Birth of a Vampire

I think Julia is sucking Tara out through the nipple. The woman I married has dwindled to a mere shell (she looks like Tara but...) and I have to speculate she is being sucked out of Tara by Julia, the vampiric baby.

The mother of Julia is highly emotional, she cries all the time.
The mother of Julia is indecisive and insecure.
The mother of Julia hasn't turned the TV on in 2 days.
The mother of Julia eats wheat and corn.
The mother of Julia hasn't been to the gym in 10 or so days.
The mother of Julia drinks tea.
The mother of Julia gushes over the baby.

Those who know Tara, or knew Tara, can see that the mother of Julia is not the same woman.

Partnership

According to the doctor on her 2 month appointment, Julia was failing to thrive in the weight-gain category - she's gained 1 lb in six weeks and she should have gained about 2 lbs, if I understand correctly. I'll deal with all the emotional components later but the practical end was the Dr and a lactation specialist came up with a couple of game plans to help Julia get to her benchmark 1 week later (gain 6 oz) which she exceeded by 2 oz! The gameplan is for Tara to feed herself and the baby and do little else for the next 10 days or so. Which means either the house isn't clean and food is not cooked or I do it. We chose the latter. With a whole lotta help from friends I am picking up the slack.

What does that mean? It means I don't stop moving. Its only been a couple of days but damn! Here was my President's day looked like:

8am - change & feed Julia
feed Johnders, nurse Johnders (he came up a little gimpy Sunday evening) & show him some love, eat
feed Tara while Tara pumps.
drive to/from doctor's office
change Julia, prepare lunch while Tara feeds Julia
wash dishes & eat
feed julia
fold laundry
prepare dinner, change julia
feed johnders, eat
clean bathrooms (while the women goes to a La Leche Meeting)
laundry, dishes
feed julia
1am - change julia, go to bed

Today I am at work and I can't help wonder how Tara is managing and therein is the rub. I have been surprised to hear how complimentary, genuinely pleased and maybe even surprised that I am willingly pitching in at all, let alone that much.

But seriously what else am I supposed to do? Why would I respond otherwise, why would I not do whatever is in my power to help the woman I asked to share my life with and the child we created together? Is it that hard to understand that feeding a baby is serious work? The way I see it is right now Tara is responsible for 99% of Julia's physiological growth (the other part coming from exercising, kicking, crying, etc). Her muscles and organs need food to become stronger and more efficient. Tara is her sole source of food. Tara needs food to maintain her metabolism so that she can pass on the good stuff to Julia. That means Tara is working hard (invisibly, I might add...it looks like she's just laying there) but I can tell how hard she is working.

Is this a representation of the 21st century man? Am I redefining manliness or masculinity as being able to feel the tenor of a situation and then respond in a determined, serious yet compassionate and understanding manner. At the very least Tara and I vowed to each other, and yes, we did it before God, community and government, to "have & hold, through good times and bad". Why are people so surprised to see this happen? Why is it so difficult to do this, if you aren't doing it?

From Aunt Susie...

Hi. Happy '2 months' Birthday!!

How exciting for you (and your roommates!). I heard that Grandma Bonnie sang to you on 1/9. That would be a bad idea for me to try that with you because I want you to eventually speak to me...lol. Hope you like this thoughtful email message at midnight instead. Keep your eyes on that postcard I sent you on New Year's Eve. Pretty soon we will be able to catch up in person again. It may be only 3.5 weeks away. Also try to take it easy on the crying so everyone in your house stays healthy and rested (and you get prepared for your first visit to Phoenix)! I know you are going to love it here!! Enjoy "He's Just Not That Into You" on Tuesday. Stay smart and strong (and that other cute thing too)! Take care.

Much love, Susie :)

The family that exercises together

Tara and I are opposite poles on the exercise spectrum. She thrives on high energy workouts and I loathe them. Give me a long hike or a yoga class and I'm fine. Put me in an exercise room and I can't wait to get out.

As a pregnant woman Tara's exercise became increasing limited and then there was post delivery recovery time. Now Tara is up and back at it. Tara posted a happy one month birthday to Julia; however, I think Tara was more excited about the 6 week birthday b/c that meant Julia could become a member of the YMCA and Julia could stay in the nursery. If Julia can stay in the nursery Tara can go to Zumba or water aerobics and that makes a happy Tara.

What was unexpected was the Wed. Julia turned 6 weeks we went to the Y, I suffered on the elliptical and bike while Tara did whatever. When we were leaving Tara was beaming! She was so excited b/c 1. she got to workout, 2. all of us were at the Y which means were utilizing our membership (Tara's frugality is never far from the surface).

We've gotten a routine started that includes Sat mornings, which probably makes me hate exercise more than I already did. This past weekend it also included a walk at Shelby Bottoms with Johnders in tow. The whole family out at the park!

Partners are there to support us but they are also there to challenge us. Tara is doing both when she gets me to the Y. She is challenging me & supporting my efforts to be a better person, a healthier person. I can't play around with my health (my hypertension). I want to see Julia grow up and accomplish things. Its hard b/c I'm such a procrastinator. Tara is doing her part. I need to pick up the pace on my end.

Sweetness

I'm already making news!

Julia here.

The Tennessean finally found a spot for my birth announcement and photo. My mom & dad sent the photo and notice in weeks ago, one of their favorite staff writers even sent a congratulations but they sure took a long time to find a spot for my info.

Now that they know me, I know they won't delay so long the next time.

"Jai" has been replaced with...

"Hey, Would You..."

I know, I know. Tara is working her ass off trying to feed this adorable little baby so the least I can do is be errand boy but sometimes it feels insane. She will say "Hey, Would you..." or some variation something like once every 30 seconds.

Look ma! I'm 6 weeks old.

vacuum cleaner - my savior!

I love this invention. Sometimes (many times) when it seems like nothing will get Julia to sleep, I will turn on this cleaning device and voila, asleep! It is a miracle worker. A nice by-product is a room gets clean at the same time, too! Win-win for Tara, love to multi-task! : )

Family Bed

The first few weeks we had the crib in our room next to my side of the bed. With the surgery recovery it was difficult to get up and down from the bed to feed Julia. We didn't think to put the crib on Jai's side and have him hand her to me! : ) However, we improvised and used the wedge thing we have in her crib and put her on it in the middle of our bed. It worked and since it was a temporary solution we didn't worry about her separating us - limited snuggling opportunity anyway! : )

We moved her crib back to the nursery last week and so far so good. Jai gets up and changes her diaper before feedings and then brings her back to our bed. I'm trying the lying down position with modifications with some success. It allows me to be more comfortable in bed and sometimes I can close my eyes and rest. Unfortunately the baby monitor generates awful static so we keep our bedroom door open and listen for her sounds - luckily the nursery is really close. Jai doesn't seem to hear Julia as well as I do!

When asleep Jai doesn't wake up as quickly. (Jai added comment)

We're glad Julia seems settled in her space and we have our bed for us. We read about doing the co-sleeping idea and creating a family bed, but decided it wasn't what we wanted to do. Hopefully all will continue to go well.

A Big Thank You

I've only talked a little about Johnders so it is at this moment I want to thank the people who dumped him at a La Quinta Inn in Alabama. Tara and I couldn't have asked for a better precursor to Julia and now that Julia is here we couldn't ask for a better family friend and protector.

Free at Last!

Yesterday I was having a hard time, nothing going right, lots of crying.

I wanted to work on pumping in order to give enough breast milk to Bonnie who was going to watch Julia while Jai and I saw a movie after church. On Friday I worked with a postpartum doula, Joni M., (thanks to a wonderful baby shower gift from a co-worker) on using the breast pump & successfully pumped 1 oz. from one breast in only 5 minutes. I naively thought it would be easy to produce more for Sunday's date yet didn't pump anymore that day. We thought Jai could feed Julia (a treat for him!) and see how she'd react to the bottle nipple. No problemo - Julia will get her food however necessary! Of course I had to provide part 2 of J's meal. : ) However, I didn't realize how precious that 1 oz. would be!

Anyway, having a hard time ... didn't know how to feed Julia while storing milk. When do you do it when the baby nurses often?! I don't want Julia to be hungry. She already has these skinny arms & legs that make me call her "baby Gollum."

We (Jai) go to the computer and search the World Wide Web. : )

Despite the helpful information, I only managed to pump 2 oz. in 2 different sessions. Also Julia was very fussy and wouldn't sleep more than 10-15 minutes so that means Tara didn't sleep! At some point I said to myself I need a break. I realized that I had not been ALONE in 30+ days - like completely alone, not just taking a shower or taking a nap, but away! When Jai got back from dog park & grocery store I was going somewhere, anywhere (even though it was nasty & raining outside) for ONE hour.

Jai got home at 4:15pm, I told him the plan, gave him some instructions about Julia's last feeding and diaper change and I left. I drove to Ugly Mugs coffee shop near our house, got a piece of banana bread (yum!) (ironic since I make it all the time!), sat and read my 2 week old copy of EW. Heaven!

When I returned home at 5:30pm, I discovered an empty bottle ... the 2 oz. of pumped breast milk was gone! Jai hadn't heard/listened to my instructions and Julia seemed hungry and he fed her - he was so proud of his accomplishment. I said to Jai "I guess we're taking her to the movie with us ..." Then I went to the bathroom and cried for about 20 minutes! : (

I was so sad - how was I going to produce enough breast milk? I'd read that you have more milk earlier in the day and I struggled to get those 2 oz. However, you know Tara, I'm determined, I want to see a movie!

Jai said he didn't know why I was pumping, didn't remember the connection with the movie date and Bonnie. After talking with Jai about communication : ) and eating some dinner, I tried again & got 1 oz. out of me. This morning I woke early and got another 1.5 oz. before we left for church. Bonnie wanted 6 oz. - yeah, right! She almost got 1/2 of that!

I fed Julia at church and at Bonnie's house before Jai got there. We left at 1:20pm, show time is 1:40pm at Green Hills theater, got there to a long line. However, I had our seats at 1:39pm and saw previews as people continued to stroll into the theater and search frantically for seats. We saw "Slumdog Millionaire" which I think is the best picture of the year. It is awesome! It was fascinating to see scenes of India - almost 15 years since I traveled there though I didn't go to Mumbai (or Bombay as it was known then). However, the stories of poverty haven't changed.

We called Bonnie at 3:50pm. Julia was sound asleep. She'd already eaten the 2.5 oz. - Bonnie paced her : ) - though no need to rush. Actually we got there and visited with Bonnie & LJ, Julia was still asleep and didn't wake until we got home. HUGE success! : )

Bonnie and I have a DATE on Tuesday to see a sneak preview of "Revolutionary Road" (thanks to my Nashville Film Festival membership!). Jai will have the opportunity to watch Julia alone for a few hours ... hopefully I'll be successful at providing him with 6 oz. : )

Miss Personality

Even at 4 weeks old (and before), we know Julia has got some personality. This girl already seems like such a character! It might be gas (that's what you hear), but she already smiles, almost beams at you as if you are the best thing ever, and laughter will soon follow.

Every parent believes their baby is the most clever, awesome, beautiful, brilliant (and additional positive adjectives). I used to laugh and think how nauseating and now I am that parent! Julia completely fascinates me and I find myself compelled to stare at her. Actually she has an amazing ability to stare - I would not want to be in a contest with Julia as I would lose!

We feel extremely lucky as we call Julia our zen baby. She is usually calm and peaceful (as long as her meal ticket isn't taking too long). People said the baby would probably be calm outside the womb since she was calm while I pregnant, but you never know. No guarantees!

All babies might make these hand motions, but I've never heard anyone mention it (though I usually didn't listen to those kind of baby details from other parents):
rock star - she did this one the other day with her fingers; we chuckled
flipped off - that middle finger seems conveniently UP too often : )
fists - Julia keeps her "dukes" up, especially while nursing - don't mess with her food source!
prayer - she folds her hands over one another, adorable
yoga pose - Julia has put those 2 fingers together a few times

Tara forgot to mention the diva pose - one hand behind her head

Staring at the ceiling fans - we discovered that our friends' 5 month old son, Sam, does this often too and we wondered what is with it. Most of the rooms in our house have fans, but Julia & Sam stare at light fixtures too. We suspect it is the contrast of dark on light, but we didn't think babies could see that far at this age. Who knows, but she points her stare on the ceiling just as she does people.

Swaddle Houdini - that's one of our nicknames for Julia. It doesn't matter how well we think we've wrapped her in a blanket, Julia's hands/arms eventually escape the wrap. Extremely frustrating! Our friends loaned us one of Sam's "magic" swaddle (that's what I call it) which is an awesome invention. Amazingly Julia is able to wrangle her way out, but not as often as with the traditional blanket wrap.

Julia makes all kinds of movements & noises, grunts and sighs and those stretches! One of her funniest is the snort. Julia loves to suck and the breast can only be available so much. Once she discovered her fingers, life was good. Now Julia works on getting her thumb in mouth and the snorting began! Last night she successfully kept it in for a minute or so and the expression of bliss was priceless (as was the sound of silence as the crying ceased). Julia has long fingers and that thumb and people mention piano playing (thankfully we have one, needs tuning).

Julia is one determined girl & the most AWESOME baby ever!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Julia is ONE month old today!

WOW - time flies!

Bonnie called and sang to her! : )

The way I see the world

The way I see the world
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

Julia was breech so this is an apropos photo, don't you think?

La Leche League meeting

Today I went to the day LLL meeting in Nashville. I attended an evening meeting in November and really enjoyed my experience with these wonderful women. I was excited to return to a meeting with my baby!

It is encouraging to be surrounded by all these awesome & empowered breastfeeding (and some pregnant as I was at my first meeting) women, an opportunity to share experiences and also get feedback if having issues. The meeting typically includes a training/educational component. The diverse group of women and their children creates such a lovely supportive environment which I really needed this week in my efforts to breastfeed effectively.

As I arrived late (it seems like my new calling card) they were introducing themselves, their child and his/her age and also what you like about breastfeeding. Today's topic was about the basic fundamentals of breastfeeding. I, of course, shared that I like the free aspect of breastfeeding, not necessary to buy formula or deal with bottles. There are many health benefits for both the mother and child. Also the emotional connection to your child builds trust and bonding. There is also the convenient aspect of breastfeeding in terms of readiness whereever you are, again no need for bottles and formula.

Someone mentioned the connection between mothers and daughters who breastfed which I never thought of. Bonnie didn't breastfeed us (she listened to the doctor). However, it seems understandable as it must be very challenging with TWO babies. Having a daughter it makes me excited about Julia breastfeeding her children, possibly a daughter, in the far future!

Another woman mentioned the generational gap - a large portion of a generation who didn't breastfeed. Women (my mother's age) were told that breast feeding was inferior (poor people's food) and formula much more superior. Bonnie is an example of that generation who didn't breastfeed and therefore cannot share that experience with me. She also mentioned the incidence of cancer, so much now, and the possible connection between not breastfeeding, having consequences for both mother and child, especially a female child.

One of my favorites: how the exposure of breastfeeding impacts young children, especially boys. The woman shared about a boy hearing a baby cry and saying "someone needs to nurse this baby." I think of LJ on our first evening home from hospital and how he helped me position a pillow in order to feed Julia. Most 14 year olds might be embarrassed to even know what I was doing, much less assist me.

We are powerful women and we make milk to feed our children!

No sleep for the weary

Yesterday Julia decided that crying is better than sleeping.

As far as we could tell there is nothing really wrong with her, her temp was at the low end of the acceptable range, her diaper had been relatively poopless. She was eating and burping but after 5pm she did more crying than not. It got worse around 9:30pm when Tara and I got a little short with each other. We tried every trick in the book (literally) to help get her to sleep. Finally at 1:30am I decided to try something one of my "new father" books suggests - let her cry it out, unattended for 10 minutes. I changed her, swaddled her as tight as I could manage, turned the lights off and took a shower. I heard her cry through the entire shower - my mind was racing wondering what was wrong. As I was toweling off at about the 8 minute mark, her crying slowed and by the time I was out she was was asleep. She slept the rest of the night ... thankfully!

Why Mothers are the Best Thing in the World!

... and husband and sister and friends ...

I feel very blessed to have lots of support. I am lucky to have my mom, Bonnie, in the same city. I realize that many people are not as fortunate to have family and friend support.

week 1 Jai was off work and at the hospital Tuesday-Thursday & then at home Friday-Monday, also Bonnie was with us at the hospital and home Tuesday-Saturday during the day
week 2 Jai returns to work on Tuesday, Bonnie is with us Monday-Friday during the day
week 3 Bonnie is with us on Monday, Susie arrives Monday night and stays with us until she leaves on Dec. 29, Jai was off Wednesday-Sunday
week 4 Bonnie was with us Monday & Tuesday during the day, my first day alone was Wednesday (New Year's Eve), Jai off for New Year's Day, again I'm alone on Friday

I really wonder how couples without resources, or especially single parents, handle the overwhelming work of being new parents. Despite the amount of reading Jai and I did and do, we constantly feel like we don't know what we're doing. Instinct and common sense help, but sometimes we are perplexed and paranoid about Julia's welfare, especially during the LONG crying moments.

Anyway, back to my mother. Bonnie was with us every day while at the hospital, then when we went home until my sister arrived and then Susie was with us until she returned to Phoenix. We suspect it was so Bonnie got to hold Julia as much as possible! : ) We're lucky she says hello to me and Jai before demanding to hold Ms. J. Sometimes she has to bide her time & visit with me if I'm breastfeeding when she gets to our house! : )

On the days she doesn't come to our house, she calls and checks on us. Bonnie is an invaluable resource - good suggestions, sounding board, confidence builder, especially with the breastfeeding challenges. Even though she didn't breastfeed Susie and I, she is constantly supportive and advocates for Julia and I to succeed.

Normally I see my mom regularly, usually every Sunday at church, and then at biweekly knitting group meetings. In addition I saw her almost every other week for healing sessions during most of the third trimester while pregnant. However, it has been really nice to have hours of time with her to talk about various topics, most parenting-related, especially during the many hours of breastfeeding.

Initially we processed the birth experience. I feel sad that we had to leave my mom alone in the L&D room as first I left to be prepped in the O.R. and then Jai joined me there. I remember hearing her say "make sure someone comes and tells me what happens." She was there to be our coach as well as welcome her first biological grandchild into the world and she lost that experience. Luckily she met Jai and Julia in the hallway as they went to the nursery.

I stare at Julia for hours and sometimes J looks like Bonnie which we all have noticed though usually I see Susie in her. That makes most people laugh since S and I are twins & therefore Julia looks like me! : ) However, Susie & I are not identical twins, despite some thinking otherwise. When I think of our baby pictures, I recall that S has a different shaped face, more oval shaped. Anyway, it has been neat for Bonnie to examine Julia for family features. She hadn't been able to identify with the other 4 grandchildren (my brother Joel is adopted if you didn't know) in that kind of way. However, we all think Julia looks like her cousin, Jaliyah (Joel's middle daughter) who ironically I think is most like my personality (though she enjoys playing in the dirt and gardening with Grandma Bonnie).

There are usually lots of funny stories when I think of my mom. She says and does funny things as do most of us. This one really surprised me. However, I will cut her some slack. It was a very visceral response to seeing and being with Julia - overwhelmed with the love.

We're in the hospital room.
B: I have to go shopping for an outfit for her.
T: ... WHAT?!
Bonnie: She's so adorable and I need to put her in something cute.
T: (sigh) Bonnie, you know how we feel about consumerism. She doesn't need a new outfit.
B: I know, but I want to put her in something!
T: We have plenty of clothes. You can go "shopping" at the "store" in the nursery at our house.

The next week when we're at home, Bonnie goes upstairs to the nursery while I'm feeding Julia. Bonnie is putting stuff away in Julia's dresser. Soonafter I hear exclamations of "oh, that's cute" and "so adorable!" as she looks through Julia's many outfits. Some of them are not fitting yet since she's so small still, but we're looking forward to all of the future choices for Grandma Bonnie.

Another funny story about Bonnie and Julia. When Jai and I were discussing our ideas for child care for the baby, we hoped that my mom might be willing and able to watch her for one day a week. We asked her about it and she said probably it would work, but she wasn't particularly committed, kind of vague. Once we learned of the lack of a flexible work schedule for Jai, we didn't worry too much about Bonnie's hesitation to commit.

Well, the other day she tells me about a new plan that involves her watching Julia one day. She also might get some others (Buddy, Lois) to help us for 2-3 days ... Julia truly has captured Grandma Bonnie's heart! She really thinks Susie won't be able to be separated from Julia and could be our nanny. : ) Also while I'm on maternity leave, I asked and she agreed to give me some time when I need a break (go to the dentist, see a movie, visit a friend). She said she was going to offer, but wasn't sure if it was too soon!

Love it! Love Bonnie! Thanks, Mom! : )

Wellesley College Baby Grand Slam

This year 4 babies (3 girls and 1 boy) were born - hence the Grand Slam reference - within my group of college friends. The current tally is 9 babies. Now we have 6 prospective Wellesley College students for the classes of 2026-2031! : )

When I announced my pregnancy to them, Christine's January baby was here and I knew of Deidre's impending July baby, so I framed our baby news in the sports context of a hat trick. Then Nancy emailed us all and said a Grand Slam was more appropriate since she was also pregnant, due in November. The Grand Slam analogy is more apropos because Pauline (my original tennis camp buddy) actually completed the tennis Grand Slam by attending all 4 tournaments: Australian Open in January with Pete (a friend who we met in college), French Open with Lisa, Wimbledon with Tara and US Open with Lisa & Pete (I went with P & P in 2007).

7 of us lived in the same dorm (Munger) our first year at Wellesley College, actually 4 of us (Tara, Elizabeth, Nancy, Deidre) lived on the same floor. We've stayed in consistent contact for the past 20 years. It is a joy to see one or more of each other during the year. Sometimes they are spontaneous opportunities & more join the reunion, like with tennis camp & GS tournaments.

In addition to attending our class reunion every 5 years (most of us go), we usually try to create mini-reunion moments every 2 years.

2002 we rented a house on Martha's Vineyard for a week - last reunion with no children born yet
2003 we went to PA for Nancy's first baby shower
2005 my wedding in Nashville!
2006 we rented a house in North Carolina's Outer Banks for a week (17 total =7+5 spouses+5 children
2007 photo above is WC reunion: Lisa, Christine, Tara, Elizabeth, Pauline (Deidre left early, Nancy's husband's college reunion was same weekend)
2008 Pauline, Lisa & Tara (plus Susie) went to tennis camp together
2009 where will the group go...other than tennis camp! Elizabeth might join us plus HER sister. :)
2010 we've discussed a women-only reunion ... we all turn 40!
2012 our next WC reunion

There have been interesting connections with all the babies.
2 natural, 2 C-sections
2 to start & end the year - 1 baby in January, 1 in December
2 first time babies, 2 additions
2 "same" middle names - Francis (the boy) & Frances (Julia - obviously)

What a bountiful year of Wellesley babies! : )

Silver Linings

Again I find myself lucky to get on-line and check email and post my thoughts to the blog. Breastfeeding is an all-consuming job in addition to eating and sleeping and daily showering. : ) So many people said I wouldn't shower for a month. I really was confused about it; basically I have a minimum once-a-day policy regarding my personal hygiene. However, I used to have a policy about sleeping 7-9 hours a night ... that's definitely changed!

Here are some thoughts about the C-section. I grieved a lot the first few days after being home from the hospital. I was surprised at how strong my emotions were about the loss of natural childbirth and not seeing Julia born and held by us immediately. Instead we heard a voice on the other side of the blue drape announce "it's a girl." I cried and cried, especially during the early mornings as I dealt with the painful blocked milk ducts on limited sleep and sore nipples.

In hindsight I realize that the normal feelings of grief and loss apply to many kinds of situations. Denial, sadness, bargaining, anger, finally acceptance. Denial and bargaining don't really apply. However, I was SO angry and felt robbed, especially when I think about reaching 9 cm dilation ... I was there! I realize how close we were to delivering Julia at home because of not getting to the hospital sooner. I continue to work toward acceptance and Julia makes anything and everything possible!

Anyway, Jai jumped into the parent role quickly in the O.R. Here are some other positives.
1. Jai watched over Julia while the nursery and pediatric staff evaluated her vitals. He always was with her when it was necessary to go the nursery. He did a great job!
2. Many people commented on her "pretty" face which might have looked "ugly" if Julia had traveled through the birth canal. Some newborns emerge looking good! : )
3. With my physical limitations I cannot obsess over cleaning the house. That is definitely a good thing for me - I like things in order. It actually has been wonderful to have others cook, wash dishes and clothes and vacuum, clean the bathroom. Jai and I share a lot of household responsibilities, but it is always nice to take a break from it.

The first 6 weeks are so important to rest and focus on being a parent and bond with Julia. I find myself falling in love with her more each day!

Julia's Birth Story: Part 3 (Jai's Version)

For weeks I'd been frustrated that nothing was happening. I came home from work on Monday, the 8th and Tara looked a bit more tired than usual. She expressed some concerns over the contractions but I didn't think much about it since we'd been dealing with Braxton-Hicks for awhile. I asked her if they were more intense, she said not really. I asked if they were more frequent, she said she hadn't noticed. I pulled out one of my dad-to-be books and asked Tara to time them...the book said something about 5 min apart. She said they weren't and we continued our night. I fixed dinner, we watched a little TV and Tara decided to go to bed.

An hour or so later she says she can't go to sleep b/c of the contractions which were only a minute or so more frequent than before. She told me I needed to come to bed earlier than my usual time b/c who knows how much longer I would be able to get sleep, I didn't listen. I crawled in bed about 12midnight and we spooned and I rubbed her back as I dozed off. Within 15 minutes, Tara exclaims something. I ask and she says her water just broke. She carefully walked to the bathroom, I got the phone, Tara gave me the midwife office phone. Soyehl was on call and asked me what color was the fluid; just as I asked Tara she says "Oh, gross, that's nasty." I tell Soheyl that its greenish and tells me that is meconium and we should go straight to the hospital. She doesn't explain, I don't ask. I call Bonnie and tell her what's going on.

We were both hurried but I felt surprisingly calm and focused. Nervously, I let Johnders out. It was the middle of the night and I didn't know when we would be back. He thought it was a game. I got my bag, filled with a change of clothes, a book, Tara's laptop, my iPod, a comb and toothbrush. As we left, it was obvious that Johnders knew something was going on.

As I think about it, I knew something was going on too, it had only been a day or two earlier that I sent an email to my desk replacements to make sure I had proper contact info. It had been only a day or two that I filled a giant plastic bag with Johnders' food. It was earlier in the evening that I first asked Tara which route she preferred to get to the hospital. I asked b/c invariably I take the highway and Tara asks why I went that way and I didn't want to be on the way to the hospital and have THAT conversation.

We calmly make it to the hospital. Along the way Tara had couple of contractions but she was far more worried about getting messy...amniotic fluid continued to flow...more than the pain she was feeling. Her calmness allowed me to be calm. We made it to Vandy's Emergency Room and the valet was about to take the car, I had the bags and the car wouldn't start. I went back to see what was going on - the battery had died. Let me repeat.

We ARRIVED at Vanderbilt Hospital and the battery died.

The universe conspiring to move my life forward (I'll tell you about the night my dad died at some other point). Tara proceeded to check in and have contractions but finally the valet said he would figure it out, which he did and I finally got inside with Tara.

I think it was the broccoli

Julia & I just finished - I hope we are finished - our first marathon cry session.

She's now sleeping across my lap but she has been crying and her stomach has been gurgling since 10:30. It's 12:10 now.

I'm looking through 2 of my parenting books and one of them talks about colic and mentions broccoli as a bad idea for breastfeeding mothers. Guess what we had for dinner!?!?!

Yep, we had broccoli.

Separation of Duties

Julia mystifies

Tara feeds

Bonnie soothes

Jai cleans

The Joys of Julia - there are so many!

Julia is truly a sweet baby. She is content to sleep in someone's arms and she makes the most adorable facial expressions (purses those lips, coos, smiles) and noises (grunts, snorts). I find myself staring at her, seemingly for hours, which I have plenty of time while she nurses. Julia has long fingers which I find myself touching often (sometimes picking off her dry, flaky skin thanks to 9+ months surrounded by amniotic fluid). She also makes many motions with her hands and fingers, especially while she nurses, one which sometimes reminds me of a kitten kneading the mother cat's breast.

Julia is more alert each day, staring with such focus and attention. We're not sure who she recognizes yet. She seems to like to stare at the ceiling fans which is probably because babies see black and white contrast best at this age. She smiles more and more and soon she'll be holding her head up more strongly.

We try to read a book to her every day. The other day I realized Jai was reading something from EW to her and he also reads the newspaper with her. : ) We didn't read to her much while I was pregnant so we figured it is never too early to model reading and begin the practice and habit of daily reading.

Everyone, including us, refers to how beautiful Julia is. A few days after Julia's birth I started to feel uncomfortable about how much her beauty is referenced so we added a tag line about her intelligence, especially true because of her breastfeeding ability. "Beautiful (or cute or pretty) ... and smart" has become our new phrase.

Pediatrician

We didn't name a person at the hospital so the staff pediatricians provided care for Julia while we were there. We had met with one doctor in October and liked her. We tried to meet with some others, but found prenatal visits to be challenging to schedule (most don't do it). Ironically we had an appointment with a family practice doctor recommended by a friend for the Wednesday after Julia was born. We decided to go ahead and meet with this doctor for the 2 day discharge visit and see how she interacted with us and the baby. Luckily we were impressed with Dr. Robinson's presentation, she is extremely personable and knowledgeable. Another irony is that both Jai and I need new doctors because mine moved to another city while I was pregnant and using the midwifery center and Jai's doctor is having a baby in a few weeks. We're excited about the possibility of us all being in the same family practice. It is also close to our home so super blessing!