The waiting is the hardest part

Tara is laboring but we can't get to the breaking point.

Contractions are hovering around every 10min. They are getting more intense but not more frequent. If something doesn't give this will be the 3rd night of labor.

I have to say for all of Tara's low tolerance for discomfort (Its too cold, its too hot, etc) she is a monster at handling these contractions. Her focus and concentration are awe inspiring.

Boomerang Contractions

We got down to 8min apart but they slowly went back up to 20min apart and now they are back around 8. Damn you mother nature! Finish what you start please.

Baby coming, baby coming

Tara's been having contractions at a rate of 1 every 9min. We're aiming for 6 or 7 min for an hour before we go to the hospital.

So we might be having another middle of the night, rainy day baby.

We're all followers, aren't we.

Yesterday Beyoncé (Ingrid Jackson) and Jigga had a baby. Big up to them on the birth of their baby girl.

Today Tara says she feels weird, not labor necessarily but weird none-the-less. Is it time? I'm sure if Beyoncé hadn't had her baby Tara would feel fine, right? Riiiight.

Julia's Birth Story: Part 3 (Jai's Version)

For weeks I'd been frustrated that nothing was happening. I came home from work on Monday, the 8th and Tara looked a bit more tired than usual. She expressed some concerns over the contractions but I didn't think much about it since we'd been dealing with Braxton-Hicks for awhile. I asked her if they were more intense, she said not really. I asked if they were more frequent, she said she hadn't noticed. I pulled out one of my dad-to-be books and asked Tara to time them...the book said something about 5 min apart. She said they weren't and we continued our night. I fixed dinner, we watched a little TV and Tara decided to go to bed.

An hour or so later she says she can't go to sleep b/c of the contractions which were only a minute or so more frequent than before. She told me I needed to come to bed earlier than my usual time b/c who knows how much longer I would be able to get sleep, I didn't listen. I crawled in bed about 12midnight and we spooned and I rubbed her back as I dozed off. Within 15 minutes, Tara exclaims something. I ask and she says her water just broke. She carefully walked to the bathroom, I got the phone, Tara gave me the midwife office phone. Soyehl was on call and asked me what color was the fluid; just as I asked Tara she says "Oh, gross, that's nasty." I tell Soheyl that its greenish and tells me that is meconium and we should go straight to the hospital. She doesn't explain, I don't ask. I call Bonnie and tell her what's going on.

We were both hurried but I felt surprisingly calm and focused. Nervously, I let Johnders out. It was the middle of the night and I didn't know when we would be back. He thought it was a game. I got my bag, filled with a change of clothes, a book, Tara's laptop, my iPod, a comb and toothbrush. As we left, it was obvious that Johnders knew something was going on.

As I think about it, I knew something was going on too, it had only been a day or two earlier that I sent an email to my desk replacements to make sure I had proper contact info. It had been only a day or two that I filled a giant plastic bag with Johnders' food. It was earlier in the evening that I first asked Tara which route she preferred to get to the hospital. I asked b/c invariably I take the highway and Tara asks why I went that way and I didn't want to be on the way to the hospital and have THAT conversation.

We calmly make it to the hospital. Along the way Tara had couple of contractions but she was far more worried about getting messy...amniotic fluid continued to flow...more than the pain she was feeling. Her calmness allowed me to be calm. We made it to Vandy's Emergency Room and the valet was about to take the car, I had the bags and the car wouldn't start. I went back to see what was going on - the battery had died. Let me repeat.

We ARRIVED at Vanderbilt Hospital and the battery died.

The universe conspiring to move my life forward (I'll tell you about the night my dad died at some other point). Tara proceeded to check in and have contractions but finally the valet said he would figure it out, which he did and I finally got inside with Tara.

Being Home Post-Delivery

Julia is serious about her breastfeeding so I haven't had much opportunity to check email or write many posts. I've been sleeping, eating or taking a shower (EVERY DAY is my goal). Like mother, like daughter are Julia and I - serious about food and sleep and cleanliness (well we clean her right now). Since getting home on Thursday, I have stayed in very comfortable clothes like my PJ's and today I put on "real" clothes and put in my contact lenses. Small things, but I felt like a real person! Maybe tomorrow I'll go outside and walk to the mailbox. : )

Many of you have asked about labor & delivery, especially with the many different & confusing emails that went out on Sunday & Monday about "No Baby Sanders yet." Then there was the "Draft: baby Sanders is here" email with the wrong birth date, then the correct date of December 9, both sent by Jai from home on Wednesday. We had some strange lack of internet connection at Vanderbilt Hospital, very odd and unexpected. We had the laptop as everyone suggested, but without internet, it is worthless for worldwide communication about the news of our daughter's birth. It actually has been quite a comedy of errors!

Anyway, I attempted to send the "No Baby Sanders yet" on Sunday morning and couldn't get it to go out and then Jai got it fixed that evening. I really thought Julia (formerly known as the baby) wasn't coming early, actually thought she would be late. I really had some misconceptions about how everything would go down, you know since I'm a rule follower, forgetting that there are ALL kinds of exceptions with pregnancy as well as L&D. I wrote about some of it in the "Dropping" post. Then there was the question of when would my water break and then of course the contractions.

Read "Julia's Birth Story: Part 1 (At home)" first

Future postings:
Breastfeeding Basics - Julia is the Best Teacher
The Joys of Julia - there are so many!
Why Mothers are the Best Thing Ever

Julia's Birth Story: Part 2 (at the hospital)

We get to the E.R. around 1:15am, Jai turns off the car and I get out to go inside and Jai comes to follow me and I say "remember the bags." I go inside and start the enrollment process while Jai brings in the bags. As the attendant asks me questions and gets my signatures and the contractions continue, Jai comes inside and says the valet attendant couldn't get the car started. The battery is dead. Whew, I am glad we got to the hospital!

Jai goes to deal with the car and I wait for L&D to come downstairs for me. I call my mom to say we're there (Jai had called her when my water broke). Ironically Bonnie had been calling me every day for the past week or so - "just checking on you" and when she called that evening, I told her about the contractions and we'd keep her posted, but I forgot to call her when I went to bed. I really was living in a world of denial about the reality of this labor situation.

Luckily the wheelchair and L&D staff person arrive and Jai returns to get the bags and we head upstairs to the 4th floor. We get to our room, meet our really nice nurse, I change into a gown and then I get on the bed and she checks my vital signs. I'll try to keep the gory details to a minimum, but I'm a leaking mess which is really disgusting, but I don't realize the significance of it until later. Soon Soheyl comes into the room, we are so happy she's on call tonight/this morning, and she checks me to see how much my cervix is dilated. She says she's not sure because she felt something soft which is unusual for the baby's head, might be the bottom, and I'm 9 cm dilated. WHAT?! I never felt an urge to push.

She gets an ultrasound machine and confirms that the baby is head up, bottom down, in a breech position. How did that happen?! The baby has presented as head down for WEEKS now; however, she hadn't dropped and therefore wasn't locked into the pelvis. Soheyl says she has to consult with the OB staff in a situation such as this, but thinks that it will be necessary to perform a C-section. WOW! Didn't see that coming!

Naively I really thought she'd return with "good" news, but unfortunately that didn't happened. She says that C-section is recommended, the hospital doesn't do breech births anymore (or something like that) and we need to make a decision soon because of how far I'm dilated and how much amniotic fluid I've lost; luckily the baby's vitals are fine, nothing of concern now, but could change. As we're talking, I realize that an army of people has started to appear around the room, including a number of the OB staff, more nurses, some medical student (or 2), and I think an anesthesiologist.

Basically we have to decide between the risk to mother (C-section) or risk to baby (breech presentation attempting vaginal delivery) - rock and hard place, serious Catch-22. We are so conflicted because having a C-section is so far from our birth plan, the complete opposite of what we wanted for our birth experience. You don't use a midwife and plan for a C-section even though we knew that it was a possibility, depends on what happened at the time of L&D. We agonized over the options, looking at our midwife and Bonnie, for support and clarification. They both could tell how devastated and disappointed we were to be facing this situation and were wonderful advocates for us.

The other hospital staff were extremely respectful even though they knew how crucial the time frame was. We think they were surprised and amazed that this couple was considering not doing the C-section. It was our first difficult decision as parents and we chose what was safest for the baby. Bonnie told me later as we consented to the C-section that she was thinking "that is MY daughter who is going to have surgery; I don't know this baby yet, but MY daughter is having surgery. Tara has never had surgery!" I had never been in the hospital before Julia's birth!

I might write more details later about the experience in the O.R., but it was surreal, very out of my body, I was probably in shock, as it all happened so quickly. There are some silver linings I can share later and the hospital staff was wonderful throughout the whole process. I also will probably write more about my feelings of grief and loss about not having a natural childbirth experience, but Jai and Bonnie are telling me to stop and eat and rest. I have the best husband and mother EVER! : )

Julia Frances - The Wait is Over

Please welcome Julia.

Vital Stats

• Born: 12/9/08 at 3:22am
  
• Weight: 6.9 pounds
  
• Height: 19 3/4 inches
  

Mom & Baby are doing fine.