Happy Wednesday!

"Daddy, it's Happy Wednesday."

"Why do you call it that Julia?"

"Well, last night Aunt Susie typed 'Happy Wednesday' when we were Skyping!"

SB 2013 - Phoenix - Day 3

"She is adorable!"

After another early rising of BOTH children, Susie & I took a quick & short 2 mile walk in her neighborhood on Saturday morning before we headed to PHX farmer's market - excited to see all of the yummy locally grown produce. : ) There were tons of booths with lots of great food offerings - fudge, brittle/toffee, pickles & jams, yogurt, produce of course, meat & eggs, breads, cheeses (goat & dairy) and a bunch of food trucks. It is a cool place.

"Midwives Rising"
Jacqueline has not been drinking as much soy milk from her sippy cup before and since our arrival in Phoenix. With the increase in temperature and more sun exposure, I've been breastfeeding her more. At the Farmers' Market, I see this booth for midwifery services and home birth options. Of course I'm curious. In the tent, there is a sign said breastfeeding lounge and changing station and also a rocker chair. There are a bunch of people in front of tent talking with a worker. I approach and ask about feeding Jacqueline; they immediately say yes and the woman sitting in rocker gets up (she's just sitting with her baby). Another family arrives with their 3 children, including a newborn who is HUGE! They also have a scale and the mother asks to weigh the baby. They uncover him (really just take the blanket off him), he looks even bigger, and put him on scale. He weighs 12 pounds. I asked dad about birth weight and he said baby weighed 7+ pounds ... so he's gained 5 LBS in 4 weeks. DANG! The original mom in chair returns to booth; we chat and discover they used to live in Nashville, near Portland Brew on Eastland in EAST Nashville. Crazy coincidence! I also ask the midwife about Arizona's nursing in public law and she says 2 years. Susie was right! That is crazy that AZ protects mothers & babies' rights to feed longer than TN.

"Girls' Night Out - Mom style!"
Weeks ago Susie had asked me about going out on Saturday evening to hear some cover band she & her friends like. While the girls were napping simultaneously (thank you!), she asks me about going. Susie said her friend texted her hours ago & she debated asking me as we all were so tired. She said something about 9pm ... what? That's my bedtime. : ) Then she mentioned something about Happy Hour before 7pm and her friend likes to get there early for a good table. After serious consideration, I said sure. Why not? I'm on vacation! I told Susie we'd have to leave when I got too tired plus I didn't bring any "clubbing" clothes. Seriously! I had khakis I wore on plane, a dress for church, otherwise shorts, t-shirts, flip flops. I cannot borrow jeans from Susie ... not yet (probably not ever again with these birthing hips!). I was wearing a skirt and sleeveless polo shirt with my flip flops. Oh well!

Right before 7pm Susie and I meet Carrie at a restaurant/bar called the Blue Martini, very hipster kind of place ... for a mature crowd. It felt like I was in Cougar-ville. Ironically I think we're some of the youngest people there, maybe no one younger than 35. I got a mango mojito - yum! We also ordered crab cakes, also yummy, spinach artichoke dip and a huge slice of chocolate cake - 50% off on the Happy Hour menu. Again I'm on vacation & someone else is watching my children. FUN! However, 1 drink is my limit, never been much of a drinker, but since being pregnant & breastfeeding for better part of last 5 years, I'm definitely less than skilled.
The music was OK, I knew some of the songs. The best part was the people watching. Lots of high heels, big hair, groupie clinging, inappropriate amount of visible cleavage, especially from the female servers. I joked that I could have just worn my nursing tank and fit right in!

Last observation relates to my solo visit to the bathroom right before we left.  First of all there was a bathroom attendant - it was kind of creepy, kind of stalker like as she followed me into the bathroom (she had been standing in back listening to music when no one is in bathroom). Of course I don't need assistance and I don't have any money for tip which I have no reason, but I feel slightly guilty.

As I washed my hands, I looked at the various items available for use ... hair spray, mouthwash, big toe clippers ... excuse me? WHAT?! Really! No. Seriously NOT! I'm trying imagine what that would look like. Who used them before me? Also where is the blue sterilizer liquid? I don't think so! : )

Aunt Susie

I usually call her that.
However, she is in Nashville for her annual visit (I wish she could visit more often) & my mom calls her "Suz." That is a great nickname.

"Hey, Suz!"

She & my mom laughed & laughed when they heard me say it for the first time.
I'm SO adorable!!! : )

Come visit again soon, Suz!

You haven't posted anything in awhile...

I hear this sometimes...

I wish I could post every day. However, it's like email. Sometimes it piles up & when I finally sit down to read & write email, I'm there for HOURS!

The same could be said about the blog - I could write almost every day, but it's about choices. I'm learning... I want to do everything, but in reality that is not possible.

Susie was here for 2 weeks in July you know - she found time to be on her laptop constantly, watching her guilty pleasure/evening soap opera drama... somehow I thought I'd get more babysitting out of Susie. Actually I did get a few personal hygiene things done like haircut, legs waxed, but somehow I thought it'd be more. : )

Julia's baptism happened and we had tons of family in town - also great, but not lots of personal time. I still need to order some photos and send to my family... WHEN?

Then I went back to work... I already posted my insane schedule.

One thing I really miss is exercising every day. I haven't been to the Y since before Susie was here! We didn't go ONCE while Susie was here. We were like couch potatoes which is unlike us.

So here's a post saying I don't have time to post! : )

How Tired Can you Get?

I thought I couldn't get any more tired. WHY did I think that?

Driving to work this morning, I was so exhausted; I don't remember why now. That's the other lovely by-product of not getting enough rest - my sucky memory REALLY suffers now!

Some days are better than others.

I called my sister, 1/2 hoping I'd get her voicemail (at 8am in Nashville it's 6am in Phoenix). Sadly my sister rises with the sun of her own free will ... ahh, the life choices for a person without child who wakes you at 1am to eat. I'm so jealous sometimes!

Anyway, not really trying to be funny, just honest, yet the delivery is so serious and sad that it really is funny, I tell Susie the following advice:
- get as much as sleep as you possibly can
- take naps - if not for you, for me! : )
- sleep LATE - again if not for you, for me

Susie laughed & laughed; I joined her because it is funny, pathetic, but funny. One day, soon I pray, I'll be able to sleep uninterrupted for 8 WHOLE hours without having to feed Julia in the middle of the night.

That's all I want right now - that's my dream. : )

Susie's coming home!

She'll be here in a week! YEAH!!!!!!!!

I cannot wait to see her and for her to see how much Julia has grown. Julia was so TINY when Susie last saw her in person.

Susie reads the blog and looks at the pictures on flickr and hears her "talk" when she calls us. However, it's not the same as seeing Julia's growth and development in person.

Be prepared for tears, sister! I know you will be crying! : )

From Aunt Susie...

Hi. Happy '2 months' Birthday!!

How exciting for you (and your roommates!). I heard that Grandma Bonnie sang to you on 1/9. That would be a bad idea for me to try that with you because I want you to eventually speak to me...lol. Hope you like this thoughtful email message at midnight instead. Keep your eyes on that postcard I sent you on New Year's Eve. Pretty soon we will be able to catch up in person again. It may be only 3.5 weeks away. Also try to take it easy on the crying so everyone in your house stays healthy and rested (and you get prepared for your first visit to Phoenix)! I know you are going to love it here!! Enjoy "He's Just Not That Into You" on Tuesday. Stay smart and strong (and that other cute thing too)! Take care.

Much love, Susie :)

Why Mothers are the Best Thing in the World!

... and husband and sister and friends ...

I feel very blessed to have lots of support. I am lucky to have my mom, Bonnie, in the same city. I realize that many people are not as fortunate to have family and friend support.

week 1 Jai was off work and at the hospital Tuesday-Thursday & then at home Friday-Monday, also Bonnie was with us at the hospital and home Tuesday-Saturday during the day
week 2 Jai returns to work on Tuesday, Bonnie is with us Monday-Friday during the day
week 3 Bonnie is with us on Monday, Susie arrives Monday night and stays with us until she leaves on Dec. 29, Jai was off Wednesday-Sunday
week 4 Bonnie was with us Monday & Tuesday during the day, my first day alone was Wednesday (New Year's Eve), Jai off for New Year's Day, again I'm alone on Friday

I really wonder how couples without resources, or especially single parents, handle the overwhelming work of being new parents. Despite the amount of reading Jai and I did and do, we constantly feel like we don't know what we're doing. Instinct and common sense help, but sometimes we are perplexed and paranoid about Julia's welfare, especially during the LONG crying moments.

Anyway, back to my mother. Bonnie was with us every day while at the hospital, then when we went home until my sister arrived and then Susie was with us until she returned to Phoenix. We suspect it was so Bonnie got to hold Julia as much as possible! : ) We're lucky she says hello to me and Jai before demanding to hold Ms. J. Sometimes she has to bide her time & visit with me if I'm breastfeeding when she gets to our house! : )

On the days she doesn't come to our house, she calls and checks on us. Bonnie is an invaluable resource - good suggestions, sounding board, confidence builder, especially with the breastfeeding challenges. Even though she didn't breastfeed Susie and I, she is constantly supportive and advocates for Julia and I to succeed.

Normally I see my mom regularly, usually every Sunday at church, and then at biweekly knitting group meetings. In addition I saw her almost every other week for healing sessions during most of the third trimester while pregnant. However, it has been really nice to have hours of time with her to talk about various topics, most parenting-related, especially during the many hours of breastfeeding.

Initially we processed the birth experience. I feel sad that we had to leave my mom alone in the L&D room as first I left to be prepped in the O.R. and then Jai joined me there. I remember hearing her say "make sure someone comes and tells me what happens." She was there to be our coach as well as welcome her first biological grandchild into the world and she lost that experience. Luckily she met Jai and Julia in the hallway as they went to the nursery.

I stare at Julia for hours and sometimes J looks like Bonnie which we all have noticed though usually I see Susie in her. That makes most people laugh since S and I are twins & therefore Julia looks like me! : ) However, Susie & I are not identical twins, despite some thinking otherwise. When I think of our baby pictures, I recall that S has a different shaped face, more oval shaped. Anyway, it has been neat for Bonnie to examine Julia for family features. She hadn't been able to identify with the other 4 grandchildren (my brother Joel is adopted if you didn't know) in that kind of way. However, we all think Julia looks like her cousin, Jaliyah (Joel's middle daughter) who ironically I think is most like my personality (though she enjoys playing in the dirt and gardening with Grandma Bonnie).

There are usually lots of funny stories when I think of my mom. She says and does funny things as do most of us. This one really surprised me. However, I will cut her some slack. It was a very visceral response to seeing and being with Julia - overwhelmed with the love.

We're in the hospital room.
B: I have to go shopping for an outfit for her.
T: ... WHAT?!
Bonnie: She's so adorable and I need to put her in something cute.
T: (sigh) Bonnie, you know how we feel about consumerism. She doesn't need a new outfit.
B: I know, but I want to put her in something!
T: We have plenty of clothes. You can go "shopping" at the "store" in the nursery at our house.

The next week when we're at home, Bonnie goes upstairs to the nursery while I'm feeding Julia. Bonnie is putting stuff away in Julia's dresser. Soonafter I hear exclamations of "oh, that's cute" and "so adorable!" as she looks through Julia's many outfits. Some of them are not fitting yet since she's so small still, but we're looking forward to all of the future choices for Grandma Bonnie.

Another funny story about Bonnie and Julia. When Jai and I were discussing our ideas for child care for the baby, we hoped that my mom might be willing and able to watch her for one day a week. We asked her about it and she said probably it would work, but she wasn't particularly committed, kind of vague. Once we learned of the lack of a flexible work schedule for Jai, we didn't worry too much about Bonnie's hesitation to commit.

Well, the other day she tells me about a new plan that involves her watching Julia one day. She also might get some others (Buddy, Lois) to help us for 2-3 days ... Julia truly has captured Grandma Bonnie's heart! She really thinks Susie won't be able to be separated from Julia and could be our nanny. : ) Also while I'm on maternity leave, I asked and she agreed to give me some time when I need a break (go to the dentist, see a movie, visit a friend). She said she was going to offer, but wasn't sure if it was too soon!

Love it! Love Bonnie! Thanks, Mom! : )

If Ethel Kennedy can do it, so can I! : )

Susie was in town the first week of October (her school has this brillant calendar of 9 week quarters with 2 weeks of break - awesome!) and we had a great time visiting. When she first saw me, she said "that is not a food baby!" She followed it with "and if it was, we have a problem!" We laughed and laughed - she taught me that phrase so it has special meaning.

As I wrote in an earlier post, Susie asked if we were going to play tennis and I said of course. Well, I didn't know how tired I would be in this trimester. Also I played tennis earlier in the week with a co-worker, Jeanie, and wondered how I'd feel by the weekend. All was fine, but I definitely had to be careful and try not to run or move too quickly - instinct and competitiveness kicks in despite a 7 month pregnant belly!

Another semi-regular tradition when Susie is in Nashville is we play doubles tennis with 2 male friends of ours. Usually we play mixed doubles, but for some reason Susie & I teamed up to play against them. It was fine, I really didn't think we'd play too long (Jeanie and I had only hit for 30 minutes on Monday). Susie & Tara together are uber-competitive and so are the guys; I felt good so we played one set (we won 6-4), then started a second set. The weather was pleasant, not too warm, nice breeze. I really didn't think we'd play long, but they were leading 3-1 and so we kept at it and pulled ahead to 5-3. Then we went back and forth until we tied at 6-6 ... tiebreaker time! The men started off well, got a lead of 5-1. Then I served some good points and amazingly we rallied to get to 6-6 and we finished with 8-6.

Final score: 6-4, 7-6. They were slightly bitter - "it really is not fair that the THREE of you beat us." : )

I'm not sure how much tennis I'll play as the weeks progress. I doubt much, but I look forward to the spring league starting in April and doing some clinics in February and March to prepare. It definitely will help with getting back in post-baby shape.

Jai adds: Tara forgot to mention that the story goes that Ethel Kennedy played tennis all nine months of at least one of her pregnancies and this is a reminder Bonnie (Tara's Mom) uses often.