Free at Last!

Yesterday I was having a hard time, nothing going right, lots of crying.

I wanted to work on pumping in order to give enough breast milk to Bonnie who was going to watch Julia while Jai and I saw a movie after church. On Friday I worked with a postpartum doula, Joni M., (thanks to a wonderful baby shower gift from a co-worker) on using the breast pump & successfully pumped 1 oz. from one breast in only 5 minutes. I naively thought it would be easy to produce more for Sunday's date yet didn't pump anymore that day. We thought Jai could feed Julia (a treat for him!) and see how she'd react to the bottle nipple. No problemo - Julia will get her food however necessary! Of course I had to provide part 2 of J's meal. : ) However, I didn't realize how precious that 1 oz. would be!

Anyway, having a hard time ... didn't know how to feed Julia while storing milk. When do you do it when the baby nurses often?! I don't want Julia to be hungry. She already has these skinny arms & legs that make me call her "baby Gollum."

We (Jai) go to the computer and search the World Wide Web. : )

Despite the helpful information, I only managed to pump 2 oz. in 2 different sessions. Also Julia was very fussy and wouldn't sleep more than 10-15 minutes so that means Tara didn't sleep! At some point I said to myself I need a break. I realized that I had not been ALONE in 30+ days - like completely alone, not just taking a shower or taking a nap, but away! When Jai got back from dog park & grocery store I was going somewhere, anywhere (even though it was nasty & raining outside) for ONE hour.

Jai got home at 4:15pm, I told him the plan, gave him some instructions about Julia's last feeding and diaper change and I left. I drove to Ugly Mugs coffee shop near our house, got a piece of banana bread (yum!) (ironic since I make it all the time!), sat and read my 2 week old copy of EW. Heaven!

When I returned home at 5:30pm, I discovered an empty bottle ... the 2 oz. of pumped breast milk was gone! Jai hadn't heard/listened to my instructions and Julia seemed hungry and he fed her - he was so proud of his accomplishment. I said to Jai "I guess we're taking her to the movie with us ..." Then I went to the bathroom and cried for about 20 minutes! : (

I was so sad - how was I going to produce enough breast milk? I'd read that you have more milk earlier in the day and I struggled to get those 2 oz. However, you know Tara, I'm determined, I want to see a movie!

Jai said he didn't know why I was pumping, didn't remember the connection with the movie date and Bonnie. After talking with Jai about communication : ) and eating some dinner, I tried again & got 1 oz. out of me. This morning I woke early and got another 1.5 oz. before we left for church. Bonnie wanted 6 oz. - yeah, right! She almost got 1/2 of that!

I fed Julia at church and at Bonnie's house before Jai got there. We left at 1:20pm, show time is 1:40pm at Green Hills theater, got there to a long line. However, I had our seats at 1:39pm and saw previews as people continued to stroll into the theater and search frantically for seats. We saw "Slumdog Millionaire" which I think is the best picture of the year. It is awesome! It was fascinating to see scenes of India - almost 15 years since I traveled there though I didn't go to Mumbai (or Bombay as it was known then). However, the stories of poverty haven't changed.

We called Bonnie at 3:50pm. Julia was sound asleep. She'd already eaten the 2.5 oz. - Bonnie paced her : ) - though no need to rush. Actually we got there and visited with Bonnie & LJ, Julia was still asleep and didn't wake until we got home. HUGE success! : )

Bonnie and I have a DATE on Tuesday to see a sneak preview of "Revolutionary Road" (thanks to my Nashville Film Festival membership!). Jai will have the opportunity to watch Julia alone for a few hours ... hopefully I'll be successful at providing him with 6 oz. : )