The Lactivist

Lactation Activist - pretty clever.

That's me. It has been my focus for the past 11 months! I'm slightly obsessed I know. I laughed when I read the word "lactivist" on the back of a book, Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay. It's a perfect term to describe my slightly militant stance on BFing. It's actually a pretty funny book about new motherhood until you realize the author is an alcoholic. The title is a hint obviously!

Anyway, I find that I talk about breastfeeding A LOT. For example, we were at dinner with friends a couple of months ago. Jai put his hand on my leg as I kind of ranted about something related to BFing. However, it is really important ... and here I go again!

That is one of the reasons I enjoy my monthly La Leche League meeting and attend faithfully. It is a supportive environment with women (and their children) committed to BFing. Maybe it makes me feel superior, but mainly I'm proud of my accomplishment. Growing a baby is an amazing feat and feeding a baby is also an incredible ability. I also like to support other women who want to BF their child. Don't get me wrong - I'll be glad to stop this part of my relationship with Julia. I'm looking forward to not having something growing inside of me or attached to me in that way. I need some space! I'm looking forward to doing other activities with Julia - playing with balls and reading to her for example.

I had a funny experience last weekend with a newer mom (11 week old baby). She mentioned how hard BFing is and how it can push you to the edge and you cannot understand if you've never experienced it. I said "yeah, I know it's difficult." It was a weird situation and chalked it up to her new mom hormones, but I wish I had said "I know you've been feeding your baby for 11 weeks and it is hard, but I've been doing it for 11 months."

I know the EDGE. Been there - done that!
: )

All Breastmilk, All the Time

I haven't written much of anything about the weight crisis. It was a hard 6-7 weeks. Almost like you cannot describe, yet everyone with a baby, especially breastfeeding moms, knows some of what you're experiencing.

The regiment/schedule was brutal.
1. Nurse Julia (30-40 minutes - she's slow AND sleepy)
2. Put her in the Pack N Play to entertain herself (usually if I was alone this is what I had to do) while I pumped (15-20 minutes to pump, additional time to clean up materials); hopefully she'd nap sometimes
3. Feed Julia a bottle of expressed breast milk (10-15 minutes)

Then I would need to rest(or eat or shower maybe if lucky) or play with Julia before starting this process over again - every 3 hours!

I hardly watched TV (sometimes when I pumped) or checked my email. I didn't go to the gym or even exercise at home. I didn't leave my house except for La Leche League meetings (twice a month) or weekly weight checks at Julia's doctor (ANXIETY producing!). I always had Julia with me, too, so that meant I got no time alone. That is hard for anyone, especially someone like me who needs exercise and alone time to recharge.

Someone asked me or Jai or my sister or my mom (I got reports from them) why (or when) I didn't use formula. At first that wasn't a consideration - it really didn't occur to me. Breast milk is best for your baby plus it's free (regardless of the time required). Then I started to go crazy - how do you live this life?!?! Formula became an option - almost every day I said "FORGET ABOUT IT, I'm done!" Many times I told Jai "tomorrow you're going to have to get some formula." Me, Tara, the breastfeeding advocate and resident cheapskate. However, when you're tired and no one else but you is feeding that baby, you explore alternatives.

It is all the time. It is my job, everything else can wait (other than food and sleep). Luckily it's temporary as many people tell us - breastfeeding ends, sleep deprivation improves, you have a different routine. My goal used to be feeding to feeding, then it was day to day and week to week, now I try to reach the next month. Right now my long term goal is 6 months and we start solids. Then breast milk won't be her only food. It still is the majority food source, but not only.

I'd like to make it 1 year which is best according to World Health Organization and before you can feed cow's milk even though we don't drink/eat dairy usually. If we make it to December 8, I'll be surprised and elated. I also will be happy to stop. It isn't really my thing. Maybe because it has been a challenging experience, yes, that is part of it. However, like with pregnancy, I could take it or leave it with breastfeeding. I enjoyed most of my pregnancy, didn't have problems, but I'm not a woman who had to be pregnant. Same with breastfeeding. It's a cool process, neat that my body produces food for a baby to eat and all the equipment is attached, ideally you can do it anywhere. Actually legally you can feed your baby anywhere you are allowed to be, public or private. Unless it is someone's private home and they ask you to stop; if that happens, you want to leave their home.

I am envious of women who have mothers who breastfed them. It is a valuable resource; many women my age are part of a "lost" breastfeeding generation. We have heard MANY stories of struggles with the baby weight gain issue too (I suspect those growth charts are created by formula companies) as well as breastfeeding challenges. Luckily more children are getting breast milk, even if in combination with some formula. Hopefully that means more girls will grow up to breastfeed their children and have supportive partners to encourage them.

I'm lucky to have a wonderful partner in Jai & Julia is lucky to have a great dad.

La Leche League meeting

Today I went to the day LLL meeting in Nashville. I attended an evening meeting in November and really enjoyed my experience with these wonderful women. I was excited to return to a meeting with my baby!

It is encouraging to be surrounded by all these awesome & empowered breastfeeding (and some pregnant as I was at my first meeting) women, an opportunity to share experiences and also get feedback if having issues. The meeting typically includes a training/educational component. The diverse group of women and their children creates such a lovely supportive environment which I really needed this week in my efforts to breastfeed effectively.

As I arrived late (it seems like my new calling card) they were introducing themselves, their child and his/her age and also what you like about breastfeeding. Today's topic was about the basic fundamentals of breastfeeding. I, of course, shared that I like the free aspect of breastfeeding, not necessary to buy formula or deal with bottles. There are many health benefits for both the mother and child. Also the emotional connection to your child builds trust and bonding. There is also the convenient aspect of breastfeeding in terms of readiness whereever you are, again no need for bottles and formula.

Someone mentioned the connection between mothers and daughters who breastfed which I never thought of. Bonnie didn't breastfeed us (she listened to the doctor). However, it seems understandable as it must be very challenging with TWO babies. Having a daughter it makes me excited about Julia breastfeeding her children, possibly a daughter, in the far future!

Another woman mentioned the generational gap - a large portion of a generation who didn't breastfeed. Women (my mother's age) were told that breast feeding was inferior (poor people's food) and formula much more superior. Bonnie is an example of that generation who didn't breastfeed and therefore cannot share that experience with me. She also mentioned the incidence of cancer, so much now, and the possible connection between not breastfeeding, having consequences for both mother and child, especially a female child.

One of my favorites: how the exposure of breastfeeding impacts young children, especially boys. The woman shared about a boy hearing a baby cry and saying "someone needs to nurse this baby." I think of LJ on our first evening home from hospital and how he helped me position a pillow in order to feed Julia. Most 14 year olds might be embarrassed to even know what I was doing, much less assist me.

We are powerful women and we make milk to feed our children!

Midwife Visits # 5-9

I haven't written much about my recent midwife appointments. I started going more frequently so I couldn't keep up plus they're not that different. I arrive, nurse gets my weight and blood pressure, I wait to see the midwife, I have a list of issues and questions, we converse, it is pleasant.

Between visits # 5 and 6 (only 3 weeks), I gained 10 pounds so that's not anything to rush home and write! : ) I don't know what happened - maybe too many Gigi's cupcakes, Cheetos and tater tots from Sonic (yes, these have been my pregnancy vices) - and not enough biking and water aerobics. Fortunately when I returned 2 weeks later, I was at the same weight - 10 pounds in 5 weeks was more acceptable. Actually the past 2 weeks I have gained minimal weight - 1-2 pounds thankfully.

I joked with the nurse about taking off my shoes, bracelet, earrings, anything I could. Maybe I'll stop looking at the number; however, I doubt that will happen - I like to know the number. Same with my blood pressure which rarely differs - usually 110/68 t0 115/75. Jai is SO jealous since he really struggles with his blood pressure. Even being pregnant and carrying an extra 35 pounds is not making it change.

What else?
Heartburn is still happening. I'm hoping for some relief when the baby drops, but so far no such luck (in droppage or heartburn cessation). Midwife says it might not decrease - hormones or something. Even if the heartburn persists I wish the baby's butt would get out of my chest, it's so HIGH! (what does that mean - boy or girl?)

Breastfeeding - really curious, nervous, excited to see how it all works. I'm determined to make it happen. It's FREE, always perfect for your baby, available at any time, easily digestible, and FREE. Formula is expensive, requires equipment, not always digestible, potentially contributes to possible allergies, and recently we read about some recalls. Breast milk doesn't get recalled.

• The midwife gave me some good suggestions and resources. Not a surprise! : )
• I've read 2-3 books from the library. Good information!
• I attended a La Leche League (LLL) meeting in November. Really nice women!

At this point, I plan to work with the lactaction consultant at the hospital and utilize the doula gift certificate. I also have support from Jai and Bonnie, my 2 most important champions in this effort. I intend to attend LLL meeting again, if not in December (depends on baby's arrival since near due date), definitely in January.

Birth Plan - gave them a copy to put in my file which will be in my chart at the hospital; one page, succinct and to the point, hoping all will be simple with no or few complications or meds necessary. The midwife is very encouraging and supportive of the no meds stance. I'm excited to do it - I'm really curious how my body will handle birth from the physical, mental and emotional perspectives.

Braxton-Hicks contractions - yep, I started to experience these suckers about 1-2 weeks ago. They are good preparation of the uterus for labor & delivery, bit of pressure, hardening of my belly. Good heads up of more intense contractions to come during the real deal. They are not too frequent (not more than 4 in an hour and not painful), just ever present as a reminder that birth is imminent. A baby will be here this month - we will be parents very soon!