Boobies

We had a potluck dinner with some friends tonight.
It was lovely to see everyone & catch up as it had been awhile.
While at their house, I had to feed Jacqueline of course so I sat down in a very comfortable looking chair. Unfortunately it was right near the TV & the kids were watching a program.
I figured distractions were imminent for everyone, especially Miss Jacqueline who is the queen of popping on & off the breast now.
Luckily she was hungry & motivated so it wasn't a problem.
However, one of my friend's sons, D, who is 6 or 7 years old & very friendly & curious which is good, came over to chat with me.
He & his older brother, C, loved playing with Julia as a baby & so of course he loves to see how the new baby is too.
Well, he asks what is she doing; I explain that she's eating.
He pauses, stares at me, then comments "that is gross to eat from your boobies."
I respond that some babies eat food this way & probably he do too.
He shakes his head no & walks away.

So funny!

A Lesson Learned

She lays on the bed and says "Come here, sweeetie." in a mock child voice.

As she pulls up her shirt she explains its time to feed you, let's see if you will latch on. Finally the look of satisfaction as her favorite lays across her chest to feed.

No, this is not Tara feeding Jacqueline. This is the scene of Julia breastfeeding her stuffed bear, Sawyer.

2010 - A New Year in Parenting

So I retired the breast pump on Julia's first birthday.
That was an awesome feeling!

The rest of that week and the next one before Winter Break I still nursed her 2-4 times each day. Before I left for work, when I got home from work and at bedtime, and then sometimes if Julia woke at 1-2am. During the 2 weeks of Winter Break I was home and decided to drop the evening feeding and mostly she slept through the night so I was down to 2 feedings.

Now that it is 2010, I'm really ready to wean Julia for real!

Yesterday I didn't feed her in the morning before I left for work or when I got home. I fed her after dinner, then I went to a 6:30pm Zumba class at the Y while Jai gave her a bath and read book before she went to sleep at 7pm. She slept ALL night and I fed her this morning because I had a vicious knot in my right breast. However, I'm going to feed her at bedtime tonight and not tomorrow morning; eventually my body will adjust.

I think that will be the LAST nursing session to drop - she likes her bedtime one, very comforting. In the morning not nursing is easier because she wakes and gets solid foods.

2009 was the year of breastfeeding Julia & working, but not much else.

2010 is the year of reading books with Julia and getting my body back in lean, mean, fighting shape. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by June and tone some of this flabby flesh! My friend Pauline's wedding on June 13 is a good time frame - 5 months. Then hopefully we're going to tennis camp after the nuptials. : ) I'd like to play in the tennis league this spring also - so I can be ready for camp.

Jai writes about the discoveries and wonders of Julia which makes sense because he is home with her most of the time. I enjoy reading his reflections - I see some of what I miss and am reminded of the funny & interesting things I witness too. Hopefully I will write more about the new phases of parenting Julia as I transition into different roles.

What did you do on your birthday?

Julia had a pretty busy birthday (Dec 9th). The day started as most, food and a nap. After that nap I took Julia to the library to get her library card! Although, I don't expect to use it much for a couple of years, Julia is now an official Nashville Public Library patron.

Then came another milestone. We returned the rented breast pump (see blue box in photo). Tara pumped at work this entire semester as well as last May/June. She breastfed Julia (primary source of nutrition) for 1 full year! I am impressed by and proud of her.

Among some of the gifts Julia got for her birthday is this big ol' car seat. She was busting out of the old one, which is a surprise b/c she's still got a ways to go before she reaches the weight limit but she's long. Tara and I gave her safer passage as a birthday gift. She likes it b/c she is up higher and she isn't cramped.

There are more stories and pictures to come but I wanted to get at least one up.

The Lactivist

Lactation Activist - pretty clever.

That's me. It has been my focus for the past 11 months! I'm slightly obsessed I know. I laughed when I read the word "lactivist" on the back of a book, Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay. It's a perfect term to describe my slightly militant stance on BFing. It's actually a pretty funny book about new motherhood until you realize the author is an alcoholic. The title is a hint obviously!

Anyway, I find that I talk about breastfeeding A LOT. For example, we were at dinner with friends a couple of months ago. Jai put his hand on my leg as I kind of ranted about something related to BFing. However, it is really important ... and here I go again!

That is one of the reasons I enjoy my monthly La Leche League meeting and attend faithfully. It is a supportive environment with women (and their children) committed to BFing. Maybe it makes me feel superior, but mainly I'm proud of my accomplishment. Growing a baby is an amazing feat and feeding a baby is also an incredible ability. I also like to support other women who want to BF their child. Don't get me wrong - I'll be glad to stop this part of my relationship with Julia. I'm looking forward to not having something growing inside of me or attached to me in that way. I need some space! I'm looking forward to doing other activities with Julia - playing with balls and reading to her for example.

I had a funny experience last weekend with a newer mom (11 week old baby). She mentioned how hard BFing is and how it can push you to the edge and you cannot understand if you've never experienced it. I said "yeah, I know it's difficult." It was a weird situation and chalked it up to her new mom hormones, but I wish I had said "I know you've been feeding your baby for 11 weeks and it is hard, but I've been doing it for 11 months."

I know the EDGE. Been there - done that!
: )

Modified Still Insane Daily Schedule

As with everything with a baby, once I get used to a routine, then the baby changes it! : ) That is hard for me, I like consistency, not a fan of change; however, that is my life now.

Actually I started this post in Sept. and finished it in Nov.
Obviously, my life ran away from me! Work will be busy always and when I get home, the same applies. I want to spend time with Julia & Jai, too. She's lots of fun now - really always! Once she goes to bed, then I get ready for the next day.

Now that Julia eats food, we eat dinner together. Occasionally she stares at our food. We speculate that she wonders when she'll get to eat salad and ground turkey. Julia loves her food - banana is still her favorite & soy yogurt. Now she adores oats! I believe oats are my saving grace - she started sleeping 10-11 hours at night recently. She goes to sleep at 7p & wakes around 6:30am. It's quite lovely!

Again some of this is temporary. Pumping at work ends soon. December 8 is the ONE year end zone - my ultimate goal! If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - hopefully 1-2 times a day.

World Breastfeeding Week 2009

This goes out to women like my wife, Tara, who believe breastfeeding is the best way but even more importantly, that women should be informed not marketed to when considering their choice of how to feed their baby.

World Breastfeeding Week 2009 (Aug 1-7, 2009)

This year's theme: A Vital Emergency Response.

• To reinforce the vital role that breastfeeding plays in emergency response worldwide.
• To advocate for active protection and support of breastfeeding before and during emergencies.
• To inform mothers, breastfeeding advocates, communities, health professionals, governments, aid agencies, donors, and the media, about how they can actively support breastfeeding before and during an emergency.
• To mobilize action and promote networking and collaboration between those with breastfeeding management skills and those involved in emergency response.

BFWD

Breastfeeding While Drunk

Jai emailed me an article about a woman arrested in North Dakota. The police were called to her home for a domestic disturbance. She was observed breastfeeding her 6 week old child and appeared drunk. Who knows what really was happening, but I wonder if the police administered a breathalyser.

When we were experiencing the weight crisis, we heard more often than not the suggestion to drink some beer or wine. I haven't had a drink in more than 2 years, before/around the time we started trying to conceive. I'm not a big drinker anyway - started back when I lived in Thailand and alcohol was very expensive - so it is not a big deal.

When you're caring for a baby and you're tired, tense, confused and overwhelmed, a drink is relaxing, can be a little something to take the edge off. Maybe this mother had one drink and it led to another. I'm not excusing her suspected behavior.

However, she was breastfeeding her baby. That is a good thing.

Thunder Storms

This afternoon Julia and I spent some time in our basement, lowest place in our house, with very few windows and lots of concrete to protect us from the elements.

I was getting something to eat (always!) and Julia was sleeping (thankfully) while I listened to the radio (NPR is keeping me aware of current events) and looking outside at the pouring rain. Jai calls and asks if I'm aware of the storm situation. I said yes (sort of) and he said to be ready to go to basement if necessary. I said OK. Continued eating ... then decided the radio wasn't sufficient information so I went to living room to turn on the TV. Still eating, listening mostly though looking at the storm map. Then I heard "Cornelia Fort Airport" and if you're near there to move to your safe place. I thought "that's near us, right?" and looked up and noticed that airport is near Shelby Park. That's near us!

I quickly got up, went to guest room, grabbed the diaper bag, Julia and a blanket, luckily I had my cell phone in my pocket and also had the landline phone. We moved to the basement door and down the stairs.

The basement is pretty clean as far as basements go. We wash our laundry and I ride my bike (used to do that regularly in the mornings). Otherwise it's not a cozy hangout place. I sat on the bike and realized the outside door is in a direct line with bike (I asked Jai to move it later). I unfolded my exercise mat and got a laundry basket and put Julia in it. I got settled on the mat and we watched the TV. Johnders was outside. I didn't have time to get him. Thankfully he was OK.

Then Jai called and we talked about the situation. We need a comfortable chair (maybe we'll move the couch from nursery down there), flashlight (extra batteries), candles (matches) and some food and water.

I usually repack the diaper bag as I unpack it when we get home from an outing. It has a water bottle and a LUNA bar. It works in a short pinch, but you never know how long you might be there.

Then my mom called and she was headed to her basement just in case. Thankfully our phones were working.

Julia needed to eat while we were down there since she'd been asleep for a couple of hours. I waited to change her diaper though! : ) A cool thing about breastfeeding - I could feed Julia - no problem.

Side note about this topic:
At a LLLi meeting someone mentioned the Katrina situation and how women who could breastfeed helped feed other people's children because of the lack of clean water & formula. How awesome! The beautiful thing is the breast keeps making milk as the child drinks it - constantly!

Recently there was the big controversy with the video of Salma Hayek breastfeeding a child someplace in Africa (Factcheck: Sierre Leone). What is the big deal! I wish people would get over issues with breasts - it has many functions.

Before you know it

Much to the relief of Tara (and me - more b/c it is a relief to Tara) Julia weighed in at a whopping 10lb 6oz today. That means Julia has gained the optimal 1 oz/day. WOOOOHOOOO!

Tara adds: she also grew another 1 cm in head circumstance and 1/2 inch in length. She is a big headed, LONG baby! : )

Tara has struggled over this weight gain issue but I confidently and maybe a little naively said everything was fine. It is fine. Julia is eating her way to breast milk bliss!

Tara adds: yes, everything is fine. Thankfully Julia gains ... her way! We've decided that Julia is likely to be a small baby/child in width, maybe tall. She still wears 0-3 months clothes, but some are snug in the crotch/length area. Oh, well, she's cute!

Besides that she can grab her toes and she continues to babble continuously and smile when she catches a glimpse of me or Tara.

We can see it now...

Mr. S, Mrs J. If Julia applied herself to her schoolwork the way she applies herself to talking with friends she would be a "straight A" student.

Thanks to the family and friends who helped us.

All Breastmilk, All the Time

I haven't written much of anything about the weight crisis. It was a hard 6-7 weeks. Almost like you cannot describe, yet everyone with a baby, especially breastfeeding moms, knows some of what you're experiencing.

The regiment/schedule was brutal.
1. Nurse Julia (30-40 minutes - she's slow AND sleepy)
2. Put her in the Pack N Play to entertain herself (usually if I was alone this is what I had to do) while I pumped (15-20 minutes to pump, additional time to clean up materials); hopefully she'd nap sometimes
3. Feed Julia a bottle of expressed breast milk (10-15 minutes)

Then I would need to rest(or eat or shower maybe if lucky) or play with Julia before starting this process over again - every 3 hours!

I hardly watched TV (sometimes when I pumped) or checked my email. I didn't go to the gym or even exercise at home. I didn't leave my house except for La Leche League meetings (twice a month) or weekly weight checks at Julia's doctor (ANXIETY producing!). I always had Julia with me, too, so that meant I got no time alone. That is hard for anyone, especially someone like me who needs exercise and alone time to recharge.

Someone asked me or Jai or my sister or my mom (I got reports from them) why (or when) I didn't use formula. At first that wasn't a consideration - it really didn't occur to me. Breast milk is best for your baby plus it's free (regardless of the time required). Then I started to go crazy - how do you live this life?!?! Formula became an option - almost every day I said "FORGET ABOUT IT, I'm done!" Many times I told Jai "tomorrow you're going to have to get some formula." Me, Tara, the breastfeeding advocate and resident cheapskate. However, when you're tired and no one else but you is feeding that baby, you explore alternatives.

It is all the time. It is my job, everything else can wait (other than food and sleep). Luckily it's temporary as many people tell us - breastfeeding ends, sleep deprivation improves, you have a different routine. My goal used to be feeding to feeding, then it was day to day and week to week, now I try to reach the next month. Right now my long term goal is 6 months and we start solids. Then breast milk won't be her only food. It still is the majority food source, but not only.

I'd like to make it 1 year which is best according to World Health Organization and before you can feed cow's milk even though we don't drink/eat dairy usually. If we make it to December 8, I'll be surprised and elated. I also will be happy to stop. It isn't really my thing. Maybe because it has been a challenging experience, yes, that is part of it. However, like with pregnancy, I could take it or leave it with breastfeeding. I enjoyed most of my pregnancy, didn't have problems, but I'm not a woman who had to be pregnant. Same with breastfeeding. It's a cool process, neat that my body produces food for a baby to eat and all the equipment is attached, ideally you can do it anywhere. Actually legally you can feed your baby anywhere you are allowed to be, public or private. Unless it is someone's private home and they ask you to stop; if that happens, you want to leave their home.

I am envious of women who have mothers who breastfed them. It is a valuable resource; many women my age are part of a "lost" breastfeeding generation. We have heard MANY stories of struggles with the baby weight gain issue too (I suspect those growth charts are created by formula companies) as well as breastfeeding challenges. Luckily more children are getting breast milk, even if in combination with some formula. Hopefully that means more girls will grow up to breastfeed their children and have supportive partners to encourage them.

I'm lucky to have a wonderful partner in Jai & Julia is lucky to have a great dad.

Crisis of Weight

Some of you might wonder why things have been so quiet. Well, Tara and I had to tackle our first postpartum crisis. Last month when Julia went for her 2 month checkup she was severely underweight - 1st percentile (.pdf)- which classified her as "failing to thrive". This was despite all the other criteria which said she was fine...length, head circ, mobility, alertness, demeanor.

The doctor suggested that we supplement with EBM. She wanted us to do 3 oz, 3 times a day and come back in a week for a weight check. Tara did that and through the extra feedings and lots of spitup Julia gained half a pound, which proved she could gain the weight. Dr. Robinson suggested we repeat another week. In the mean time Tara got more info and we started feeding Julia smaller supplements more often. Again we did it and Julia gained almost 1/2 lb. We have continued to do this until this weekend. In the last week Julia gained 5 oz which is the low end of the normal range for breastfed babies.

So one her 3rd month birthday Julia weighs 9lbs 7oz. She's still smaller than many but she is gaining weight and as you can see by the previous video and this photo she is bright eyed and bushy tailed.

This post doesn't touch the emotional toll this process is taking on Tara. I have stated for years that she is the stongest person I know and this process has brought her to her knees. DO NOT let anyone fool you, breastfeeding might be natural but it is not easy.

There are all sorts of things you can't factor in and if you've never breastfed before its almost impossible to figure everything out. Believe me when I say that you will most likely be the exception to ever suggestion you get about how to breastfeed. The stories will sound similar to yours but they will not be. My suggestion mirrors what I read on DIY Father this week. Listen to the suggestions but do your own research and follow your gut.

As for me? I'm struggling too but I feel it pales in comparison to Tara. I am attempting to keep everything grounded, not let the frustrations get in the way of us being parents. I am attempting to keep Tara, me and Johnders fed. I am attempting to keep our dog from losing his mind. All the while I am clenching my jaws (Literally. This is how I react to stress.) and powering through.

Thanks to Edgehill UMC, Goodlettsville Middle and other friends for keeping Tara and me fed. Its appreciated more than you know.

Father-Daughter Talks

Neither Tara nor I have said much recently and its time for that to change. 

Tara and Julia have been on an intense lactation diet for the last 3 weeks (Julia came in very light on her 2 month weigh in, details later). The adults are running on fumes and frayed at the edges Julia is living life to the fullest. She is laughing and smiling and kicking and chattering all the time, I think we are gonna get some notes from the teachers "Julia talks in class", "Julia won't stay in her seat", etc. 

When I last left you I talked about Julia the vampire well during this lactation crisis we have gotten so much information and so many suggestions that Tara's head is swimming and she is uncharacteristically indecisive. Some of which has to do with lack of sleep, some is too much info, and some is Julia the vampire sucking out her Mom's brains and confidence.

Last night Julia and I had the first of what I hope will be many quiet, one-on-one discussions. I felt I needed to explain that she had to help her mother by doing her part of the feeding. She had to try and stop falling asleep on the breast and she had to try and improve her latch. I told her how confident I was in her ability to do this and I explained that without her help an already difficult job (producing and feeding milk) was more difficult when she didn't do her part. Eventhough she didn't seem to pay much attention to me I knew when she smiled that she had understood what I was telling and asking of her.

Things are getting better already but I know now that they will get exponentiallly better.

Birth of a Vampire

I think Julia is sucking Tara out through the nipple. The woman I married has dwindled to a mere shell (she looks like Tara but...) and I have to speculate she is being sucked out of Tara by Julia, the vampiric baby.

The mother of Julia is highly emotional, she cries all the time.
The mother of Julia is indecisive and insecure.
The mother of Julia hasn't turned the TV on in 2 days.
The mother of Julia eats wheat and corn.
The mother of Julia hasn't been to the gym in 10 or so days.
The mother of Julia drinks tea.
The mother of Julia gushes over the baby.

Those who know Tara, or knew Tara, can see that the mother of Julia is not the same woman.

"Jai" has been replaced with...

"Hey, Would You..."

I know, I know. Tara is working her ass off trying to feed this adorable little baby so the least I can do is be errand boy but sometimes it feels insane. She will say "Hey, Would you..." or some variation something like once every 30 seconds.

Free at Last!

Yesterday I was having a hard time, nothing going right, lots of crying.

I wanted to work on pumping in order to give enough breast milk to Bonnie who was going to watch Julia while Jai and I saw a movie after church. On Friday I worked with a postpartum doula, Joni M., (thanks to a wonderful baby shower gift from a co-worker) on using the breast pump & successfully pumped 1 oz. from one breast in only 5 minutes. I naively thought it would be easy to produce more for Sunday's date yet didn't pump anymore that day. We thought Jai could feed Julia (a treat for him!) and see how she'd react to the bottle nipple. No problemo - Julia will get her food however necessary! Of course I had to provide part 2 of J's meal. : ) However, I didn't realize how precious that 1 oz. would be!

Anyway, having a hard time ... didn't know how to feed Julia while storing milk. When do you do it when the baby nurses often?! I don't want Julia to be hungry. She already has these skinny arms & legs that make me call her "baby Gollum."

We (Jai) go to the computer and search the World Wide Web. : )

Despite the helpful information, I only managed to pump 2 oz. in 2 different sessions. Also Julia was very fussy and wouldn't sleep more than 10-15 minutes so that means Tara didn't sleep! At some point I said to myself I need a break. I realized that I had not been ALONE in 30+ days - like completely alone, not just taking a shower or taking a nap, but away! When Jai got back from dog park & grocery store I was going somewhere, anywhere (even though it was nasty & raining outside) for ONE hour.

Jai got home at 4:15pm, I told him the plan, gave him some instructions about Julia's last feeding and diaper change and I left. I drove to Ugly Mugs coffee shop near our house, got a piece of banana bread (yum!) (ironic since I make it all the time!), sat and read my 2 week old copy of EW. Heaven!

When I returned home at 5:30pm, I discovered an empty bottle ... the 2 oz. of pumped breast milk was gone! Jai hadn't heard/listened to my instructions and Julia seemed hungry and he fed her - he was so proud of his accomplishment. I said to Jai "I guess we're taking her to the movie with us ..." Then I went to the bathroom and cried for about 20 minutes! : (

I was so sad - how was I going to produce enough breast milk? I'd read that you have more milk earlier in the day and I struggled to get those 2 oz. However, you know Tara, I'm determined, I want to see a movie!

Jai said he didn't know why I was pumping, didn't remember the connection with the movie date and Bonnie. After talking with Jai about communication : ) and eating some dinner, I tried again & got 1 oz. out of me. This morning I woke early and got another 1.5 oz. before we left for church. Bonnie wanted 6 oz. - yeah, right! She almost got 1/2 of that!

I fed Julia at church and at Bonnie's house before Jai got there. We left at 1:20pm, show time is 1:40pm at Green Hills theater, got there to a long line. However, I had our seats at 1:39pm and saw previews as people continued to stroll into the theater and search frantically for seats. We saw "Slumdog Millionaire" which I think is the best picture of the year. It is awesome! It was fascinating to see scenes of India - almost 15 years since I traveled there though I didn't go to Mumbai (or Bombay as it was known then). However, the stories of poverty haven't changed.

We called Bonnie at 3:50pm. Julia was sound asleep. She'd already eaten the 2.5 oz. - Bonnie paced her : ) - though no need to rush. Actually we got there and visited with Bonnie & LJ, Julia was still asleep and didn't wake until we got home. HUGE success! : )

Bonnie and I have a DATE on Tuesday to see a sneak preview of "Revolutionary Road" (thanks to my Nashville Film Festival membership!). Jai will have the opportunity to watch Julia alone for a few hours ... hopefully I'll be successful at providing him with 6 oz. : )

La Leche League meeting

Today I went to the day LLL meeting in Nashville. I attended an evening meeting in November and really enjoyed my experience with these wonderful women. I was excited to return to a meeting with my baby!

It is encouraging to be surrounded by all these awesome & empowered breastfeeding (and some pregnant as I was at my first meeting) women, an opportunity to share experiences and also get feedback if having issues. The meeting typically includes a training/educational component. The diverse group of women and their children creates such a lovely supportive environment which I really needed this week in my efforts to breastfeed effectively.

As I arrived late (it seems like my new calling card) they were introducing themselves, their child and his/her age and also what you like about breastfeeding. Today's topic was about the basic fundamentals of breastfeeding. I, of course, shared that I like the free aspect of breastfeeding, not necessary to buy formula or deal with bottles. There are many health benefits for both the mother and child. Also the emotional connection to your child builds trust and bonding. There is also the convenient aspect of breastfeeding in terms of readiness whereever you are, again no need for bottles and formula.

Someone mentioned the connection between mothers and daughters who breastfed which I never thought of. Bonnie didn't breastfeed us (she listened to the doctor). However, it seems understandable as it must be very challenging with TWO babies. Having a daughter it makes me excited about Julia breastfeeding her children, possibly a daughter, in the far future!

Another woman mentioned the generational gap - a large portion of a generation who didn't breastfeed. Women (my mother's age) were told that breast feeding was inferior (poor people's food) and formula much more superior. Bonnie is an example of that generation who didn't breastfeed and therefore cannot share that experience with me. She also mentioned the incidence of cancer, so much now, and the possible connection between not breastfeeding, having consequences for both mother and child, especially a female child.

One of my favorites: how the exposure of breastfeeding impacts young children, especially boys. The woman shared about a boy hearing a baby cry and saying "someone needs to nurse this baby." I think of LJ on our first evening home from hospital and how he helped me position a pillow in order to feed Julia. Most 14 year olds might be embarrassed to even know what I was doing, much less assist me.

We are powerful women and we make milk to feed our children!

I think it was the broccoli

Julia & I just finished - I hope we are finished - our first marathon cry session.

She's now sleeping across my lap but she has been crying and her stomach has been gurgling since 10:30. It's 12:10 now.

I'm looking through 2 of my parenting books and one of them talks about colic and mentions broccoli as a bad idea for breastfeeding mothers. Guess what we had for dinner!?!?!

Yep, we had broccoli.

Breastfeeding Basics - Julia is the Best Teacher

In one of my many breastfeeding books, there were some suggestions for "Getting the Best Start" to breastfeeding. We found many of them to be helpful.

1. Natural Childbirth - that didn't happen as planned, hopefully VBAC for future baby #2. I'm a good candidate because of the incision I have and the circumstances for C-section (breech rather than some health related issue).

2. Baby at breast immediately after delivery, skin to skin - it was about an hour after the surgery when Julia & I reunited, luckily Bonnie noticed J was rooting and Soheyl brought her to me immediately and got us started. I have a vague recollection of this moment, thank goodness for the photos, because I was on some happy meds. There was some skin to skin contact as many of you have seen!

3. Room-in - did that, actually the only time Julia went to the nursery was in Jai's presence. A few people suggested we take advantage of the hospital nursery so we get some sleep. This is true; however, sleep deprivation is a reality so why should it be different in the hospital. Plus we wanted to be successful at breastfeeding - more access = more practice.

4. No artificial nipples - We're not planning on using a pacifier if at all possible and definitely not before 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion. During one of the few times Jai was in the nursery with Julia, a baby cried and the nurse put a pacifier in his/her mouth. Another reason to room-in; you have more control of what happens with your baby if she is with you instead of in the nursery.

5. No restriction on length or frequency of feedings - breast milk is easily digested so a breastfed baby might need to eat more often. Letting the baby determine the duration means she gets what she needs too. Plus who couldn't use more practice! : )

6. No supplements of water, sugar water or formula - breast milk has all the baby needs. Also another reason to room-in; you have more control of what happens with your baby if she is with you instead of in the nursery.

7. No free samples of formula! - according to some literature I read there is an initiative developed in collaboration with WHO (World Health Organization) that countries will not circumvent breastfeeding by providing free formula to new families. We received a "free" diaper bag filled with all kinds of baby accessories and coupons, including formula. My stance is if I don't have formula I cannot use it, especially in a dire, desperate situation when I think my baby is starving.

8. Proper positioning and latching - this has been the most challenging part to get right. Julia truly is the best teacher because she knows what to do, latches on and sucks like a powerhouse. Unfortunately the lactation consultant didn't visit us the first day since we apparently had the reputation for breastfeeding so well (she "consulted" with us once on Wed. and once on Thurs. before we discharged for about 5 minutes each visit). Also with the post-surgery drugs I didn't notice some of the nipple pain until I got home. I struggle the most during the night with both darkness (we keep a lamp on most of the night) and sleepiness in terms of being diligent about latch and position. It's getting better every day, but I've been really frustrated and confused and I have great support from Jai AND Bonnie. I really understand how women quit breastfeeding if they don't have support and resources.

Convenience - it truly is a matter of opinion what is most convenient in terms of the breast and the bottle. We had a funny encounter with Jai's godmother, Libby, yesterday where both of us proclaimed to choose the most convenient method and then we both said different answers. Libby said the bottle and Tara said the breast! Libby meant that she could go places without concern - child could be fed by someone else; Tara meant that the breast is always available at the right temperature without a need for equipment as well as the FREE component.

Home soon.

Tara and Julia will be released from the hospital today instead of tomorrow.

As if anyone is surprised, Tara is the star of the post-partum floor. The baby has breast fed some amazing number of times, Tara is healing really well and she has been, in the words of the nursing staff, a self-sufficient patient.

Wooohoo!

Uh-oh, we've got a baby.