Why Midwifery?

Some people might wonder why we're using a midwife instead of a traditional OB/GYN. One reason is I'm not very traditional. I'm a simple person when it comes to health care. Other than managing my asthma which is fairly mild at this point in my life, I lead a healthy life (eat organic "whole foods" as much as possible, exercise frequently, don't smoke) and usually go to my primary care physician once a year. I rarely use over-the-counter and prescription medications (as needed for my asthma). A drug-free kind of child birth fits my model of health care and midwifery seems like a natural fit. I could go "natural" with an OB/GYN, but the traditional medical model is potentially a lot more intrusive than I want. "You could have complications so let's check on everything rather than seeing me as a normal pregnant person."

Having said all that, it has been fascinating working with the West End Women's Health Center because it seems like a compromise of traditional midwifery and traditional obsterics practices. Throughout June and July I read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth which basically tells the story of midwifery. Ina May is famously known from the midwifery practice at The Farm in Summertown, TN. I heard about The Farm often as a child of the 70's & 80's because one of my mom's good friends was a resident and currently is a midwife/instructor in Knoxville, TN. I have always had a positive association with The Farm and its values/tenets of living in community.

However, I didn't know much more about midwifery and this book is very informative and confirms my beliefs about how I want my child birth experience to be. Even at my AMA (advanced maternal age) I am not interested in having many of the diagnostic tests performed and that has been somewhat in conflict with SOP (standard operating procedure) even at WEWHC which surprises me. These tests used to be done for a specific medically driven concern - older age of mother, family history of genetic disorder, or some other genuine reason. With technological and medical developments as well as fear of malpractice, it seems like these tests have become standard and expected for all rather than rare and only truly necessary for a few.

Pregnancy and child birth are a normal part of life; women have been having children for centuries with the assistance of midwives. Actually outside of the United States, midwifery is much more common - something like 90% of women in the world use a midwife, only 5-10% use a different model. In the US, it is the opposite - only about 5-10% of American women use a midwife and most of those are affiliated with a hospital. Ironically that reminds me of the issue of last names when a WOMAN gets married. About 8% of women retain her "maiden" last name or hyphenate - 92% change to her husband's (in a heterosexual model). Once again I'm a non-traditionalist!

There is the convenience of insurance connected with using the WEWHC versus giving birth at The Farm or at home. It is still significantly cheaper to give birth using a midwife, even at the hospital - so I'm told by the WEWHC office manager. However, these lab tests cost money (someone pays for it) as well as being intrusive, possibly painful and potentially harmful to the fetus in addition to any emotional and mental anguish depending on the results.

At the end of my most recent visit to the midwife (not Soheyl again), she mentioned that at my next visit (28 weeks) I would have the test done for gestational diabetes. I said that I wasn't going to do the test and she looked up, seemingly surprised and said "not at all." I didn't understand that comment because I thought you have it or you don't. I said "not at all." Then she said she'd leave a note for my primary midwife who would prepare something for me to sign stating that I was declining the test. Interestingly enough it wasn't presented as a possible test to take and here's some information about why or why not to do it. It was presented as a standard test to have done.

I've read about the test - I don't have any of the symptoms. I haven't had fast weight gain, I don't eat much processed foods, I exercise, I don't have a family history of diabetes, and I eat because I'm hungry. Also I don't want to drink some sugary gunk, wait for an hour for them to take some blood and see if my blood sugar is high. That isn't natural!

I am happy with the WEWHC in general. When I asked the midwife about Labor & Delivery at Vanderbilt - can you move around, what kind of fetal monitoring is used, can you eat & drink, what about bath/showers, limits on labor time before induction, how do they feel about a birth plan, having people at the delivery, etc. - I received pleasing and comforting answers. The number of C-sections performed is low and there isn't pressure to get an epidural; it sounds like a more relaxed attitude about natural child birth which I would expect with midwifery.

POTATO Consignment Sale

Again I've already mentioned that I'm thrifty. Well, there are gods (goddesses, too) and angels giving me such wonderful information. POTATO is Parents of Twins And Triplets Organization. My mother isn't a member - not sure of the year of its foundation. However, my friend, Krissie, is. Her due date is Dec. 14, day after mine; however, since she's having twins I suspect she'll deliver her baby girls before me.

I had invited her to a consignment sale in July, but neither of us could go. Then Krissie told me about the organization's sale on August 23. I marked my calendar of course, but after the first few weeks of school I wasn't feeling too much like going. Something made me and ironically I got there at 12:30pm when most everything is 1/2 off. : )

Initially I was quite overwhelmed. The sale takes place in a large gym at a local middle school and there is tons of stuff scattered around this massive space. You receive a laundry basket when you enter and the place is divided into categories I discovered as I moved around. The clothes are divided by gender (boy, girl) and age groups (example: newborn, 3-6 months, 6-12 months, 2T, 3T, possibly all the way to 5T).

I looked at a few things - breast pump, crib sets, blankets - but I'm not too sure what we really need. Also I didn't really know what to expect and how much some items cost. I called Jai who searched online and checked prices for a Boppy and a Baby Bjorn. Both were significant discounts ($2 & $7.50 each with the 1/2 discount) and I got excited at buying these items on the cheap! I picked up a Boppy cover for $4 as well as 4 receiving blankets and 2 burp cloths, too.

Then I saw baby clothes and it was on! Quite quickly I filled the basket with five adorable sleepers of various sizes and colors (all gender neutral - greens, yellows, browns, oranges) as well as 7 onesies (Days of the week), 3 hats (Winnie the Pooh; I love Pooh!), 6 pairs of socks (so tiny!), a hooded bath towel, a couple of shirt & pants sets, two rompers (the Panda one is my favorite), two PJ sets, and What To Expect the First Year.

TOTAL = $38.50

... SHUT UP! A Boppy alone costs more than $30!

It's awesome! Amazingly like the used maternity clothes, the stuff is in good shape, especially for messy babies. However, they grow out of clothes quickly too. A couple of items had the original tag - never worn!

As I was checking out and paying I saw more sections with videos, toys, strollers, mattresses, high chairs, even maternity clothes. I had to stop, but I learned that there is a sale in April. I cannot wait to go and get more clothes for hardly any money! : )

Side note: The volunteers working the sale are POTATO and were extremely nice and helpful; one woman, a former co-worker, is Krissie's mentor. It truly is a small world. Also the financial cost is a big savings for Jai & I, but these parents also are making back some of the money they've spent on their children. It's a big circle.

Recycle, reuse, reduce!

Baby Gates are up!

YEAH!!!! Finally the gates are up!

Some of you might be wondering why now, seems so soon - the baby isn't even here, much less crawling. Well, we have a dog. For the past year we've closed doors to barricade areas of the house from Johnders' natural curiosity and exploration. However, we don't have a door to the staircase. This leads to the upstairs which is the Forbidden City for Johnders. Thankfully our friends, Kathy & Brian (Johnders' foster family before we "adopted" him), loaned us a baby gate. We used it to bar the stairwell ... with a glitch ... it doesn't fit exactly and going up & down the stairs has been a chore.

After much cajoling and fascinating discussion about the eventual need for a baby gate at the bottom and top of the stairs (I could be sexist and say "Men!", but I think it's more ignorance) Jai found what we liked AND installed a pair of black metal gates that coordinate nicely with our iron rails. We're getting used to the latches and by the time the baby is crawling around we'll be pros at opening and closing them and keeping everyone safe. Actually I enjoy the one at the top of the staircase because of my frequent trips to the bathroom during the night! : )

Ultrasound #2 (20 weeks)

We went for visit #3 on July 28 and this time Jai met Soheyl who I think is really cool. He agrees! : ) All was OK. I only gained 2 pounds since the last visit 6 weeks ago which is a freaking miracle considering I went to England and Seattle where I ate tons. Basically I feel like all I do is eat, sleep and go to the bathroom CONSTANTLY!

This time we heard the heartbeat with the Doppler machine - very cool sound. However, what we thought was our scheduled ultrasound time because it is 20 weeks was not matched up with this appointment; it's a different office and it wasn't coordinated correctly (partly my fault). Unfortunately they didn't have an appointment that worked for us until the next week. It's hard for us to coordinate getting off work. Mostly we were disappointed because we were traveling to South Carolina for Jai's family reunion and wanted to share recent pics. Oh, well, they just got me! : )

The next week we got there early (Jai was off because of our trip, but I had to get to work to get ready for school orientation) and almost immediately got seen by the tech. We were told it would take 30-45 minutes because they take a ton of photos at 20 weeks to check for anatomy normality. It didn't seem to take that long though the baby wasn't always cooperating with the tech. She kept "bouncing" the gadget on my stomach (not gently) to "encourage" my alien to move to a desired position. Thankfully the tech was respectful of our request to not learn the gender. We want to be surprised.

We saw spine, fingers, liver (she said) and other body parts I really couldn't see, but I expressed my marvel. Later I mentioned my inability to see some of what the the tech identified and Jai says "really, you couldn't see that?" No, I couldn't see my baby's stuff! : )

Jai would like to add:

this goes to our different styles. Tara is a literalist, she needs specifics. I, on the other hand, can extrapolate from basics...assume, if you will. Once my ophthalmologist told me - my prescription was way out of date - that I was a good blur interpreter.