OCD or normal pre-school behavior?

Jai told me that Julia puts the crayons back in the box in a particular way. From what we can tell, right now it only seems as if she lines the crayons with the brand name facing up, nothing more, like we haven't noticed that they have to be in a certain color order. It's really funny as she says "no" if one of us does it differently & she'll change it.

She does something else that seems very particular, but I cannot remember what it is. I'll add it if I remember. Some behaviors are like any of ours, learned habits, normal, yet I wonder if some of it is due to my OCD tendencies. She observes & repeats EVERYTHING, you know!

Fascinating stuff!

Sense of community via church

Tara & I don't see eye to eye on religion & church. There's no animosity or antagonism; we just had very different experiences as kids - both of us had positive church childhoods but they served different purposes & made different impressions on us. Now it is our turn to show Julia what it means to be a part of a community & I have to figure out where church fits in. I'll try to stay away from the spirituality & talk about church as a place and community.

I grew up in a traditional Episcopal Church. The liturgy was celebrated with mid to high levels of formality & pomp. We had red velvet kneeler s, we faced the alter, we lightly genuflected when we entered the pew or the cross passed us. My mom & I went to early service which meant no music from our historic pipe organ & small choir but when I got older I became an acolyte for that late service and got to experience the orthodoxy of the liturgy (washing of the priests' hands, assisting at the communion rail, solemn lighting & snuffing of candles, etc. I liked this formality & ritual. All of which was reinforced when I started to attended catholic school. As far as I was concerned, this is what church was supposed to look & feel like. The rituals of the service & what we did in Sunday school (plus Christmas & Easter programs) was pretty much the extent of my youth church experience. If we did youth programs, other than youth Sunday (Easter) and outreach I never knew about it. If we did youth camp I never went. Whatever outreach & community involvement our church did was the domain of adults. I was heavily involved with the Boy Scouts & it is possible that my church did things but I was already booked for something else but I do not remember anything like helping the underprivileged in the area or food banks or summer camp or retreats or even pizza nights. I remember I saw my fellow youth parishioners on Sunday morning & that was pretty much it.

Tara grew up in a modern, relaxed community focused Methodist Church. The church was purposefully started in a black community. It began with community involvement & social justice in mind. It is, to this day, an activist church. It is a congregation filled with people who have social justice at the top of their agenda within & outside the church. The liturgy is relaxed & comforting in its familial atmosphere; kids are active in the service, there are rocking chairs for those who need them & you see people knitting during service. They use gender neutral language in their prayers & include the congregation in parts of the service like the prayers of the people & even some responses to the gospel. The youth ministry, as I hear Tara & her friends (the first generation of children in the church) talk, always did & continues to have camps & events. They also had mission trips & fed the hungry or helped the homeless. Her friends from her childhood, who are still friends, are church friends, not neighbors or school friends. My childhood friends, the few there are, are from school & the neighborhood. Tara & Julia go almost every Sunday. Julia's Godparents are all church related (Susie is also her Aunt but still, Tara & Susie went to church together). This is what church will look like & be like for Julia.

One thing I love about the church is how they work to have the children participate in & understand the liturgy. Weekly this involves, at the least, the smaller children helping with the communion gifts. After the bread & wine have made it around their halves of the communion circle some of the children meet the pastor in the middle & carry the gifts back up to the altar - part of a loaf of bread, a chalice - & place the items on the table so that the service may continue. A few Sundays ago, Julia carried some of the bread back to the table & she did it with joy & confidence. The way I heard it was the number of kids was limited & Julia was willing. We know she's extraordinarily observant &, like all kids, she wants to do what the older kids do. She goes to church often enough where she knew what was being asked of her & took to it like the diligent toddler she is. I have no qualms or doubts that is this the way to build a sense of community responsibility. This is the type of environment where a child learns what is acceptable behavior as well as where children learn to see themselves as a part of that something larger. Although Tara & I experienced & continue to experience church & spirituality in different ways we both agree that being a part of a church community - a spiritual community - is a way to gain appreciation for being a responsible part of any community to which you are a part.

NO nap today!

Right now I'm listening to the sounds of Julia having a grand time in her crib - NOT SLEEPING! It's hilarious!

Much better than an hour ago when she was screaming & crying - not sure why since she usually goes to sleep with no problem. Not today - so odd! I hope it doesn't mean the end of daytime nap is near. I think she's off her routine with me home for 2 weeks.

BUMMER! I really wanted a nap, too! : )

White Christmas by Julia

Disclaimer: we (my parents) cannot remember my log-in so I (Julia) am relying on Tara (AKA Mommy) to write my blog post. Just as I do with my correspondence I have to rely on the help of adults. Also the delay has meant that it really is 1-11-11, not actually Christmas, that this post is being finished. That being said, the sentiment is real. : )

It has not happened in MANY years in Nashville - we heard it has been 17 years! None of us were here - I wasn't born of course, Mommy was in Thailand & Daddy was in Baton Rouge in 1993. Actually this wasn't the first snow of the season either. On Dec. 12 snow fell all day & night; Mommy was at home, schools closed, on Dec. 13 & 14. It was great! So pretty to watch as the snow fell, everything covered in a blanket of white, less people moving about the streets, the silence, lovely.

That's what the adults tell me. We didn't really explore this first snow or even the stuff on Christmas. Mommy doesn't like the cold & I don't know why Daddy didn't take me outside to play as he does. Anyway, we did yesterday as it snowed AGAIN on a Sunday night & Mommy is home again on a Monday & Tuesday! She's afraid she won't get out of school until late June & have less time at the swimming pool. We are having fun being together which is the point.

Anyway, we had a nice Christmas holiday, our simple style of celebrating. Christmas Eve we slept late (relative concept in a house with a small child), Mommy baked all morning (she's been baking all week, some of which we've been able to eat!) & I took my regular mid-day nap. Then we went to Grandma Bonnie & Poppy's Soup & Cider Party. FUN! People, food, lots to see! We went to church for Christmas Eve service & we carried the baby Jesus to the alter (Mommy goofed & put him in the center, instead of by Mary & Joseph). So cool to be a part of the service! Home for dinner & bed at regular time.

Christmas Day started as any other, oatmeal for breakfast & basically hanging out. Reading books, playing with Johnders, visiting with Uncle Joel. My 3 favorite things! : ) At lunchtime, Grandma Bonnie, Poppy & friend, Lois arrived & we ate our Christmas meal of soup & bread. Traditionally Southern New England clam chowder with white sweet potatoes this year (yum!) & cheese herb bread (Kwanzaa recipe Mommy has been making for about 10 years). While I took usual mid-day nap, they talked & had a grand time. GB, B & L left before it got too dark & we read some more books, I took my Saturday bath & went to bed. It was a regular yet special day, good time with family.

Merry Christmas!
Love, Julia

Un-American ??

Basically that's what a friend called us for not participating in the consumer side of Christmas. "We're not stimulating the economy, not taking part in capitalism." I know we're different & sometimes I'm sad for Julia to not have the whole experience of waking up on Christmas morning to a tree with lots of presents under it. I have fond memories of the anticipation & excitement & watching my sister, brother & parents open their presents too. However, we don't want to spend our money or energy that way. Plus she's so young, it's just like with her birthday, she enjoys opening the present for the paper factor, but the gift is not that important.

I was watching an interview on "The Today Show"about this video of a 3 year old boy last Christmas opening a gift & it was a book. His response was negative, basically books are not gifts. Parent sent video to some friends (she thought it was funny), it got on Youtube, went viral, got 1 million hits or something. Child is 4 now, mom & boy are on TV being interviewed, he's cute, quite a ham actually, funny, mom explains that he loves books, defending her child's behavior. Then interviewer presents a gift to the boy, he opens it to reveal Woody doll from "Toy Story 3" (nice product placement) & the response is "I already have it." Not grateful or excited & I know he's 4, but that is spoiled & unattractive behavior. Eventually after prompting from mom, he says thank you.

In contrast to material gift exchange, we like the simple celebration, spending time with family & friends, going to church on Christmas Eve, eating a home cooked meal, having nice conversations. We don't know what the future holds, we might change our traditions as Julia gets older, but right now she enjoys looking at her "Christmas in the Manger" book (thanks, Aunt Niki!). She calls out the characters - star, donkey, ram, ox, shepherds, wise people, Mommy (Mary) & baby Jesus - as we read the story. That is what I want her understanding of Christmas to be!

Good Hair

Recently we watched this documentary produced & narrated by comedian Chris Rock. We learned so much, even my brother, Joel, learned something even though he knew way more than Jai & I. It was funny & scary at the same time.

Really I am totally ignorant about black hair ... because I have "good" hair. I feel fortunate, but also disappointed at what seems unethical & criminal. It's outrageous what is happening in the hair industry, for black people in particular. Unbelievable how much it costs to maintain hair - either to get relaxer &/or perm or to have a weave. I had no idea!

It's a huge business, most not owned by black people unfortunately. We all make choices about how to spend our time & money, but I wish we didn't think our kinky, frizzy, curly hair was bad & went to such monetary & chemically dangerous means to change it to a perceived idea of goodness. Black hair is beautiful in whatever form it is.

Julia's hair is a combination of both of our hair. Some parts is more smooth, others have more curl. We've ignored it for the most part which is what I usually do with my hair & Jai, too, since he keeps his short. We're both very low maintenance with hair. However, not sure if that's the best approach with Julia's hair since it's different.

We bought some detangler product by Kiss My Face (like their stuff) & Julia liked it, but it really wasn't the right stuff. I asked some black female friends for suggestions & got some ideas, but didn't do anything. So last week after trying to brush the "hot mess" that ignoring created, I bought a "curl moisturizing styling" product by Tiny Twirls (part of Kinky Kurls), with a photo of a little brown skinned girl on the front. I also bought a new brush as we think that was part of the problem. It seems to work, Julia is more agreeable to us brushing her hair - she likes to hold the bottle. Her hair is softer & now we usually pull it back in an afro puff which she enjoys saying.

"Puff." : )

Oh, Belmont!

That is what I said after I heard about the firing of the soccer coach, Lisa Howe. I saw part of BU's president's explanation that is wasn't for reasons related to sexuality & I hope it wasn't. Unfortunately we probably won't know the real reasons, especially because of some confidentiality agreement, but it makes me wonder. I know there are TONS of reasons why people are fired. Fortunately this event has sparked a huge wave of discussion amongst BU students, faculty, as well as community members here in Nashville & elsewhere. Discrimination is not OK regardless of being a private institution & especially a Christian-based one. It's so anti-Christian to be hateful & exclusive & not welcoming of all of God's children. Another positive is that BU didn't have any kind of written policy or anything otherwise about sexuality in regards to admission, hirings, terminations, etc. so now there is something. There's a really good article in last week's Nashville Scene. I liked Lisa's comment to end the article - "I'm just a soccer coach at heart." It makes me think about the recent repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" guideline in the military. People just want to live their lives, do their jobs, be with their families, without recrimination.

Daddy Shift

This book by Jeremy Adam Smith is really interesting. I know you wonder how I have time to read all these books I write about on the blog. I wonder too! However, I'm pretty sure this book (Jai bought it last year I think) is one I'd been reading for most of this year. I have a book in different locations - my bedside, near my stationary bike (doesn't get read often), living room for non-TV/computer day (doesn't get read often either), bathroom, car (rarely gets read, I think I've been reading "Under the Tuscan Sun" for 3-4 years!). I read parts of each one periodically & occasionally I finish one. So I was sick a few weeks ago AGAIN & taking naps on the weekends when Julia sleeps & I usually read a bit before I get drowsy (just like at night). However, I couldn't sleep long because of coughing so I kept reading this book & finally finished it.

The sub-title is How Stay-At-Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms, & Shared Parenting are Transforming the American Family. It's a non-fiction book, a series of case studies of different families in various locations around the U.S. It's a combination of anthropology, sociology & psychology, my 3 faves, describing how these families work together to support each other & care for children. JAS weaves in comparisons of how public policy in other countries has changed what parenting looks like for both men & women & their relationships with their children in a positive direction (usually). Both parents have opportunities to stay home for 6-12+ months with their young child, with support financially, culturally & employment-wise. I like the word OPPORTUNITY. That is what it is to take care of your child. I'm glad I had my 6 months with Julia, but full-time care for a child is not my calling.

Often I say to Jai how much I wished we lived in Spain, or now Finland is my new favorite, because of the family friendly parental leave practices & support for breastfeeding. I realized after I finished reading this book, that it definitely would be great to live in Spain as that is one of our life goals, but Finland is too cold for me. : ) However, the other realization is that change is happening in the U.S., slow change, but still happening. There are more men & women switching who stays home & cares for children & who goes to work outside the home. For those children, that will be normal, not non-traditional, so a new model is being constructed.

Read the book if you have a chance.

Abstract Expressionism

I have no idea what "abstract expressionism" art looks like but Julia showed some abstract expression in her artwork yesterday.

We bought Julia some crayons a couple of weeks ago and she has been scribbling up a storm. Most of it is just that, scribbles, but yesterday she "drew" something she knew. In one quick, furious motion she make a scribble and screamed "Alpha!" (Alpha is the name of one of Grandma Bonnie's cats...its not a pet, its a stray.), then to another part of the page she did it again and screamed "Omega!" (again, another of Grandma Bonnie's stray pet cats), then "Splotches!", and so on until she came round to Alpha again.

To my eyes this is pretty spectacular. She remembered one of the cats, scribbled her representation and did it to each distinct animal. Each scribble looked like a scribble but each was in a different spot of the paper. This might be typical for a 2 year old but I think its pretty amazing.

Julia is 2!

Hard to believe, but she is!

She is amazing, quite the toddler, running everywhere, talking ALL the time, tons of fun.

Actually according to Jai's developmental emails he receives each month, Julia is now a pre-schooler. That seems too early - she's not old enough! However, she needs some kind of school experience & structure in a year or so, definitely by 4, especially when we have another child. She's such a big girl!

It was so fun to see her in the morning & wish her "Happy Birthday." Her face broke into a HUGE smile. I think she understands it - or at least enjoys the attention which is normal.

Her birthday celebration was our typical laid back, nothing fancy, style. I made her favorite (& easy) applesauce cake, also we had some homemade ice cream which she loves. This year it included Grandma Bonnie & Uncle Joel, but still only family. Maybe in year 4 which should be a Saturday we'll have a small party with 3-4 friends.

Presents: You know how much I love gifts for my birthday, but we've really scaled back for monetary & environmental reasons for birthdays & Christmas. Lots of people say we have to give her something ... they really think it's wrong that we don't do anything for Christmas! That's not our value anymore - we try to be careful consumers - so we decided to be thoughtful about how to recognize this event.
We discussed some possible birthday traditions & decided that Jai & Julia's would involve music. They went to Grimey's Record Store today.

We decided that we want to get her a new book for her personal library (we don't buy her books, she gets 1 monthly from Imagination Library, at least until she's 5), since we'll borrow books for her from the public library (once she's beyond destroying them!). The plan is for Julia & I to go to Fairytales Bookstore on Saturday & choose a book. I'm thinking another Eric Carle book - I saw one about a spider (she loves the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song) when we bought her big crayons there last weekend. Maybe another series book by the author of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" - love that book! (we got "If You Give a Cat a Cupcake" - she LOVES my mom's many cats!)

She got 2 books from her great-aunt, Billie. Jai called his Auntie Dear that morning so she could wish Julia "happy birthday" - it's so cute when she calls her "Auntie Dear." It's so cute when she calls other people by their name too. Adorable, so proper & adult!

Julia also got a great card, from Anne Marie, Kevin & Sam, related to Eric Carle's book "Very Hungry Caterpillar," about being 2. So sweet! Niki gave her an apron with a big "J" embroidered on it. Matches our kitchen apron set - nice! She also got a board book, Tinkerbell socks, cute card & $10 cash from her cousins in Chicago. Julia made out like a bandit in the gift department - just right for a 2 year old.

Jai hopefully will put birthday photos on flickr soon. I added them on 12-11-10 - cool date! Another cool date this year - 8-9-10! :-)

Julia is a wonderful child, we are blessed to have her in our lives!

Working Parents - how do we survive?

We have 1 1/2 incomes basically now since Jai started working part-time (Sat.-Mon.) at Nashville Public Library in mid-October. For about 15 months we were living on 1 income which has been challenging financially, but our goal is for one of Julia's parents to care for her full-time. We kind of lived in fantasy land for 1/2 of these months as we spent more liberally than we should have, used savings sometimes to pay credit card bills, not living truly to the new adjusted budget. Earlier this year I freaked out as I usually do about money when I paid more attention to some of our expenses, especially a huge debt I didn't realize was as big.

We stopped careless spending (which wasn't outrageous, mainly going out to eat too often), started using the Dave Ramsey "cash money in envelope" plan, and examined other ways to cut expenses. Once we trimmed as much as possible (we probably could do more!), we discussed part-time work for Jai & I also signed up for after school tutoring at school - any way to increase income - & Jai got the job at NPL. We use that money to pay extra on debt - it's working, it will take us about 1 1/2 years, but that's good, compared to what was happening which would have taken 3-4 years.

We also are more self-disciplined, live within our budget, spend only what we have in the envelope; we use credit card for expected/automated expenses (for convenience mainly) like gas, diapers, WPLN donation, cell phone bill, then pay the bill each month. We still put money in an account for Julia - savings & education - and for CSA savings (we pre-pay at beginning of each season which saves us 10% & we don't have to write a weekly check).

We decided we're not going to travel by plane for the next year, especially as Julia no longer is a free ride. We're planning to visit family in NC in spring & Chicago in summer, but no other travel. We rarely eat out - maybe once a month, depends on what's in envelope. : ) We haven't seen a movie at theater in 5 months (we each have seen an individual movie using our personal entertainment money) - we get DVDs from NPL or Redbox. Overall it's good, but Jai & I have different philosophies about money. : )

OK, I've written about a different topic than I originally intended! I wanted to write about how hard it is to have both parents working outside the home. We're experiencing some of what I expect happens in that scenario - somewhat more rushed, less time with each other or for self, constantly pulled in so many different directions, no time to cook or clean. I feel lucky that Jai is home 4 days with Julia & he prepares most of our weekday meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner); I also enjoy spending time on Saturday & Sunday with Julia - our time together is special. Bonnie watches Julia on Monday so I treasure those afternoons when I get home from work & have 1-1 1/2 hours to myself, even if I'm preparing dinner which I find relaxing (sometimes). I'm happy that we're still able to prepare most of our meals from scratch (money saving technique & health reasons).

Parents are tired, regardless of work situations. There probably is never enough money.

We're also fortunate that I have a job with lots of vacation time.

In Treatment

Another show I watch, however, I've been kind of an inconsistent fan. We didn't have HBO when the show began 3 seasons ago. I started watching the 2nd season kind of by accident. It seemed like an interesting premise, a therapist's weekly sessions with 3 different clients, then the therapist's session with his own therapist. Occupational interest at best, voyeurism at least.

While watching therapist Paul Weston's transition to living in NYC separated from his family, I watched Paul's life in Baltimore in season 1 as his marriage begins to dissolve. DVD is a great way to catch up quickly & in my case obsessively. I remember doing the same thing with "The Gilmore Girls" 5 years ago!

Anyway, same thing happened. We recently got a few months of HBO for free so I had access to season 3. However, I never finished watching season 2. I'm sure I got tired of watching therapy "for pleasure" (what TV is for me usually), after working with people's issues all day at work. Yet it wasn't a problem since he had new clients. I learned his divorce was final, his ex-wife was engaged & Paul had a new girlfriend. I got consumed again, fascinated by these character's issues & how the analyst (the term used) negotiated the therapy sessions.

I was curious how Paul maintained professional boundaries while working in a room inside his cool NYC apartment. At the same time I watched as Paul fought his own personal demons in both client sessions & the ones with his new analyst played by Amy Ryan. I definitely look at my own counseling techniques & see how I can improve. It's different since I'm not a Freudian analyst & I don't have 50 minutes once a week with a student. It's a frustrating process actually, brief-solution focused counseling, usually 10-15 minutes max per student & not all students anyway.

It really makes me think about establishing a private practice & using own home. Technically I'm not sure if I have the appropriate credentials actually, but gives me pause. Jai sees a therapist (I don't think she calls herself an analyst) who works in her home. I've talked about my mom's business in our converted garage. Maybe that's what we could do with ours! HAHA!

I talk about being self-employed, but I like the comfort of working for an organization. I have so many ideas - baker/chef, organization consultant, therapist - & I'm sure I could come up with more. Something brainless would be nice ... not really, but sometimes seems appealing. 19 more years in public education seems like a long time yet I know retirement at 59 is not likely either - for monetary reasons mainly.

Modern Family

OK - another great TV show we love to watch!
The episode where Mitchell dances in the "Flash Mob" was awesome!
Cam seemed so offended that he wasn't included since he's the creative one.
There are so many hilarious characters on this show.
I love how inclusive & multi-cultural it is too.
The families represent/reflect a range of experiences, including 2 gay men adopting a baby.

Private Practice

It's a known fact that I watch too much TV. I don't remember who, but someone seemed surprised that I watch this show. It didn't get great reviews, at the beginning or even now I don't think, but I don't always pay attention to reviews.

However, I like the cross-over from "Grey's Anatomy." I really like the concept of this comprehensive wellness practice. It includes the whole range of care (pediatrics, OB/GYN, fertility, therapy, alternative healing, internal medicine) & I wish there was something like that here. I wish I worked in a school with everything in one place!

The episodes related to the character Charlotte's rape were so good! It was awful to watch what happened to C, then the aftermath of coping with a traumatic experience for her & her co-workers & loved ones. I was so proud of her for identifying the rapist & the support she has.

There is good television - I just need to watch less TV in general! : )

Talking to your parents

When was the last time you tried to talk to your parents? It was difficult, wasn't it? They don't get you and you don't get them. Is it generational? Sure. Is it vocabulary? Sure. Or is it just a battle of wills? Sure, it was all of that. Now, imagine if you are almost 2 years old and you only have a few sentences at your command. You see, your troubles are nearly as bad as you think they are. You have the ability to drive away when you get in to it with your parents. All I can do is scream like a banshee of spit my newest words of defiance..."No WAY!"

I'm getting there, really. Everyday old words roll off my tongue better (constant repetition of the words I know helps) and new words join my vocab list. My parents still read to me and they talk to me like I understand but we all know I don't. For instance, yesterday I woke from my nap distressed. I was asking for mommy in a kinda pitiful way and Daddy shows up at my door with a concerned look as asks whats the matter. I couldn't say. He then asked me if I had had a bad dream and I said, "yes", in my most confident of voices. I guess it was the way he asked the question b/c I really don't know what he meant by bad dream. So, there is a lot of guessing that goes on but we get by pretty well.

Its been a while so let me catch you up a bit. I still love my books and I like to sing songs but my favorite things to talk about are trucks and buses; our friends Jessie, Michael and India, Grandma Bonnie's cats, especially Alpha and Omega and HOOOOORRSEEESSS! I love horses. I've met a couple this year and they are the best things ever. Dogs and cats are great but horses, wow!

Recently I've been spending more time talking to Mommy b/c Daddy goes to work on Saturday (I love saying Saturday, its a great word). I still eat all sorts of cool stuff although I have kinda grown out of oatmeal. Red Onions have to be one of the newest cool things I eat. We eat salad almost everyday and I usually just pick out the red onions but if there is enough vinegar or mustard nearby I will eat almost anything. Not that that was a problem. Food is good.

The most dramatic thing that has happened is that I fell and busted a tooth. Actually, I just shoved one of my front teeth back up in the gum and can you believe that we won't know if there's a problem until I'm about 7 years old! That is a long time away.

Now that I have sufficiently wandered off topic let just say that I think if I keep trying to talk to Mommy and Daddy and they keep listening we will have a great relationship as I get older.

Sima's Underpants for Women

Another post about another book I finished reading - miracle in itself.
Great title isn't it?! : )

I borrowed this book from my friend, Anne Marie, & this time read it slowly, almost reluctantly despite AM's recommendation. It has an interesting premise, hence the great title! Sima owns her own shop in her basement walk-up (walk-down?) of her NYC apartment where she sells women's lingerie.

The novel tells the story of Sima & her husband's life together from dating to 20+ years of marriage, attempts to procreate & sadness at not having a child, as they drift apart over the years. This is juxtaposition-ed with the customers who come to Sima's shop & a new worker she hires, a young woman from Israel whose life seems glamorous compared to Sima's apathetic & older one. I enjoyed the descriptions of the underwear, bras, camisoles, gowns & the women's pleasure in trying them & spending time together in this community of women.

The story of Sima having her own business in her home was appealing also. I have a fantastical idea of self-employment, especially the convenience of location close to home. Both my mom & step-dad own or owned their own businesses which started in the home. Bonnie still has her healing practice in the garage outside my childhood home. I like the idea of being able to walk outside & be at the office.

However, I know there are other considerations ... health insurance/benefits, privacy ... that's a big one for me, actually both of those are important to me. Working for a large institution like the school system has some perks, comforts really. I'd like to be a chef, baker really, own a really cool place that makes baked goods made with organic local ingredients & spelt flour. I don't think I'm going to be a 30 years lifer with MNPS. This is year 11 which is a LONG way until retirement plus I suspect I might have to work past 60! It is nice to have a Plan B.

It is nice to consider moving to Spain - they have better family-friendly leave plans anyway. We love the food & language, too!

Sima's Underpants for Women by Ilana Stanger-Ross - good read!

Red Hook Road

Once again Jai is the most thoughtful husband!

Today he came home from work with this book, he'd seen it at the library & thought I'd enjoy it. It was a "reader's copy" & I guess it was an older one in the book room. Ironically I had checked out this book from the library & been reading it for a few weeks (it takes me awhile to finish books even if they are good).

Great minds think alike! : )

I returned the library copy so someone else could get it & kept reading. It was a treat - we rarely buy books anymore - the "reduce, reuse, recycle" motto means we don't buy new books, we borrow from friends/family or library.

The story is set in 2 places, New York City, but primarily Maine, over a period of 3-4 years post the death of a newly married young couple from 2 drastically different families. Great premise I know - literally post-ceremony, driving to reception, the couple are killed in a car crash! The book continues with how the 2 families cope in the aftermath of this tragedy. I enjoyed reading about Maine; I have family who live there & I've visited some, mostly as a child, most recently in 2008. Despite the heavy topic, I enjoyed reading about how the individuals dealt with their grief. Maybe occupational interest, but I'm sure it's a humanity thing, too.

I then loaned the book to my mom who grew up in New England. She will enjoy it.

If you need a good book, get Red Hook Road (Ayelet Waldman)!

More "Mad Men" goodness

Last night was the season 4 finale of one of our favorite TV shows!
Don Draper I love & hate you!
Also I really worry about your liver.
Plus your children's need for therapy now & in the future.
I love how Joan & Peggy's relationship has evolved over the past 4 years.
Especially this season!
It has been a relationship filled with tension & competition to camaraderie & compassion.

I haven't posted in awhile so I wanted to get something up for October.
I'll return to this post & add more soon. : )

Homemade Applesauce

Neat process, actually really easy! Yummy!
Other than peeling, coring & cutting up a bunch of apples, it's not hard.
Since Julia eats her weight (22+ pounds I guess isn't that hard?!) in applesauce, her consistently favorite food, this is a good thing.

I went to the Farmer's Market yesterday & bought a bushel of MacIntosh apples - local, in season, TN apples. Voila - freshly made applesauce!
It took about 8 apples to make a quart jar.

I also made an apple pie with 8 apples - a bushel is a lot of apples! : )

US Tennis Association Delivers Green Slam

USTA has some new PSAs promoting green practices at the NYC Grand Slam.

Alec Baldwin is the spokesperson for the PSAs.
I saw one of the PSA's this morning - it's funny!
I forget that he is a New Yorker & tennis fan, too.

• on-site composting
• recycling & donating the tennis balls
• recycling of glass, can, cardboard & plastic
• renewable energy certificates for consumpution during the tournament
• concession products made from bio-materials
• concession food from local, natural & organic sources

I'm sad to miss watching tennis in person at the US Open of course.
I'm sad to not see these efforts in person also.
I'm glad it's happening!
MANY people at the tournament will experience these policies.

The environmental initiatives will have a HUGE impact!
It is happening in a local way & beyond through media message to millions watching on TV.

AWESOME work USTA! : )

"Mad Men" quotes

There were some good ones from last season.
I wrote them down, but not sure where I put the note.
I'm going to look again because they were funny!

I found the note! : )
The quotes might be from Season 2, but I think they're from Season 3.
Regardless they are good.
There are THREE!

1. Betty talking with Don about their daughter Sally (she's 9 maybe)
Don had been working on some home improvement project.
B: She's taken to your tools like a little lesbian.

2. Peggy to her co-worker, Pete
He's also former lover & father of child she gave up for adoption
P: Stop coming in here & infecting me with your anxiety!

3. Pete to a sales clerk at women's dress section at a large NYC department store
P: I want to see the manager.
SC: of the entire store?
P: of the Republic of Dresses ... your service is falling short.

We're slightly behind in Season 4, catching up on our DVR.
We recently watched the 8-15-10 episode.
Peggy had some good lines.

1. Talking with Don's assistant, Allison
He slept with A after a drunken Christmas party.

P: I don't know what you think happened, but it didn't.
Your problem is NOT my problem.

2. Talking with a young Life magazine staffer who is a lesbian
Joyce tried to kiss Peggy.

P: I have a boyfriend.
J: He doesn't own your vagina.
P: Well, he's renting it.

AWESOME! I love this show. Good times in the 1960's!
It won another Emmy tonight. : )

Sheryl Crow's Eco Tour

She is so cool!
Jai sent me an email about this recently.
I'll find it & post the information.
Really neat stuff!

Sheryl’s list of backstage eco-specifications include the following:

• Reusable water containers/water coolers (no single use plastic bottles)
• Recycling containers for glass, paper, plastic & aluminum (at concert venue & backstage)
• Organic, locally-sourced food served on reusable plates (no petroleum-based items)
• Meals from a restaurant in planet-friendly containers (styrofoam use limited or avoided)
• Snacks must include multiple flavors of hummus, chips & salsa, fresh/dried fruit, veggies, nuts & “good quality dark organic chocolate”

Eco-suggestions for the concert venue include:

• purchasing sustainable energy credits
• installing energy efficient CFLs
• refraining from idling vehicles
• using chemical-free, planet-friendly cleaning/paper supplies

SC also offers purchasing suggestions on where green products are available (i.e. Target, Whole Foods & Repurpose Compostables). "Crow is one of those rare artists who feels that no matter your position on global warming, “you still have an obligation to leave this planet better than you found it.”

Truly walking the talk!

Sea sponges and Glad Rags

Women - look into them!
Eco-friendly AND cheaper overall eventually.
A little adjustment required, but really wonderful products.
All I'm going to write today.

Mandatory Breastfeeding

This is an interesting concept.

Gisele Bunchen, international model, married to Tom Brady (NFL quarterback), & new mom, spoke recently about the need for law mandating breastfeeding. The $*%# hit the fan.
It is fascinating how the topic is such a hot button of controversy.

I am a SERIOUS advocate for breastfeeding.
There are many reasons why women decide not to breastfeed their child.
However, there are so many positive reasons to breastfeed.

With laws, there are so many challenges, especially in this case, enforcement.
It's a very personal experience.
Breastfeeding is definitely healthier for a woman & her baby.

More support & education is needed.
That way women can make the commitment & be successful at breastfeeding.

Gisele - use your famous position for advocacy.
Channel your passion in that direction!

World Breastfeeding Week - August 2-9

Women around the world feed their babies in the same way. Awesome!

39 & Holding

I'm 40!
It's a BIG deal.
How has that many years gone by? ! : )

2 stories about 39 & Holding:

Yesterday when I went to the Y I used one of the machines as usual.
You can enter your data (weight and age).
Last day to enter 39.
When I go to the Y next week, I won't do that part in my exercise routine.
I can pretend for a little longer.

Second story involves the "39 & Holding" mug.
My mom gave it to my step-father, Rich, years ago.
It has a history of being passed from person to person.
Bonnie gave it to us in 2007.
So we could give it to our friend, Kevin, who turned 40 in April.
Kevin gave it to Jai in September when he turned 40 that year.
We gave it to Anne Marie, Kevin's wife, this year when she turned 40.
You know the rest - they gave it to me today at my birthday dinner.

Full circle ... however, I don't really need another mug.
I'm not really a hot beverage drinker.

Therefore I'm going to pay it forward in the future. : )

Chicken Livers & Dirt

West End UMC sponsored a series called "A Place at the Table." The series is planned for 4-5 Wednesdays in late June-late July; the topics seemed to revolve around ecological issues related to food. I think they showed "Food Inc" at one of the presentations. I hope they continue it beyond July. It costs $10 a person.

Last week's presentation included a viewing of the documentary "Dirt" & a catered meal created by Martha Stamps, formerly a chef at The Yellow Porch, currently chef at Martha Stamps Catering & Events. The tag line on her website is "local, sustainable, divine."

The food was really yummy! The menu was incredible; all or most were local ingredients.

• herb & garlic roasted chicken
• citrus marinated broiled chicken lives - Julia's favorite!
• dragon bean salad with tomatoes & corn
• sweet potato fries - everyone's favorite!
• melon, cucumber & shaved fennel
• squash casserole - really incredible
• green tea with lemon grass & ginger
• peach & blackberry cobbler

The local farms represented were:

1. Green Mountain


2. McDonald Farms


3. Swafford Farms


4. Wedgewood Urban Farms


5. Delvins Farm


6. 2620 Essex Place


7. Warner Park Garden

What an awesome deal for yummy food & great presentations & supporting local farmers! Nashville truly is an amazing community filled with conscientious individuals trying to make a difference in small & big ways!

Drivers License Center

I must share my bits of wisdom learned from my experience at the DLC. As a government employee I realize that bureaucracy exists, there are never enough resources to complete the work in the most timely or efficient way.

However, as a recent patron at the Driver License Center, only wanting to renew my soon-to-expire driver's license, I was sorely disappointed in the service I received. I truly wish I was eligible to renew on-line as I do most of my business. However, apparently a new photo was required so I arrived at 9:25am at the Hart Lane location, only about 1.5 miles from my home, with a magazine in hand.

I stood in line for 30 minutes to reach the "info" desk, gave my completed form, old ID (with photo I like and looks similar, hair is slightly longer, maybe look a little younger as I was childless and a newlywed 5 years ago) and $22 in cash. The clerk asked if I was paying cash or debit/credit and I answered cash and received a number and was told to wait. Carrying my water bottle as always (it's hot in Nashville!) I was told that drinking is not allowed. WHAT!?

There is not ONE sign posted stating that fact. Also how are you going to enforce that? You don't have enough workers to run this place!

I sat another 30 minutes to wait for my number to be called, then proceeded to another window to hand the same documents. The clerk at this window informed me that if I'd paid with debit/credit card, I could have gone to the side area, paid immediately & proceeded directly to the "get your photo taken" line & been done in 5 minutes. WHAT!?!?!?

Again nothing posted stating this part of the process.

I stood in the photo line & as I got close (one person in front of me) it stopped. The photo taker worker disappeared. OMG! What is wrong with this place? Finally the original "information" worker calls my name, takes my photo, & I move to the line to wait for my ID to be printed. While I wait AGAIN I hear a person, interrupted by the automated intercom PA system, try to announce that if you're here to renew your license, you can pay with debit/credit card & be done in 5 minutes.

UNBELIEVABLE!

The irony - I usually pay for everything with debit or credit card. I had to scrape together the $22 in cash. I thought cash would be faster!

In the 1 1/2 hours I was there, that was the first time I heard this information. There is a digital TV display with inane, not relevant, information scrolling on it & the PA announces the gazillion RANDOM numbers of people waiting to be served. Also there are posters stating no use of cell phones or pagers (it's 2010, who uses a pager??) as it is inconsiderate to the citizens & workers of the DLC.

Really that's inconsiderate? Seriously! How considerate is it for me to have wasted 1 1/2 hours of time I could have been elsewhere as a contributing citizen of my community. Family time in the least! Luckily Jai was home with Julia, I didn't have to be at my job & I speak English. There were MANY people there with young children, probably needing to be at work where they are paid by the HOUR & English was not their primary language.

The DLC opens at 8am, but today, my last day of summer vacation, I decided to sleep late. UGH! Of course, I've had all summer to renew my license, but I hoped to be thinner and tanner for my new photo. : )

Here are my bits of wisdom. I suggest you use them.
1. Leave your children at home with another caregiver or go when they're at day school program
2. Go when they open at 8am & bring something to read or your Ipod
3. Go on a middle day of the week, not Monday or Friday
4. Pay by debit or credit card if possible
5. Don't care about the photo! : )
6. Be friendly, smile, thank the DLC worker - they have a crap-tastic job
7. Thank goodness it is an every 5-10 years process

Pay It Forward - : )

40th Birthday Party

It's hard to believe it has been 10 years since Susie & I had our big 30th birthday party - before Arizona, our careers in education, marriage & Julia. WOW - how much life has changed!

August 1 isn't here yet, but you know I love celebrating for at least the whole month. I started early since Susie came home for her annual summer visit on July 9 & had to leave on July 22 (best air fare & she has a summer job) so we planned the soire for mid-July.

The theme was ice cream & we had lots of it. All homemade by our new ice cream attachment (anniversary present for Jai & I which we've talked about getting for YEARS!); I made ice cream EVERY day for 2 weeks with Jai & then Susie's assistance. It was insane, but fun! YUMMY work, too! : ) We had traditional ice creams made with LOCAL dairy milk & cream as well as non-dairy varieties made with soy milk & creamer & also sorbets made with lots of local, fresh fruits & juices.

We had lots to try, many non-traditional choices. No Neapolitan here - seriously no vanilla, milk chocolate or strawberry!
Sorbet: basil lime, watermelon basil, watermelon (all fruit, no sugar/honey) [all but the lime were local]
Soy: vanilla, mint chocolate chip (local mint), green tea & ginger
Dairy: coffee, banana, lemon-lime, peach (local), dark chocolate (local Olive & Sinclair chocolate, really intense flavor), goat cheese & honey (all local ingredients)

We also made some snacks, most were of the healthy kind. I made 2 bean dips - one with garbanzo beans, parsley & lemon juice (I call it "Hummus" though I don't use tahini), the other with black beans, cilantro & lime juice (I call it "Caribbean Bean Dip"). There were lots of corn chips & veggies for dipping. In addition to the cold dessert stuff, I baked my famous banana bread & my delicious & easy chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. YUM! We created an adult beverage of sangria (Jai's speciality) & a non-alcoholic summer punch with tea, juice & lemonade (Susie's concoction). Our friend, Mike, brought his yummy spinach & artichoke dip. OMG - it is good!

Lots of friends & family arrived, many early enough to see Julia, some hadn't been to our house before & of course eat the ice cream. : ) Thanks to everyone for being a part of our milestone celebration - it was lots of fun! Also thanks for the gifts - they were thoughtful & generous.

I'm looking forward to the next 10 years! Life truly is good!

5K #2

Race for Autism at Crockett Park in Brentwood, TN - good cause, great weather

Susie, Joel & I woke at 5:30am, got to the race site by 6:30 to collect our bib number & pre-registered T-shirt & also got our sibling photo taken before we assembled with the other runners. There was a slight snafu with Susie's bib - someone else named Suzanne J. apparently showed up before us & got her number. NIGHTMARE! Eventually it got worked out, Susie got a new bib number, but it was annoying to deal with it as we prepared to run. It delayed us getting our pre-race photo of the 3 of us; Susie doesn't have a bib on in it.

Bonnie & Buddy arrived just as the race started so we waved quickly as we ran off with the crowd. Less people than July 3, but it was a congested course initially so a slow & frustrating start for all of us. This time I didn't have any panic/anxious feelings, felt good most of the run. I still had my slow points somewhere between miles 1&2, then again around 2.5 miles as I saw runners ending their race & I still had to finish.

Lots of people were walking earlier than I expected, but I forget that not everyone is running the event. Thankfully no people with strollers passed me like on July 3rd. I think they started in front of me! : ) I hoped the firefighter in FULL gear didn't pass me. If that had happened, I would have stopped running & walked. I mean really if I person in that heavy jacket, pants, helmet, face mask, oxygen tank runs faster than me, what is the point??!! I saw him cross the finish line, only about a minute slower - yikes!

I pushed it the last 0.10 to finish, trying to catch my previous time, but I was a second slower. However, the 3 of us discussed the start & really believe that the congestion contributed to all of us having a slower time. Joel was really annoyed at his time! Thankfully at one of the downhill parts, I ran really fast (I don't usually do that); I suspect that helped me have a similar time.

We saw B&B on the course once & then again at the finish. It was nice to have cheerleaders; hopefully Jai & Julia can come to a race in the future. It's so early for both of them & really who wants to wake a sleeping child - no one exactly! Bonnie said something about inspiring Julia to see all of the runners, especially me, Susie & Joel, being healthy & active. It's true; luckily Julia seems like a natural athlete, she has a great tennis ball throwing arm & football/soccer kicking legs! : )

The weather was great - overcast (not sure about rain which might have been nice), decent humidity (it's all relative), lots of shady parts of the course.

Overall it was a great day to run!

Joel & I are discussing our future runs, probably not going to do one in August, too hot, though there is the Tomato Fest 5K run/walk which benefits our local East Nashville YMCA (soon to be just referred to as the Y which we say now). We looked at the race calendar, there are a few possibilities for Sept. & Oct. The one at Centennial Park on Sept. 11 seems like a good day for something positive & the cause is for prostrate cancer which Jai's dad had. There's another local race at Shelby Bottoms on Oct. 2 as well as the Germantown 5K on Oct. 9. Joel really is excited for the Rudolph one in December. At least it will be cooler, actually I think that race is in the evening on a Friday so Julia & Jai might be able to be there.

Jade is the New Black

I don't have much to say (I think!) other than this is a clever name for a new OPI nail polish color. My friend, Anne Marie, used to get together once a month for a pedicure at Magnolia Spa in East Nashville, but we'd taken a break in the winter months. Last month we got together for one of our summer childless Friday date (Sam goes to a Parent Day Out program) & that is the color AM got on her toes. She encouraged me to get something different too - I chose a lime green kind of color from OPI's new "Shrek" line. It looked good; it definitely caught people's attention. I received many comments & compliments.

I wish I'd taken a photo as today we got new colors as we met for another pedicure. It's summer so we wear our flip flops a lot more than in winter. This time we went to Empire Beauty School in Cool Springs. The cost is much cheaper as students provide the service - it's a great deal. We both got awesome colors again - bright coral/red color for me, a matte purple for AM. This will be it for awhile probably as I return to work in a week. Ah, the summer ends so quickly these days - 7 weeks flies by when you're busy traveling around the city & country.

When is Labor Day? : )

Playdates

Play dates can be a parent's salvation. The child gets to play with other children her or his age hopefully (not always necessary) & the parent gets to interact with other adults his or her age (maybe this is true, not always necessary). : ) I participated in a few of these encounters while on maternity leave, then again last summer & this summer, too. We met friends at the zoo, the pool at the Y, someone's house, downtown library for story time, the park - you name it, it felt like I did it this summer. It was fun, Julia had a good time, I had a good time.

But there's a but ... I don't know, busyness, too full calendar, not enough down time. Yet I remember feeling so alone & bored sometimes as a new parent, especially when Julia was really little. I had to get out - I hated being stuck at home despite the fact that I love being home. It's such an ironic paradox, you know. What is that about? Where is the peace, satisfaction, solace of being at home, my safe place? Why do I feel the need to fill up my time with appointments & stuff?

Sometimes I feel like I'm never alone in my house. I'm alone when I leave to go to work, but that's it. Jai rarely participates in play dates. They go to the library or park often. Julia interacts with children at the Y and church nursery. However, this summer there were only a handful of times I was at my house with NO ONE ELSE there. It's rare - the last time was many days ago. Jai & I joke about him going to get a pedicure (I like to do that) & have lunch with his invisible friends (again I've done that a bit this summer with VISIBLE friends). However, Jai isn't alone during those activities, he watched Julia so I could enjoy myself.

However, I have to ask Jai to leave with Julia in order to be alone at the house. It's different & yet it's not. Before Julia was born, even while pregnant, I was a busy person; my appointments usually were all out of the house, after work, in the evening, on the weekends. Yet I didn't notice the lack of alone time in my house. Usually I was home before Jai got off work so I had that time.

I realize that being alone is a relative experience. Getting up at 6am when no one else is awake (to exercise or write a blog post or read a book) is an opportunity for solitude. Having a child changes your life - I have less time for me. I'm selfish - I want more ME time.

July 3 Firecracker 5K Race

Joel, Susie and I used to run in high school. Joel is a much more talented runner in my opinion, he's a natural athlete, especially for running; he has the body shape and of course LONG legs since he's 6'4", almost a foot and 1/2 taller than me. Joel ran on the cross country team at Overton HS also. I ran with Susie for her to get in shape for soccer and for me to fit into my band uniform. It worked. : )

I didn't run in college - aerobics was the popular exercise in the 80s & 90s. When I lived in Thailand, it was a great way to keep in shape and also see the sights of the city I lived in. I ran EARLY in the morning because of the heat; I loved seeing the citizens prepare and then feed the monks in their bright orange robes. It was a wonderful way to start the day.

However, I stopped running when I returned to the USA in 1995 - something about my knees ... haha. That excuse actually kept me from running for 15 years. I even tried to run on the treadmill at the gym, but I heard it's bad for your knees so I stopped doing that (plus I'm afraid I'm going to fall off).

Recently I tried again to get on the weight loss band wagon (ugh, it's a constant evil part of my life!) and I struggle because I want to eat what I want to eat. Even though I usually eat healthy most of the time. I participated in the "Biggest Loser" competition at work, lost about 8 pounds in 2 1/2 months, not great, and toyed with the idea of running. However, after not losing much weight, I decided to do it. Joel is my trainer and we started gradually, walking around the block a few days a week, then starting running it. This was around mid-April.

Eventually we got up to running the loop around the block 3 times, thinking that was almost 3 miles, which we thought was perfect as we planned to run a 5K in June or July. We registered for the Firecracker race at Maryland Farms on July 3 and ran it yesterday morning at 7am. Usually we run around 6am when it's slightly cooler. It was sunny and warm at MF and this was my first road race, first race period!

It was exciting and exhilarating and exhausting! All of the anticipation and anxiety - lots of emotions. I had a slight panic attack (I don't know how else to describe it) as the race started and I was running amongst all of these people, hoping I could keep up, not knowing exactly what the course was like. Of course Joel was GONE as he runs faster than me anyway (those long legs). Also he's competitive and wants to get a good time and running at my pace isn't going to get it.

We both struggled in the last mile, especially because it was ALL up hill basically, and we were hot and tired. We were dying! However, we discovered later that we'd been running less than 3 miles for the past 2 1/2 months, a lot less, about 2.4! We mistakenly listened to what someone said the distance around the block is instead of clocking it ourselves.

We had a great time though and have 2 weeks to train for the next 5K on July 17 in Brentwood with Susie, too. We'll increase our distance and endurance so we don't die out there in the sun! : )

Fresh Farm Food

Julia's meal the other day was all local food from either the East Nashville Farmer's Market (every Wed. from 3:30-6:30pm, located near Turnip Truck) or CSA share from Avalon Acres Farm.

YUMMY!

She had spelt pasta noodles, cucumber & tomatoes with basil & roast chicken.
Julia ate a whole plate all by herself too.
Mostly with her fingers, but sometimes using the small fork she has.

I love that Julia eats fresh, whole food, made here in Tennessee. I feel good about Julia living a healthy life; it starts with a positive relationship to food.

Note: today Julia ate beets from our CSA and loved them! Of course her fingers and bib and shirt are PINK! : )

My name is Julia's Mom

I've known this for awhile. Lots of time I'm greeted AFTER the person says hello to Julia - if I'm remembered! : ) Then I'm referred to as "Julia's mom."

I was buying groceries at the Turnip Truck today and I greeted an employee I hadn't seen in awhile. After saying hello, she asked "do you have a twin sister?" That's not always a surprising question. I thought Susie had been to TT before so not that unusual. I replied "yes" and the employee starts to say something, but then says "she's Julia's mom, right?" and then she says my name (I'm amazed she remembers it!).

I smile and chuckle - I should never expect to be surprised any more. Then I say "actually I'm Julia's mom" and laugh again. The employee responds with my favorite part: "Oh, you've lost so much weight!" To which I say "well, I was pregnant and then had a baby. Finally I've lost some of that weight!"

Good save! : ) HILARIOUS! : ) I love it!

The jars

I think we've mentioned Julia's obsession with glass jars.
We didn't buy baby food in jars very often, more than some might expect (my mom was really surprised), but less than most people who have babies. Somehow Julia fell in love with jars, in particular the baby food size. She likes other sizes, but we think she can carry the smaller ones easily in her hands. Julia likes to carry 3 as Jai previously referenced.

While traveling in New England, we brought a few jars of baby food as surplus in case we didn't have anything for her to eat. We also bought some jars once there, again for emergency situations. By the end of the trip I wanted to make sure she ate all of them because I was tired of carrying them. We had 2 with us when we went through security and I had to open them to be "checked." WHY?? They are sealed containers of baby food! UGH - I hate airport security.

I digress from this story of Julia being OCD about jars.

We really realized it when we were in a fish market in NH getting take out for lunch. While we waited for our food to be prepared, we walked around the market and looked at various items on the shelves. I noticed the Desert Essence brand of salsa which surprised me. I've never seen it in stores other than Turnip Truck or Whole Foods. Julia was walking with my cousin's daughter, she turns, sees the jar and SCREAMS ... so loud & perfect for a role in a horror movie. She ran up to me to get to the jar; we realized later that she thought it was the Desert Essence bean dip we used to buy and feed her. Now we make our own as it was killing our budget! Julia loves bean dip - made from pinto, garbanzo or black beans. She probably would like white bean dip too, but we never make that - maybe we will.

Once we got home, we recycled the glass jars and have not bought any more baby food. It was getting out of hand how obsessed Julia was with the jars. Actually it's not necessary anymore to have the baby food as Julia has progressed a lot feeding herself with the spoon and fork. She got some good practice when we stayed with my cousins Rick & Lori; I realized that we (I) need to encourage Julia to feed herself even when it's messy. : )

18 month Dr. visit

All of my stats increased.
weight - 11%tile (up 1 %)
length - 61%tile (up 0.5 %)
head - 61%tile (up 36 %)
I'm a lean, big headed tall kid. : )

I have about 25 words in my vocabulary.
Even some 2 syllable & double compound ones. I'm brilliant!
I have this slight obsession with jars - small ones, tall ones, fat ones, doesn't matter. They just have to be a jar!
I organize & stack them which apparently is what I'm supposed to be doing.

As always I am IMPRESSIVE!

BTW - I hope you all know that I'm not this conceited even though my head grew a lot! It's my parents. My mother is uber-competitive, you know!

New England Whirlwind!

I survived a LONG trip on the plane and driving all around RI, MA and NH from June 11-22 ... my parents are crazy!
Really it was my mother. She's the planner & she wants to fit in as much as possible when we're in the Northeast.
Basically we saw Mommy's Wellesley friends & their families (SO many kids!), lots of cousins and the fun people at Amherst College tennis camp.

It is GREAT to be home - I really missed my bed.

Next trip is short - only 3 days and 3 hours away. We're going to family reunion in Atlanta in July. ROAD TRIP! : )

June Holidays

Happy Anniversary!
On June 18 Jai & I celebrated 5 years of marriage!
It seems like we always are traveling on or around our anniversary.
This year we were in MA staying with my cousin Jeff & his family.
That afternoon we left Julia with Susie, Jeff, his wife, Leslie, & their 2 school-age children.
They had a great time playing in the pool, jumping on the trampoline, & riding the kid cars.
Jai & I drove to nearby Fitchburg and stayed at a lovely B&B.

The B&B is on a gorgeous piece of property with a pool, woods, green lawn & a friendly big dog.
I took a nap while Jai showered & watched some World Cup football.
Then we ate dinner at a local Indian restaurant.
The review states the food is delicious, but ambiance is lacking. We concur!
The next morning we breakfasted on the porch.
We ate fresh local strawberries picked by the owner, Greek yogurt (our new favorite food), oatmeal and omelets.

We returned to the family rested & full! : )

Gift: I got Jai a colorful hammock and for us as a couple/family an ice cream attachment for our Kitchen Aid mixer. YUM! : )
Jai gave me bookshelves for the dining room - to be built within a month's time. YEAH!

Father's Day on June 20, 2010
World Cup soccer (or as the rest of the world calls it "football") is from June 1-July 11.
Jai was a good sport (haha) since we left Nashville to travel to New England on June 11 & basically missed MANY games. Then we're traveling back from Jai's family reunion in Atlanta on July 11 during the FINAL World Cup match. Therefore I decided to give Jai some time alone at Jeff & Leslie's house while the rest of us went to church. It was a nice old church, nice short service, friendly people. They really enjoyed cute Julia. They seemed really disappointed when we told them where we lived. Jeff said they asked if we were his neighbors. : )

Jai had a little break & watched some football alone. Later we traveled to New Hampshire to stay with my aunt & uncle Carol & Ray and cousin Julie, her husband, Evan and their 2 tween/teenage children. Carol is my uncle Bob's ex-wife (my mom's oldest brother), but she is Julie & her brothers' mom too & will always be my aunt. Ray is a great person too & we consider him an uncle.

Thanks for being a great dad to Julia. She is a lucky daughter to have you for a father.

We had lots of time spent with family - seems appropriate to spend these holidays with family too.

Gift: I got Jai a NICE camping French press so he can have delicious coffee in the great outdoors. He really likes it!

Fever # 2

Julia had a fever again which happens so rarely so we're always concerned.
Usually is full of energy & happy, Julia is listless & cranky when she has a cold.
We are not quick to take medicine or call the doctor.
We're not likely to give Julia medicine without attempting other interventions.
Cool baths to decrease the fever is one method we use.
Lots of liquids, Julia's comfort foods like applesauce & toast, also rest & relaxation as much as possible to keep her comfortable, hydrated and rested.

Uncle Joel gave some suggestions that are more traditional than we like. They involved Children's Tylenol & calling her doctor. I know he doesn't understand us - thinks we stress ourselves out more with our "longer" health care solutions. I remember having a conversation with someone about the recent recall of Tylenol which I didn't know anything about. The person looked surprised & said "what do you do for a fever or cold?" I gave my homo pathetic answers.

Thankfully Julia's fever decreased as she rested that night & next day. Quickly her behavior & overall demeanor returned to happy, smiley, pleasant Julia!

Practice Makes Perfect

Julia usually takes an afternoon nap but sometimes we do quiet time in the morning...half-hour or so where she sits in her bed with a book, lays down, reads, talks whatever.

Over the past couple of days she's been a little sick and her schedule is a screwy. She's taken morning naps and quiet-time/nap in the afternoon. Today, I listened while she did her typical singing and humming and, of course, babbling and I heard her say "mommy", "daddy", "daddy", "mommy" over and over. She was practicing.

I've heard her repeat things but its usually while she is reading or talking near us or imitating us. This is the first time I have heard her do what sounds like practice repetition.

Kinda cool, huh?

Being a Toddler is for the Birds

I am in love with birds. They are the most fun animal to watch. I think that's because they are everywhere I go and they make all those fun tweets and chirps.

I remember a couple of weeks ago I surprised my dad. We were outside - the best place in the world - and I looked over his shoulder, pointed and said "bird!?". He didn't know what I was talking about because he didn't know I knew the word and he didn't see the bird I was pointing at for a few seconds.

**It is amazing how long it takes tall people to see or understand what I'm pointing at.***

Anyway, the other thing is that I've been sick more times since I started walking and talking than I was the whole year before and THAT is definitely for the birds!! A couple of weeks ago my stomach was bothering me soooo much. Everything I ate came out watery and a lot at once. It was gross. Mommy and Daddy held there nose a lot when they changed my diapers and we had to wash a lot of sheets and clothes. NOW, after all that I got a huge fever yesterday. Mommy and Daddy came into my room every couple of hours all night long. I got to eat a lot of mango popsicle and frozen banana and I took a bunch of cold baths. I feel better today but not great - of course, that doesn't stop me from wanting to go outside.

I'm not so hungry but I think I'll ask Daddy if I can go upstairs for a 2nd nap. Hopefully by the time Mommy comes home I will feel better she looked very worried about me.

It looks like we have a busy summer and I can't wait! World Cup!! Massachusetts!! Atlanta!! Swimming Pool!!

Always a Concerned Mother

Again I don't remember all my insightful words from weeks ago ... I think I realize that there is always something to be concerned about as a parent. Julia doesn't get sick often which is wonderful. She's rarely fussy, usually she's cranky when hungry or tired. Julia gets hurt most of the time when she's playing and running and bumping into things. But there's always concern about how's she's doing - physically, emotionally, mentally. How is she developing? How does she compare to other young children? I know she's an individual and will do it her way, that I definitely know! We know she's developing on pace, regardless of when she walks, talks, runs, stacks things, feeds herself, picks up her toys, not matter how she relates to other kids. Julia is happy - that is the most important quality. She is doing fine.

G.I. Julia

Once again I'm writing a post many weeks after I titled it so I wouldn't forget.
I think that the title will help me remember ... it does, but only so much information. All of the great words & thoughts I had at the time are GONE!

Anyway, what I remember is that Julia starting crawling again and it reminded me of the commando crawl she did early on. Since she's been walking for 7-8 months it seemed funny that she was crawling. I wondered if she would regress and stop walking. Now she runs all the time so that seems like a wonderful regression. : )

However, she continues to walk; occasionally she crawls, but usually it is when she's looking for toys that have gotten under the table or couch.

"G.I. Julia" seemed like a clever play on words since she looks like a solider doing the commando crawl. I think I'm so clever ! : )

Toddler Diarrhea

I'm not going to write much about this topic; it's not a pleasant subject.
Julia had this predicament from May 5-13 and thankfully it is over!

OMG!

It is the most foul, literally, experience of having a child. So disgusting!
Julia was not a happy camper either. We were constantly changing her diaper and she hated it, too. Her room smelled awful! We had the fan going, the windows open, using essential oils to disfuse the stench.

No one talks about it, for good reason I suppose.
We weren't sure what was going on initially.
Then we referred to the trusty Internet for information.
We relied on the BART (banana, applesauce, rice, toast) system to minimize any gastro-intestinal related issues to Julia's food. That really helped settle her stomach and also to make sure she was getting some nourishment.

We are so glad Julia feels better.

Risen Waters in Nashville

11-13-11
I found this old email to a friend & realized it might make an interesting post since it's taken me so long to complete what I started from 1 1/2 years ago!
 Sent: Saturday, May 8, 2010 10:46:01 AM
Subject: Flood Relief 

Dear 

How did the volunteer work go yesterday?

It’s strange how someone right near you could have damage and then the neighbor didn’t.

I’ve heard that about tornados and stuff, but nothing this close – since the tornado in ’98!

Some friends live near Sutton Hill Road, but I don’t think they had any damage.  Strange!

I am glad you & your dog are OK.  

Bonnie & Buddy are well too!  They didn’t have electricity on Sunday.

I got your voicemail message, but I was at work and we had stuff ALL day.

Schools were closed all week, not sure about next week.

I think it depends on when the 2^nd water plant gets restored.

They don’t want 76,000 students flushing the toilets! : )

Also we hear there is some damage to buildings as well as roads so not sure about bus routes, etc.

I haven’t heard from Mike & Chad. I heard Donelson was hit hard.

One of my co-workers who lives there relayed some scary stuff!

Luckily we’re OK, nothing major happened to us or our property.

Our basement flooded – about 8 inches deep – which is a pain for my brother.

He was in Atlanta for the weekend so I had to tell him over the phone. : (

However, the good thing is once the rain stopped, the water drained and all of it was gone the next day.

We’re glad for that as we anticipated emptying many buckets of water! : )

Some of our appliances are OK – the washer works, but not the dryer.

Good excuse for a clothesline! : )

We didn’t have hot water or heat/air for a few days because that stuff is in the basement.

We unplugged everything when we discovered the water.

With Joel in Atlanta and not going up & down to the basement, we didn’t think to check!

You know Jai likes AC so he was a little uncomfortable.

I went to the Y to take showers – Jai & Joel took cold showers!  : (

FUN! FUN!

Julia is a trooper – good spirits always – and her laughter makes up for everything.

I actually left to go to church on Sunday morning WITH Julia, turned around quickly & returned home.

I got so scared when I saw how high the water was on Gallatin Road, imagined the car floating & trying to get Julia out.

WHEW! Really scary! : (

We watched TV for hours on Sunday – thankfully we had electricity.

The scenes were frightening as I recognized SO many places around the city submerged in water!

We were definitely going stir crazy stuck in the house.

The weather was beautiful, sunny, blue skies on Monday – strange contrast to the constant rain for 2 days!

Johnders & I walked the neighborhood Monday morning to survey the situation.

Slow morning traffic, not much damage on these streets.

Take care.

Love, Tara, Jai, Julia, Johnders & Joel

Mother's Day 2010

I would like to wish my fabulous wife Tara a wonderful Mother's Day!

There are no amount of words I can use to express how impressed I am with you, how fortunate I am to know you, and how glad I am that YOU are the mother of our child. Julia and I are better people for know you.

Today is also Julia's 17 months birthday - she's almost 1 1/2 years old!

Said with nothing but love,
Jai

Three is a magic number.

I can't tell you why but it appears even at Julia's 16 months three is a magic number. Since she was a small crawling baby she has needed things in her hands when she moved. We've seen anywhere from 1 to 4 items in her hands while she motors around the house. Sometimes, and maybe even most often, it is a bulky item...gallon jug, large book, giant stuffed frog.

Two seems obvious but not for her. Three is what she likes. When she has some finger food, pretzels or cookie chunks, she wants one in each hand and one in her mouth. When she plays with her rings or we go outside and play with Johnders' tennis balls she has to have three. No matter how awkward, she must have three. She will let you hold an item while she readjusts the other two but she will manage to get three as quickly as possible.

The ancients were on to something and it is verified by the randomness of my daughter.

Julia, You Cannot Sit on Daddy's Head

That alone is a funny title!

However, many times Julia tries to sit on Jai's head.
She thinks it is OK to do and of course we laugh, then tell her not to do it.
Confusing! : )

We think it is part of her large motor development.
Julia's trying to figure out how her body works and moves and what she can do with each part.
It's pretty funny to see though I don't think Jai really enjoys it! : )

Pam the Yarn Doll

My aunt Pam is a great knitter.
She made the purple hooded sweater for Julia.
It has the zipper in the back which is AWESOME!
She knitted some slippers, too - still too big for Julia.

Pam also knitted a doll.
With brown skin and a purple pants and black "wavy" hair ... just like Julia!
Julia loves it!

We kept referring to it as "the doll" this and that, "go get it" or "let's pick it up."
That got tedious quickly and soon we realized that the doll needs a name.
As creatively as when Tara was 4 & named our family's cat "Kitty" I came up with "Pam" for the doll's name.

However, it works. Julia likes it too.
Hopefully she'll remember that her great-aunt Pam made it for her.

I hope my aunt Pam doesn't mind being the name of a doll. : )

First Ice Cream

vegan chocolate ice cream at Pied Piper Creamery - yummy!

Aunt Niki scoops this great cold stuff at PPC on the weekends.
She convinced Mommy to let me try it even though I'm not supposed to have chocolate for awhile. At least it was vegan so Mommy was OK with me having a taste.

I really liked it and hope I get to try it again soon.
Mommy and Daddy talk about getting an ice cream attachment for the Kitchenaid mixer.
That would be AWESOME - ice cream all the time!

Fathers are key to toddler development | DIYFather.com - It's great to be a dad!

I read this somewhere a while ago but its nice to see it in print again. Yea Me (and men like me)!

Fathers are key to toddler development | DIYFather.com - It's great to be a dad!:

"As part of the investigations, kids aged 12 to 18 months (accompanied by a parent) were placed in three different risky situations: social risk (a strange adult entered his or her environment), physical risk (toys were placed at the top of a stairway), and a forbidden activity (parents were forbidden to climb the stairs after the child succeeded the first time). "We found fathers are more inclined than mothers to activate exploratory behavior by being less protective," says Paquette. "

"Paquette is convinced that mothers and fathers intervene differently in the education of a child and these complementarities benefit a child. 'Even if both parents change diapers and give the bottle, they don't do it the same way,' says Paquette. 'By stimulating exploration, controlled risk-taking and competition, fathers provide something different to the child who will benefit greatly from this singular contribution.'"

While Julia Was Sleeping ... EVERYWHERE?!?!

First of all, I love the movie "While You Were Sleeping" which stars recent Oscar winner Sandra Bullock. YEAH, Sandra!!! : )

That is partly why I was excited to create this post title to describe Julia's busy sleeping behavior. This girl is busy day AND night! Compared to where we put her down for her daytime naps and to bed in the evening, she is in completely different positions and places in the crib. It's a MINI crib, also - there's only so much room to move around!

Some people are pro-family bed - that's cool for them. I can not do it. Sometimes I move a lot during my sleep, too. Julia & I would knock into each other constantly!

She is SO cute when she's asleep - she's cute awake, too! : )

15 Months & Pushing the Envelope

Julia is 15 months old. What does that mean? She's growing and getting smarter. She's fine tuning her skills and becoming more aware of the world and herself.

You always hear stories about parents having eyes in the back of their heads. I think Julia has eyes in the back of her head b/c she doesn't seem to miss ANYthing. Part of it is the completeness of her senses. Neither Tara nor I hear or see as well as we used to, Julia is still new and incredibly sharp. She sees things out of the corners of her eyes, she hears the slightest noise from across the house. Its a little frustrating when you are trying to get her food ready before she realizes its time to eat and she hears the refrigerator open.

She's been doing so much that its hard to talk about what's different this month. She's getting better at climbing the stairs but she doesn't understand the going backwards down the stairs. Her babbling has gone to a new level with more word-like sounds, a stronger repertoire of sounds, and, of course, more words. She has recently figured out how to climb onto things and into cabinets. She likes to be chased by people and Johnders.

BREAKING NEWS: The day before yesterday she grabbed my finger and walked me to the refrigerator for a snack.

She is a master mimic. She loves imitating her Uncle Joel as well as dogs. It really is an onslaught of activity with her.

On the bad side: She is teething again and thus quite fussy. She is more specific about her wants and gets that much more agitated when we don't get it right. Mealtime can be a CUSS (if you saw "Fantastic Mr. Fox" you know what I mean)!

It continues to be a wonder and a joy to watch her grow and develop. I think I sound like a broken record about that but she continually amazes.