A girl & her harmonica

One of our friends from church, actually my co-worker's husband, gave me a harmonica the other day - for Julia I assumed! : ) We're not into gifts for Christmas anymore & we'd done some of her birthday gifts over the last few weeks (from Uncles Mike & Chad, from Grandma Bonnie, from us). Also she'd gotten her Christmas/birthday gifts from Angel & Dawn last weekend plus the NEW bed so I didn't want to make a big deal about another present. I had a small stocking from gift from A&D so I put the harmonica in it, 1 to hide it from sight, 2 to be able to present the "gift" on Christmas. When I gave it Julia, she was so excited & curious. Jai showed her how to use it, basic instructions, then she played it for hours (it seems like it!). However, it wasn't annoying, it's adorable! Julia is actually quite good. Then today she picks it up again & starts playing some more. It's hilarious yet it sounds really good! She has my beauty & Jai's musical ear. Well, I played the flute in school band for 7 years so I contributed some talent, too. : )

A big girl bed arrives in time for Christmas

It was delivered this morning! So exciting! I think I'm more excited than anyone. I don't know why, but it seems so great! Julia has a twin sized bed with mattress, foundation, 2 sheets, 2 pillows & a comforter. : )

We ordered it 3 weeks ago from Nature's Greenlife (http://www.naturesgreenlife.com/) after some deliberation, looking on the Internet, & eventually met with Debby at the store/studio to see some of the merchandise. Then there was more deliberation/changes as we originally selected a full size organic cotton mattress as we have a full frame. However, we decided the nursery is too small a space for that & we will have 2 children so twin beds make more sense. Since we're spending a bit of money for this purchase, really important investment, we wanted it to be right. We changed to a twin sized organic wool mattress/foundation which is better for dust mites & allergies.  It also meant it took more time as it was being custom built & coming from Canada.

We weren't sure if we'd get it before Christmas & we really wanted it sooner than later anyway so Julia could get used to it with plenty of time before baby arrives. Luckily Debby liked us a lot & checked in with the company frequently & got it expedited through customs (I didn't think about that!) to be here today. Also her husband helped bring it to us AND inside the house & upstairs to the room AND helped Jai (and Julia too) set it up. Apparently he doesn't usually do that. How nice! They are really nice & I've already referred 2 friends to their website, 1 with a baby on the way, 1 with a 3 year old to get a big bed.

After we changed bed sizes, we had the dilemma of finding a new frame. Initially I was disappointed as that meant MORE money, but thankfully Jai is quite savvy in the world of Freecycle & Craig's List.  He posted a request on Freecycle & almost before I could blink, someone responded with info that they had TWO matching wood frames (what we wanted). The person had been about to take them to Salvation Army. She sent photos & they looked awesome! We said we wanted them & arranged the pick up/delivery. Then she said she'd bring them to us & she didn't even live close to us, I think Jai said Antioch. Amazing! I guess she was motivated to get them out of her garage. : ) Now we have a second frame for the second kid, to use in 2 years. Woo hoo!

We made the bed with her new jersey knit organic cotton sheets (so soft!), a fitted sheet AND a flat sheet. So grown up! Also finally used the Dora comforter I bought at a consignment sale in November. Julia loves Dora & Boots! She actually has had the pillow since late November when we placed the order (Debby gave us a "free" wool pillow). The wool is good for resistance against dust mites as well as good for hot sleepers which Julia (and Jai) is. I got a 2nd wool pillow from Gaiam (having a great sale!), mainly for us to use when we're in the bed, reading at bedtime.

Oh, I wish we'd done this MONTHS ago! It's been so uncomfortable on the floor, especially as I got bigger & bigger. I don't have bedtime duty until Sunday, but it will be so NICE to sit on that bed & read with Julia. We took a few photos to capture the moment as Julia got ready for bed this evening. FUN!!! : )

36 week visit

Today was a day filled with lots of pregnancy related activities. My friend, Jessie, & I are due 3 weeks apart & since it is Winter Break, we decided to get together for some pregnancy time.

First we went to the La Leche League meeting in East Nashville that meets on the third Wednesday mornings which usually we cannot attend, but this one was perfect timing. It was great to see some familiar faces, women who were very helpful & supportive when Julia was small & we were struggling to get breastfeeding to work. I really enjoyed listening & sharing experiences & feeling so comfortable & confident about this next adventure in parenting a baby. Jai had a dentist appointment & regular play date wasn't happening because Sam was sick so I had Julia with me. Actually I'm glad she was there to be around the babies & see breastfeeding. I'm sure she's going to be so curious when her baby is eating. She already talks about feeding the baby & we explain that won't happen for awhile. Julia played well on the rug with the plethora of toys & books available; she insisted that I come with her which I did awkwardly. : ) There was another mom & young baby on the floor too; the baby was 6 months old. Julia kept saying "No" to him & "He's taking my toys" which is not what he was doing. Mostly he was smiling & giggling at her, saying hello in his way. I anticipate some interesting struggles with possessiveness for belongings & parents.

We dropped off Julia at home for her lunch & nap with Jai home now. Then we headed to the West End area & grabbed some lunch & talked about our various pregnancy ailments. I will be SO grateful to not have this vicious heartburn/indigestion. It's awful! I feel like it's worse than last time & definitely lasted longer! Jessie fortunately hasn't had any issues with HB. We talked about the different kind of stomach acid that exists for us as we're different blood types. Interestingly I don't have issues when I'm not pregnant. Lunch was yummy, this place called Taiziki's, I'd never been there. I had a lamb gyro with rice & tomato/cucumber/feta salad. Hmmm!

After lunch we headed to A Mother's Place which is at Centennial Women's Hospital. We really were stretched for time & should have gone after our midwife appointments. I naively thought we'd be able to manage, but traffic was crazy at this time of day. We were late, but it was OK. Anyway, AMP is a lactation support center that includes a shop to purchase items related to breastfeeding. I went there a few times when Julia was 2-3 months old to get assistance with her weight gain issues & increasing my milk supply. The staff is wonderful, same woman who helped me is still there, so passionate & supportive of making breastfeeding work. It was great to see her. We got measured to find out what size nursing bra we need. We tried on a few styles & purchased some. I only got 1 as I have a few at home & since I'm smaller in general, the consultant reminded me that I'll get much bigger once my milk comes in postpartum. I remember that!! : )

Then to West End Women's Health Center for midwife appointment. I gained a few pounds in 4 weeks, but I've eaten more sweets & junk in last 2 weeks. UGH! The season of eating! I asked the midwife about cutting the cord after it stops pulsing - I got an explanation of the 2 minutes rule. Not sure I completely understand. I also asked about placenta encapsulate (supposed to help with postpartum depression). I heard about these 2 items at LLL meeting so I'm curious to find out more information. Thank goodness for the Internet.

My blood pressure was low again so excellent. Baby's heartbeat was much higher. This gender stuff is confusing! Who knows until she or he is born. Julia continues to refer to having a baby brother. Everyone says I'm carrying like it's a boy. However, we shall see when the time arrives.

Now I will go every week until delivery & I had already made all of my appointments (surprise, surprise!) so until next week.

The roof, the roof is on ... New Roof is ON!

After many months of waiting, first because of the hot summer, then roofers' busy schedule, it was inclement weather whenever it seemed to be our time, that seemed to delay us getting a new roof. However, finally it happened & it's so pretty. It came with quite a price tag (thank goodness for an equity line), but it looks beautiful. Jai picked out the slates as that is one thing I didn't care about nor have the energy. He did a great job - sometimes he's really good at the aesthetics stuff. He's been called a metro sexual (not sure if that term is used anymore) a few times.

Jai says we shouldn't need another roof until the kids are in college or maybe out of college. That will be nice! The next project will be to paint the water stains caused by the old roof (this has been years actually). However, that will be for later in 2012 or 2013 as we'll be busy with the baby.

Julia's 3rd Birthday

We celebrated with a family dinner with Grandma Bonnie & Poppy. Then we ate her traditional applesauce cake made by mom, & ice cream, Julia's new favorite (quick 2nd is Popsicles, but I need to make more). Also she opened a few presents which she really enjoyed this year!

What a great kid Julia is! Thanks for 3 wonderful years of fun & laughter! Looking forward to many more!

Phone call for daddy

Julia, what else are you doing today? I repeated the question.

I'm going to take a nap. Julia finally answered.

That's a good thing, taking a nap. I said.

Thank you, daddy.

Sleep well, Julia.

Thank you, daddy. She rushed over my words.

That's a pleasant phone call.

Thanksgiving Fun & Blessings

It was so nice to have the day off with both Jai & Julia, us all home together, no work, no school, no plans in the morning. I'd done holiday cooking preparation already - our contribution was ice cream. I made a few different kinds during the weekend. We had a leisurely day of homemade pancakes. Julia took her nap, then we headed to my mom's for appetizers, soup, then dinner. Lots of yummy food, different people had made. It's a fun tradition that my mom started a few years ago so she doesn't have prepare tons of dishes. Thankful for family & friends!

32 week visit

I wish I could remember what I was going to write about this visit to see midwife.
I didn't gain any weight from the past 5 weeks which is a miracle. Thank goodness!
I talked with the midwife about next visit which is for the Group B strep test - I forget what it does, something that is important to know if you have before delivery because of treatment so baby doesn't get the virus. I wonder if it's an issue for baby delivered by C-section, but I didn't plan for that last time & this time the goal is a VBAC. I didn't have the virus last pregnancy thankfully. My blood pressure is excellent even with the weight gain this pregnancy. Baby's heartbeat is low which people say means it is a boy. All is good!
Another 4 weeks to 36 weeks & then I'll go EVERY week until the end. How time has passed quickly though I will not be sad to say goodbye to the heartburn.

Childbirth classes

UGH! Once again I have an old post with only the title to remind me of what I might have wanted to write.
Well, here goes with trying to remember from a month ago! : )

We took a child birth class series at General Hospital on 4 Monday evenings in November (we missed 1 class because of family illnesses). Even though we plan to have the baby at Vanderbilt Hospital as that is where the midwifery center delivers babies, the class was free (not the case at Vandy) & Jai was born at General so it was neat to have some connection there.

Though we have had a child it was a great experience. We knew a lot of information already from reading & of course, Julia's birth. However, we learned some, clarified some, reminded of lots; it was a good refresher kind of course. We also received a beautiful knitted blanket to add to our collection of lovely hand made works of art & love.

Grilled Cheeserie

YUMMY! The food truck was at the West Nashville Farmer's Market yesterday & we hadn't eaten there in FOREVER. So glad we ventured out so far! We got lots of great green veggies, some meat, goat cheese of course, finally found some APPLES & the raw food. Then we snacked on a grilled cheese sandwich, tater tots (Jai & Julia shared) & the special dessert of vanilla bean/pumpkin pudding. It was a beautiful day to be outside, sunny, slightly windy, gorgeous weather.

Raw Food

I'm not really a fan. I like meats, eggs & cheese too much to be a vegetarian, much less a vegan. We try to buy/eat less meat to decrease our carbon footprint & definitely buy local products whenever possible. However, we still cook our food.  Today I got some amazing food from The Raw Warrior at the West Nashville Farmer's Market. I've actually sampled some of their wares when we'd stop by their table at the East Nashville Farmer's Market. It never tasted that great, not bad, just not good enough for me to purchase it.  Today was another story. It was spinach almond hummus & cilantro lime flax seed crackers. The garlic & spices also must be a big part of the overall taste sensation. Whatever it is the snacks are yummy!

Colds are Cruel during Pregnancy

That's all I want to say. It's not right!

Imagination Peaking

Julia has been very verbal from the moment she became verbal. Her vocabulary and grammar is pretty amazing; picking up on the things we say, filling in gaps and so on. Recently she's gone off the rails with imaginary language. Sometimes Julia will talk for 20 minutes straight in her own imaginary language. Its a verbal vomit. She starts talking about something and then it transforms into this gibberish.It sounds like she is pronouncing sets of jumbled letters yet it sounds like words. Its mind-boggling to hear, especially her extended monologues.

Side note. One of my fav radio shows just did a very interesting show on language development

Then comes the imaginary play, this is obvious stuff. She mimics what she sees. She feeds and reads to her "friends". She plays games and she tells them stories. In that spectrum is drawing where she puts a dot on a page and says she's drawing a tree or a smiley face. Today it finally took that twist we all dread to hear...

Julia, why did you drop the book? I asked.
Daddy I didn't do it, Bunny did. She answered.

Great! She now has accomplices.

Also...

Julia quote of the day: Do you want your penis in your mail? (I can put this is context if you wish but it stands on its own)

Old McDonald's

That's what Julia says about the yellow arches. Cute!

Other than that, she doesn't know about this place. Sometimes I'm sad for her missing out on some memories & experiences I associate with childhood like Twinkies, Tang, McD's fish sandwich & milk shakes. However, not that Julia's in any danger for childhood obesity, it is a real situation for many young people. The statistics are scary. Thankfully she understands or at least repeats what we say about it being unhealthy.

Also her normal is very different. She's growing up with Farmer's Market & CSA. She knows what sweet potatoes & okra are as well as kale, garlic & onions. Julia is unique compared to some of her peers, but then there are others who are living a similar way.  Everyone packs a lunch at the Parent Day Out program she attends; snack is provided. However, we bring her snack also. We don't want her eating goldfish & vanilla wafers every day when she likes pretzels & trail mix. Sometimes Jai doesn't want her to be different, but I'm used to it. It's OK for her to learn to be herself now when she's not self conscious about it.  When she has her own money & wants to buy "junk food," we'll see what happens. I wonder if she'll want to by that point.

Blueberries for Sal

This is the book Julia got from Imagination Library yesterday.

Jai & Julia told me she got a new book, but I forgot to ask what it was or look at it. I usually do when I get home from work as I'm excited when it arrives in the mail. However, it was Friday & I was really tired! Growing this baby is exhausting!

This morning walking home from the Y with Julia, we were talking about her new book & I asked her what it was. She said Blueberries for Sal very clearly, no hesitation. Of course I was impressed which I usually am with her verbal skills in general, but she just got this book. Maybe it's not signficant, but it seems amazing to me that she said the title so quickly & easily. Actually her memory is incredible so maybe it's not that earth shattering.

However, more importantly I loved this book as a child! I'm so excited to be able to read it with her as I was so happy when my mom gave Julia "Bread and Jam for Frances" for Mother's Day in May, another favorite of mine.

I'm so grateful & blessed that my child loves reading as much as I do. I'm sure we'll have many opportunities to bond over something, but I'm glad one experience is the wonders of reading wonderful books!

oh, the funny things kids say!

The reality is that children say what they hear from others, in particular parents or their consistent caregivers. Lately I am saying the word "crap" too much, mainly frustration with some toilet training lapses/accidents!
Now it is a favorite phrase of a little girl in our house.

Actually Julia proves my hypothesis constantly. Once again it happened recently. I really need to watch what I say!

Julia has a weekly play date with our friends' child, Sam. I'm sure we've mentioned his name or my friend, Anne Marie, in other posts. Anyway, this week they played at our house (they rotate every other week so each parent gets a mini-break for a few hours). It was a nice day so they played outside; at some point they watched some construction work being done across the street & Jai said that the worker talked with them. I jokingly said something like "I wonder what he thought of this black man with a black kid & a white kid." It's stupid, I don't usually make comments about race distinctions, it's not important.

Anyway, Julia quickly says the following:

• Who's the white kid?!
• Am I the white kid?!
• No, Sam's the white kid!

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I did. I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop, Jai is chuckling too. Of course Julia is a great social laugher so she starts laughing; we're all tickled! You also have to imagine her hand motions too - she touches her chest when she asks the 2nd question.

What is typical is the topic of conversation moves on to something else quickly, but I wonder why she knew Sam was the white kid. She knows colors, probably that's it. However, I'm having a moment of guilty conscience & contributing to my child's racial identity, creating some kind of bias. This won't be the first time of discomfort at something I've said to her or someone else, but I still wish I didn't say what I think sometimes.

Self-determination

Three year olds are obviously short versions of the adults they will become.

Julia has expressed herself really well since she was much smaller but today she took it one step further. She said she was hungry (mid-morning snack) and I was apparantly taking too long so without announcement or warning she runs off. About 20 secs later she reappears and says in a very matter-of-fact, matter-of-course way, "Dad, I was in the pantry." "I want rice cake and almond butter." Then she sat back down and continued what she was doing.

It's all very normal, but it's quite amazing to watch up close.

Addition from Tara on 11-5-11:
Today Julia did the same thing with the juice. She took it from the fridge & came back to tell me it was on the counter, again after she'd already asked for it & waited patiently for me to respond & I was taking too long.
She's resourceful & communicative! Kind of like someone else I know! : )

Active Baby S.

midwife visit on 10-28-11 - week 28

First of all, I almost passed out when I saw the scale! I gained 10 pounds in 5 weeks. That's not good!

I decided to stop eating the junk food (there is always something yummy at work!!). Pregnancy is really no excuse to eat everything in sight, especially when it's off my blood type (I really hurt myself when that happens). I also need to get back to my exercise routine which is a proven element of my blood type weight management success.

It is a vicious cycle of being "too tired."
I don't get up in the morning & go to Y.
When I eat something unhealthy day after day, I feel more sluggish.
Then I also am going to bed late.
I'm already sleeping in spots - frequent bathroom visits.
That equals weight gain. 
Bad combination of events!

The good thing is I can do it; already I can tell I feel better & lost a few pounds. I've gained 25 pounds & I really don't want to pass 35. I want to keep it similar to last time.

I signed the release form about the gestational diabetes glucose test - midwife (Linda) was cool about it, no pressure. She wasn't as concerned as me about the weight gain either - "it's not so bad." My blood pressure is 110/70 - usually good like that. I measured 29 weeks she said, not 28 weeks & 2 days. Again not much concern, maybe this baby will be bigger than Julia was, probably because I've gained more weight! : )

OK- topic related to post title!
Linda mentioned now I need to be counting the baby's movements, making sure it's frequent. I assured her that there is no problem in that area! This baby is much more active than Julia was ... or so I thought. Linda said something about having an anterior placenta last pregnancy & I said yes. The placenta then acts like a pillow & muffles the baby's movements. So I thought Julia was this mellow, relaxed fetus which didn't match her postpartum personality. That's kind of a relief.

Yet I wonder if that also means it decreased the intensity of the labor contractions I felt.  This also delayed going to hospital plus my ignorance that I needed to wait for water to break despite the frequency & duration of the contractions! I'm slightly nervous that the contractions this time will be much more intense - already I'm having lots of something like Braxton-Hicks, pressure that seems different from the baby moving/kicking. It also makes me feel like I have to go to the bathroom much more often. Don't need that - it's already too much!

Hopefully I'll be able to manage the real labor contractions. After the heinous heartburn since month 6, I feel like I can handle it, but I still wonder! Regardless this baby's nickname is Kicky McS. : )

Fall Break 2011

week 27 - 3rd trimester - nesting insanity!
You should see the list I've made of stuff to complete in next 3 months. Crazy!

Some of it is necesssary as we'll use it immediately once baby is born.

1. clean the infant car seat & crib
2. make sure we have the other infant stuff pulled out of storage
3. contact Smile Mommy! to set up cloth diaper service again

Some of it doesn't have to be done, it's more of a goal.

• green couch cleaned (it is SO nasty!)
• house cleaned by professionals (it really needs a thorough cleaning that won't happen again for another 3-4 years!)
• cook meals to store in freezer

I got a ton done - play date with friends with similar age kids, personal & medical appointments, visited a college friend in Memphis with Julia (Jai stayed home with a cold with Johnders who has heartworms so cannot be boarded), submitted my expired passport for renewal, paid property taxes (due in February 2012). However, I was exhausted!

I remember this crazed feeling of wanting to get so much done 3 years ago. I also was way too busy outside of work/home with church activities, socializing with friends, volunteering. I don't do as much as I used to, but I still have a full calendar most weeks. I decided not to do more than 1 activity each week. The only exception is if it's an exercise date with a friend at the Y during time when child care is available. I have to manage my weight gain - it's already more than last time & I have WEEKS to go!

I told Jai to help me do less. Sometimes that means he has to do more. : )

Baby # 2

We're having another baby due in January 2012. 

We were slow to tell people again (14-15 weeks), this time we haven't even sent a mass email, just word of mouth. We're excited & happy, but tired usually, so don't think about it.  Once again the gender is unknown as we like the surprise. We're working with same midwifery center affiliated with Vanderbilt Hospital; actually our primary midwife is Soheyl again which is super cool as she was the person on duty when we went into labor with Julia. We're planning on attempting a VBAC with high hopes for a successful delivery & not a repeat C-section.

All is well with the pregnancy, I'm just so tired, more than I remember last time, but that's because I have a little person to hang out with when I come home from work. Little time to rest as I did often while pregnant with Julia. : ) We're not doing any of the interventions/tests - only did the ultrasound at 20 weeks which was cool, made everything seem more real.  Even though I'm 41 I'm a healthy person & don't feel like it's necessary to spend time & money on tests. Once again I got an interesting response from the midwife when I went for my last appointment & we discussed my next visit at 28 weeks (Oct. 26) for the glucose test. I said I wasn't going to do it. I know I wrote a post in 2008 about a similar conversation with them about refusing the test. Most people must do it even those women who have a midwife as their medical provider.

Anyway, this baby is definitely different in utero, much more active & busy, especially when I'm trying to rest or sleep. Julia was way more mellow inside, compared to outside now! : ) I am really curious to meet this individual, male or female; I know they will be different babies & children. Hopefully I won't compare them too much which I know is difficult. I also am trying to be more excited, but it is second time & I'm not really into being pregnant. I hate the constant bathroom visits & heartburn discomfort, both of which started WAY earlier this time! : ( I'm sure this baby will have lots of hair too which I don't need heartburn to tell me! However, I'm excited & curious about breastfeeding despite that constant work of feeding a baby & of course sleep deprivation. I'm hopeful that this time we'll have more success earlier with breastfeeding, with fewer complications & issues. At least one of us will have some experience & lots of support from La Leche League & other friends. : )

Congratulations as Julia likes to say when she uses the toilet. So funny!

Potty Training Success

Finally it happened! For the past 2 1/2 months Julia has been honing her skills on the toilet. Gradually she started wearing underwear during the day instead of the potty pants or even the commando look which she LOVES almost as much as underwear! About 6 weeks ago she started to wear underwear all the time & improved on her ability to get to the toilet & pull down pants & underwear with fewer & fewer accidents.  The past 2 weeks there have been hardly any accidents. The cutest part is how excited Julia is to pee & poop in the toilet on her own. Sometimes she still needs assistance & she occasionally gets busy & forgets to get to the toilet on time. However, Julia is definitely becoming more independent & grown up, as she soon approaches her 3rd birthday which she knows is Dec. 9. AMAZING!

As her parents, we're excited to have a few months' reprieve from diapers (she still wears 1 at nap & bedtime, but often it is dry when she wakes up, even at night) before the next kid arrives in January. Our budget will enjoy the break too! : )

Do(e), is Missy Outside?!?

Dorice Josephine Glascoe Wright, E.D. 

Dorice fought it but ultimately, cancer won. I saw Dorice less frequently than almost all of my cousins. She and her brother are longtime Northeasterners, Dorice in the Boston area and her brother, Lewis, in New York which are places very far away from me. Not until I started going to family reunions as an adult did I have any significant contact with either of them and at that point it was only every two years until Dorice and I exchanged email addresses. At that point we started to write quite a bit.

My most recent memories are that Dorice was my family's most diligent but disorganized family historian. She knew the people and places of family long gone but her document archives were scatter-shot at best - it really is a family trait. This info was to be included in her perpetually under-construction and unpublished memoir. We talked about family and genealogy and we talked lots about jazz. She was clued into parts of the Boston music scene I never was familiar with but she spoke with intimacy and enthusiasm.

The memory that stands out the most is a story passed down to me from my own personal history. A story that sounds probable but one that took place when I was so young that I don't remember it. Dorice came to Nashville to visit my mother and me and at some point while staying with us I exclaimed - in a voice I have learned from Julia that only two or three year olds can muster - Do, is Missy outside? Why such a simple phrase stuck like it did I couldn't understand until Julia started blurting out these very mature sounding statements and questions and so now, I get it. Missy was our dog and because I have heard Julia ask something very similar I can easily see myself asking Dorice (Do) if Missy was outside. Something like Julia asking "Suse, is Johnders outside?"

Dorice, we will miss you. I know 'Trane, Althea, Marvin and as well as Lena (Bell Wright), Eatonton (Wright) and all the ancestors are waiting for you, while we will forever tell your stories.

Pint Sized Griotte

Julia has taken to song. She's been singing for a long time but now she has more melodies and more words to put with it. Most of her songs are sung to the tune of "Old McDonald" but she throws in the occasional "ABC" or "Itsy Bitsy Spider". Lyrically she sings the adventures of Julia and family in the tradition of the epic songs of old or the griot songs of west Africa. A typical song might be something like:

My name is Julia Frances and I have a dog, his name is Johnders. There's TP and Splotches, what's their names? They are the names of the cats and my Grandma Bonnie's house...I pet them...India and Johnders is my dog. Jesse, Michael, India plays with Johnders when she comes to my back yard with my mommy and daddy.

We go to Sam and Anne Marie's house and play in the pool and get cupcakes and Johnders, he's my dog and I feed him treats and he sits down and I play with him. Last night I wore my Dora PJs and I cried and I took a bath and Mommy went upstairs. It was dark, we read a book and I brushed my teeth...Where's the moon?...I woke up and we eat breakfast with my dad and my mom and she went to work. My dad went to the Y with me and I exercise. Down Dog, Up Dog...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 17, 18, 16, 17, 18...Moses was a baby and his sister, what's his sister's name? MIRIAM. His mother and the princess, what's her name? His mother's name is Jochebed. Moo moo here and a moo moo here and moo moo here. Old McDonald had a farm. Moo moo here and a moo moo her.

This can go on for 10+ minutes (again in the epic poem tradition) while she's running around the house. Its a blast to listen to because you can see the things that make an impact in her day. Her language can be breathtakingly funny as well as stunningly sophisticated. Her imagination is hard at work putting these facts together and it is obviously easier to do with melody and rhythm. I think we should all sing and tell stories more.

Now. if I could just get kora lessons.

Defining Herself

"I'm a girl, a child." Julia says emphatically.
"Don't call me a baby" she adds with even more confidence.

We continue to direct her but Julia is taking control of her life quickly. She is moving through potty training with lightening speed now that we've started to emphasize it. She so wants to wear underwear - "like you and like mommy".

Her abilities and skills continue to appear and refine. She has so much of Tara's confidence and directness...I can't wait to watch a teen Julia and Tara butt heads (insert evil laugh).

I am excited to see how she defines herself with each passing age.

Happy Birthday Tara!

Happy birthday to my favorite wife!!

I hope your day is the start of a wonderful year.

Number 2 in the pot

"I can't do it! I can't pee." Julia yells from the potty which Tara can see but I can't.

We hear the frustration in her voice. Of course, it is between dinner and bed which is essentially Julia's "I am frustrated" time of the day.

She leaves the bathroom - bottomless. Then the bluestreak we so often see, Julia running from one room to another, goes blazing down the hall toward the bathroom.

At this point, Tara has lost it. She is trying not to laugh out loud but Julia can see her and I can see her, she cannot contain herself. Meanwhile Julia is yelling again, "I can't do it. I can't pee."

This sequence actually happens twice but at the end of the second we hear:

I did it! I pooped!

Tara goes to investigate and sure enough, Julia pooped in the potty. Whoops and yells and clapping all around. Julia, in typical Julia/Tara fashion, asks "I get stickers?" I'm thinking hell yes, you get stickers for pooping in the pot.

Our kid is on her way to underwear (all she cares about) and no more diaper changes (all we care about).

Potty Training Joy

Yesterday I got a voice mail message from Jai describing the first successful "pee in the pot." So exciting!!

The other day my sister & mother were discussing whether I'd be "upset" to miss this first milestone ... NO! I just want it to happen.

The past few months have been frustrating as the process has been so slow. I of course am not a patient person. As this process continues to teach me, I'm not in control of what Julia ultimately does, especially with this part of her body. It really cannot be forced; she has to connect what is happening with her bladder & understand the need to be seating on the toilet BEFORE the urine leaves her body. She's been wearing training pants for about 8-9 months, but I really don't think she was ready or capable of using them to true potential. The past few weeks have been mostly amusing as we decided to have Julia go "commando" as much as possible. Parts of our house have gotten clean with much mopping. Little Naked Girl is what we call her! : )

I understand why Susie & Bonnie might wonder, but I know there will be more opportunities to watch Julia pee in the pot. I'm very proud of her for communicating with Jai & getting to the toilet on time! Julia really wants to wear underwear & understands that peeing in the pot is necessary. I bought some great organic cotton underwear at Hanna Anderson in Atlanta (when Susie & I went to the ATP tournament earlier this week). Julia was SO excited. 1 pair has the days of the week on it - she really likes that one!

Keep up the great work, Julia!

Peeing in the pot

I told my dad not to come in the bathroom with me and I peed in the pot all by myself. Dad gave me two Dora stickers and I put them on my feet, one right there and one right there.

My dad said he was proud of me.

Aunt Susie

I usually call her that.
However, she is in Nashville for her annual visit (I wish she could visit more often) & my mom calls her "Suz." That is a great nickname.

"Hey, Suz!"

She & my mom laughed & laughed when they heard me say it for the first time.
I'm SO adorable!!! : )

Come visit again soon, Suz!

The Benefits of Buying Locally [Infographic]

If you need more proof as to why local is better look at this...

The Benefits of Buying Locally [Infographic]

Mother's Day 2011

Frances book for Julia from Bonnie - I meant to write this post months ago obviously, but found it in the draft box! YIKES! Bonnie gave Julia the book "Bread for Frances" on Mother's Day.  That is so sweet for a grandmother to give her granddaughter a present for Mother's Day. Usually it's the other way around & we did something for my mother for MD, but I cannot remember now what. I think we had lunch together after church - I think at Bonnie's house & we cooked it together. Still nice to be together. Jai got some extra time alone at home before he went to work. Bonus! : )

Anyway, the book. The "Frances" books were favorites of our family. My sister, brother, mother & I all LOVED the Frances character & stories involving her parents, younger sister & friends. Now the multi-generational exposure continues with Julia having her own book. Hopefully she'll get some from Imagination Library though we'll get some for her too I'm sure.

Life in Heaven...

...watching Julia sleep peacefully.

Eat, Eat, Eat!

This really should be my mom's post because she told us this story. Julia was at Bonnie's, probably a Monday when Jai worked at library, and they were next door playing on the neighbors' swing set. Suddenly Julia took off running toward Bonnie's house, yelling "Eat, Eat, Eat!" She was hungry apparently & there was no stopping her from exclaiming her need for food. We laughed & laughed when Bonnie told us of course.

Julia is truly her mother's daughter - when she's hungry, she's got to eat NOW! Darn the consequences or anyone in her way! : )

Life In Hell...

a toddler version of Julia at bedtime.

Spring of Full(er) Integration

Tara posted recently about giving herself over to our marriage, child and each other more fully. I too have had to come to terms with that concept. I haven't been forthright with her about my finances which has been a burden on me because I knew I should tell her the full extent of my debt but I didn't because among other things, I thought I could handle it. We have had several meetings about our finances and each time Tara gets a little more info about where I'm at but in this electronic age I never had paperwork to show her what was going on and for whatever reason, she never asked me to pull it up on the computer. Now, in the grand scheme of things the debt is handlable. Our house isn't gonna be taken away, our cars are safe but - and here's where I never considered the family - we are extremely limited with savings for the future and comfort money and following that through, we are now limited on vacation time b/c I took a weekend job. Of course, these are luxuries to many but b/c of my poor money management they are not luxuries we can afford although we should've been able to. 

There are all sorts of personal reasons why I didn't disclose fully my situation but none of them hold water. I find it hard to allow myself to justify personal behavior and decisions to anyone considering my last experience with that was explaining my reasons to my parents.

So, now my debts are in the open and to more fully integrate myself  I have submitted to following the Blood-Type Diet. Tara is a firm believer in this diet but I am completely skeptical. I opened my big mouth and told Tara there are all sorts of variations of the original book, one of which is related to getting and being pregnant, which is a category we are in. We are trying to get pregnant again. Tara saw in that book a tip for a more successful conception is to have both partners follow their respective diet plans. Well, that's why I am on board. Although I am skeptical I will follow the plan. I could always lose some weight and even if the blood type diet makes no sense to me if it results in lower blood pressure I'll take it. So, until we get pregnant, stop trying to get pregnant or my blood pressure drops significantly I am on the blood-type diet.

Integration is a lifetime effort and until I die I promise to continue to become more integrated in this marriage and all other relationships which I am partner. Now, let's see if I strength to follow through with the promise.

A Sick Child is a Funny Child

I know I shouldn't laugh at Julia when she feels bad - she's got some stomach bug - but her pitiful call for Tara or me is really cute and even a bit funny in its pitifulness.

"mooommeeeee" if Tara is here
and "daaaddddeee" every other time.

I don't know exactly what's going on. She ate a good breakfast yesterday but after the Y she ate about 2 bites of a granola bar and wanted to go take her nap. Three hours later she woke up, ate the rest of the granola bar and wanted to lie back down. Within an hour I heard "daaaddddeee". By the time I got down the hall she had thrown up the granola bar all over the guest bed. HUGE MESS. Same thing happened with yogurt at dinner time except this time we heard "mooommeeeee".

We gave her some ginger tea and a bit of crystalized ginger, read a couple of stories and she slept the rest of the night without incident.

This morning...so far so good eventhough she says her stomach hurts.

Anyway, those pitiful cries for help are sometimes sickly cute.

My brother Joel

I've been meaning to post about Joel for months, in particular 2 stories! Even though it is October, I'm going to date this in April because these definitely happened before that.  Joel moved into our house in February 2010 & moved out in March 2011. It was an interesting experience for all of us. Johnders fell in love, truly adores Joel. Julia did too - she really enjoyed seeing Joel every day. They both seem to miss him lots. Jai & I had slightly different perspectives on Joel living with us, versus a trusting dog & small child. : )

Even though Joel really wasn't self sufficient enough to live on his own, we finally had to make the hard decision to ask for the key. He transitioned permanently to living with his girlfriend, whom he met in January, her 4 year old daughter & her mother. Not the best circumstances, but Joel had over a year to get his life in order.  He kept his job & paid most of his bills which is amazing, but other decisions were not as well managed & we didn't feel comfortable anymore.

Story 1 - really it's more of a comment as is Story 2 - this one is truly funny
"A sweater is like putting on a warm hug."
Imagine a 35 year old man who is 6 feet tall saying this sentence to you.

Story 2 - we laughed a bit after, but it's not funny, truly reflective of Joel's poor decision making process
After getting arrested for a DUI in January, Joel, Jai & I were discussing the situation, trying to understand what happened, why Joel had been driving after drinking, some options/choices he could have made. Joel says "so if you & Jai go out to dinner, 1 of you doesn't drink?" One of us replied "uh, yes, 1 of us is the DD." Joel's response - "Wow, that's really responsible."

I love my brother & wish him well. I truly hope that he is able to organize his life to take care of himself & his children in a mature & responsible way. I also will try to help him if I can, but not at the sacrifice of my safety or my family's.

Hypothyroidism - is that what I have?

Maybe finally an answer to a health mystery I feel I've been dealing with for years!

Reading the book Living Well with Hypothyroidism (Mary Shomon) has been hugely helpful. There's a checklist that confirms the MANY symptoms I experience most days.

Update on 10-17-11
This post is the final one of the draft titles I started in March. Yeah, I might be close to writing a real, live, current post! : )

This one I actually wrote something before I abandoned the blog! Ironically nothing really changed. I read the book, did the checklist, went back to clinic for follow-up blood work, got a referral to an endocrinologist who I saw in May & didn't like his personality or attitude towards me or my research. His answer is that I'm fatigued, like it's a relatively new concept. Yeah, like when I was pregnant & now have a small child. No, I explained to him, but he didn't listen, this is an issue I've had for a long time.

Whatever, I'll work on my health with other supports since that was a waste of a $35 co-pay.

Playing Catch-up: a year of Wellesley magazines

Another wonderful title as I catch up on posts I started in March! I think it was during Spring Break that I read the 4 quarterly issues of the 2010 Wellesley magazines. In this case, old news is still good news. I really enjoy reading about current events on campus as well as various stories related to alumnae issues/concerns. Despite the cold weather most of the year, I am sad that I don't live closer to MA.  Also I lament that Julia doesn't have more opportunities to be on campus, especially when Sewanee is less than 2 hours from Nashville & we go there every year. However, the good news is that I have Wellesley friends that I keep in good contact with & we see every year & talk about them & their children (Julia loves looking at the holiday photos & saying everyone's names) constantly. Julia also recognizes the Wellesley magazine whenever she sees it (I don't know where the Sewanee publication is) because the Summer 2011 issue is still on the coffee table.  I finished the Spring 2011 edition this past weekend! : )

Good writing & memories of a wonderful institution! Thank you, Wellesley. I love you!

Teething Irritability AGAIN!

This seems to keep happening. I don't know why I expect this teething business to be over, never to reappear again. I guess her teeth are still emerging through her gums or whatever. However, it continues to stump us when it happens. Maybe 1 day we'll understand, but for now I feel like a new parent again & again. Sometimes I wish there was a good parent manual.  For now, we do our best to keep Julia alive! : )

yummy & other happy eating sounds!

This one isn't as hard to remember because Julia still makes these sounds. It's adorable! Truly an expressive person who enjoys her food. Not surprising since I am a lover of food, like mother, like daughter! : )

stayaction in nashville 2011

Once again here's a title I wrote in March, but I'm not sure what I planned to write.
It's Spring Break & we didn't travel anywhere. I suspect for financial reasons, but don't remember.
Again, not that interesting now, but stayactions can be fun too. I'm sure I got a facial or something pampering & had lunch with Anne Marie. That's what I usually try to do when I have a break.  Of course more time with Julia & Jai too. : )

We had lots of plans to travel in the summer when we have more flexibility than 1 week off.  We're lucky to have options so I'm grateful for the school calendar that gives us lots of vacation time.

Another post done! : )

the flu transition to big girl bed

I wrote the title a LONG time ago, but didn't write anything. I haven't written anything on the blog in months. I wish I had more discipline when it comes to writing.

When Julia had the flu in March, she was having trouble resting in her crib, she couldn't get comfortable sleeping at night, there wasn't enough room for pillows. She would sleep on the mattress on the floor during her daily nap. However, when she was sick, we were able to elevate Julia's head with the pillow & she was able to sleep & rest.  Somehow enough nights of this method got her in the habit of sleeping on her big girl bed & she didn't go back to the crib.

Short post, not really that interesting, but I'm finally getting to it! : )

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle

A few weeks ago I finally finished Barbara Kingsolver's recent book. I thought it was published recently, then I saw that it was in 2007 - not so much! : )

1. I wish I had read it sooner, it is so good, so interesting.
2. I love Barbara Kingsolver! It surprises me that it took me 4 years to get & read this book (from the library, you know I don't buy books anymore!).
3. It's impressive & inspiring to read about Barbara's family's goal to eat local food for a year.

After moving from Tucson, AZ to their family farm in Virginia, Barbara's family of husband & 2 daughters decided to eat local food for a year & wrote about the experience. Even though the majority of the book is written from Barbara's perspective, I really enjoyed reading the entries her husband & adult daughter contributed.

In addition to personal narratives about growing, harvesting, preparing food for storage, there is also information about food history, big business agriculture practices, environmental & health consequences & Slow Food movement. There are similar notes found in "Food Inc," "No Impact Man" and "The Omnivoure's Dilemma" - all good books with valuable information that more people, especially in the US, need to read & change habits.

It is slightly intimidating to consider how to incorporate the ideas & concepts into our life.
1. We didn't have much success with the garden we planted last spring/summer.
2. It seems extremely time consuming to grow your own food. Almost as time consuming to cook whole foods instead of buying frozen foods & popping them in the microwave!
3. We participate in a CSA program & that's basically the only meat we eat (I eat vegetarian usually when we eat out, Jai usually takes advantage of his chance to eat pork).
4. To supplement the produce we get in bi-weekly CSA box (we share with Bonnie), we purchased fruits & veggies from neighborhood Farmer's Market. Even until late fall/winter we attempted to get locally grown greens & root vegetables from the city's original Farmer's Market, trying NOT to buy lettuce & tomatoes from CA, FL or Mexico.

We cannot change everything overnight!
We're doing the best we can even though it's not perfect 100% of the time.
We try to make changes every day.

Some changes for 2011
1. We plan to grow a garden again & be more committed & diligent about caring for it.
2. We plan to buy more produce at farmer's markets & preserve food to store for winter use.
3. We support small businesses instead of large corporations like Whole Foods, Kroger, Target.

This isn't new information, but I recently read again in a recent edition of Nashville Parent magazine about how little we spend in this country on food compared to other "developed" countries. Most of us have heard how the current generation is likely to have a shorter life span than their parents. Instead of spending our money on healthy food, Americans buy cheap food & spend money on health care costs (issues related to diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc.). It's dumb!

One quote in the book has stuck with me, it's written by Wendell Berry, an author & farmer from Kentucky. I keep coming back to it as I try to have the best relationship with food. "Eaters must understand that eating takes place in the world, it is inescapably an agricultural act, and that how we eat determines, how the world is used." If we want to eat cheap food filled with preservatives & HF corn syrup, then support CAFOs (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations) & other large corporations. If we want to eat healthy food filled with nutrients & pay the "real" cost for its growth (produced by the hard work of farmers), then support local food production. If it seems too hard, start small. Ultimately we should care what goes in our bodies as well as how the earth is used to grow it.

Read the book. It made me hungry for fresh veggies & springtime, maybe not a good thought as winter persists in being cold & snowy. However, it made me happy thinking about how wonderful the food grown in TN, or wherever you live, really is.

Do we live in Minnesota?

TN snow in 2011
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

What is going on with the weather this winter? OMG!
We finally went to school ALL 5 days last week. We didn't do that 1 week in January.
We attended school 13 days in January! This is insane!

Once again snow fell in middle TN on Wednesday afternoon & into the evening. MNPS schools dismissed 2 hours early which is a good thing because the snow started falling around 1:30pm & picked up speed by 3pm & kept going for the next 4-5 hours. Luckily I was home with Julia, though I stupidly sent Jai to work a few hours at NPL (he went today & got most of his hours which he could done anyway!). Fortunately Jai made it home safely. According to the news & hearing my brother's journey from work, many people had challenging trips home in the cold temperatures & snowy/icy road conditions.

We're out of school again tomorrow which makes like 10 or 11 days total SO FAR! I typically work the week after school is out so at this point I'll be at work until June 13 or something crazy like that! I'm going to have about 5 weeks of summer break since I return 2 weeks before teachers. UGH! It's nice to be off, but I abhor cold weather so I'm stuck in the house. That's not bad overall, but in the summer I'd rather be at the pool. Oh, well, I don't control the weather so I'm making the most of spending time with Jai & Julia. At least I don't have to figure out child care with I'm home for a snow day. : )

HAPPY SNOW DAY!

P.S. This written by Tara, but posted from Flicker so that's why it says Jai

"Yes"

Imagine Sofia Vergara's voice saying "yes" - coming out of the mouth of an adorable 2 year old.
It's hilarious & cute! So cute!
For those who don't watch "Modern Family" & don't know who Sophia Vargara is, it makes me sad.
It is one of the funniest shows. Julia doesn't even watch it & she imitates it! : )

Back off by Julia

Tara writes: apparently Jai says "back off" to Johnders when he gets in the way or is too aggressive, especially with Julia.

So now I (Julia) say it ALL the time to Johnders. Sometimes Johnders gets too close to me. I am good at expressing my feelings & I tell him to give me space.

Tara again: it's hilarious to hear her talk to him. Sometimes she's kind of loud & obnoxious, especially when Johnders really isn't near her. Johnders usually responds appropriately which is a good dog.

Nashville Snow Fun - Jan 2011

New Day, New Year, New Julia

New mattress, new car seat, new beginnings in this new year.

I'm a big girl now!

I still need a bed for this new mattress, actually Daddy is going to build a platform for it. For now it's on the floor against one wall with a sheet & blankets. Low to the ground is a good thing since I'll be climbing in & out of it, might as well not fall & hurt myself! Really it's still a crib mattress, but it's a standard size & what I have been sleeping on for years is a mini crib mattress.

The new car seat isn't really new, it's the same seat, just facing a new direction - FORWARD! Still exciting as I get to see my world from a different perspective. I love seeing the trucks everywhere & the buildings like where Jessie, Michael & India live. I also get to see Mommy & Daddy as we talk which I didn't realize was so weird when I was facing backwards. So much FUN!

Both of these things happened because I'm so tall, 35 1/2 inches, basically 3 feet, & busting out of the crib & back of car. Surprisingly I haven't figured out how, or at least decided, to climb out of the crib. I'm not sure why not since I'm adventurous, not scared of much & I like to climb too.

We went to my 2 year medical visit 3 days ago. Impressive as always. I weigh 26 pounds which is around the 20-25 %tile (I cannot read those charts!) - good for me anyway. My head circumference didn't change - so odd because I'm really smart & I know all my brains need to fit in there. Someone measured something wrong at the 18 month visit or this one. My height is 80-85 %tile which is quite a leap from last visit. People comment on how tall I am.

2011 is off to an awesome start!
Love, Julia