
8/15 not sure, maybe lunch with a friend ... at Jerusalem?!?!
8/22 see movie "Julie & Julia" with my mom (she LOVES Meryl Streep)
8/29 not sure, maybe walk with a friend

Baby Sounds

When most people think of baby sounds they (including pre-Julia me) usually think of the sweet cooing or the mind-numbing wails.

I am here to tell you that there is a symphony of sounds an almost 8 month old can make. You do have that sweet cooing and that distressing wail but you also have extended, wet raspberries and shrieks that bring to mind a velociraptor or pterodactyl. There is the constant chatter that reminds me of what Nell might sound like in the midst of a Jack Daniels binge.

Recently there has been a combination of noises that gives the aural image of what I think an insane asylum (I know, I know.) might sound like. Julia has discovered that sometimes it is more fun to stand up and cling to the side of the crib for dear life - instead of sleeping. This action is accompanied by a progression of baby noises starting with a grunt or two and then some talking combined with shierks of joy and raspberries. You will probably hear some growls (this is very new) and yells (for no particular reason) and back to the chatter. The intensity builds to a silence and that silence is usually followed by screams and cries of frustration - we think its b/c she can't figure out how to sit back down. This level of frustration will build until she hears us move toward the stairs and when we are in eyesight we are greeted by her beaming smile and a joyous outburst, followed by giggles. If you take that series and progression of sounds and put it with an adult voice you get something akin to Renfield in Dracula but with Julia it just makes her that much cuter.

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My Insane Daily Schedule

5am wake, change Julia's diaper, feed her
5:45am get Julia to sleep for a.m. nap so Jai can sleep longer (hopefully)
6am pump session # 1- get an extra ounce for Julia's bottle
6:25 exercise - ride my stationary bike for at least 15 minutes, 10-15 push ups (these arms are FLABBY!)
6:45am breakfast prep, pack up pumping gear (drying from cleaning night before)
7:00am shower & dress
7:30am eat breakfast, put lunch in bag
7:45am out the door, drive to work, drink Mother's Milk Tea

8:30am-4:00pm are my work hours

8:00am pump # 2 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
10:30am pump # 3 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
11:00-12:30pm eat a snack, later eat lunch at desk
1:00pm pump # 4 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
3:30pm pump # 5 - usually get the most (3 ounces)

I get some work done in the intervals between pumping sessions, but it's challenging, especially because interruptions are the norm in a school.

Sidebar: I am without clerical support until Aug. 11 and new student registration is Aug. 3-7. My principal assigns that responsibility to Guidance (i.e. me) as well as make schedules for all the students. Despite the fact that she and the school secretary are there all summer and could work on schedules and students could get a copy way before school starts. I'm definitely tired of how middle schools staff Guidance support and counselors. I am the only counselor this year for 470 students! Basically I am a highly paid clerical person who does some counseling work. High schools get tons of clerical support and in elementary schools the counselors have much more counseling interactions with students. I've done my time in high school; I think it is time to move to elementary.

4:00pm pack up stuff, leave for home

4:30pm say hi, hugs & kisses to Jai & Julia - so glad to see them!
go to bathroom, unpack bags (sometimes Jai does it), wash & sterilize pumping gear (those Medela micro-steam bags are awesome!)
5:00pm change Julia's diaper, feed her
5:40pm hope to get Julia to sleep for a little nap
6:00pm Jai & I eat dinner & visit together
anytime between 7:00-7:45pm change Julia to PJ's, change diaper, feed her
after 8:00pm make sure lunch & breakfast prep is done, make cup of Mother's Milk tea, shower
by 9:00pm in bed, write in Grateful journal, read book for 5-10 minutes before falling asleep
at or before 9:00pm lights off

Weekend schedule is all breastfeeding. I plan to pump after 1-3 feedings in order to increase supply. We rented a hospital-grade pump again, this time so I have it at work to get the most milk out of me and to decrease the back & forth of carrying my pump every day. Tedious!

I pumped about 7 ounces on Monday; I pumped 11 ounces today. It's getting there.
We try to give her 14-15 ounces in 3 bottles. I don't think she drinks that much in those 3 daytime feedings from me, but we don't want her to lose weight, she's already light.
I'd like to get 13-14 ounces in 3-4 pumpings instead of 5. Until that happens we've been using stored milk in the freezer. If I pump less than 11 ounces a day, we'll run through the frozen stash by the end of August. However, with the post-feeding pumping, More Milk Plus herbal supplement 4 times a day, Mother's Milk tea twice a day, eating right and lots of rest, we've seen an increase in my milk supply this week. Ironically when Julia started sleeping through the night, my milk supply steadily declined in addition to the damage I did in June with my creative pumping. We're going to start solids in August - tomorrow! Come on high calorie bananas and avocados!

Luckily this is temporary - December 8 is ONE year which is my ultimate goal! At least that is when I'll stop pumping at work with this zeal. If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - that will still be 3-4 times a day, more on weekends.

Right now I don't do much else. I sometimes watch TV while I pump, but usually I don't; sometimes I look at the Internet. I miss my TV shows - I'm addicted to TV. However, usually I try to focus on being positive while I pump and think about Julia and making milk for her.

In a way I am glad to be back at work and I know Jai is happy to be home with Julia. I miss her more than I did in May which surprised me. Jai is wonderful with her, they have a great time together and I am greeted with Julia's beautiful smile each afternoon and stories of her daily adventures (Example A: Spiderwoman photo). Jai cooks dinner, makes my lunch and usually helps make my breakfast. When I was home and Jai worked at NPL, sometimes I made dinner, sometimes made his lunch [usually dinner leftovers, but he also could go out in a pinch though we try not to for economic reasons; I cannot go out for lunch (pumping!)] and sometimes I made his breakfast. I don't know who's getting the better deal.

We both are because we're Julia's parents! : )

Our First Day Together

Tara left for a new school year around 8am this morning and from then until 4pm it was all me, Julia & Johnders.

Here's what the day looked like.

8am - Tara left. I attempted to get a very active baby to sleep...no success in the crib so I shaved (it had been a couple of weeks)
9am - Julia still awake, meaning no early AM nap. Jai pulls out the sling Tara has so much trouble with and surprisingly tucks Julia in neatly. She immediately stops all noise and just sits there, staring. We get Johnders for breakfast, my 2nd cup of coffee and a game of "Battle for Middle Earth II" (yes, you can call me a geek). Julia dozes off for about 20 minutes.
10am - phone wakes Julia (still in sling, in my lap), I get Julia's milk ready. I, nor Julia, like the Adiri bottle. So I went back to the special needs feeder on regular bottle and she finished it. After some silliness and a big yawn we tried for another nap.
10:50am - Julia and I lay down on the sofa. After some fussing on her part we both doze.
11:30am - I transfer her to the crib and finally a nap
1pm - Lunch & Home Depot
2pm - grill pattypan squash and wait for Tara to come home.

Nothing really eventful but Julia won't sleep. Even now at 8pm with a 2 hour nap at lunch she doesn't want to sleep.

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Farewell, Summer Vacation, Farewell!

I already wrote about summer break not being the same. Actually, no school breaks or holidays will be the same again or at least not for many years! Obviously they will be different because we have Julia and they will be wonderful, too.

However, in the selfish vein of losing Tara time, I write it won't be the same.

NO sleeping late... sleeping at all is a treat!
NO book at the pool... well, reading a book these days is a lofty goal. A magazine is more my speed for the attention span and energy I have.
Running errands freely and meeting friends for lunch spontaneously - NOPE! Well, you know I'm not really spontaneous, but still won't be happening so much.

I always connect my birthday with summer time - I was always out of school.
Not anymore. Since I started working at a high school or middle school, I'm usually back to work the week before my birthday.

A reason to move to an elementary school. : )

Family comforts

I hesitate writing this but it has been gnawing at me and I have to get it out.

I've had a lot of trouble of the past few years defining the big concepts...love, values, me, and most recently family. Its well known that I am an orphan insomuch as both of my parents are dead and I have no siblings. What I do have for blood relations is limited and no I can say, strained.

I am struggling very hard with my Mom's side of the family. The family closest to me genealogically is I feel the most distant. I am struggling with how I feel about them. I am struggling about what it means to be struggling about how I feel about them. It is obvious to any observer, I think, that they care deeply for me but I am having so much trouble returning that devotion. When I am with them (in person or on the phone) all I can do is see their faults, the narcissism, the pettiness, the self-serving martyrdom and the competitiveness. This all came to a head on our most recent trip to visit. It was one of the most stressful, unpleasant visits I can remember. I found myself having to protect Tara, I felt party to a conspiracy when I agreed with Tara or when I opted to do something for Julia instead of the rest of the family...if I wanted to make sure Julia had quiet time or had a feeding at a certain time I was being to regimented and that as being a backhanded stab at Tara's need for order because other family "are flexible" and don't have to be anywhere at a certain time. Or I was being compared both directly and implied to other family members.

Compare this with a trip to see Tara's family who were welcoming me to me as the in-law, old photos were brought out, stories were told, we ate together with no expectations, no pressure to be anybody other than us. We ate and we caught up and hung out and we laughed. There were no geography lessons, there were no quizzes. There was an unspoken understanding that Julia rules the roost, if Tara needed to feed her, Tara is given that space and time. If Julia needed a nap we found a way (as often as possible) to make that happen. The vibe for most of the trip was unforced. I don't think Tara was put in a position where she felt I was being unduly pressured or snide comments about the way I handle myself.

I have a theory that if you disregard individual personality that the difference between the two families is socio-economic and socio-geographic (if that's a word). On one hand you have a family of consistent and over achievers, a black family which is 4 generations out of slavery and 3 generations out of college and most of those college graduates completed some sort of graduate level degree. It appears to me that there is so much middle class frustration and disappointment. No matter what you achieve its not enough, the grass is always greener, if I don't keep pushing I will let someone down. Then the family moved from South to North which added removed them further from the ebb and flow of nature and spirit to the start and stop agitation of urban life...you have to keep moving till the lights go out and in the city the lights don't go out. Where as the part of Tara's family we visited still lives on the land they were raised or within a couple of hundred miles. They are 3 generations from slavery but far fewer college and professional degrees. They accept, sometimes reluctantly, the ebb and flow of available work and and life's changes without turning it into a big drama.

How strange that I came away from a weekend with the in-laws less stressed than a weekend with my relatives.

I accept that this is a simplified and even romanticized view of the family dynamics and I accept that this was the first time I visited Tara's family farm but I think I have to stick with what I've been saying for awhile...Poor Tara, I got the better end of this deal.

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Now playing: Gov't Mule - Thorazine Shuffle
via FoxyTunes

7 months and kicking!

Today I am 7 months old.
We're celebrating my monthiversary by hitting the road.
ROAD TRIP!

Going to visit the fam in NC - show off my gams, display some moxie.
I don't know why I am using "old" terminology.
The 'rents have been watching some old movies or stuff - blame it on them!

I'm having fun with my fancy feet! I like kicking my legs and feet, especially against something with texture like those great pillows on the couch. I love those colors, too.

It is fun to be a baby. : )

Model to be

front view of lounging Julia at pool
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

As many of you know. I decided to enter Julia in the Ecotot contest. She came in 2nd but I think some of this is in her future.

I'm thinking "World's Most Beautiful Engineer". You should see her focus on gadgets and things with small parts, like that hat she's wearing. She will study it for 20min at a time.

Here she is in an candid pool photo.

Summer Fun

Julia as Amelia Earhart before we go to the pool
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

As Tara and I become more mindful parents we continue to discover ways to keep Julia's best interests at the forefront of our life.

• We feed her the best food available - breast milk.
• We protect her nap time.
• We try to avoid over stimulation.
• Now that summer is here and pool time we have to protect her fragile skin from the sun. To and from the the YMCA Julia is dressed like a prizefighter.

TENNIS - I love this sport!

I am definitely getting my fill of watching tennis this summer with both French Open & Wimbledon! I told Jai that I looked forward to week 2 of Wimbledon as there is less tennis. : )

Wimbledon is my favorite. It is cool to watch the coverage and see the grounds and remember walking around the place last year. I love it when Julia wears her Wimbledon sun hat. I tell her sometimes "last year WE were there" since I was 4 months pregnant in late-June.

In a way I’m bummed that we won’t see a Federer-Nadal final again. I am excited the Williams sisters made it a repeat final!

Favorites:
1. Wii commercials showcasing the non-famous players beating the famous sports people, especially the images of the tennis players

2. US Open series commercials:

a. Federer: “Rog”
b. Venus’ dog Henry doesn’t really like tennis.
c. Serena’s dolls (look like Williams sisters!) fighting – “victory is mine!”
d. Andy Roddick’s one not as funny as I expected; I really enjoy his post-match press conferences!

In the his press conference yesterday about playing Andy Murray in the semi-final, A.Rod said 2 funny things:

1) holding up his hand he says he can count how many supporters he'll have in the crowd
2) when he hears the cheers "come on, Andy" he's going to pretend and tell himself that they mean him ... he's funny! : )

3. outfits:

a. loved Maria S’s dress, too bad she lost so early
b. hated Petrova’s dress, glad she lost so I didn’t have to see it again
c. Safina’s top is too small – “not appropriate for Centre Court” a commentator said; I agree!
d. I like Serena’s dress, similar to Maria’s

4. 38 year old player (Dante Grumm I think are her last names correction: Kimiko Date Krumm) – same age as me! Playing in Wimbledon after 13 years hiatus (think she got married and had some kids). She played Caroline W. who wasn’t even born yet when Dante Grumm played in her first Wimbledon! CRAZY!

5. Quote on Serena’s T-shirt one day this week: “Strong is the new Beautiful.” LOVE it!

I really like the Wimbledon towels this year, too!

I love tennis so much. : )

New Signficance of Dates

July 19 is the date of Julia's baptism. It is also the 5 year anniversary of Rich's death (Tara's stepfather). I forgot about it until Bonnie mentioned it a few weeks ago.

June 18, 2005 is our wedding date. It also was the 10 year anniversary of aunt Judy's death (Bonnie's sister). It seems positive and hopeful to celebrate a commitment and re-frame the meaning of that date. I don't know if my cousins feel that way about our wedding, but they attended the ceremony and reception.

I'm excited about Julia's baptism, have been for weeks.

Then we met with Judi, the pastor at my church, on Monday, and I got even more excited. We discussed the meaning and significance and why it is important for Julia to be baptized. It was really interesting talking with her and listening to Jai's reflections, too, on what it all means.
One of the major considerations for me is the community aspect, the witness and support of the congregation. We cannot raise Julia alone. We realized that in February in particular when members brought us food as we worked to get Julia to gain weight. Edgehill UMC is one part of our village.

I love water, don't know why, probably because it makes you clean. : )
I like the sound water makes - running in the shower/tub, rain on the roof, splashing in the pool.
I really enjoy when people get baptized.

Judi described various methods of the baptismal water:
Sprinkling
Pouring
Immersion

Judi recommended we make a baptism book in order to have a visual reminder of this event. We can look at the book and photos and talk about what happened on that day. We also will have her baptism candle which we'll light every year on July 19. I'm excited about that too!

Then over the next day or so, I spoke with Mike, one of her godfathers, about some concerns Chad, the other godfather, might have about being appropriate given his feelings about religion. Susie is Julia's godmother. After asking Chad & Mike & Susie to be Julia's godparents, I didn't give it much more thought. Susie is Julia's aunt; Mike & Chad are her uncles. They are our very good friends, Mike was one of Jai's attendants in our wedding. They are important to us and therefore to Julia and we value them as supportive people in her life. They are perfect candidates for the role. However, I am grateful for these opportunities to reflect and consider what it all means.

Julia reminds us daily of that attention to details. The joy of discovery, it's all new to her.
We adults seem to forget along the way, we get busy, and "don't stop & smell the flowers."
Everything is new to Julia so we know that is part of it, but it is so genuine. Recently she was studying her sun hat, turning it one way, then the other, then inside and outside. Back & forth, over & over again. Cute to watch. Julia was so fascinated with it.

I cannot believe I am referencing the TV show "Army Wives" which sometimes I'm surprised I watch. However, I like it. Anyway, in a recent episode, a couple with a young baby close to Julia's age is preparing to baptize their daughter and they are trying to find the right place. The wife character is similar to Jai in terms of not being someone who regularly attends church; the husband character does. The conversation they have with the pastor of the congregation where they ultimately decide to have the dedication reminds me of our conversation with Judi as well as some of our feelings about the experience. Community is a huge part of it.

My dad, step-mother, brother and sisters who live in North Carolina will be here. Bonnie & Buddy will be here. Hopefully my brother, Joel, and nephew, LJ, will be here. Some of my childhood friends will be present. It is a celebration of this new life and a public commitment from us all.

I cannot wait! : )

Cocktails & Nails and Sushi

Recently "Cocktails & Nails" has become a regular monthly date with my friend, Anne Marie again. We used to get together once a month for a facial or pedicure, then dinner of sushi at the now closed Taste of Tokyo in Hillsboro Village. We got together before we got married and before we had children. We continued our tradition until last summer when Sam was born.

Then we resurrected it in April once Julia was older and Tara felt stronger. : ) Sadly our favorite haunt, TOT, closed in January. We didn't know! We missed the chance to say thanks and good-bye to Lucy and Peter and the other TOT employees we had seen monthly for YEARS.

We also had to find a new place for food and pampering; it had to be close enough to fit in our new world of parenting ... we only have so much time, especially me who has to get home to feed Julia OR pump. We discovered that Magnolia Spa in East Nashville has "Cocktails & Nails" on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5-7pm; if you bring a friend you get a 10% discount off. You also can get a glass of wine to drink while your feet soak. Usually we don't get an alcoholic beverage though it depends on the day, sometimes it seems attractive! : ) However, Anne Marie isn't a fan of red wine which is usually what they have; I don't because I'm not a big fan of wine and I'm breastfeeding. Battered & Fried is a restaurant up the street and they have sushi. We meet after our husbands get home from work, get our feet done and then walk across the street and have GREAT sushi. Our favorite is The Firefly. YUM!

We went last night; this month I think we're going to a consignment sale together. I suspect our next date for Cocktails & Nails and Sushi will be late August since I go back to work soon.

I'll attach a photo of our feet and our sushi - I got blue on my toes in honor of Independence Day!

Looking forward to more pampering and sushi soon!

Here we go AGAIN!

We went for the weight check last week. Julia weighed 12.8 1/2.

WTF! OMG! What happened?! How is that possible?!

Her doctor wants me to pump and feed her 5-6 oz. in a bottle for all her feedings until the next weight check in a week. Of course, I'm devastated as usual. I hate weight check and Jai forgot and didn't get off work so I had to go alone. Usually I'm a confident, self-assured person, but the weight thing is my albatross. ANNOYING!

After some conversations with Jai, my mom, her friend, Lois (she breastfed her 3 kids), the LLL leader in my local group, and examining our daily feeding & diaper notes (I still keep them mainly because of my sleep-deprived memory loss), we determined the culprit. I have been pumping in the early a.m. because of leaking and also wanting to store milk for the future. However, I wasn't emptying the breasts so they were thinking they didn't need to make as much milk.

I created MORE of a problem!

The irony is that once I stepped back from the 6 month visit and thought about her weight, I realized it was fine. It's Julia, she gains weight in her way. I am grateful for the weight check appt. because we might not have know the impact of the pumping. However, I was getting really and literally tired of waking at 3-4-5am to pump 1-2 hours before Julia woke. I stopped and now I sleep 7-8 hours again and it's much better for everyone.

I decided that I wasn't going to pump her 6 feedings. That's not breastfeeding. I understand the doctor's reasoning. She wants to be able to measure what Julia is drinking and see if she gains weight in a week. You cannot do that with breastfeeding. However, I didn't want to go in that direction, even for a short amount of time. We know Julia will gain weight if we give her milk in a bottle - been there, done that. She's a champ with a bottle, too!

We bought a baby scale. You can rent one for $29/week at A Mother's Place. We got one at Target for $60. We go for well child visits every 3 months from 6, 9, 12, 15, 18 months, on and on. I will go crazier if I have to guess what she weighs in those 3 months. Also instead of measuring what's in a bottle, I can weigh Julia before and after her feedings and see how much she eats. She eats more in the morning (8 ounces) [which is what she wasn't getting for 2 weeks] and less in the evening (3-4 ounces).

AMAZING! I wish I had bought a baby scale 4 months ago. I suspect it would have saved me a ton of heartache and worry. It is worth EVERY dollar - might be best purchase yet. That and the diaper service. : )

Julia weighed 12.13 1/2 yesterday. I plan to weigh her once a week to make sure she continues to gain. We called her doctor to give them an update and cancel the weight check appt. They must love us - we are the rebel parents, doing it our way. However, Julia is healthy. That is what is important.

Susie's coming home!

She'll be here in a week! YEAH!!!!!!!!

I cannot wait to see her and for her to see how much Julia has grown. Julia was so TINY when Susie last saw her in person.

Susie reads the blog and looks at the pictures on flickr and hears her "talk" when she calls us. However, it's not the same as seeing Julia's growth and development in person.

Be prepared for tears, sister! I know you will be crying! : )

Drive-in

We went to the drive-in last night in Franklin, KY.

This has become an annual summer tradition with our couple friends, Kevin & Anne Marie. We carpool since it is $12 a carload, more the merrier and save on gas, too.

K & AM met at our wedding; they were both attendants in our wedding party. Kevin went to high school with Jai; Anne Marie and I met about 8 years ago through a mutual friend. They got married the summer after us; Jai and I were attendants in their wedding party. I was Anne Marie's Matron of Honor. : )

The last time we went to the drive-in was June 2008; Anne Marie was about 8 months pregnant. I was about 3 months pregnant and we told them our happy news!

This year we had 2 additions in Sam (11 months) and Julia (6 months). Carpooling was a new challenge since we have car seats to consider. Also neither of us has a vehicle that holds more than 5 - no mini-van yet. Jai knows I love mini-vans, wanted one even before we considered having children. He doesn't understand; I try to explain my time at Oasis Center and driving young people to service learning projects in vans. I guess it's a practical thing.

$12 is a good deal for the 3 of us, especially since we don't have to get a babysitter. It costs $7/person for a matinée (show before 3pm - RIP OFF!) at Regal Cinema now.
Bonus - you can bring your own snacks.

However, we like to talk, catch up with our friends, while driving to Franklin, so we brainstormed some solutions. None of us could think of someone with a van to borrow. Renting one seems to defeat the purpose of saving money.

Final solution: Kevin borrowed his dad's Cadillac which has a front seat that fits 3 people, adults only, though comfort seemed an issue. The children in their car seats were in the back. Somehow Tara got selected as the person to be in the middle of those car seats.

It was an adventure. We enjoyed our time in the great outdoors under the stars as we watched "Night at the Museum 2." We ate our snacks. The babies fell asleep in their dads' arms.

One of our favorite lines was a comment to the 'Oscar the Grouch' character: "you're not so much evil ... more grouchy." : )

A few weeks ago we saw was "The Hangover." That was HILARIOUS! Bonnie & Buddy watched Julia. THANK YOU!

However, before that, the last movie we saw was "Benjamin Button"... in February. OMG! That is a LONG time for us, especially Tara.

I suspect that the drive-in will be a frequent destination for our family. Next time I'm getting a funnel cake. I could wait for the State Fair, but that's September. Why wait! : )

Father's Day 2009

This is a really old post - over 2 years ago!

I found the title in Drafts file. I wonder what I was going to write about Jai's first Father's Day. We went to Chicago to introduce Julia to Jai's relatives when she was 6 months old. It was a tension filled weekend, in particular between me Jai's aunt.

That's nothing new, we usually have many moments of tension. I don't like to be pushed around; I'm vocal in my opinions, especially quite protective as a new mother I remember. Jai's aunt is the same actually; she's opinionated also so that leads to some conflict; poor Jai is usually in the middle.

I remember that we decided we wouldn't travel again during Father's Day if we can manage it. We've been successful once so far - this year! We never travel during Mother's Day - mainly because it's in May. I'm usually still working; I'm off in June so we tend to travel. Plus my mother lives here so we usually celebrate together.

Regardless we'll try to honor Jai's request to spend Father's Day as a family in Nashville.

BFWD

Breastfeeding While Drunk

Jai emailed me an article about a woman arrested in North Dakota. The police were called to her home for a domestic disturbance. She was observed breastfeeding her 6 week old child and appeared drunk. Who knows what really was happening, but I wonder if the police administered a breathalyser.

When we were experiencing the weight crisis, we heard more often than not the suggestion to drink some beer or wine. I haven't had a drink in more than 2 years, before/around the time we started trying to conceive. I'm not a big drinker anyway - started back when I lived in Thailand and alcohol was very expensive - so it is not a big deal.

When you're caring for a baby and you're tired, tense, confused and overwhelmed, a drink is relaxing, can be a little something to take the edge off. Maybe this mother had one drink and it led to another. I'm not excusing her suspected behavior.

However, she was breastfeeding her baby. That is a good thing.

Exersaucer - BEST invention ever!

I'll write it again - BEST invention ever!

Finally Julia is big enough, long enough, and coordinated enough to be in this contraption. Before June it got used by Sam when he visited our house. Now Julia is able to use this great toy of hers.

She LOVES it! I love it because she enjoys being in it for 10-15 minutes at a time. I don't know if that is wrong to put her in it for that long, but she really likes it. It has tons of different manipulative kind of things, some that make sounds, lots she can get her mouth on. I think that's the real attraction for her! Developmentally we can see how her hand/eye coordination, fine & gross motor skills are being developed. You should see her spin in the seat! : )

The Exersaucer, Pack-N-Play and high chair might be the best recycled gifts we received.
Thank you, Nicole. I hope Jackson got as much good use out of the exersaucer!
Thank you, Tonya, for the Pack-N-Play. We use it EVERY day!
Thank you, Michelle, Seth & Fisher, for F's high chair. Julia is finally able to sit at our level. Soon she'll be eating solids, too.