Wellesley College Baby Grand Slam

This year 4 babies (3 girls and 1 boy) were born - hence the Grand Slam reference - within my group of college friends. The current tally is 9 babies. Now we have 6 prospective Wellesley College students for the classes of 2026-2031! : )

When I announced my pregnancy to them, Christine's January baby was here and I knew of Deidre's impending July baby, so I framed our baby news in the sports context of a hat trick. Then Nancy emailed us all and said a Grand Slam was more appropriate since she was also pregnant, due in November. The Grand Slam analogy is more apropos because Pauline (my original tennis camp buddy) actually completed the tennis Grand Slam by attending all 4 tournaments: Australian Open in January with Pete (a friend who we met in college), French Open with Lisa, Wimbledon with Tara and US Open with Lisa & Pete (I went with P & P in 2007).

7 of us lived in the same dorm (Munger) our first year at Wellesley College, actually 4 of us (Tara, Elizabeth, Nancy, Deidre) lived on the same floor. We've stayed in consistent contact for the past 20 years. It is a joy to see one or more of each other during the year. Sometimes they are spontaneous opportunities & more join the reunion, like with tennis camp & GS tournaments.

In addition to attending our class reunion every 5 years (most of us go), we usually try to create mini-reunion moments every 2 years.

2002 we rented a house on Martha's Vineyard for a week - last reunion with no children born yet
2003 we went to PA for Nancy's first baby shower
2005 my wedding in Nashville!
2006 we rented a house in North Carolina's Outer Banks for a week (17 total =7+5 spouses+5 children
2007 photo above is WC reunion: Lisa, Christine, Tara, Elizabeth, Pauline (Deidre left early, Nancy's husband's college reunion was same weekend)
2008 Pauline, Lisa & Tara (plus Susie) went to tennis camp together
2009 where will the group go...other than tennis camp! Elizabeth might join us plus HER sister. :)
2010 we've discussed a women-only reunion ... we all turn 40!
2012 our next WC reunion

There have been interesting connections with all the babies.
2 natural, 2 C-sections
2 to start & end the year - 1 baby in January, 1 in December
2 first time babies, 2 additions
2 "same" middle names - Francis (the boy) & Frances (Julia - obviously)

What a bountiful year of Wellesley babies! : )

Silver Linings

Again I find myself lucky to get on-line and check email and post my thoughts to the blog. Breastfeeding is an all-consuming job in addition to eating and sleeping and daily showering. : ) So many people said I wouldn't shower for a month. I really was confused about it; basically I have a minimum once-a-day policy regarding my personal hygiene. However, I used to have a policy about sleeping 7-9 hours a night ... that's definitely changed!

Here are some thoughts about the C-section. I grieved a lot the first few days after being home from the hospital. I was surprised at how strong my emotions were about the loss of natural childbirth and not seeing Julia born and held by us immediately. Instead we heard a voice on the other side of the blue drape announce "it's a girl." I cried and cried, especially during the early mornings as I dealt with the painful blocked milk ducts on limited sleep and sore nipples.

In hindsight I realize that the normal feelings of grief and loss apply to many kinds of situations. Denial, sadness, bargaining, anger, finally acceptance. Denial and bargaining don't really apply. However, I was SO angry and felt robbed, especially when I think about reaching 9 cm dilation ... I was there! I realize how close we were to delivering Julia at home because of not getting to the hospital sooner. I continue to work toward acceptance and Julia makes anything and everything possible!

Anyway, Jai jumped into the parent role quickly in the O.R. Here are some other positives.
1. Jai watched over Julia while the nursery and pediatric staff evaluated her vitals. He always was with her when it was necessary to go the nursery. He did a great job!
2. Many people commented on her "pretty" face which might have looked "ugly" if Julia had traveled through the birth canal. Some newborns emerge looking good! : )
3. With my physical limitations I cannot obsess over cleaning the house. That is definitely a good thing for me - I like things in order. It actually has been wonderful to have others cook, wash dishes and clothes and vacuum, clean the bathroom. Jai and I share a lot of household responsibilities, but it is always nice to take a break from it.

The first 6 weeks are so important to rest and focus on being a parent and bond with Julia. I find myself falling in love with her more each day!

Julia's Birth Story: Part 3 (Jai's Version)

For weeks I'd been frustrated that nothing was happening. I came home from work on Monday, the 8th and Tara looked a bit more tired than usual. She expressed some concerns over the contractions but I didn't think much about it since we'd been dealing with Braxton-Hicks for awhile. I asked her if they were more intense, she said not really. I asked if they were more frequent, she said she hadn't noticed. I pulled out one of my dad-to-be books and asked Tara to time them...the book said something about 5 min apart. She said they weren't and we continued our night. I fixed dinner, we watched a little TV and Tara decided to go to bed.

An hour or so later she says she can't go to sleep b/c of the contractions which were only a minute or so more frequent than before. She told me I needed to come to bed earlier than my usual time b/c who knows how much longer I would be able to get sleep, I didn't listen. I crawled in bed about 12midnight and we spooned and I rubbed her back as I dozed off. Within 15 minutes, Tara exclaims something. I ask and she says her water just broke. She carefully walked to the bathroom, I got the phone, Tara gave me the midwife office phone. Soyehl was on call and asked me what color was the fluid; just as I asked Tara she says "Oh, gross, that's nasty." I tell Soheyl that its greenish and tells me that is meconium and we should go straight to the hospital. She doesn't explain, I don't ask. I call Bonnie and tell her what's going on.

We were both hurried but I felt surprisingly calm and focused. Nervously, I let Johnders out. It was the middle of the night and I didn't know when we would be back. He thought it was a game. I got my bag, filled with a change of clothes, a book, Tara's laptop, my iPod, a comb and toothbrush. As we left, it was obvious that Johnders knew something was going on.

As I think about it, I knew something was going on too, it had only been a day or two earlier that I sent an email to my desk replacements to make sure I had proper contact info. It had been only a day or two that I filled a giant plastic bag with Johnders' food. It was earlier in the evening that I first asked Tara which route she preferred to get to the hospital. I asked b/c invariably I take the highway and Tara asks why I went that way and I didn't want to be on the way to the hospital and have THAT conversation.

We calmly make it to the hospital. Along the way Tara had couple of contractions but she was far more worried about getting messy...amniotic fluid continued to flow...more than the pain she was feeling. Her calmness allowed me to be calm. We made it to Vandy's Emergency Room and the valet was about to take the car, I had the bags and the car wouldn't start. I went back to see what was going on - the battery had died. Let me repeat.

We ARRIVED at Vanderbilt Hospital and the battery died.

The universe conspiring to move my life forward (I'll tell you about the night my dad died at some other point). Tara proceeded to check in and have contractions but finally the valet said he would figure it out, which he did and I finally got inside with Tara.

I think it was the broccoli

Julia & I just finished - I hope we are finished - our first marathon cry session.

She's now sleeping across my lap but she has been crying and her stomach has been gurgling since 10:30. It's 12:10 now.

I'm looking through 2 of my parenting books and one of them talks about colic and mentions broccoli as a bad idea for breastfeeding mothers. Guess what we had for dinner!?!?!

Yep, we had broccoli.

Separation of Duties

Julia mystifies

Tara feeds

Bonnie soothes

Jai cleans

The Joys of Julia - there are so many!

Julia is truly a sweet baby. She is content to sleep in someone's arms and she makes the most adorable facial expressions (purses those lips, coos, smiles) and noises (grunts, snorts). I find myself staring at her, seemingly for hours, which I have plenty of time while she nurses. Julia has long fingers which I find myself touching often (sometimes picking off her dry, flaky skin thanks to 9+ months surrounded by amniotic fluid). She also makes many motions with her hands and fingers, especially while she nurses, one which sometimes reminds me of a kitten kneading the mother cat's breast.

Julia is more alert each day, staring with such focus and attention. We're not sure who she recognizes yet. She seems to like to stare at the ceiling fans which is probably because babies see black and white contrast best at this age. She smiles more and more and soon she'll be holding her head up more strongly.

We try to read a book to her every day. The other day I realized Jai was reading something from EW to her and he also reads the newspaper with her. : ) We didn't read to her much while I was pregnant so we figured it is never too early to model reading and begin the practice and habit of daily reading.

Everyone, including us, refers to how beautiful Julia is. A few days after Julia's birth I started to feel uncomfortable about how much her beauty is referenced so we added a tag line about her intelligence, especially true because of her breastfeeding ability. "Beautiful (or cute or pretty) ... and smart" has become our new phrase.

Pediatrician

We didn't name a person at the hospital so the staff pediatricians provided care for Julia while we were there. We had met with one doctor in October and liked her. We tried to meet with some others, but found prenatal visits to be challenging to schedule (most don't do it). Ironically we had an appointment with a family practice doctor recommended by a friend for the Wednesday after Julia was born. We decided to go ahead and meet with this doctor for the 2 day discharge visit and see how she interacted with us and the baby. Luckily we were impressed with Dr. Robinson's presentation, she is extremely personable and knowledgeable. Another irony is that both Jai and I need new doctors because mine moved to another city while I was pregnant and using the midwifery center and Jai's doctor is having a baby in a few weeks. We're excited about the possibility of us all being in the same family practice. It is also close to our home so super blessing!

Breastfeeding Basics - Julia is the Best Teacher

In one of my many breastfeeding books, there were some suggestions for "Getting the Best Start" to breastfeeding. We found many of them to be helpful.

1. Natural Childbirth - that didn't happen as planned, hopefully VBAC for future baby #2. I'm a good candidate because of the incision I have and the circumstances for C-section (breech rather than some health related issue).

2. Baby at breast immediately after delivery, skin to skin - it was about an hour after the surgery when Julia & I reunited, luckily Bonnie noticed J was rooting and Soheyl brought her to me immediately and got us started. I have a vague recollection of this moment, thank goodness for the photos, because I was on some happy meds. There was some skin to skin contact as many of you have seen!

3. Room-in - did that, actually the only time Julia went to the nursery was in Jai's presence. A few people suggested we take advantage of the hospital nursery so we get some sleep. This is true; however, sleep deprivation is a reality so why should it be different in the hospital. Plus we wanted to be successful at breastfeeding - more access = more practice.

4. No artificial nipples - We're not planning on using a pacifier if at all possible and definitely not before 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion. During one of the few times Jai was in the nursery with Julia, a baby cried and the nurse put a pacifier in his/her mouth. Another reason to room-in; you have more control of what happens with your baby if she is with you instead of in the nursery.

5. No restriction on length or frequency of feedings - breast milk is easily digested so a breastfed baby might need to eat more often. Letting the baby determine the duration means she gets what she needs too. Plus who couldn't use more practice! : )

6. No supplements of water, sugar water or formula - breast milk has all the baby needs. Also another reason to room-in; you have more control of what happens with your baby if she is with you instead of in the nursery.

7. No free samples of formula! - according to some literature I read there is an initiative developed in collaboration with WHO (World Health Organization) that countries will not circumvent breastfeeding by providing free formula to new families. We received a "free" diaper bag filled with all kinds of baby accessories and coupons, including formula. My stance is if I don't have formula I cannot use it, especially in a dire, desperate situation when I think my baby is starving.

8. Proper positioning and latching - this has been the most challenging part to get right. Julia truly is the best teacher because she knows what to do, latches on and sucks like a powerhouse. Unfortunately the lactation consultant didn't visit us the first day since we apparently had the reputation for breastfeeding so well (she "consulted" with us once on Wed. and once on Thurs. before we discharged for about 5 minutes each visit). Also with the post-surgery drugs I didn't notice some of the nipple pain until I got home. I struggle the most during the night with both darkness (we keep a lamp on most of the night) and sleepiness in terms of being diligent about latch and position. It's getting better every day, but I've been really frustrated and confused and I have great support from Jai AND Bonnie. I really understand how women quit breastfeeding if they don't have support and resources.

Convenience - it truly is a matter of opinion what is most convenient in terms of the breast and the bottle. We had a funny encounter with Jai's godmother, Libby, yesterday where both of us proclaimed to choose the most convenient method and then we both said different answers. Libby said the bottle and Tara said the breast! Libby meant that she could go places without concern - child could be fed by someone else; Tara meant that the breast is always available at the right temperature without a need for equipment as well as the FREE component.

Being Home Post-Delivery

Julia is serious about her breastfeeding so I haven't had much opportunity to check email or write many posts. I've been sleeping, eating or taking a shower (EVERY DAY is my goal). Like mother, like daughter are Julia and I - serious about food and sleep and cleanliness (well we clean her right now). Since getting home on Thursday, I have stayed in very comfortable clothes like my PJ's and today I put on "real" clothes and put in my contact lenses. Small things, but I felt like a real person! Maybe tomorrow I'll go outside and walk to the mailbox. : )

Many of you have asked about labor & delivery, especially with the many different & confusing emails that went out on Sunday & Monday about "No Baby Sanders yet." Then there was the "Draft: baby Sanders is here" email with the wrong birth date, then the correct date of December 9, both sent by Jai from home on Wednesday. We had some strange lack of internet connection at Vanderbilt Hospital, very odd and unexpected. We had the laptop as everyone suggested, but without internet, it is worthless for worldwide communication about the news of our daughter's birth. It actually has been quite a comedy of errors!

Anyway, I attempted to send the "No Baby Sanders yet" on Sunday morning and couldn't get it to go out and then Jai got it fixed that evening. I really thought Julia (formerly known as the baby) wasn't coming early, actually thought she would be late. I really had some misconceptions about how everything would go down, you know since I'm a rule follower, forgetting that there are ALL kinds of exceptions with pregnancy as well as L&D. I wrote about some of it in the "Dropping" post. Then there was the question of when would my water break and then of course the contractions.

Read "Julia's Birth Story: Part 1 (At home)" first

Future postings:
Breastfeeding Basics - Julia is the Best Teacher
The Joys of Julia - there are so many!
Why Mothers are the Best Thing Ever

Julia's Birth Story: Part 2 (at the hospital)

We get to the E.R. around 1:15am, Jai turns off the car and I get out to go inside and Jai comes to follow me and I say "remember the bags." I go inside and start the enrollment process while Jai brings in the bags. As the attendant asks me questions and gets my signatures and the contractions continue, Jai comes inside and says the valet attendant couldn't get the car started. The battery is dead. Whew, I am glad we got to the hospital!

Jai goes to deal with the car and I wait for L&D to come downstairs for me. I call my mom to say we're there (Jai had called her when my water broke). Ironically Bonnie had been calling me every day for the past week or so - "just checking on you" and when she called that evening, I told her about the contractions and we'd keep her posted, but I forgot to call her when I went to bed. I really was living in a world of denial about the reality of this labor situation.

Luckily the wheelchair and L&D staff person arrive and Jai returns to get the bags and we head upstairs to the 4th floor. We get to our room, meet our really nice nurse, I change into a gown and then I get on the bed and she checks my vital signs. I'll try to keep the gory details to a minimum, but I'm a leaking mess which is really disgusting, but I don't realize the significance of it until later. Soon Soheyl comes into the room, we are so happy she's on call tonight/this morning, and she checks me to see how much my cervix is dilated. She says she's not sure because she felt something soft which is unusual for the baby's head, might be the bottom, and I'm 9 cm dilated. WHAT?! I never felt an urge to push.

She gets an ultrasound machine and confirms that the baby is head up, bottom down, in a breech position. How did that happen?! The baby has presented as head down for WEEKS now; however, she hadn't dropped and therefore wasn't locked into the pelvis. Soheyl says she has to consult with the OB staff in a situation such as this, but thinks that it will be necessary to perform a C-section. WOW! Didn't see that coming!

Naively I really thought she'd return with "good" news, but unfortunately that didn't happened. She says that C-section is recommended, the hospital doesn't do breech births anymore (or something like that) and we need to make a decision soon because of how far I'm dilated and how much amniotic fluid I've lost; luckily the baby's vitals are fine, nothing of concern now, but could change. As we're talking, I realize that an army of people has started to appear around the room, including a number of the OB staff, more nurses, some medical student (or 2), and I think an anesthesiologist.

Basically we have to decide between the risk to mother (C-section) or risk to baby (breech presentation attempting vaginal delivery) - rock and hard place, serious Catch-22. We are so conflicted because having a C-section is so far from our birth plan, the complete opposite of what we wanted for our birth experience. You don't use a midwife and plan for a C-section even though we knew that it was a possibility, depends on what happened at the time of L&D. We agonized over the options, looking at our midwife and Bonnie, for support and clarification. They both could tell how devastated and disappointed we were to be facing this situation and were wonderful advocates for us.

The other hospital staff were extremely respectful even though they knew how crucial the time frame was. We think they were surprised and amazed that this couple was considering not doing the C-section. It was our first difficult decision as parents and we chose what was safest for the baby. Bonnie told me later as we consented to the C-section that she was thinking "that is MY daughter who is going to have surgery; I don't know this baby yet, but MY daughter is having surgery. Tara has never had surgery!" I had never been in the hospital before Julia's birth!

I might write more details later about the experience in the O.R., but it was surreal, very out of my body, I was probably in shock, as it all happened so quickly. There are some silver linings I can share later and the hospital staff was wonderful throughout the whole process. I also will probably write more about my feelings of grief and loss about not having a natural childbirth experience, but Jai and Bonnie are telling me to stop and eat and rest. I have the best husband and mother EVER! : )

Julia's Birth Story: Part 1 (at home)

Apparently I was in labor all day Monday, December 8 ... didn't realize it for sure until quite late that evening. I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions for weeks and on Monday, the contractions seemed a little different, stronger, slightly more intense, but not anything I associated with labor "pains." They were uncomfortable, but not frequent, not lasting long, not what I expected. I'm at work, going about my daily routine, I think I might have seen a few students which I hope I didn't because would you want to talk with your school counselor while she's in labor? : ) Actually I joked with Niki that I wondered what if they were real labor contractions and I was in the bathroom and had the baby. You know like in a cheesy after school special or those random stories you hear about 'teenager has baby at prom.' I call out "hello, anyone there? " while I hold a slimy, newly born baby in the middle school's girl's bathroom. How possibly true this story could be you will learn as I tell the rest of this story.

So after work I decide to go to Target, I don't know why, just wanted to get a few items, nothing that crucial. However, I had a To Do list and wanted to cross these items off of it. So I'm walking to the check-out and I have the most intense back ache thing and thought I would pass out. Still I pay for my stuff, walk to my car, get in, drive home, still having the same kind of contractions (not like the one in Target) and I'm keeping track of the frequency (it hadn't been more than 3 in an hour and they were 15-20 minutes apart). However, now I'm wondering if these might be something real. I get home, decide not to go to water aerobics even though it's Monday which is my routine, head to the couch for my TV fix and knit (I have a hat I'm trying to finish before Dec. 20), still keeping track of frequency. Jai gets home around 6pm and I say "hey, don't want to worry you, not sure what's going on, but I'm having these contractions that seem different." Jai handled this info quite well, said something like "OK, so what do we do?" I said I don't know, just see what happens. He goes and gets one of our many pregnancy books : ) and reads some details and we decide to keep a true record, not just in my head, so I start noting the time and length of the contractions.

Again they were still 12-20 minutes apart and less than 40 seconds ... so we ate dinner, watched TV, I kept knitting. Around 9pm I couldn't take the stress anymore and went to take my evening shower. When I got into bed close to 10pm, I'm hoping to rest. I don't get a chance because an intense contraction happens and they continue to every 6-7 minutes. Now I'm thinking this is real, oh, my goodness, this is real. I tell Jai "hey, I need you to do some laundry, there's some stuff in the basement to wash, also clean my bathroom (he hadn't had a chance to do it on Sunday), make sure the dishes are done in the kitchen. You know all of those nesting activities people talk about, but I'm not able to do though I'm constantly getting up to go to the bathroom since I cannot relax. I also tell Jai he might want to come to bed so one of gets some sleep because this is REAL.

At about midnight Jai comes to bed and rubs my back which felt like heaven. Around 12:30am (Dec. 9) I feel this gush of fluid and I roll out of bed SO QUICK and fast walk to the bathroom where I discover that indeed that is my water breaking. I tell Jai and jump in the shower to wash off this slime while enduring another contraction. Jai calls our midwifery center and discovers that Soheyl is the midwife on call. YEAH!

I get out of shower, go to the bathroom again and discover more nastiness - green/brown version - which Jai reports to Soheyl who says that is meconium and she asks how far are we from the hospital (no more than 20 minutes) and instructs us to head there now. That's what I thought we were planning to do anyway, but I couldn't remember what the deal is with meconium (possibly some kind of distress for the baby). Luckily my hospital bag is packed (you know me, packed for weeks) so we get dressed, Jai puts Johnders in back yard (who knows what he's thinking, he never goes to the yard at 1am!), starts the car and puts our bags in the back while I make my way as fast as possible out the door.

We drive to the hospital which is strange because there are hardly any cars on the streets. Every bump in the road is annoying and the contractions are happening, but I have no idea of the frequency anymore. I forgot to track them. Jai says I barely grimaced or moaned, but they sucked!

TO BE CONTINUED ... "Julia's Birth Story: Part 1 (at the hospital)"

Amazement

I don't think I will ever be able to properly express how amazing Tara Johnson is.

Home soon.

Tara and Julia will be released from the hospital today instead of tomorrow.

As if anyone is surprised, Tara is the star of the post-partum floor. The baby has breast fed some amazing number of times, Tara is healing really well and she has been, in the words of the nursing staff, a self-sufficient patient.

Wooohoo!

Uh-oh, we've got a baby.

Calendar Challenged

Tara suggested she check the email before I sent it but I was confident in my ability to do it right.

I didn't take into consideration that I had been up for 30 hours and had watched Tara deliver a baby and that baby was mine and I had never held a newborn and it wasn't just a newborn it was my baby and it wasn't just my baby but it was my baby girl and I don't know anything about girls, how am I gonna be a father to a girl, what do girls do and holy crap! This is a real baby and so on and so on.

All that to say Julia was born 12/9/08.

Julia Frances - The Wait is Over

Please welcome Julia.

Vital Stats

• Born: 12/9/08 at 3:22am
  
• Weight: 6.9 pounds
  
• Height: 19 3/4 inches
  

Mom & Baby are doing fine.

Dropping

As with most parts of pregnancy, there are always exceptions and variations for each individual. I have been thinking that because the baby hasn't "dropped" (also called lightening) into position lower in my pelvis, that the baby will be hanging out a bit longer. Not necessarily.

Usually in first pregnancies lightening happens 2-4 weeks before delivery. However, a first-time mother could "drop" 4 weeks before due date and deliver 2 weeks "late" or go into labor without dropping at all. Another reminder that the baby controls its destiny and arrival - I'm just along for the ride! : )

Childbirth Education

Recently I had a fascinating conversation with Bonnie about our lack of childbirth education/preparation. Bonnie realized that neither I nor Jai had mentioned taking a class and wondered why. When I said we didn't take one, Bonnie was really concerned which surprised both of us. She kept asking how will we know what to do, how to breathe, be prepared for each stage of labor, on & on ... very unlike Bonnie's usually laid-back persona. I was not fazed; slightly perplexed by Bonnie's reaction but not questioning our decision. However, Bonnie wanted me to ask the midwife about the situation. : )

Therefore the next day, I (who usually has a list of questions, but that week didn't have any) discussed this particular question with the midwife. Basically it is not required or necessary, depends on the needs of the couple. Do we need information about Labor & Delivery process, newborn care, breastfeeding? It seems like the potential for information over-load, a large time commitment (class is 2 hours once a week for 6-8 weeks) as well as a financial cost.

Information can ease/alleviate anxieties and provide coping skills, but it is not necessary to get them via an organized class. There are lots of other ways to access information now (books, DVD, internet) and the midwife speculated that it could be a generational issue that developed out of a need for women to feel more empowered 30-40 years ago. It also depends on the personality of the couple. Some people are private and don't enjoy group experiences or being with strangers and others like sharing experiences about pregnancy and parenting.

The midwife shared that many midwifery clients do not attend childbirth classes. One reason is the different kind of prenatal care/interaction than with a traditional OB/GYN. I definitely agree that I converse often with the midwife about all kinds of questions which have occurred throughout the pregnancy.

Both of us read alot of books - that is one of our favorite ways to get information. We also saw the DVD "Business of Being Born" and saw lots of babies being born in a variety of settings and situations. Jai reads more stuff on the internet, but I do read some web-based resources. This weekend we spent some time talking about the stages of labor and possible issues and concerns, as well as ways, Jai can support me. It was helpful, but an organized childbirth education program isn't for us. We'll see how it goes very soon!

5 unexpectedly green gifts for baby

This is exactly what we have been talking about. People look at us with disbelief and confusion but we are not crazy.

5 unexpectedly green gifts for baby

We recognize that even in our circle of progressive friends our level of commitment to doing things in a socially & ecologically responsible way is higher than most. Tara and I come at this from from different backgrounds but we both see it as the best way to live our lives.

Sorry for the crosspost...

http://tjandbaby.blogspot.com
http://blackgreenenvironment.blogspot.com/

Remaining Needs - a gift is not necessary

People have been extremely generous and we are grateful. Many folks have respected our requests and given us organic cotton or gently used items from thrift stores and yard sales instead of buying new, which we really appreciate. We believe there are so many non-retail gift options that are a better use of resources, less wasteful and less expensive, BUT if you are still interested in sharing your love with gifts we hope you will consider the following.

The nursery is basically complete, just waiting for the baby! : )

**Bluntly and truthfully, we need money or gift certificates for the diaper service. Recently we made a few BIG purchases (changing pad, crib mattress & crib). All are eco-friendly and therefore more expensive. We also signed up for the diaper service which is a weekly expense so cash [or check : )] is really welcome. If money is not your thing, you can give us "coupons" for babysitting.

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**Books are always a great option. Unlike clothes, pacifiers and whatnot, books can be easily returned to any number of locations. If you want to buy books, shop local (Davis-Kidd, Fairytales Bookstore, if in Nashville) or shop online at Better World Books (check out Eco-Libris too). We already have several Dr. Seuss books as well as Goodnight Moon and Brown Bear, Brown, Bear so check with us about other popular titles we might already own.

**Another idea is a charitable donation. We received a gift in our baby's honor to Habitat for Humanity (thank you Fred & Barbara Cloud) as well as National Arbor Day Foundation's planting 25 Jack Pine trees (thanks Susie!). Another excellent charity in great need in Nashville, and probably at a similar organization in your community, is Second Harvest, a food bank. They can use financial as well as food donations during our current economic situation where need is high and donations are low.

** We suspect that some family & friends are waiting to know the gender so you can give us items in blue or pink or gender specific toys. Unless the items are gently used (i.e. your child used them), we'd rather not be a part of gender stereotyping. One of the reasons we didn't learn the gender before delivery was to avoid a lot of only one color. We like the variety and creativity that the surprise generates. Please join us "outside the box" where there truly is a rainbow of colors in addition to blue and pink. Besides, kids love them all.

Seriously, we do not need any more clothes, diapers, gadgets, gear...either we have it or we don't want it (although Jai can always find gear useful - no, don't encourage him!). We love gifts, but we don't want to nor will we have time to take a bunch of stuff back to a store we might not shop anyway (we are not Wal-Mart shoppers).

Thanks for your love and generosity, but try to keep our wishes and priorities in mind when you are shopping for a gift for our baby.

Respectfully, Tara & Jai

PS: Jai really wants to plant a big, expensive tree (Swamp White Oak) for the baby. He was told that it will be a good climbing tree in about 10 years. Talk to Jai or GroWild Nursery for details...

Waiting

I'm tired of waiting. 

Its feels like when I would have to wait for the year end report card. I was already on summer break, I knew they were coming but I didn't know when nor what they would look like. That's what this feels like.

WAAAAAA! 

Are you excited?

Everybody keeps asking me that.

I'm nervous not excited.

Nesting

Jai says people ask him whether I'm "nesting." His answer amuses me; actually the question amuses Jai because he asserts that I am always nesting in terms of organizing and cleaning. The role of cleaner for the most part is being played/performed by Jai the last month or so. I cannot get down there and clean stuff! It already takes me so much energy to take a shower, much less wield a mop.

Anyway, other than organizing stuff in the nursery which has been on-going as we acquired items, lately it has been "Kitchen Nesting." In particular the week of Thanksgiving when I was off from work (THANK GOODNESS!), I cooked up a storm. A serious storm! Ironically I didn't cook anything for Thanksgiving - I let Jai take that responsibility this year.

However, I cooked a ton of dishes to freeze. The title of week 38's "What To Expect" email was "Freeze It" and I did. I prepared penne pasta with marinara sauce, vegie lasagna, macaroni & cheese, tuna casserole, beefaroni, chicken pot pie, 2 soups (one with chicken, one vegetarian) and 3 desserts (banana bread, pumpkin bread and brownies).

We quickly ran out of room in our kitchen freezer so I sent Jai downstairs to the basement freezer with containers of food. On a funny note, he returned from the basement and said "there are a ton of bananas in that freezer." I forgot I had them - I put ripe bananas in the freezer and use them to make banana bread. Recently I couldn't believe I had run out, but there were no more in the kitchen freezer. This is really unusual because between co-workers who only like green bananas (slight exaggeration) and Bonnie, I always have lots of ripe ones and they make the best bread. Jai said "we'll run out of containers [for the many dishes I've created] before we run out of bananas!"

: )

Anyway, I exhausted myself which isn't good since I need more rest, not less, but somehow that seems to be part of the nesting phenomenon. Also all of the cooking really frustrated Jai - he kept asking "when do we get to eat all of this food?!" ... such a man comment. : ) I say "when the baby is here and we're too tired to get to the store and/or cook food." It is ready, take it from the freezer and throw it in the oven or a pot to heat. He'll thank me later!

I think I'm done with kitchen nesting. It really took a lot of energy and I need to conserve, especially since I don't sleep very well at night. I have enjoyed being pregnant for the most part, not many issues and complications, but I look forward to having my body back. The baby will control other parts of my body, but at least it will be different. Hopefully I won't have to go to the bathroom constantly or have persistent heartburn and I can sleep on my back ... I know, I know ... when I get sleep.

Jai did his own share of nesting last weekend. The mini-crib, crib mattress and changing pad arrived from Babyearth.com (company that uses organic cotton materials and eco-friendly & sustainable/renewable wood in their products). I discovered the mini-crib is available on Target's website so I'm a little sick that I used money instead of the plethora of Target gift cards we have. Anyway, he assembled the crib and it fits perfectly in the designated space in the nursery. He also secured the changing pad to the dresser so it is ready for diaper changing.

I put the crib sheets on the mattress and hung the two BEAUTIFUL knitted or crocheted blanklets we've received on the sides of the crib. It is a rockin' one (it can also be locked into a stationary position) which is really cool. Also the crib is light making it easy to move next to our bed which should be helpful and convenient with breastfeeding, especially in the middle of the night.

It really is looking like a nursery!

Midwife Visits # 5-9

I haven't written much about my recent midwife appointments. I started going more frequently so I couldn't keep up plus they're not that different. I arrive, nurse gets my weight and blood pressure, I wait to see the midwife, I have a list of issues and questions, we converse, it is pleasant.

Between visits # 5 and 6 (only 3 weeks), I gained 10 pounds so that's not anything to rush home and write! : ) I don't know what happened - maybe too many Gigi's cupcakes, Cheetos and tater tots from Sonic (yes, these have been my pregnancy vices) - and not enough biking and water aerobics. Fortunately when I returned 2 weeks later, I was at the same weight - 10 pounds in 5 weeks was more acceptable. Actually the past 2 weeks I have gained minimal weight - 1-2 pounds thankfully.

I joked with the nurse about taking off my shoes, bracelet, earrings, anything I could. Maybe I'll stop looking at the number; however, I doubt that will happen - I like to know the number. Same with my blood pressure which rarely differs - usually 110/68 t0 115/75. Jai is SO jealous since he really struggles with his blood pressure. Even being pregnant and carrying an extra 35 pounds is not making it change.

What else?
Heartburn is still happening. I'm hoping for some relief when the baby drops, but so far no such luck (in droppage or heartburn cessation). Midwife says it might not decrease - hormones or something. Even if the heartburn persists I wish the baby's butt would get out of my chest, it's so HIGH! (what does that mean - boy or girl?)

Breastfeeding - really curious, nervous, excited to see how it all works. I'm determined to make it happen. It's FREE, always perfect for your baby, available at any time, easily digestible, and FREE. Formula is expensive, requires equipment, not always digestible, potentially contributes to possible allergies, and recently we read about some recalls. Breast milk doesn't get recalled.

• The midwife gave me some good suggestions and resources. Not a surprise! : )
• I've read 2-3 books from the library. Good information!
• I attended a La Leche League (LLL) meeting in November. Really nice women!

At this point, I plan to work with the lactaction consultant at the hospital and utilize the doula gift certificate. I also have support from Jai and Bonnie, my 2 most important champions in this effort. I intend to attend LLL meeting again, if not in December (depends on baby's arrival since near due date), definitely in January.

Birth Plan - gave them a copy to put in my file which will be in my chart at the hospital; one page, succinct and to the point, hoping all will be simple with no or few complications or meds necessary. The midwife is very encouraging and supportive of the no meds stance. I'm excited to do it - I'm really curious how my body will handle birth from the physical, mental and emotional perspectives.

Braxton-Hicks contractions - yep, I started to experience these suckers about 1-2 weeks ago. They are good preparation of the uterus for labor & delivery, bit of pressure, hardening of my belly. Good heads up of more intense contractions to come during the real deal. They are not too frequent (not more than 4 in an hour and not painful), just ever present as a reminder that birth is imminent. A baby will be here this month - we will be parents very soon!