Chocolate for sale!

PTO Fundraising time ...  chocolate candy bars on sale for InglewoodES PTO

Quick synopsis

$1 per candy bar

5 flavors - milk chocolate, milk chocolate almond, dark chocolate almond, crispy rice, caramel

They'll make great stocking stuffers (if they last another 4-5 weeks in your house!).

Each bar has a coupon for Pizza Hut. What a deal!

If we sell a box of 60 bars, Julia gets prize - popcorn & movie party.

We're not aiming for Top Seller prizes.

You can email Tara (djtj81@comcast.net) or Jai (bmitd67@gmail.com) if you're interested. 

Thanks! Have a great day!

Update: we sold 3 boxes - 180 bars of chocolate!!! Unbelievable!
Most sold to people at church & Tara's school. Thanks for the support!

Like mother like daughter

We had a woman clean our house today and she did some straightening. We (Julia, Jacqueline and I) went to storytime. When we got back Julia made a beeline to her room when we got home and yelled down :

"Misty (not her real name),  "where are my cards?"
Misty said "They are in the drawer next to your bed. I needed to move them while I was cleaning."
Julia responded in kind of a mutter, "Oh, that's not where they go.  I don't put them there."

I commented that Julia has very flexible but particular places to put things. Sort of like her mother. Misty closed the conversation with "I noticed. I asked Tara if she wanted me to do any organizing and she said no, she'd take care of that."

Yes, I have am in the house with Tara, mini-Tara and minier-Tara (maybe).

deleterious

We heard this word on "Homeland" last night (new latest obsession/TV addiction that is keeping me up WAY past my bedtime!). It's so good!

This is my new favorite word!

deleterious
del·e·te·ri·ous Adjective /ˌdeliˈti(ə)rēəs/ 

Synonyms:
adjective: harmful, injurious, noisome, detrimental, prejudicial, noxious, maleficent, bad,mischievous, pernicious, malign, nocuous, hurtful, baneful, baleful, destructive, inimical

1. Causing harm or damage

SB 2013 - Phoenix - Day 3

"She is adorable!"

After another early rising of BOTH children, Susie & I took a quick & short 2 mile walk in her neighborhood on Saturday morning before we headed to PHX farmer's market - excited to see all of the yummy locally grown produce. : ) There were tons of booths with lots of great food offerings - fudge, brittle/toffee, pickles & jams, yogurt, produce of course, meat & eggs, breads, cheeses (goat & dairy) and a bunch of food trucks. It is a cool place.

"Midwives Rising"
Jacqueline has not been drinking as much soy milk from her sippy cup before and since our arrival in Phoenix. With the increase in temperature and more sun exposure, I've been breastfeeding her more. At the Farmers' Market, I see this booth for midwifery services and home birth options. Of course I'm curious. In the tent, there is a sign said breastfeeding lounge and changing station and also a rocker chair. There are a bunch of people in front of tent talking with a worker. I approach and ask about feeding Jacqueline; they immediately say yes and the woman sitting in rocker gets up (she's just sitting with her baby). Another family arrives with their 3 children, including a newborn who is HUGE! They also have a scale and the mother asks to weigh the baby. They uncover him (really just take the blanket off him), he looks even bigger, and put him on scale. He weighs 12 pounds. I asked dad about birth weight and he said baby weighed 7+ pounds ... so he's gained 5 LBS in 4 weeks. DANG! The original mom in chair returns to booth; we chat and discover they used to live in Nashville, near Portland Brew on Eastland in EAST Nashville. Crazy coincidence! I also ask the midwife about Arizona's nursing in public law and she says 2 years. Susie was right! That is crazy that AZ protects mothers & babies' rights to feed longer than TN.

"Girls' Night Out - Mom style!"
Weeks ago Susie had asked me about going out on Saturday evening to hear some cover band she & her friends like. While the girls were napping simultaneously (thank you!), she asks me about going. Susie said her friend texted her hours ago & she debated asking me as we all were so tired. She said something about 9pm ... what? That's my bedtime. : ) Then she mentioned something about Happy Hour before 7pm and her friend likes to get there early for a good table. After serious consideration, I said sure. Why not? I'm on vacation! I told Susie we'd have to leave when I got too tired plus I didn't bring any "clubbing" clothes. Seriously! I had khakis I wore on plane, a dress for church, otherwise shorts, t-shirts, flip flops. I cannot borrow jeans from Susie ... not yet (probably not ever again with these birthing hips!). I was wearing a skirt and sleeveless polo shirt with my flip flops. Oh well!

Right before 7pm Susie and I meet Carrie at a restaurant/bar called the Blue Martini, very hipster kind of place ... for a mature crowd. It felt like I was in Cougar-ville. Ironically I think we're some of the youngest people there, maybe no one younger than 35. I got a mango mojito - yum! We also ordered crab cakes, also yummy, spinach artichoke dip and a huge slice of chocolate cake - 50% off on the Happy Hour menu. Again I'm on vacation & someone else is watching my children. FUN! However, 1 drink is my limit, never been much of a drinker, but since being pregnant & breastfeeding for better part of last 5 years, I'm definitely less than skilled.
The music was OK, I knew some of the songs. The best part was the people watching. Lots of high heels, big hair, groupie clinging, inappropriate amount of visible cleavage, especially from the female servers. I joked that I could have just worn my nursing tank and fit right in!

Last observation relates to my solo visit to the bathroom right before we left.  First of all there was a bathroom attendant - it was kind of creepy, kind of stalker like as she followed me into the bathroom (she had been standing in back listening to music when no one is in bathroom). Of course I don't need assistance and I don't have any money for tip which I have no reason, but I feel slightly guilty.

As I washed my hands, I looked at the various items available for use ... hair spray, mouthwash, big toe clippers ... excuse me? WHAT?! Really! No. Seriously NOT! I'm trying imagine what that would look like. Who used them before me? Also where is the blue sterilizer liquid? I don't think so! : )

SB 2013 - Phoenix - Day 1 - Arrival

We arrived on Thursday evening in Phoenix for Spring Break 2013, barely alive, really exhausted! Unfortunately we no longer hold the title of "family traveling with well-behaved children." Verbal we know is going to happen - come on that's a given, especially with no naps. However, farting (OLDER one blaming it on the baby though so glad it was NOT a diaper explosion or vomiting like trip to Boston in June 2012) and screaming (YOUNGER one, OMG what a cry-baby!) and moving all over the place (BOTH of them) are not qualities I enjoy on a 4 hour flight with a 2 hour time difference. Also that means it was almost 8:00pm (BEDTIME) when we arrived at 5:45pm. :-(

3 seats is not enough space for 4 bodies, especially when the "lap baby" was not interested in staying in a lap. Jacqueline LOVED sitting on the floor & crawling around at our feet! It was kind of cute, but yet difficult to keep track of her. Sadly we had WAY too much stuff again even though we packed less all-around. I don't know what the difference is from October other than age, especially for Jacqueline (9 months vs. 14 months now). Maybe the flight time as it's barely more than an hour to Chicago and around 2 hours to Boston (though we had a plane change in Baltimore). All I know is it was not pleasant.

I am NOT looking forward to getting on the flight back to Nashville on Wednesday. I hope all will go well though the flight is at 6:25am (OMG! What was I thinking when I bought the tickets!?!?!?). I need to look at price for a 4th seat! : )

I am hoping the weather is better than when we left on Thursday as it is gorgeous in Phoenix. Shorts for everyone today & I'm sure for the rest of the days we're here! I'm not sure my sister will want us to visit again until these girls are older. I'm not sure I want to visit until that time plus we need to save some more money as 4 tickets will be much more expensive!

I forgot to write that after getting all of our stuff in the house and Susie & Julia go get pizza for dinner, we eat of course. Then Susie, Julia & I drive to her friend Carrie's house (about 20 minutes away) to pick up her 2nd vehicle, a Toyota Highlander, that she's letting us borrow while we're in Phoenix. So nice! It is saving us some serious cash to not have to rent a van. So grateful for good friends!!!! Driving back in Susie's car, Julia was in back seat, much more quiet than on the drive there, so tired. I really don't understand why she woke up so early the next day!

Sleep. Who needs it?

Side Note: This is a really old post. Tara gets woken once at night sometimes to feed Jacqueline, but nothing like when the baby was 5-6 months old which is when Jai started this post!

Everybody hears about the sleep deprived parents of an infant. The baby wakes up every couple of hours all night and all day and so does everybody else, right? What you don't hear about is the sleep deprived pre-schooler and the sleep deprived infant making sleep deprived parents.

Julia refuses to go to sleep at night without a fight and a long period of staying up talking. Things have been in flux with her bedtime habits since Tara was about 8 months pregnant but they have come to a head that is about to make me lose mine. During the last months of the pregnancy and first few months of Jacqueline being home Julia would come into our bed and depending on how tired I was she would sleep the remainder of the night there. Then we go on vacation and we stay in an open plan beach house with Julia's grandmother and aunt. She spent the night in a different room each night but either stayed up late or pitched a fit and sometimes both. We came home with her aunt and every night has been filled with tantrums about being scared and endless chatter and singing after the last story is read. So, here we are another night where she is awake 3 hours past that last story. She still takes her nap but I cannot wait till we get a grasp on this bedtime thing.

Jacqueline is the queen of catnaps. She will fall asleep while eating all day and then at night she will power eat. I don't have to deal with this too much because Tara is the sole provider of food but still it means Tara is getting up and down during the night and neither of us is getting a full nights sleep.

Between the two kids and the two adults I cannot believe we are all functioning as well as we are. The worse part is that I had gotten spoiled. Julia was such a good sleeper that now I am flustered and frustrated by her new pattern.

Rushing Part 2

OMG! First of all, Julia got it right. She's amazing! Yet I'm focusing on the wrong things. This is time with my family. The other stuff doesn't matter.

The activity is going to see a movie that costs $1 per person. It doesn't matter if we're on time. There probably aren't any previews either which I love. Plus I feel bad & angry trying to do so much that I'm not enjoying the current activity as I think of a zillion other tasks.

I say "come on, Tara - suck it up! Be late! Who cares! Go to the movie with your family." I finish with Jacqueline, put clothes in dryer, hang clothes on line outside (I have to, it's really hot so they'll be dry by the time we return) while Jai puts kids in car seats. I eat my cereal in the car & we arrive at theater in 10 minutes. We pay $3 for tickets & with Regal Crown Club card purchase of tickets on a Tuesday, we receive $2 small popcorn vouchers. Sweet! I buy 2 bags of popcorn = grand total of $7 for this movie experience. Jai & girls are already in theater which is semi-crowded. We climb over a family to seats in middle of row & settle in to watch movie "Rio" which came out last year.

Julia has her own bag of popcorn - so fun for her! : )
I hold baby while Jai eats popcorn from other bag.
Then we switch & he holds Jacqueline while I eat popcorn & watch movie.
I get Jacqueline back & nurse her to sleep for rest of movie.

This Summer Movie Express is a great program. $1 admission on Tuesdays & Wednesdays for 10am showing of "older" movies. You don't have to have children to attend, but most of the movies are aimed at kids plus much more affordable movie going experience for families.

"Rio" was great! Good music, fun story, set in Rio de Janiero, Brazil of course during Carnival. Julia was slightly loud at a few points, asking questions about the story.  It especially seemed like she talked loudly during a quiet moment, & we reminded her to whisper. No one shushed us though as the theater was filled with families with small children. As we left the theater we saw a friend Lisa with her children & she said this was their first time here all summer. Definitely need to do this next summer, especially on hot or rainy days!

Be late, do less tasks, be happy with the now! Rushing around is crazy!

Rushing ...

I feel like this is the title of my life. I'm always trying to get so much done in what feels like the smallest amount of time. Rushing here, rushing there, on a constant treadmill through my life. I also rush other people, especially Jai who seems super slow sometimes & Julia too despite other posts about her constant movement. Even drivers on the road sometimes are slow - well, some are!

It's not that they (Jai & Julia) are that slow, it's that I cannot realistically get everything I want done in the time allowed, especially not with a small baby, also a breastfed baby. Factoring in the time to feed her before, after or during an activity is really annoying sometimes and means things don't get done. Frustrating!

Example:
Yesterday I slept "late" meaning I didn't get up after Jacqueline's typical 5am feeding & do my alone time routine (pump/email or blog posts, laundry, exercise, shower) before everyone else wakes. We ALL slept in MY bed until 8am. OMG! Yes, that is late in our house. I really do not remember how many times Jacqueline ate; I was so tired! At some point Julia came into our room; not finding any room in the middle of bed or on the side by Jai she sleeps perpendicularly at the foot board.

Last night I told Jai I wanted to be ready to leave for that day's activity at 9am. Usually I set the time about an hour before we need to be at destination. No way it's going to happen now! Instead of jumping in shower & focusing on essential tasks, I put a load of laundry in washer. They're all still upstairs doing I don't know what. Now I realize I won't be able to shower with washer on (weirdness) so I start to vacuum as the dog hair is SO annoying right now, well really always! Family downstairs now, Jai starts breakfast. I get clothes from washer to hang outside & put ANOTHER load in washer.  I leave basket with wet clean clothes (to hang on clothes line outside) on bench by back door. I figure I'll get to them later.

Finally I decide to jump in shower - it's past 9am now. I hear Jacqueline crying as I'm dressing & I cannot remember how long it's been since I fed her. I hurry to get her & remind Jai that we need to leave in 30 minutes max & he still needs to shower. I'm also hungry so this is making me extra irritable of course. While feeding Jacqueline, I brush Julia's hair & help her put some lotion on her arms & legs. Jai brings me bacon & heads upstairs to shower. As 9:45am approaches I decide I'm not going - I say aloud "I need to feed myself, feed Jacqueline, hang laundry, put other laundry in dryer."  Jai has showered & dressed already & come downstairs really quickly - he's amazingly fast at this task. Julia walks to kitchen to tell him that "Mommy isn't going with us to the movie."  "What? Why?" I hear him ask. Her reply - "She has things she wants to get done."

Post is too long - to be continued.

The waiting is the hardest part

Tara is laboring but we can't get to the breaking point.

Contractions are hovering around every 10min. They are getting more intense but not more frequent. If something doesn't give this will be the 3rd night of labor.

I have to say for all of Tara's low tolerance for discomfort (Its too cold, its too hot, etc) she is a monster at handling these contractions. Her focus and concentration are awe inspiring.

Blueberries for Sal

This is the book Julia got from Imagination Library yesterday.

Jai & Julia told me she got a new book, but I forgot to ask what it was or look at it. I usually do when I get home from work as I'm excited when it arrives in the mail. However, it was Friday & I was really tired! Growing this baby is exhausting!

This morning walking home from the Y with Julia, we were talking about her new book & I asked her what it was. She said Blueberries for Sal very clearly, no hesitation. Of course I was impressed which I usually am with her verbal skills in general, but she just got this book. Maybe it's not signficant, but it seems amazing to me that she said the title so quickly & easily. Actually her memory is incredible so maybe it's not that earth shattering.

However, more importantly I loved this book as a child! I'm so excited to be able to read it with her as I was so happy when my mom gave Julia "Bread and Jam for Frances" for Mother's Day in May, another favorite of mine.

I'm so grateful & blessed that my child loves reading as much as I do. I'm sure we'll have many opportunities to bond over something, but I'm glad one experience is the wonders of reading wonderful books!

Happy Birthday Tara!

Happy birthday to my favorite wife!!

I hope your day is the start of a wonderful year.

Always a Concerned Mother

Again I don't remember all my insightful words from weeks ago ... I think I realize that there is always something to be concerned about as a parent. Julia doesn't get sick often which is wonderful. She's rarely fussy, usually she's cranky when hungry or tired. Julia gets hurt most of the time when she's playing and running and bumping into things. But there's always concern about how's she's doing - physically, emotionally, mentally. How is she developing? How does she compare to other young children? I know she's an individual and will do it her way, that I definitely know! We know she's developing on pace, regardless of when she walks, talks, runs, stacks things, feeds herself, picks up her toys, not matter how she relates to other kids. Julia is happy - that is the most important quality. She is doing fine.

Mother's Day 2010

I would like to wish my fabulous wife Tara a wonderful Mother's Day!

There are no amount of words I can use to express how impressed I am with you, how fortunate I am to know you, and how glad I am that YOU are the mother of our child. Julia and I are better people for know you.

Today is also Julia's 17 months birthday - she's almost 1 1/2 years old!

Said with nothing but love,
Jai

2010 - A New Year in Parenting

So I retired the breast pump on Julia's first birthday.
That was an awesome feeling!

The rest of that week and the next one before Winter Break I still nursed her 2-4 times each day. Before I left for work, when I got home from work and at bedtime, and then sometimes if Julia woke at 1-2am. During the 2 weeks of Winter Break I was home and decided to drop the evening feeding and mostly she slept through the night so I was down to 2 feedings.

Now that it is 2010, I'm really ready to wean Julia for real!

Yesterday I didn't feed her in the morning before I left for work or when I got home. I fed her after dinner, then I went to a 6:30pm Zumba class at the Y while Jai gave her a bath and read book before she went to sleep at 7pm. She slept ALL night and I fed her this morning because I had a vicious knot in my right breast. However, I'm going to feed her at bedtime tonight and not tomorrow morning; eventually my body will adjust.

I think that will be the LAST nursing session to drop - she likes her bedtime one, very comforting. In the morning not nursing is easier because she wakes and gets solid foods.

2009 was the year of breastfeeding Julia & working, but not much else.

2010 is the year of reading books with Julia and getting my body back in lean, mean, fighting shape. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by June and tone some of this flabby flesh! My friend Pauline's wedding on June 13 is a good time frame - 5 months. Then hopefully we're going to tennis camp after the nuptials. : ) I'd like to play in the tennis league this spring also - so I can be ready for camp.

Jai writes about the discoveries and wonders of Julia which makes sense because he is home with her most of the time. I enjoy reading his reflections - I see some of what I miss and am reminded of the funny & interesting things I witness too. Hopefully I will write more about the new phases of parenting Julia as I transition into different roles.

Grateful Journal

I named this post many months ago, but didn't write any comments. It was a thought I didn't want to forget... that is what I resort to now.

During my P.P.D. period, one of the ideas was to write daily in a grateful journal. I started in March; it was wonderfully therapeutic to identify good elements in my day. It helped me make the big & overwhelming seem manageable and positive. Occasionally I read past entries and one common theme is how frequently I mention Jai.

Julia too of course!

Jai is the best husband/partner and friend. He truly has been a rock, especially the past few months. He doesn't get any more rest than me. Jai continues to cook our meals, clean, grocery shop, care for Julia while I'm at work. Sometimes it seems like a lot more compared to me working and feeding Julia. Yet it takes a lot of energy to produce milk & feed/pump for Julia.

That is how we organize our family/life responsibilities right now.

I am grateful for many wonderful things in my life!

The Lactivist

Lactation Activist - pretty clever.

That's me. It has been my focus for the past 11 months! I'm slightly obsessed I know. I laughed when I read the word "lactivist" on the back of a book, Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay. It's a perfect term to describe my slightly militant stance on BFing. It's actually a pretty funny book about new motherhood until you realize the author is an alcoholic. The title is a hint obviously!

Anyway, I find that I talk about breastfeeding A LOT. For example, we were at dinner with friends a couple of months ago. Jai put his hand on my leg as I kind of ranted about something related to BFing. However, it is really important ... and here I go again!

That is one of the reasons I enjoy my monthly La Leche League meeting and attend faithfully. It is a supportive environment with women (and their children) committed to BFing. Maybe it makes me feel superior, but mainly I'm proud of my accomplishment. Growing a baby is an amazing feat and feeding a baby is also an incredible ability. I also like to support other women who want to BF their child. Don't get me wrong - I'll be glad to stop this part of my relationship with Julia. I'm looking forward to not having something growing inside of me or attached to me in that way. I need some space! I'm looking forward to doing other activities with Julia - playing with balls and reading to her for example.

I had a funny experience last weekend with a newer mom (11 week old baby). She mentioned how hard BFing is and how it can push you to the edge and you cannot understand if you've never experienced it. I said "yeah, I know it's difficult." It was a weird situation and chalked it up to her new mom hormones, but I wish I had said "I know you've been feeding your baby for 11 weeks and it is hard, but I've been doing it for 11 months."

I know the EDGE. Been there - done that!
: )

My friend got engaged!

I know this blog is about our family, but friends are family, too. This is one of my best friends from college, Pauline, my tennis camp buddy. We also were DJs together (parties & campus radio station) at college & we each visited the other when we lived in Asia in 1994 (me in Thailand, P in Hong Kong).

She got engaged last weekend to her boyfriend, Andy.

YEAH! I am so happy for her. She deserves the most happiness!

I love an occasion to get together with my Wellesley friends, their partners and children. There are so many of us now. I also look forward to seeing Pauline's parents and sister and probably some of my other friends' parents. 2010 is going to be a busy year since we all turn 40 too. We have a plan to celebrate that event together - not sure how, we're still brainstorming, hopefully a spa somewhere, WITHOUT children or spouses. : )

Congratulations, Pauline and Andy!

P.S. They're moving to Memphis in August 2010!!!

Modified Still Insane Daily Schedule

As with everything with a baby, once I get used to a routine, then the baby changes it! : ) That is hard for me, I like consistency, not a fan of change; however, that is my life now.

Actually I started this post in Sept. and finished it in Nov.
Obviously, my life ran away from me! Work will be busy always and when I get home, the same applies. I want to spend time with Julia & Jai, too. She's lots of fun now - really always! Once she goes to bed, then I get ready for the next day.

Now that Julia eats food, we eat dinner together. Occasionally she stares at our food. We speculate that she wonders when she'll get to eat salad and ground turkey. Julia loves her food - banana is still her favorite & soy yogurt. Now she adores oats! I believe oats are my saving grace - she started sleeping 10-11 hours at night recently. She goes to sleep at 7p & wakes around 6:30am. It's quite lovely!

Again some of this is temporary. Pumping at work ends soon. December 8 is the ONE year end zone - my ultimate goal! If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - hopefully 1-2 times a day.

How's it going?

The question everybody asks when discussing my life as a stay-at-home dad.

My new answer is going to be something like...

I prepare Julia's breakfast, I feed her, I clean her up and I try to get her to sleep. Followed almost immediately by I prepare Julia's lunch, I feed her, I clean her up and I try to get her to sleep. After that I prepare Julia's late lunch, I feed her, I clean her up and I try to get her to sleep. Finally I get to prepare Tara's (and mine) dinner, then I clean the kitchen.

After I get to eat I still have time to prepare Tara's breakfast and lunch, clean the kitchen again and wait to change Julia's diaper before I go to bed.

Weight

Weight Watchers - I started it again after my sister's visit and her mention of how much I eat. Even with breastfeeding, I know I take it too far and let myself eat more than necessary. It'd be different if I was exercising like I used to, but I'm not. I haven't been to the Y in weeks! I cannot remember the last time I rode my stationary bike. No sit-ups or push-ups - how am I going to get my Michelle Obama arms? I know I will get my pre-pregnancy body back or a version of it; I'm just impatient and I really want to wear my favorite jeans. : )

Ironically with Julia's weight issues, I wish I could give her some of my calories and fat, especially my back fat. I could exercise more consistently, but I'd rather sleep or watch TV then figure out an exercise routine.

Jai &d I say we're donating to the Y right now. It happens - we'll (mainly me I suspect since that was the norm before Julia) get back there eventually. Also we (read Jai) go to the park some - got to take Johnders to the dog park so he gets exercise, too.

We constantly hear "she's so petite" and many people marvel at her abilities ... they assume Julia's much younger so they are surprised she can sit up or crawl or whatever it is. Then they are amazed when we say how old she is. Julia wears clothes sized 0-12 months, but most are 6-9 months - usually she's about 3 months less than her age. Some babies and children are too big - childhood obesity is a major issue.

However, I wish she weighed 1-3 pounds more than now. My issue I know!
Julia's doctor says that gymnasts, for example, are born with a small shape/frame, they don't start big and then lose weight. Someone has to be smaller and that is definitely Julia. We believe that Julia will be a gymnast.

Luckily she's healthy AND really strong and has not been sick yet. Seriously not one cold or sniffle or cough, no green mucus, NOTHING! Thank goodness for healthy living and breast milk.