Breastfeeding Basics - Julia is the Best Teacher

In one of my many breastfeeding books, there were some suggestions for "Getting the Best Start" to breastfeeding. We found many of them to be helpful.

1. Natural Childbirth - that didn't happen as planned, hopefully VBAC for future baby #2. I'm a good candidate because of the incision I have and the circumstances for C-section (breech rather than some health related issue).

2. Baby at breast immediately after delivery, skin to skin - it was about an hour after the surgery when Julia & I reunited, luckily Bonnie noticed J was rooting and Soheyl brought her to me immediately and got us started. I have a vague recollection of this moment, thank goodness for the photos, because I was on some happy meds. There was some skin to skin contact as many of you have seen!

3. Room-in - did that, actually the only time Julia went to the nursery was in Jai's presence. A few people suggested we take advantage of the hospital nursery so we get some sleep. This is true; however, sleep deprivation is a reality so why should it be different in the hospital. Plus we wanted to be successful at breastfeeding - more access = more practice.

4. No artificial nipples - We're not planning on using a pacifier if at all possible and definitely not before 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion. During one of the few times Jai was in the nursery with Julia, a baby cried and the nurse put a pacifier in his/her mouth. Another reason to room-in; you have more control of what happens with your baby if she is with you instead of in the nursery.

5. No restriction on length or frequency of feedings - breast milk is easily digested so a breastfed baby might need to eat more often. Letting the baby determine the duration means she gets what she needs too. Plus who couldn't use more practice! : )

6. No supplements of water, sugar water or formula - breast milk has all the baby needs. Also another reason to room-in; you have more control of what happens with your baby if she is with you instead of in the nursery.

7. No free samples of formula! - according to some literature I read there is an initiative developed in collaboration with WHO (World Health Organization) that countries will not circumvent breastfeeding by providing free formula to new families. We received a "free" diaper bag filled with all kinds of baby accessories and coupons, including formula. My stance is if I don't have formula I cannot use it, especially in a dire, desperate situation when I think my baby is starving.

8. Proper positioning and latching - this has been the most challenging part to get right. Julia truly is the best teacher because she knows what to do, latches on and sucks like a powerhouse. Unfortunately the lactation consultant didn't visit us the first day since we apparently had the reputation for breastfeeding so well (she "consulted" with us once on Wed. and once on Thurs. before we discharged for about 5 minutes each visit). Also with the post-surgery drugs I didn't notice some of the nipple pain until I got home. I struggle the most during the night with both darkness (we keep a lamp on most of the night) and sleepiness in terms of being diligent about latch and position. It's getting better every day, but I've been really frustrated and confused and I have great support from Jai AND Bonnie. I really understand how women quit breastfeeding if they don't have support and resources.

Convenience - it truly is a matter of opinion what is most convenient in terms of the breast and the bottle. We had a funny encounter with Jai's godmother, Libby, yesterday where both of us proclaimed to choose the most convenient method and then we both said different answers. Libby said the bottle and Tara said the breast! Libby meant that she could go places without concern - child could be fed by someone else; Tara meant that the breast is always available at the right temperature without a need for equipment as well as the FREE component.

Being Home Post-Delivery

Julia is serious about her breastfeeding so I haven't had much opportunity to check email or write many posts. I've been sleeping, eating or taking a shower (EVERY DAY is my goal). Like mother, like daughter are Julia and I - serious about food and sleep and cleanliness (well we clean her right now). Since getting home on Thursday, I have stayed in very comfortable clothes like my PJ's and today I put on "real" clothes and put in my contact lenses. Small things, but I felt like a real person! Maybe tomorrow I'll go outside and walk to the mailbox. : )

Many of you have asked about labor & delivery, especially with the many different & confusing emails that went out on Sunday & Monday about "No Baby Sanders yet." Then there was the "Draft: baby Sanders is here" email with the wrong birth date, then the correct date of December 9, both sent by Jai from home on Wednesday. We had some strange lack of internet connection at Vanderbilt Hospital, very odd and unexpected. We had the laptop as everyone suggested, but without internet, it is worthless for worldwide communication about the news of our daughter's birth. It actually has been quite a comedy of errors!

Anyway, I attempted to send the "No Baby Sanders yet" on Sunday morning and couldn't get it to go out and then Jai got it fixed that evening. I really thought Julia (formerly known as the baby) wasn't coming early, actually thought she would be late. I really had some misconceptions about how everything would go down, you know since I'm a rule follower, forgetting that there are ALL kinds of exceptions with pregnancy as well as L&D. I wrote about some of it in the "Dropping" post. Then there was the question of when would my water break and then of course the contractions.

Read "Julia's Birth Story: Part 1 (At home)" first

Future postings:
Breastfeeding Basics - Julia is the Best Teacher
The Joys of Julia - there are so many!
Why Mothers are the Best Thing Ever

Julia's Birth Story: Part 2 (at the hospital)

We get to the E.R. around 1:15am, Jai turns off the car and I get out to go inside and Jai comes to follow me and I say "remember the bags." I go inside and start the enrollment process while Jai brings in the bags. As the attendant asks me questions and gets my signatures and the contractions continue, Jai comes inside and says the valet attendant couldn't get the car started. The battery is dead. Whew, I am glad we got to the hospital!

Jai goes to deal with the car and I wait for L&D to come downstairs for me. I call my mom to say we're there (Jai had called her when my water broke). Ironically Bonnie had been calling me every day for the past week or so - "just checking on you" and when she called that evening, I told her about the contractions and we'd keep her posted, but I forgot to call her when I went to bed. I really was living in a world of denial about the reality of this labor situation.

Luckily the wheelchair and L&D staff person arrive and Jai returns to get the bags and we head upstairs to the 4th floor. We get to our room, meet our really nice nurse, I change into a gown and then I get on the bed and she checks my vital signs. I'll try to keep the gory details to a minimum, but I'm a leaking mess which is really disgusting, but I don't realize the significance of it until later. Soon Soheyl comes into the room, we are so happy she's on call tonight/this morning, and she checks me to see how much my cervix is dilated. She says she's not sure because she felt something soft which is unusual for the baby's head, might be the bottom, and I'm 9 cm dilated. WHAT?! I never felt an urge to push.

She gets an ultrasound machine and confirms that the baby is head up, bottom down, in a breech position. How did that happen?! The baby has presented as head down for WEEKS now; however, she hadn't dropped and therefore wasn't locked into the pelvis. Soheyl says she has to consult with the OB staff in a situation such as this, but thinks that it will be necessary to perform a C-section. WOW! Didn't see that coming!

Naively I really thought she'd return with "good" news, but unfortunately that didn't happened. She says that C-section is recommended, the hospital doesn't do breech births anymore (or something like that) and we need to make a decision soon because of how far I'm dilated and how much amniotic fluid I've lost; luckily the baby's vitals are fine, nothing of concern now, but could change. As we're talking, I realize that an army of people has started to appear around the room, including a number of the OB staff, more nurses, some medical student (or 2), and I think an anesthesiologist.

Basically we have to decide between the risk to mother (C-section) or risk to baby (breech presentation attempting vaginal delivery) - rock and hard place, serious Catch-22. We are so conflicted because having a C-section is so far from our birth plan, the complete opposite of what we wanted for our birth experience. You don't use a midwife and plan for a C-section even though we knew that it was a possibility, depends on what happened at the time of L&D. We agonized over the options, looking at our midwife and Bonnie, for support and clarification. They both could tell how devastated and disappointed we were to be facing this situation and were wonderful advocates for us.

The other hospital staff were extremely respectful even though they knew how crucial the time frame was. We think they were surprised and amazed that this couple was considering not doing the C-section. It was our first difficult decision as parents and we chose what was safest for the baby. Bonnie told me later as we consented to the C-section that she was thinking "that is MY daughter who is going to have surgery; I don't know this baby yet, but MY daughter is having surgery. Tara has never had surgery!" I had never been in the hospital before Julia's birth!

I might write more details later about the experience in the O.R., but it was surreal, very out of my body, I was probably in shock, as it all happened so quickly. There are some silver linings I can share later and the hospital staff was wonderful throughout the whole process. I also will probably write more about my feelings of grief and loss about not having a natural childbirth experience, but Jai and Bonnie are telling me to stop and eat and rest. I have the best husband and mother EVER! : )

Home soon.

Tara and Julia will be released from the hospital today instead of tomorrow.

As if anyone is surprised, Tara is the star of the post-partum floor. The baby has breast fed some amazing number of times, Tara is healing really well and she has been, in the words of the nursing staff, a self-sufficient patient.

Wooohoo!

Uh-oh, we've got a baby.