Weight

Weight Watchers - I started it again after my sister's visit and her mention of how much I eat. Even with breastfeeding, I know I take it too far and let myself eat more than necessary. It'd be different if I was exercising like I used to, but I'm not. I haven't been to the Y in weeks! I cannot remember the last time I rode my stationary bike. No sit-ups or push-ups - how am I going to get my Michelle Obama arms? I know I will get my pre-pregnancy body back or a version of it; I'm just impatient and I really want to wear my favorite jeans. : )

Ironically with Julia's weight issues, I wish I could give her some of my calories and fat, especially my back fat. I could exercise more consistently, but I'd rather sleep or watch TV then figure out an exercise routine.

Jai &d I say we're donating to the Y right now. It happens - we'll (mainly me I suspect since that was the norm before Julia) get back there eventually. Also we (read Jai) go to the park some - got to take Johnders to the dog park so he gets exercise, too.

We constantly hear "she's so petite" and many people marvel at her abilities ... they assume Julia's much younger so they are surprised she can sit up or crawl or whatever it is. Then they are amazed when we say how old she is. Julia wears clothes sized 0-12 months, but most are 6-9 months - usually she's about 3 months less than her age. Some babies and children are too big - childhood obesity is a major issue.

However, I wish she weighed 1-3 pounds more than now. My issue I know!
Julia's doctor says that gymnasts, for example, are born with a small shape/frame, they don't start big and then lose weight. Someone has to be smaller and that is definitely Julia. We believe that Julia will be a gymnast.

Luckily she's healthy AND really strong and has not been sick yet. Seriously not one cold or sniffle or cough, no green mucus, NOTHING! Thank goodness for healthy living and breast milk.

Here we go AGAIN!

We went for the weight check last week. Julia weighed 12.8 1/2.

WTF! OMG! What happened?! How is that possible?!

Her doctor wants me to pump and feed her 5-6 oz. in a bottle for all her feedings until the next weight check in a week. Of course, I'm devastated as usual. I hate weight check and Jai forgot and didn't get off work so I had to go alone. Usually I'm a confident, self-assured person, but the weight thing is my albatross. ANNOYING!

After some conversations with Jai, my mom, her friend, Lois (she breastfed her 3 kids), the LLL leader in my local group, and examining our daily feeding & diaper notes (I still keep them mainly because of my sleep-deprived memory loss), we determined the culprit. I have been pumping in the early a.m. because of leaking and also wanting to store milk for the future. However, I wasn't emptying the breasts so they were thinking they didn't need to make as much milk.

I created MORE of a problem!

The irony is that once I stepped back from the 6 month visit and thought about her weight, I realized it was fine. It's Julia, she gains weight in her way. I am grateful for the weight check appt. because we might not have know the impact of the pumping. However, I was getting really and literally tired of waking at 3-4-5am to pump 1-2 hours before Julia woke. I stopped and now I sleep 7-8 hours again and it's much better for everyone.

I decided that I wasn't going to pump her 6 feedings. That's not breastfeeding. I understand the doctor's reasoning. She wants to be able to measure what Julia is drinking and see if she gains weight in a week. You cannot do that with breastfeeding. However, I didn't want to go in that direction, even for a short amount of time. We know Julia will gain weight if we give her milk in a bottle - been there, done that. She's a champ with a bottle, too!

We bought a baby scale. You can rent one for $29/week at A Mother's Place. We got one at Target for $60. We go for well child visits every 3 months from 6, 9, 12, 15, 18 months, on and on. I will go crazier if I have to guess what she weighs in those 3 months. Also instead of measuring what's in a bottle, I can weigh Julia before and after her feedings and see how much she eats. She eats more in the morning (8 ounces) [which is what she wasn't getting for 2 weeks] and less in the evening (3-4 ounces).

AMAZING! I wish I had bought a baby scale 4 months ago. I suspect it would have saved me a ton of heartache and worry. It is worth EVERY dollar - might be best purchase yet. That and the diaper service. : )

Julia weighed 12.13 1/2 yesterday. I plan to weigh her once a week to make sure she continues to gain. We called her doctor to give them an update and cancel the weight check appt. They must love us - we are the rebel parents, doing it our way. However, Julia is healthy. That is what is important.

Pumping - it can be a good thing

See "Free at Last" for early days

In late January we bought the Medela Pump in Style breast pump as recommended by the first lactation consultant. Kind of wish we'd rented a hospital grade pump first to see how it went. Oh, well, live & learn. It enabled me to get some breaks and keep Julia fed ... or so I thought!

Then the weight crisis happened & I used the pump EVERY DAY 6 times a day. Not so much a fan of the breast pump now.

However, it is very helpful to make sure you drain the breast and make more milk, especially needed to supplement the few weeks in February. It was nice to take a break in early March once Julia gained consistently.

Wish I could use it more for opportunities to be away from Julia (I love her, but I need a break sometimes) ... however, it is a double-edged sword. It gives milk to whomever is watching her so she's happy and the adult is happy (hopefully), but unless I have the pump with me, my window of freedom is short (2-3 hours max) as the breasts become full and engorged and uncomfortable. Just writing the word "engorged" seems uncomfortable.

Now I'm creating a stash as I prepare to return to work in a month - try to pump once or twice in the morning when the breasts usually have more milk. I've decided to go back, especially as it is for 4 weeks, it is the end of school year, hopefully a less stressful time. Thankfully my FMLA ends after TCAP testing is finished - YEAH! It has been a long time since I didn't have to deal with TCAP.

Hopefully though once I'm at work, I'll be able to produce enough milk to keep her fed the next day. We will see ...

Before you know it

Much to the relief of Tara (and me - more b/c it is a relief to Tara) Julia weighed in at a whopping 10lb 6oz today. That means Julia has gained the optimal 1 oz/day. WOOOOHOOOO!

Tara adds: she also grew another 1 cm in head circumstance and 1/2 inch in length. She is a big headed, LONG baby! : )

Tara has struggled over this weight gain issue but I confidently and maybe a little naively said everything was fine. It is fine. Julia is eating her way to breast milk bliss!

Tara adds: yes, everything is fine. Thankfully Julia gains ... her way! We've decided that Julia is likely to be a small baby/child in width, maybe tall. She still wears 0-3 months clothes, but some are snug in the crotch/length area. Oh, well, she's cute!

Besides that she can grab her toes and she continues to babble continuously and smile when she catches a glimpse of me or Tara.

We can see it now...

Mr. S, Mrs J. If Julia applied herself to her schoolwork the way she applies herself to talking with friends she would be a "straight A" student.

Thanks to the family and friends who helped us.

Crisis of Weight

Some of you might wonder why things have been so quiet. Well, Tara and I had to tackle our first postpartum crisis. Last month when Julia went for her 2 month checkup she was severely underweight - 1st percentile (.pdf)- which classified her as "failing to thrive". This was despite all the other criteria which said she was fine...length, head circ, mobility, alertness, demeanor.

The doctor suggested that we supplement with EBM. She wanted us to do 3 oz, 3 times a day and come back in a week for a weight check. Tara did that and through the extra feedings and lots of spitup Julia gained half a pound, which proved she could gain the weight. Dr. Robinson suggested we repeat another week. In the mean time Tara got more info and we started feeding Julia smaller supplements more often. Again we did it and Julia gained almost 1/2 lb. We have continued to do this until this weekend. In the last week Julia gained 5 oz which is the low end of the normal range for breastfed babies.

So one her 3rd month birthday Julia weighs 9lbs 7oz. She's still smaller than many but she is gaining weight and as you can see by the previous video and this photo she is bright eyed and bushy tailed.

This post doesn't touch the emotional toll this process is taking on Tara. I have stated for years that she is the stongest person I know and this process has brought her to her knees. DO NOT let anyone fool you, breastfeeding might be natural but it is not easy.

There are all sorts of things you can't factor in and if you've never breastfed before its almost impossible to figure everything out. Believe me when I say that you will most likely be the exception to ever suggestion you get about how to breastfeed. The stories will sound similar to yours but they will not be. My suggestion mirrors what I read on DIY Father this week. Listen to the suggestions but do your own research and follow your gut.

As for me? I'm struggling too but I feel it pales in comparison to Tara. I am attempting to keep everything grounded, not let the frustrations get in the way of us being parents. I am attempting to keep Tara, me and Johnders fed. I am attempting to keep our dog from losing his mind. All the while I am clenching my jaws (Literally. This is how I react to stress.) and powering through.

Thanks to Edgehill UMC, Goodlettsville Middle and other friends for keeping Tara and me fed. Its appreciated more than you know.

Second Trimester - the last few weeks

In general the second trimester has been great. I haven't been as tired as I was during the beginning of the pregnancy, I eat anything and everything, I still can move and sleep comfortably. Even going to the bathroom often hasn't been too inconvenient - I drink water constantly so I was used to frequency. Finally the baby bump appeared, I started wearing maternity pants and tops, new bras were a necessity and people could more confidently determine I was pregnant and not just a little fuller around the middle. : ) During these weeks and months, I first felt flutters that have become more definite movements by him or her.

As I approach the end of 27 weeks and soon will begin the 3rd trimester, I feel HUGE! I know that size is relative and my perception is different from others ("you don't look 6 1/2 months pregnant!"). However, I truly wonder about the increasing size I will become. I'm definitely feeling more tired and I can see the need for those daily naps again. I'm a little slower getting out of bed and off the couch, I go to the bathroom a lot and the heartburn returned! Thankfully this baby is mellow, moves a bit, but no rib strains or elbow jabs like WWF (or WWE as it's now called) ... yet! : ) Thankfully the baby's heartbeat always sounds strong & loud when I visit the midwife. Mellow is good, like Jai's personality, and I hope that bodes well for post-birth also.