2010 - A New Year in Parenting

So I retired the breast pump on Julia's first birthday.
That was an awesome feeling!

The rest of that week and the next one before Winter Break I still nursed her 2-4 times each day. Before I left for work, when I got home from work and at bedtime, and then sometimes if Julia woke at 1-2am. During the 2 weeks of Winter Break I was home and decided to drop the evening feeding and mostly she slept through the night so I was down to 2 feedings.

Now that it is 2010, I'm really ready to wean Julia for real!

Yesterday I didn't feed her in the morning before I left for work or when I got home. I fed her after dinner, then I went to a 6:30pm Zumba class at the Y while Jai gave her a bath and read book before she went to sleep at 7pm. She slept ALL night and I fed her this morning because I had a vicious knot in my right breast. However, I'm going to feed her at bedtime tonight and not tomorrow morning; eventually my body will adjust.

I think that will be the LAST nursing session to drop - she likes her bedtime one, very comforting. In the morning not nursing is easier because she wakes and gets solid foods.

2009 was the year of breastfeeding Julia & working, but not much else.

2010 is the year of reading books with Julia and getting my body back in lean, mean, fighting shape. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by June and tone some of this flabby flesh! My friend Pauline's wedding on June 13 is a good time frame - 5 months. Then hopefully we're going to tennis camp after the nuptials. : ) I'd like to play in the tennis league this spring also - so I can be ready for camp.

Jai writes about the discoveries and wonders of Julia which makes sense because he is home with her most of the time. I enjoy reading his reflections - I see some of what I miss and am reminded of the funny & interesting things I witness too. Hopefully I will write more about the new phases of parenting Julia as I transition into different roles.

Modified Still Insane Daily Schedule

As with everything with a baby, once I get used to a routine, then the baby changes it! : ) That is hard for me, I like consistency, not a fan of change; however, that is my life now.

Actually I started this post in Sept. and finished it in Nov.
Obviously, my life ran away from me! Work will be busy always and when I get home, the same applies. I want to spend time with Julia & Jai, too. She's lots of fun now - really always! Once she goes to bed, then I get ready for the next day.

Now that Julia eats food, we eat dinner together. Occasionally she stares at our food. We speculate that she wonders when she'll get to eat salad and ground turkey. Julia loves her food - banana is still her favorite & soy yogurt. Now she adores oats! I believe oats are my saving grace - she started sleeping 10-11 hours at night recently. She goes to sleep at 7p & wakes around 6:30am. It's quite lovely!

Again some of this is temporary. Pumping at work ends soon. December 8 is the ONE year end zone - my ultimate goal! If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - hopefully 1-2 times a day.

Back Home

I didn't write ANYTHING after that first day back to work. Once the euphoria of freedom evaporated into a cloud of exhaustion, I don't have time to write blog posts. I wake early to get everything ready for work, feed Julia and myself, then I'm out the door, usually early which has been refreshing for my co-workers. As soon as the work day is complete, meaning the school bell has rung and kids dismissed for the buses, my stuff is packed and I head home.

Once home I'm excited to see Jai and Julia, but the work continues. I clean pumping gear, take a shower, feed Julia, eat dinner, visit with Jai, feed Julia again, and get ready for bed (all from 5-9pm). Once Julia started sleeping consistently throughout the night (about first week in May) I get more constant, longer stretches of sleep and I feel much better and stronger. Still exhausted, but people tell us that will be the case for a few years.

I am glad to be home, I was ready for the school year to end. 4 weeks was a good amount of time to "test the waters," see how pumping went, see how Julia & Jai did, give Tara a break from 10 hours/day in baby world.

After being home ONE day and Julia didn't nap well AT ALL, I greeted Jai at the door with my car keys and purse and said "see you later." I left Julia in the bouncy seat in the hall. I went to the grocery store, we needed food, but I needed a BREAK! Already! : )

Luckily like most adjustments, I know I'll get there. I'm glad to not be pumping 3 times a day - that's stressful. It actually made me appreciate the art & beauty & simplicity of breastfeeding. Pumping is necessary when we're apart, but otherwise I don't want to do it. The next 8 weeks will fly by and I know Julia & I will have a great time together. We usually do.

I suspect I'll be ready to go back to work, too! : )

Office Crushes

I've had a job every year of my life since I was 15. I have had at least one crush on a coworker at everyone of those jobs, although I don't remember much about the object of affection on my first job (Friedman's Army Surplus). Most of these were purely physical attraction, most of the objects were attached to somebody else and I wouldn't have had the nerve to ask any of them out anyway. Part personality, shyness, and part ethics, I always thought it would be difficult - if not, wrong - to date someone at the same time you worked with them.

As I got older these crushes became more mature ranging from attraction to brother-sister to "work spouse" and sometimes a combo. It brightens my day to see these people (almost exclusively women - I don't think I would call my guy friends crushes, although I have had a man-crush or two). Working with them makes the day go by faster and makes me feel like some burden has been lifted a little.

Having become a part-time stay-at-home dad I have developed my biggest crush ever. Julia has me smitten. She wakes up and it takes a split second for her to realize where she is or who I am but she gives me a big gummy smile that melts me. I hear her talk or screech wherever I am and I have to smile. I walk in the room when she is sleeping and I can just stare at her for an eternity. Time flies when we are playing or reading or eating...the things you have to do when your work is to care for a child. But it might be a case of too much of a good thing isn't so good.

I don't get near as much work done when I am around her. The slightest things she doesn't keep me hanging on for more. I can't seem to get the laundry or cleaning done but I have made pretty good use of my time. Anyway, I thought it was approipriate (possibly the first time an office crush is appropriate!!) to share my newest office crush.

FIRST DAY BACK!

Today was my first day back to work at school. It was a GOOD day! It was wonderful to leave Julia with Jai and get in my car and drive here. I called Susie at 7:50am (even though it is 2 hours earlier she was ignoring her snooze button) and said "guess where I am?!" She was not as enthusiastic as she is ready for the end of the school year. Perspective!

I was early, too, which was a good idea since I needed to clean and reorganize my office space. Since it had been so long, had another occupant (you know how I am about cleanliness), and to set up my pumping station. My co-workers were so happy and excited to see me. All day when I saw co-workers, they said "good to have you back." So nice and welcoming!

I had over 500 emails!
I didn't read all of them - many were irrelevant at this point.

There was a situation/conflict between some 6th grade students at about 9am - luckily my colleague handled it for me because I had to pump ... and I'm a little rusty on counseling!

One of the students said: "You look different ... you used to be skinny."
I said "remember I was pregnant" ... (nothing, no change in response or attitude).
I repeated myself ... (again NOTHING!).
I said "I have a baby" (I am slightly annoyed) and walked away.
Later my colleague said she heard the student say "oh, baby fat."
OMG! Too much! : )

I pumped 3 times and the total was 11 3/4 ounces which is pretty good. I'll see how much Julia eats today. Luckily I have milk in the freezer to help supplement any shortfall.

Today also marked Barack Obama's First 100 days as President of the U.S.
Overall a really good day.

GMS visit

I didn't write about my first visit to work with Julia because that was the day of the doctor visit and the weight issue. However, today's trip to Goodlettsville Middle School was no different in terms of the quest to love on Julia. She gets tons of compliments - beautiful, precious, adorable, gorgeous. I try to be clever and say "Julia would say thank you if she could" even though a plain thank you is expected. Someone even commented on her brilliant book-handling skills which might be advanced for a 4 month old.

My two immediate co-workers who witnessed and experienced most of my pregnancy are truly hilarious about who gets to hold Julia first and how long. They also monitor other people's interactions with her, even with Niki! Actually it is kind of nice to have someone else police other people with the baby.

However, their interactions with each other about Julia are the most entertaining. The following are some of their comments:

"I don't want to wait to hold her and then she'll be all tired and cranky ... like last time."
"I can hold Julia while you two catch up."
"If she wanted a white lady to hold her, she has Grandma Bonnie."

(one of my co-workers is black and one is white) (that is my favorite quote!)

We all are excited to have me return to work in a few weeks; however, I suspect they really want Julia to come, too! : )

Returning to my other job: 4 more weeks

I am scheduled to return to work at Goodlettsville Middle School on April 29. That is when my FMLA ends; otherwise I have to pay 100% of our health insurance (don't want to do that - EXPENSIVE!).

If I don't go back and get on payroll, I won't get paid this summer. 3 more months of no income is not a good choice, especially with the current economic situation.

I'm looking forward to leaving the house and driving to work in my car ALONE. 20 minutes of commuting alone time - ahhh, sounds wonderful! No carpool either, sorry environment!

I love you, Julia, but mommy needs a break.

Bonus: it will be only 4 weeks before June and then I'll be home again for 2 months. Jai will get a practice run at being a SAHD (stay-at-home-dad).

TIME ALONE
MONEY
HEALTH INSURANCE
WORK COMPETENCE - I hope after 4 months I still have it! : )
4 WEEKS UNTIL SUMMER BREAK
JOY TO RETURN AND SEE JULIA

Those are some good things about returning to work!

Pumping - it can be a good thing

See "Free at Last" for early days

In late January we bought the Medela Pump in Style breast pump as recommended by the first lactation consultant. Kind of wish we'd rented a hospital grade pump first to see how it went. Oh, well, live & learn. It enabled me to get some breaks and keep Julia fed ... or so I thought!

Then the weight crisis happened & I used the pump EVERY DAY 6 times a day. Not so much a fan of the breast pump now.

However, it is very helpful to make sure you drain the breast and make more milk, especially needed to supplement the few weeks in February. It was nice to take a break in early March once Julia gained consistently.

Wish I could use it more for opportunities to be away from Julia (I love her, but I need a break sometimes) ... however, it is a double-edged sword. It gives milk to whomever is watching her so she's happy and the adult is happy (hopefully), but unless I have the pump with me, my window of freedom is short (2-3 hours max) as the breasts become full and engorged and uncomfortable. Just writing the word "engorged" seems uncomfortable.

Now I'm creating a stash as I prepare to return to work in a month - try to pump once or twice in the morning when the breasts usually have more milk. I've decided to go back, especially as it is for 4 weeks, it is the end of school year, hopefully a less stressful time. Thankfully my FMLA ends after TCAP testing is finished - YEAH! It has been a long time since I didn't have to deal with TCAP.

Hopefully though once I'm at work, I'll be able to produce enough milk to keep her fed the next day. We will see ...