Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Birth of a Vampire

I think Julia is sucking Tara out through the nipple. The woman I married has dwindled to a mere shell (she looks like Tara but...) and I have to speculate she is being sucked out of Tara by Julia, the vampiric baby.

The mother of Julia is highly emotional, she cries all the time.
The mother of Julia is indecisive and insecure.
The mother of Julia hasn't turned the TV on in 2 days.
The mother of Julia eats wheat and corn.
The mother of Julia hasn't been to the gym in 10 or so days.
The mother of Julia drinks tea.
The mother of Julia gushes over the baby.

Those who know Tara, or knew Tara, can see that the mother of Julia is not the same woman.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Partnership

According to the doctor on her 2 month appointment, Julia was failing to thrive in the weight-gain category - she's gained 1 lb in six weeks and she should have gained about 2 lbs, if I understand correctly. I'll deal with all the emotional components later but the practical end was the Dr and a lactation specialist came up with a couple of game plans to help Julia get to her benchmark 1 week later (gain 6 oz) which she exceeded by 2 oz! The gameplan is for Tara to feed herself and the baby and do little else for the next 10 days or so. Which means either the house isn't clean and food is not cooked or I do it. We chose the latter. With a whole lotta help from friends I am picking up the slack.

What does that mean? It means I don't stop moving. Its only been a couple of days but damn! Here was my President's day looked like:

8am - change & feed Julia
feed Johnders, nurse Johnders (he came up a little gimpy Sunday evening) & show him some love, eat
feed Tara while Tara pumps.
drive to/from doctor's office
change Julia, prepare lunch while Tara feeds Julia
wash dishes & eat
feed julia
fold laundry
prepare dinner, change julia
feed johnders, eat
clean bathrooms (while the women goes to a La Leche Meeting)
laundry, dishes
feed julia
1am - change julia, go to bed

Today I am at work and I can't help wonder how Tara is managing and therein is the rub. I have been surprised to hear how complimentary, genuinely pleased and maybe even surprised that I am willingly pitching in at all, let alone that much.

But seriously what else am I supposed to do? Why would I respond otherwise, why would I not do whatever is in my power to help the woman I asked to share my life with and the child we created together? Is it that hard to understand that feeding a baby is serious work? The way I see it is right now Tara is responsible for 99% of Julia's physiological growth (the other part coming from exercising, kicking, crying, etc). Her muscles and organs need food to become stronger and more efficient. Tara is her sole source of food. Tara needs food to maintain her metabolism so that she can pass on the good stuff to Julia. That means Tara is working hard (invisibly, I might add...it looks like she's just laying there) but I can tell how hard she is working.

Is this a representation of the 21st century man? Am I redefining manliness or masculinity as being able to feel the tenor of a situation and then respond in a determined, serious yet compassionate and understanding manner. At the very least Tara and I vowed to each other, and yes, we did it before God, community and government, to "have & hold, through good times and bad". Why are people so surprised to see this happen? Why is it so difficult to do this, if you aren't doing it?

Monday, February 9, 2009

From Aunt Susie...

Hi. Happy '2 months' Birthday!!

How exciting for you (and your roommates!). I heard that Grandma Bonnie sang to you on 1/9. That would be a bad idea for me to try that with you because I want you to eventually speak to me...lol. Hope you like this thoughtful email message at midnight instead. Keep your eyes on that postcard I sent you on New Year's Eve. Pretty soon we will be able to catch up in person again. It may be only 3.5 weeks away. Also try to take it easy on the crying so everyone in your house stays healthy and rested (and you get prepared for your first visit to Phoenix)! I know you are going to love it here!! Enjoy "He's Just Not That Into You" on Tuesday. Stay smart and strong (and that other cute thing too)! Take care.

Much love, Susie :)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The family that exercises together

Tara and I are opposite poles on the exercise spectrum. She thrives on high energy workouts and I loathe them. Give me a long hike or a yoga class and I'm fine. Put me in an exercise room and I can't wait to get out.

As a pregnant woman Tara's exercise became increasing limited and then there was post delivery recovery time. Now Tara is up and back at it. Tara posted a happy one month birthday to Julia; however, I think Tara was more excited about the 6 week birthday b/c that meant Julia could become a member of the YMCA and Julia could stay in the nursery. If Julia can stay in the nursery Tara can go to Zumba or water aerobics and that makes a happy Tara.

What was unexpected was the Wed. Julia turned 6 weeks we went to the Y, I suffered on the elliptical and bike while Tara did whatever. When we were leaving Tara was beaming! She was so excited b/c 1. she got to workout, 2. all of us were at the Y which means were utilizing our membership (Tara's frugality is never far from the surface).

We've gotten a routine started that includes Sat mornings, which probably makes me hate exercise more than I already did. This past weekend it also included a walk at Shelby Bottoms with Johnders in tow. The whole family out at the park!

Partners are there to support us but they are also there to challenge us. Tara is doing both when she gets me to the Y. She is challenging me & supporting my efforts to be a better person, a healthier person. I can't play around with my health (my hypertension). I want to see Julia grow up and accomplish things. Its hard b/c I'm such a procrastinator. Tara is doing her part. I need to pick up the pace on my end.

Sunday, February 1, 2009