Pumping Isn't Easy

The idea for this post came from reading a post on Blacktating blog, one of my favorite & few blogs that I read (not even once a week!). However, now I cannot remember exactly what it was (it's now July when I'm actually writing this message!). I know I'm back at work a few weeks & I'm pumping 3 times a day, getting plenty of milk, at least 3 ounces each session, sometimes more, for a daily total usually of about 10-11 ounces, sometimes more (I started getting less some days by the end of May). The post was about how the author struggled to get much milk when she pumped & other women have similar struggle to express milk using a pump. There was a photo to illustrate how much the author got from pumping after 30 minutes - it looked like maybe 1 ounce. How frustrating that is for many reasons, 1 you know you need to feed your baby something tomorrow & 2 you need to empty to breasts in order to make more milk & the downward spiral (emotional & physical) created when you don't.

Luckily that has not been my issue, I usually get a decent amount of milk. Also when I didn't get enough at work (with Julia) I pumped extra sessions in am before work & pm before bed. Ironically with Jacqueline, I started pumping in late January & have a good freezer stash (over 120 ounces). My dilemma is using the freezer stash appropriately before it expires & protecting my current breast milk supply & communicating with Jai to make sure that happens correctly. I don't want Jacqueline to have less than she needs, but babies can overeat with bottle feeding. I also don't want to pump extra to make my daily total "right" when I have a freezer full of breast milk - seems so silly & complicated for the simple process of breastfeeding a baby. Yet when the pump enters the picture it's no longer a simple "feed on demand" - the pump is not natural & it creates a different dynamic with your body.

I am grateful to have been home on maternity leave for 13 weeks (1/2 paid, I wish all!) & only have to pump 7 weeks before summer break. Then I have 8 weeks at home to breastfeed Jacqueline, pump a little to store about 2 weeks before returning to work on July 24. Also she will be an older baby & maybe starting solid foods soon. I'll have 10 weeks of pumping before Fall Break & then about 8 more weeks to pump before Winter Break. After that 2 weeks vacation, we return to work on Jan. 7, 2013 & Jacqueline will be 1 on January 11. A year flies by & then I'll move on to feeding her at home only.

Lots of women pump for 10 months with no breaks like I have. If I have to go to the freezer stash more often & pump in the evening, I will. I want Jacqueline to have only breast milk so I'm willing to do the extra work. I just hope I won't! : )

Pumping Countdown

I have less than a month left!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOO HOO!!!

2 full weeks of work, then 2 days of Thanksgiving Break week, then 2 days of Julia's birthday week.

I cannot wait to retire that pump!

Ironically the rental pump is due to be returned on December 9. So appropriate!!
The home pump is getting put away, too!
: )

Modified Still Insane Daily Schedule

As with everything with a baby, once I get used to a routine, then the baby changes it! : ) That is hard for me, I like consistency, not a fan of change; however, that is my life now.

Actually I started this post in Sept. and finished it in Nov.
Obviously, my life ran away from me! Work will be busy always and when I get home, the same applies. I want to spend time with Julia & Jai, too. She's lots of fun now - really always! Once she goes to bed, then I get ready for the next day.

Now that Julia eats food, we eat dinner together. Occasionally she stares at our food. We speculate that she wonders when she'll get to eat salad and ground turkey. Julia loves her food - banana is still her favorite & soy yogurt. Now she adores oats! I believe oats are my saving grace - she started sleeping 10-11 hours at night recently. She goes to sleep at 7p & wakes around 6:30am. It's quite lovely!

Again some of this is temporary. Pumping at work ends soon. December 8 is the ONE year end zone - my ultimate goal! If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - hopefully 1-2 times a day.

My Insane Daily Schedule

5am wake, change Julia's diaper, feed her
5:45am get Julia to sleep for a.m. nap so Jai can sleep longer (hopefully)
6am pump session # 1- get an extra ounce for Julia's bottle
6:25 exercise - ride my stationary bike for at least 15 minutes, 10-15 push ups (these arms are FLABBY!)
6:45am breakfast prep, pack up pumping gear (drying from cleaning night before)
7:00am shower & dress
7:30am eat breakfast, put lunch in bag
7:45am out the door, drive to work, drink Mother's Milk Tea

8:30am-4:00pm are my work hours

8:00am pump # 2 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
10:30am pump # 3 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
11:00-12:30pm eat a snack, later eat lunch at desk
1:00pm pump # 4 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
3:30pm pump # 5 - usually get the most (3 ounces)

I get some work done in the intervals between pumping sessions, but it's challenging, especially because interruptions are the norm in a school.

Sidebar: I am without clerical support until Aug. 11 and new student registration is Aug. 3-7. My principal assigns that responsibility to Guidance (i.e. me) as well as make schedules for all the students. Despite the fact that she and the school secretary are there all summer and could work on schedules and students could get a copy way before school starts. I'm definitely tired of how middle schools staff Guidance support and counselors. I am the only counselor this year for 470 students! Basically I am a highly paid clerical person who does some counseling work. High schools get tons of clerical support and in elementary schools the counselors have much more counseling interactions with students. I've done my time in high school; I think it is time to move to elementary.

4:00pm pack up stuff, leave for home

4:30pm say hi, hugs & kisses to Jai & Julia - so glad to see them!
go to bathroom, unpack bags (sometimes Jai does it), wash & sterilize pumping gear (those Medela micro-steam bags are awesome!)
5:00pm change Julia's diaper, feed her
5:40pm hope to get Julia to sleep for a little nap
6:00pm Jai & I eat dinner & visit together
anytime between 7:00-7:45pm change Julia to PJ's, change diaper, feed her
after 8:00pm make sure lunch & breakfast prep is done, make cup of Mother's Milk tea, shower
by 9:00pm in bed, write in Grateful journal, read book for 5-10 minutes before falling asleep
at or before 9:00pm lights off

Weekend schedule is all breastfeeding. I plan to pump after 1-3 feedings in order to increase supply. We rented a hospital-grade pump again, this time so I have it at work to get the most milk out of me and to decrease the back & forth of carrying my pump every day. Tedious!

I pumped about 7 ounces on Monday; I pumped 11 ounces today. It's getting there.
We try to give her 14-15 ounces in 3 bottles. I don't think she drinks that much in those 3 daytime feedings from me, but we don't want her to lose weight, she's already light.
I'd like to get 13-14 ounces in 3-4 pumpings instead of 5. Until that happens we've been using stored milk in the freezer. If I pump less than 11 ounces a day, we'll run through the frozen stash by the end of August. However, with the post-feeding pumping, More Milk Plus herbal supplement 4 times a day, Mother's Milk tea twice a day, eating right and lots of rest, we've seen an increase in my milk supply this week. Ironically when Julia started sleeping through the night, my milk supply steadily declined in addition to the damage I did in June with my creative pumping. We're going to start solids in August - tomorrow! Come on high calorie bananas and avocados!

Luckily this is temporary - December 8 is ONE year which is my ultimate goal! At least that is when I'll stop pumping at work with this zeal. If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - that will still be 3-4 times a day, more on weekends.

Right now I don't do much else. I sometimes watch TV while I pump, but usually I don't; sometimes I look at the Internet. I miss my TV shows - I'm addicted to TV. However, usually I try to focus on being positive while I pump and think about Julia and making milk for her.

In a way I am glad to be back at work and I know Jai is happy to be home with Julia. I miss her more than I did in May which surprised me. Jai is wonderful with her, they have a great time together and I am greeted with Julia's beautiful smile each afternoon and stories of her daily adventures (Example A: Spiderwoman photo). Jai cooks dinner, makes my lunch and usually helps make my breakfast. When I was home and Jai worked at NPL, sometimes I made dinner, sometimes made his lunch [usually dinner leftovers, but he also could go out in a pinch though we try not to for economic reasons; I cannot go out for lunch (pumping!)] and sometimes I made his breakfast. I don't know who's getting the better deal.

We both are because we're Julia's parents! : )

Back Home

I didn't write ANYTHING after that first day back to work. Once the euphoria of freedom evaporated into a cloud of exhaustion, I don't have time to write blog posts. I wake early to get everything ready for work, feed Julia and myself, then I'm out the door, usually early which has been refreshing for my co-workers. As soon as the work day is complete, meaning the school bell has rung and kids dismissed for the buses, my stuff is packed and I head home.

Once home I'm excited to see Jai and Julia, but the work continues. I clean pumping gear, take a shower, feed Julia, eat dinner, visit with Jai, feed Julia again, and get ready for bed (all from 5-9pm). Once Julia started sleeping consistently throughout the night (about first week in May) I get more constant, longer stretches of sleep and I feel much better and stronger. Still exhausted, but people tell us that will be the case for a few years.

I am glad to be home, I was ready for the school year to end. 4 weeks was a good amount of time to "test the waters," see how pumping went, see how Julia & Jai did, give Tara a break from 10 hours/day in baby world.

After being home ONE day and Julia didn't nap well AT ALL, I greeted Jai at the door with my car keys and purse and said "see you later." I left Julia in the bouncy seat in the hall. I went to the grocery store, we needed food, but I needed a BREAK! Already! : )

Luckily like most adjustments, I know I'll get there. I'm glad to not be pumping 3 times a day - that's stressful. It actually made me appreciate the art & beauty & simplicity of breastfeeding. Pumping is necessary when we're apart, but otherwise I don't want to do it. The next 8 weeks will fly by and I know Julia & I will have a great time together. We usually do.

I suspect I'll be ready to go back to work, too! : )