Phone call for daddy

Julia, what else are you doing today? I repeated the question.

I'm going to take a nap. Julia finally answered.

That's a good thing, taking a nap. I said.

Thank you, daddy.

Sleep well, Julia.

Thank you, daddy. She rushed over my words.

That's a pleasant phone call.

Thanksgiving Fun & Blessings

It was so nice to have the day off with both Jai & Julia, us all home together, no work, no school, no plans in the morning. I'd done holiday cooking preparation already - our contribution was ice cream. I made a few different kinds during the weekend. We had a leisurely day of homemade pancakes. Julia took her nap, then we headed to my mom's for appetizers, soup, then dinner. Lots of yummy food, different people had made. It's a fun tradition that my mom started a few years ago so she doesn't have prepare tons of dishes. Thankful for family & friends!

32 week visit

I wish I could remember what I was going to write about this visit to see midwife.
I didn't gain any weight from the past 5 weeks which is a miracle. Thank goodness!
I talked with the midwife about next visit which is for the Group B strep test - I forget what it does, something that is important to know if you have before delivery because of treatment so baby doesn't get the virus. I wonder if it's an issue for baby delivered by C-section, but I didn't plan for that last time & this time the goal is a VBAC. I didn't have the virus last pregnancy thankfully. My blood pressure is excellent even with the weight gain this pregnancy. Baby's heartbeat is low which people say means it is a boy. All is good!
Another 4 weeks to 36 weeks & then I'll go EVERY week until the end. How time has passed quickly though I will not be sad to say goodbye to the heartburn.

Childbirth classes

UGH! Once again I have an old post with only the title to remind me of what I might have wanted to write.
Well, here goes with trying to remember from a month ago! : )

We took a child birth class series at General Hospital on 4 Monday evenings in November (we missed 1 class because of family illnesses). Even though we plan to have the baby at Vanderbilt Hospital as that is where the midwifery center delivers babies, the class was free (not the case at Vandy) & Jai was born at General so it was neat to have some connection there.

Though we have had a child it was a great experience. We knew a lot of information already from reading & of course, Julia's birth. However, we learned some, clarified some, reminded of lots; it was a good refresher kind of course. We also received a beautiful knitted blanket to add to our collection of lovely hand made works of art & love.

Grilled Cheeserie

YUMMY! The food truck was at the West Nashville Farmer's Market yesterday & we hadn't eaten there in FOREVER. So glad we ventured out so far! We got lots of great green veggies, some meat, goat cheese of course, finally found some APPLES & the raw food. Then we snacked on a grilled cheese sandwich, tater tots (Jai & Julia shared) & the special dessert of vanilla bean/pumpkin pudding. It was a beautiful day to be outside, sunny, slightly windy, gorgeous weather.

Raw Food

I'm not really a fan. I like meats, eggs & cheese too much to be a vegetarian, much less a vegan. We try to buy/eat less meat to decrease our carbon footprint & definitely buy local products whenever possible. However, we still cook our food.  Today I got some amazing food from The Raw Warrior at the West Nashville Farmer's Market. I've actually sampled some of their wares when we'd stop by their table at the East Nashville Farmer's Market. It never tasted that great, not bad, just not good enough for me to purchase it.  Today was another story. It was spinach almond hummus & cilantro lime flax seed crackers. The garlic & spices also must be a big part of the overall taste sensation. Whatever it is the snacks are yummy!

Colds are Cruel during Pregnancy

That's all I want to say. It's not right!

Imagination Peaking

Julia has been very verbal from the moment she became verbal. Her vocabulary and grammar is pretty amazing; picking up on the things we say, filling in gaps and so on. Recently she's gone off the rails with imaginary language. Sometimes Julia will talk for 20 minutes straight in her own imaginary language. Its a verbal vomit. She starts talking about something and then it transforms into this gibberish.It sounds like she is pronouncing sets of jumbled letters yet it sounds like words. Its mind-boggling to hear, especially her extended monologues.

Side note. One of my fav radio shows just did a very interesting show on language development

Then comes the imaginary play, this is obvious stuff. She mimics what she sees. She feeds and reads to her "friends". She plays games and she tells them stories. In that spectrum is drawing where she puts a dot on a page and says she's drawing a tree or a smiley face. Today it finally took that twist we all dread to hear...

Julia, why did you drop the book? I asked.
Daddy I didn't do it, Bunny did. She answered.

Great! She now has accomplices.

Also...

Julia quote of the day: Do you want your penis in your mail? (I can put this is context if you wish but it stands on its own)

Old McDonald's

That's what Julia says about the yellow arches. Cute!

Other than that, she doesn't know about this place. Sometimes I'm sad for her missing out on some memories & experiences I associate with childhood like Twinkies, Tang, McD's fish sandwich & milk shakes. However, not that Julia's in any danger for childhood obesity, it is a real situation for many young people. The statistics are scary. Thankfully she understands or at least repeats what we say about it being unhealthy.

Also her normal is very different. She's growing up with Farmer's Market & CSA. She knows what sweet potatoes & okra are as well as kale, garlic & onions. Julia is unique compared to some of her peers, but then there are others who are living a similar way.  Everyone packs a lunch at the Parent Day Out program she attends; snack is provided. However, we bring her snack also. We don't want her eating goldfish & vanilla wafers every day when she likes pretzels & trail mix. Sometimes Jai doesn't want her to be different, but I'm used to it. It's OK for her to learn to be herself now when she's not self conscious about it.  When she has her own money & wants to buy "junk food," we'll see what happens. I wonder if she'll want to by that point.

Blueberries for Sal

This is the book Julia got from Imagination Library yesterday.

Jai & Julia told me she got a new book, but I forgot to ask what it was or look at it. I usually do when I get home from work as I'm excited when it arrives in the mail. However, it was Friday & I was really tired! Growing this baby is exhausting!

This morning walking home from the Y with Julia, we were talking about her new book & I asked her what it was. She said Blueberries for Sal very clearly, no hesitation. Of course I was impressed which I usually am with her verbal skills in general, but she just got this book. Maybe it's not signficant, but it seems amazing to me that she said the title so quickly & easily. Actually her memory is incredible so maybe it's not that earth shattering.

However, more importantly I loved this book as a child! I'm so excited to be able to read it with her as I was so happy when my mom gave Julia "Bread and Jam for Frances" for Mother's Day in May, another favorite of mine.

I'm so grateful & blessed that my child loves reading as much as I do. I'm sure we'll have many opportunities to bond over something, but I'm glad one experience is the wonders of reading wonderful books!

oh, the funny things kids say!

The reality is that children say what they hear from others, in particular parents or their consistent caregivers. Lately I am saying the word "crap" too much, mainly frustration with some toilet training lapses/accidents!
Now it is a favorite phrase of a little girl in our house.

Actually Julia proves my hypothesis constantly. Once again it happened recently. I really need to watch what I say!

Julia has a weekly play date with our friends' child, Sam. I'm sure we've mentioned his name or my friend, Anne Marie, in other posts. Anyway, this week they played at our house (they rotate every other week so each parent gets a mini-break for a few hours). It was a nice day so they played outside; at some point they watched some construction work being done across the street & Jai said that the worker talked with them. I jokingly said something like "I wonder what he thought of this black man with a black kid & a white kid." It's stupid, I don't usually make comments about race distinctions, it's not important.

Anyway, Julia quickly says the following:

• Who's the white kid?!
• Am I the white kid?!
• No, Sam's the white kid!

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I did. I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop, Jai is chuckling too. Of course Julia is a great social laugher so she starts laughing; we're all tickled! You also have to imagine her hand motions too - she touches her chest when she asks the 2nd question.

What is typical is the topic of conversation moves on to something else quickly, but I wonder why she knew Sam was the white kid. She knows colors, probably that's it. However, I'm having a moment of guilty conscience & contributing to my child's racial identity, creating some kind of bias. This won't be the first time of discomfort at something I've said to her or someone else, but I still wish I didn't say what I think sometimes.

Self-determination

Three year olds are obviously short versions of the adults they will become.

Julia has expressed herself really well since she was much smaller but today she took it one step further. She said she was hungry (mid-morning snack) and I was apparantly taking too long so without announcement or warning she runs off. About 20 secs later she reappears and says in a very matter-of-fact, matter-of-course way, "Dad, I was in the pantry." "I want rice cake and almond butter." Then she sat back down and continued what she was doing.

It's all very normal, but it's quite amazing to watch up close.

Addition from Tara on 11-5-11:
Today Julia did the same thing with the juice. She took it from the fridge & came back to tell me it was on the counter, again after she'd already asked for it & waited patiently for me to respond & I was taking too long.
She's resourceful & communicative! Kind of like someone else I know! : )

Active Baby S.

midwife visit on 10-28-11 - week 28

First of all, I almost passed out when I saw the scale! I gained 10 pounds in 5 weeks. That's not good!

I decided to stop eating the junk food (there is always something yummy at work!!). Pregnancy is really no excuse to eat everything in sight, especially when it's off my blood type (I really hurt myself when that happens). I also need to get back to my exercise routine which is a proven element of my blood type weight management success.

It is a vicious cycle of being "too tired."
I don't get up in the morning & go to Y.
When I eat something unhealthy day after day, I feel more sluggish.
Then I also am going to bed late.
I'm already sleeping in spots - frequent bathroom visits.
That equals weight gain. 
Bad combination of events!

The good thing is I can do it; already I can tell I feel better & lost a few pounds. I've gained 25 pounds & I really don't want to pass 35. I want to keep it similar to last time.

I signed the release form about the gestational diabetes glucose test - midwife (Linda) was cool about it, no pressure. She wasn't as concerned as me about the weight gain either - "it's not so bad." My blood pressure is 110/70 - usually good like that. I measured 29 weeks she said, not 28 weeks & 2 days. Again not much concern, maybe this baby will be bigger than Julia was, probably because I've gained more weight! : )

OK- topic related to post title!
Linda mentioned now I need to be counting the baby's movements, making sure it's frequent. I assured her that there is no problem in that area! This baby is much more active than Julia was ... or so I thought. Linda said something about having an anterior placenta last pregnancy & I said yes. The placenta then acts like a pillow & muffles the baby's movements. So I thought Julia was this mellow, relaxed fetus which didn't match her postpartum personality. That's kind of a relief.

Yet I wonder if that also means it decreased the intensity of the labor contractions I felt.  This also delayed going to hospital plus my ignorance that I needed to wait for water to break despite the frequency & duration of the contractions! I'm slightly nervous that the contractions this time will be much more intense - already I'm having lots of something like Braxton-Hicks, pressure that seems different from the baby moving/kicking. It also makes me feel like I have to go to the bathroom much more often. Don't need that - it's already too much!

Hopefully I'll be able to manage the real labor contractions. After the heinous heartburn since month 6, I feel like I can handle it, but I still wonder! Regardless this baby's nickname is Kicky McS. : )

Fall Break 2011

week 27 - 3rd trimester - nesting insanity!
You should see the list I've made of stuff to complete in next 3 months. Crazy!

Some of it is necesssary as we'll use it immediately once baby is born.

1. clean the infant car seat & crib
2. make sure we have the other infant stuff pulled out of storage
3. contact Smile Mommy! to set up cloth diaper service again

Some of it doesn't have to be done, it's more of a goal.

• green couch cleaned (it is SO nasty!)
• house cleaned by professionals (it really needs a thorough cleaning that won't happen again for another 3-4 years!)
• cook meals to store in freezer

I got a ton done - play date with friends with similar age kids, personal & medical appointments, visited a college friend in Memphis with Julia (Jai stayed home with a cold with Johnders who has heartworms so cannot be boarded), submitted my expired passport for renewal, paid property taxes (due in February 2012). However, I was exhausted!

I remember this crazed feeling of wanting to get so much done 3 years ago. I also was way too busy outside of work/home with church activities, socializing with friends, volunteering. I don't do as much as I used to, but I still have a full calendar most weeks. I decided not to do more than 1 activity each week. The only exception is if it's an exercise date with a friend at the Y during time when child care is available. I have to manage my weight gain - it's already more than last time & I have WEEKS to go!

I told Jai to help me do less. Sometimes that means he has to do more. : )

Baby # 2

We're having another baby due in January 2012. 

We were slow to tell people again (14-15 weeks), this time we haven't even sent a mass email, just word of mouth. We're excited & happy, but tired usually, so don't think about it.  Once again the gender is unknown as we like the surprise. We're working with same midwifery center affiliated with Vanderbilt Hospital; actually our primary midwife is Soheyl again which is super cool as she was the person on duty when we went into labor with Julia. We're planning on attempting a VBAC with high hopes for a successful delivery & not a repeat C-section.

All is well with the pregnancy, I'm just so tired, more than I remember last time, but that's because I have a little person to hang out with when I come home from work. Little time to rest as I did often while pregnant with Julia. : ) We're not doing any of the interventions/tests - only did the ultrasound at 20 weeks which was cool, made everything seem more real.  Even though I'm 41 I'm a healthy person & don't feel like it's necessary to spend time & money on tests. Once again I got an interesting response from the midwife when I went for my last appointment & we discussed my next visit at 28 weeks (Oct. 26) for the glucose test. I said I wasn't going to do it. I know I wrote a post in 2008 about a similar conversation with them about refusing the test. Most people must do it even those women who have a midwife as their medical provider.

Anyway, this baby is definitely different in utero, much more active & busy, especially when I'm trying to rest or sleep. Julia was way more mellow inside, compared to outside now! : ) I am really curious to meet this individual, male or female; I know they will be different babies & children. Hopefully I won't compare them too much which I know is difficult. I also am trying to be more excited, but it is second time & I'm not really into being pregnant. I hate the constant bathroom visits & heartburn discomfort, both of which started WAY earlier this time! : ( I'm sure this baby will have lots of hair too which I don't need heartburn to tell me! However, I'm excited & curious about breastfeeding despite that constant work of feeding a baby & of course sleep deprivation. I'm hopeful that this time we'll have more success earlier with breastfeeding, with fewer complications & issues. At least one of us will have some experience & lots of support from La Leche League & other friends. : )

Congratulations as Julia likes to say when she uses the toilet. So funny!

Potty Training Success

Finally it happened! For the past 2 1/2 months Julia has been honing her skills on the toilet. Gradually she started wearing underwear during the day instead of the potty pants or even the commando look which she LOVES almost as much as underwear! About 6 weeks ago she started to wear underwear all the time & improved on her ability to get to the toilet & pull down pants & underwear with fewer & fewer accidents.  The past 2 weeks there have been hardly any accidents. The cutest part is how excited Julia is to pee & poop in the toilet on her own. Sometimes she still needs assistance & she occasionally gets busy & forgets to get to the toilet on time. However, Julia is definitely becoming more independent & grown up, as she soon approaches her 3rd birthday which she knows is Dec. 9. AMAZING!

As her parents, we're excited to have a few months' reprieve from diapers (she still wears 1 at nap & bedtime, but often it is dry when she wakes up, even at night) before the next kid arrives in January. Our budget will enjoy the break too! : )

Do(e), is Missy Outside?!?

Dorice Josephine Glascoe Wright, E.D. 

Dorice fought it but ultimately, cancer won. I saw Dorice less frequently than almost all of my cousins. She and her brother are longtime Northeasterners, Dorice in the Boston area and her brother, Lewis, in New York which are places very far away from me. Not until I started going to family reunions as an adult did I have any significant contact with either of them and at that point it was only every two years until Dorice and I exchanged email addresses. At that point we started to write quite a bit.

My most recent memories are that Dorice was my family's most diligent but disorganized family historian. She knew the people and places of family long gone but her document archives were scatter-shot at best - it really is a family trait. This info was to be included in her perpetually under-construction and unpublished memoir. We talked about family and genealogy and we talked lots about jazz. She was clued into parts of the Boston music scene I never was familiar with but she spoke with intimacy and enthusiasm.

The memory that stands out the most is a story passed down to me from my own personal history. A story that sounds probable but one that took place when I was so young that I don't remember it. Dorice came to Nashville to visit my mother and me and at some point while staying with us I exclaimed - in a voice I have learned from Julia that only two or three year olds can muster - Do, is Missy outside? Why such a simple phrase stuck like it did I couldn't understand until Julia started blurting out these very mature sounding statements and questions and so now, I get it. Missy was our dog and because I have heard Julia ask something very similar I can easily see myself asking Dorice (Do) if Missy was outside. Something like Julia asking "Suse, is Johnders outside?"

Dorice, we will miss you. I know 'Trane, Althea, Marvin and as well as Lena (Bell Wright), Eatonton (Wright) and all the ancestors are waiting for you, while we will forever tell your stories.

Pint Sized Griotte

Julia has taken to song. She's been singing for a long time but now she has more melodies and more words to put with it. Most of her songs are sung to the tune of "Old McDonald" but she throws in the occasional "ABC" or "Itsy Bitsy Spider". Lyrically she sings the adventures of Julia and family in the tradition of the epic songs of old or the griot songs of west Africa. A typical song might be something like:

My name is Julia Frances and I have a dog, his name is Johnders. There's TP and Splotches, what's their names? They are the names of the cats and my Grandma Bonnie's house...I pet them...India and Johnders is my dog. Jesse, Michael, India plays with Johnders when she comes to my back yard with my mommy and daddy.

We go to Sam and Anne Marie's house and play in the pool and get cupcakes and Johnders, he's my dog and I feed him treats and he sits down and I play with him. Last night I wore my Dora PJs and I cried and I took a bath and Mommy went upstairs. It was dark, we read a book and I brushed my teeth...Where's the moon?...I woke up and we eat breakfast with my dad and my mom and she went to work. My dad went to the Y with me and I exercise. Down Dog, Up Dog...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 17, 18, 16, 17, 18...Moses was a baby and his sister, what's his sister's name? MIRIAM. His mother and the princess, what's her name? His mother's name is Jochebed. Moo moo here and a moo moo here and moo moo here. Old McDonald had a farm. Moo moo here and a moo moo her.

This can go on for 10+ minutes (again in the epic poem tradition) while she's running around the house. Its a blast to listen to because you can see the things that make an impact in her day. Her language can be breathtakingly funny as well as stunningly sophisticated. Her imagination is hard at work putting these facts together and it is obviously easier to do with melody and rhythm. I think we should all sing and tell stories more.

Now. if I could just get kora lessons.

Defining Herself

"I'm a girl, a child." Julia says emphatically.
"Don't call me a baby" she adds with even more confidence.

We continue to direct her but Julia is taking control of her life quickly. She is moving through potty training with lightening speed now that we've started to emphasize it. She so wants to wear underwear - "like you and like mommy".

Her abilities and skills continue to appear and refine. She has so much of Tara's confidence and directness...I can't wait to watch a teen Julia and Tara butt heads (insert evil laugh).

I am excited to see how she defines herself with each passing age.

Happy Birthday Tara!

Happy birthday to my favorite wife!!

I hope your day is the start of a wonderful year.

Number 2 in the pot

"I can't do it! I can't pee." Julia yells from the potty which Tara can see but I can't.

We hear the frustration in her voice. Of course, it is between dinner and bed which is essentially Julia's "I am frustrated" time of the day.

She leaves the bathroom - bottomless. Then the bluestreak we so often see, Julia running from one room to another, goes blazing down the hall toward the bathroom.

At this point, Tara has lost it. She is trying not to laugh out loud but Julia can see her and I can see her, she cannot contain herself. Meanwhile Julia is yelling again, "I can't do it. I can't pee."

This sequence actually happens twice but at the end of the second we hear:

I did it! I pooped!

Tara goes to investigate and sure enough, Julia pooped in the potty. Whoops and yells and clapping all around. Julia, in typical Julia/Tara fashion, asks "I get stickers?" I'm thinking hell yes, you get stickers for pooping in the pot.

Our kid is on her way to underwear (all she cares about) and no more diaper changes (all we care about).

Potty Training Joy

Yesterday I got a voice mail message from Jai describing the first successful "pee in the pot." So exciting!!

The other day my sister & mother were discussing whether I'd be "upset" to miss this first milestone ... NO! I just want it to happen.

The past few months have been frustrating as the process has been so slow. I of course am not a patient person. As this process continues to teach me, I'm not in control of what Julia ultimately does, especially with this part of her body. It really cannot be forced; she has to connect what is happening with her bladder & understand the need to be seating on the toilet BEFORE the urine leaves her body. She's been wearing training pants for about 8-9 months, but I really don't think she was ready or capable of using them to true potential. The past few weeks have been mostly amusing as we decided to have Julia go "commando" as much as possible. Parts of our house have gotten clean with much mopping. Little Naked Girl is what we call her! : )

I understand why Susie & Bonnie might wonder, but I know there will be more opportunities to watch Julia pee in the pot. I'm very proud of her for communicating with Jai & getting to the toilet on time! Julia really wants to wear underwear & understands that peeing in the pot is necessary. I bought some great organic cotton underwear at Hanna Anderson in Atlanta (when Susie & I went to the ATP tournament earlier this week). Julia was SO excited. 1 pair has the days of the week on it - she really likes that one!

Keep up the great work, Julia!

Peeing in the pot

I told my dad not to come in the bathroom with me and I peed in the pot all by myself. Dad gave me two Dora stickers and I put them on my feet, one right there and one right there.

My dad said he was proud of me.

Aunt Susie

I usually call her that.
However, she is in Nashville for her annual visit (I wish she could visit more often) & my mom calls her "Suz." That is a great nickname.

"Hey, Suz!"

She & my mom laughed & laughed when they heard me say it for the first time.
I'm SO adorable!!! : )

Come visit again soon, Suz!

The Benefits of Buying Locally [Infographic]

If you need more proof as to why local is better look at this...

The Benefits of Buying Locally [Infographic]