Baby Sounds

When most people think of baby sounds they (including pre-Julia me) usually think of the sweet cooing or the mind-numbing wails.

I am here to tell you that there is a symphony of sounds an almost 8 month old can make. You do have that sweet cooing and that distressing wail but you also have extended, wet raspberries and shrieks that bring to mind a velociraptor or pterodactyl. There is the constant chatter that reminds me of what Nell might sound like in the midst of a Jack Daniels binge.

Recently there has been a combination of noises that gives the aural image of what I think an insane asylum (I know, I know.) might sound like. Julia has discovered that sometimes it is more fun to stand up and cling to the side of the crib for dear life - instead of sleeping. This action is accompanied by a progression of baby noises starting with a grunt or two and then some talking combined with shierks of joy and raspberries. You will probably hear some growls (this is very new) and yells (for no particular reason) and back to the chatter. The intensity builds to a silence and that silence is usually followed by screams and cries of frustration - we think its b/c she can't figure out how to sit back down. This level of frustration will build until she hears us move toward the stairs and when we are in eyesight we are greeted by her beaming smile and a joyous outburst, followed by giggles. If you take that series and progression of sounds and put it with an adult voice you get something akin to Renfield in Dracula but with Julia it just makes her that much cuter.

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My Insane Daily Schedule

5am wake, change Julia's diaper, feed her
5:45am get Julia to sleep for a.m. nap so Jai can sleep longer (hopefully)
6am pump session # 1- get an extra ounce for Julia's bottle
6:25 exercise - ride my stationary bike for at least 15 minutes, 10-15 push ups (these arms are FLABBY!)
6:45am breakfast prep, pack up pumping gear (drying from cleaning night before)
7:00am shower & dress
7:30am eat breakfast, put lunch in bag
7:45am out the door, drive to work, drink Mother's Milk Tea

8:30am-4:00pm are my work hours

8:00am pump # 2 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
10:30am pump # 3 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
11:00-12:30pm eat a snack, later eat lunch at desk
1:00pm pump # 4 - hope to get a decent amount (2+ ounces)
3:30pm pump # 5 - usually get the most (3 ounces)

I get some work done in the intervals between pumping sessions, but it's challenging, especially because interruptions are the norm in a school.

Sidebar: I am without clerical support until Aug. 11 and new student registration is Aug. 3-7. My principal assigns that responsibility to Guidance (i.e. me) as well as make schedules for all the students. Despite the fact that she and the school secretary are there all summer and could work on schedules and students could get a copy way before school starts. I'm definitely tired of how middle schools staff Guidance support and counselors. I am the only counselor this year for 470 students! Basically I am a highly paid clerical person who does some counseling work. High schools get tons of clerical support and in elementary schools the counselors have much more counseling interactions with students. I've done my time in high school; I think it is time to move to elementary.

4:00pm pack up stuff, leave for home

4:30pm say hi, hugs & kisses to Jai & Julia - so glad to see them!
go to bathroom, unpack bags (sometimes Jai does it), wash & sterilize pumping gear (those Medela micro-steam bags are awesome!)
5:00pm change Julia's diaper, feed her
5:40pm hope to get Julia to sleep for a little nap
6:00pm Jai & I eat dinner & visit together
anytime between 7:00-7:45pm change Julia to PJ's, change diaper, feed her
after 8:00pm make sure lunch & breakfast prep is done, make cup of Mother's Milk tea, shower
by 9:00pm in bed, write in Grateful journal, read book for 5-10 minutes before falling asleep
at or before 9:00pm lights off

Weekend schedule is all breastfeeding. I plan to pump after 1-3 feedings in order to increase supply. We rented a hospital-grade pump again, this time so I have it at work to get the most milk out of me and to decrease the back & forth of carrying my pump every day. Tedious!

I pumped about 7 ounces on Monday; I pumped 11 ounces today. It's getting there.
We try to give her 14-15 ounces in 3 bottles. I don't think she drinks that much in those 3 daytime feedings from me, but we don't want her to lose weight, she's already light.
I'd like to get 13-14 ounces in 3-4 pumpings instead of 5. Until that happens we've been using stored milk in the freezer. If I pump less than 11 ounces a day, we'll run through the frozen stash by the end of August. However, with the post-feeding pumping, More Milk Plus herbal supplement 4 times a day, Mother's Milk tea twice a day, eating right and lots of rest, we've seen an increase in my milk supply this week. Ironically when Julia started sleeping through the night, my milk supply steadily declined in addition to the damage I did in June with my creative pumping. We're going to start solids in August - tomorrow! Come on high calorie bananas and avocados!

Luckily this is temporary - December 8 is ONE year which is my ultimate goal! At least that is when I'll stop pumping at work with this zeal. If Julia wants to continue to breastfeed, we'll do it when I'm home - that will still be 3-4 times a day, more on weekends.

Right now I don't do much else. I sometimes watch TV while I pump, but usually I don't; sometimes I look at the Internet. I miss my TV shows - I'm addicted to TV. However, usually I try to focus on being positive while I pump and think about Julia and making milk for her.

In a way I am glad to be back at work and I know Jai is happy to be home with Julia. I miss her more than I did in May which surprised me. Jai is wonderful with her, they have a great time together and I am greeted with Julia's beautiful smile each afternoon and stories of her daily adventures (Example A: Spiderwoman photo). Jai cooks dinner, makes my lunch and usually helps make my breakfast. When I was home and Jai worked at NPL, sometimes I made dinner, sometimes made his lunch [usually dinner leftovers, but he also could go out in a pinch though we try not to for economic reasons; I cannot go out for lunch (pumping!)] and sometimes I made his breakfast. I don't know who's getting the better deal.

We both are because we're Julia's parents! : )

Our First Day Together

Tara left for a new school year around 8am this morning and from then until 4pm it was all me, Julia & Johnders.

Here's what the day looked like.

8am - Tara left. I attempted to get a very active baby to sleep...no success in the crib so I shaved (it had been a couple of weeks)
9am - Julia still awake, meaning no early AM nap. Jai pulls out the sling Tara has so much trouble with and surprisingly tucks Julia in neatly. She immediately stops all noise and just sits there, staring. We get Johnders for breakfast, my 2nd cup of coffee and a game of "Battle for Middle Earth II" (yes, you can call me a geek). Julia dozes off for about 20 minutes.
10am - phone wakes Julia (still in sling, in my lap), I get Julia's milk ready. I, nor Julia, like the Adiri bottle. So I went back to the special needs feeder on regular bottle and she finished it. After some silliness and a big yawn we tried for another nap.
10:50am - Julia and I lay down on the sofa. After some fussing on her part we both doze.
11:30am - I transfer her to the crib and finally a nap
1pm - Lunch & Home Depot
2pm - grill pattypan squash and wait for Tara to come home.

Nothing really eventful but Julia won't sleep. Even now at 8pm with a 2 hour nap at lunch she doesn't want to sleep.

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Farewell, Summer Vacation, Farewell!

I already wrote about summer break not being the same. Actually, no school breaks or holidays will be the same again or at least not for many years! Obviously they will be different because we have Julia and they will be wonderful, too.

However, in the selfish vein of losing Tara time, I write it won't be the same.

NO sleeping late... sleeping at all is a treat!
NO book at the pool... well, reading a book these days is a lofty goal. A magazine is more my speed for the attention span and energy I have.
Running errands freely and meeting friends for lunch spontaneously - NOPE! Well, you know I'm not really spontaneous, but still won't be happening so much.

I always connect my birthday with summer time - I was always out of school.
Not anymore. Since I started working at a high school or middle school, I'm usually back to work the week before my birthday.

A reason to move to an elementary school. : )

Family comforts

I hesitate writing this but it has been gnawing at me and I have to get it out.

I've had a lot of trouble of the past few years defining the big concepts...love, values, me, and most recently family. Its well known that I am an orphan insomuch as both of my parents are dead and I have no siblings. What I do have for blood relations is limited and no I can say, strained.

I am struggling very hard with my Mom's side of the family. The family closest to me genealogically is I feel the most distant. I am struggling with how I feel about them. I am struggling about what it means to be struggling about how I feel about them. It is obvious to any observer, I think, that they care deeply for me but I am having so much trouble returning that devotion. When I am with them (in person or on the phone) all I can do is see their faults, the narcissism, the pettiness, the self-serving martyrdom and the competitiveness. This all came to a head on our most recent trip to visit. It was one of the most stressful, unpleasant visits I can remember. I found myself having to protect Tara, I felt party to a conspiracy when I agreed with Tara or when I opted to do something for Julia instead of the rest of the family...if I wanted to make sure Julia had quiet time or had a feeding at a certain time I was being to regimented and that as being a backhanded stab at Tara's need for order because other family "are flexible" and don't have to be anywhere at a certain time. Or I was being compared both directly and implied to other family members.

Compare this with a trip to see Tara's family who were welcoming me to me as the in-law, old photos were brought out, stories were told, we ate together with no expectations, no pressure to be anybody other than us. We ate and we caught up and hung out and we laughed. There were no geography lessons, there were no quizzes. There was an unspoken understanding that Julia rules the roost, if Tara needed to feed her, Tara is given that space and time. If Julia needed a nap we found a way (as often as possible) to make that happen. The vibe for most of the trip was unforced. I don't think Tara was put in a position where she felt I was being unduly pressured or snide comments about the way I handle myself.

I have a theory that if you disregard individual personality that the difference between the two families is socio-economic and socio-geographic (if that's a word). On one hand you have a family of consistent and over achievers, a black family which is 4 generations out of slavery and 3 generations out of college and most of those college graduates completed some sort of graduate level degree. It appears to me that there is so much middle class frustration and disappointment. No matter what you achieve its not enough, the grass is always greener, if I don't keep pushing I will let someone down. Then the family moved from South to North which added removed them further from the ebb and flow of nature and spirit to the start and stop agitation of urban life...you have to keep moving till the lights go out and in the city the lights don't go out. Where as the part of Tara's family we visited still lives on the land they were raised or within a couple of hundred miles. They are 3 generations from slavery but far fewer college and professional degrees. They accept, sometimes reluctantly, the ebb and flow of available work and and life's changes without turning it into a big drama.

How strange that I came away from a weekend with the in-laws less stressed than a weekend with my relatives.

I accept that this is a simplified and even romanticized view of the family dynamics and I accept that this was the first time I visited Tara's family farm but I think I have to stick with what I've been saying for awhile...Poor Tara, I got the better end of this deal.

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Now playing: Gov't Mule - Thorazine Shuffle
via FoxyTunes

7 months and kicking!

Today I am 7 months old.
We're celebrating my monthiversary by hitting the road.
ROAD TRIP!

Going to visit the fam in NC - show off my gams, display some moxie.
I don't know why I am using "old" terminology.
The 'rents have been watching some old movies or stuff - blame it on them!

I'm having fun with my fancy feet! I like kicking my legs and feet, especially against something with texture like those great pillows on the couch. I love those colors, too.

It is fun to be a baby. : )

Model to be

front view of lounging Julia at pool
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

As many of you know. I decided to enter Julia in the Ecotot contest. She came in 2nd but I think some of this is in her future.

I'm thinking "World's Most Beautiful Engineer". You should see her focus on gadgets and things with small parts, like that hat she's wearing. She will study it for 20min at a time.

Here she is in an candid pool photo.

Summer Fun

Julia as Amelia Earhart before we go to the pool
Originally uploaded by bmitd67

As Tara and I become more mindful parents we continue to discover ways to keep Julia's best interests at the forefront of our life.

• We feed her the best food available - breast milk.
• We protect her nap time.
• We try to avoid over stimulation.
• Now that summer is here and pool time we have to protect her fragile skin from the sun. To and from the the YMCA Julia is dressed like a prizefighter.

TENNIS - I love this sport!

I am definitely getting my fill of watching tennis this summer with both French Open & Wimbledon! I told Jai that I looked forward to week 2 of Wimbledon as there is less tennis. : )

Wimbledon is my favorite. It is cool to watch the coverage and see the grounds and remember walking around the place last year. I love it when Julia wears her Wimbledon sun hat. I tell her sometimes "last year WE were there" since I was 4 months pregnant in late-June.

In a way I’m bummed that we won’t see a Federer-Nadal final again. I am excited the Williams sisters made it a repeat final!

Favorites:
1. Wii commercials showcasing the non-famous players beating the famous sports people, especially the images of the tennis players

2. US Open series commercials:

a. Federer: “Rog”
b. Venus’ dog Henry doesn’t really like tennis.
c. Serena’s dolls (look like Williams sisters!) fighting – “victory is mine!”
d. Andy Roddick’s one not as funny as I expected; I really enjoy his post-match press conferences!

In the his press conference yesterday about playing Andy Murray in the semi-final, A.Rod said 2 funny things:

1) holding up his hand he says he can count how many supporters he'll have in the crowd
2) when he hears the cheers "come on, Andy" he's going to pretend and tell himself that they mean him ... he's funny! : )

3. outfits:

a. loved Maria S’s dress, too bad she lost so early
b. hated Petrova’s dress, glad she lost so I didn’t have to see it again
c. Safina’s top is too small – “not appropriate for Centre Court” a commentator said; I agree!
d. I like Serena’s dress, similar to Maria’s

4. 38 year old player (Dante Grumm I think are her last names correction: Kimiko Date Krumm) – same age as me! Playing in Wimbledon after 13 years hiatus (think she got married and had some kids). She played Caroline W. who wasn’t even born yet when Dante Grumm played in her first Wimbledon! CRAZY!

5. Quote on Serena’s T-shirt one day this week: “Strong is the new Beautiful.” LOVE it!

I really like the Wimbledon towels this year, too!

I love tennis so much. : )

New Signficance of Dates

July 19 is the date of Julia's baptism. It is also the 5 year anniversary of Rich's death (Tara's stepfather). I forgot about it until Bonnie mentioned it a few weeks ago.

June 18, 2005 is our wedding date. It also was the 10 year anniversary of aunt Judy's death (Bonnie's sister). It seems positive and hopeful to celebrate a commitment and re-frame the meaning of that date. I don't know if my cousins feel that way about our wedding, but they attended the ceremony and reception.

I'm excited about Julia's baptism, have been for weeks.

Then we met with Judi, the pastor at my church, on Monday, and I got even more excited. We discussed the meaning and significance and why it is important for Julia to be baptized. It was really interesting talking with her and listening to Jai's reflections, too, on what it all means.
One of the major considerations for me is the community aspect, the witness and support of the congregation. We cannot raise Julia alone. We realized that in February in particular when members brought us food as we worked to get Julia to gain weight. Edgehill UMC is one part of our village.

I love water, don't know why, probably because it makes you clean. : )
I like the sound water makes - running in the shower/tub, rain on the roof, splashing in the pool.
I really enjoy when people get baptized.

Judi described various methods of the baptismal water:
Sprinkling
Pouring
Immersion

Judi recommended we make a baptism book in order to have a visual reminder of this event. We can look at the book and photos and talk about what happened on that day. We also will have her baptism candle which we'll light every year on July 19. I'm excited about that too!

Then over the next day or so, I spoke with Mike, one of her godfathers, about some concerns Chad, the other godfather, might have about being appropriate given his feelings about religion. Susie is Julia's godmother. After asking Chad & Mike & Susie to be Julia's godparents, I didn't give it much more thought. Susie is Julia's aunt; Mike & Chad are her uncles. They are our very good friends, Mike was one of Jai's attendants in our wedding. They are important to us and therefore to Julia and we value them as supportive people in her life. They are perfect candidates for the role. However, I am grateful for these opportunities to reflect and consider what it all means.

Julia reminds us daily of that attention to details. The joy of discovery, it's all new to her.
We adults seem to forget along the way, we get busy, and "don't stop & smell the flowers."
Everything is new to Julia so we know that is part of it, but it is so genuine. Recently she was studying her sun hat, turning it one way, then the other, then inside and outside. Back & forth, over & over again. Cute to watch. Julia was so fascinated with it.

I cannot believe I am referencing the TV show "Army Wives" which sometimes I'm surprised I watch. However, I like it. Anyway, in a recent episode, a couple with a young baby close to Julia's age is preparing to baptize their daughter and they are trying to find the right place. The wife character is similar to Jai in terms of not being someone who regularly attends church; the husband character does. The conversation they have with the pastor of the congregation where they ultimately decide to have the dedication reminds me of our conversation with Judi as well as some of our feelings about the experience. Community is a huge part of it.

My dad, step-mother, brother and sisters who live in North Carolina will be here. Bonnie & Buddy will be here. Hopefully my brother, Joel, and nephew, LJ, will be here. Some of my childhood friends will be present. It is a celebration of this new life and a public commitment from us all.

I cannot wait! : )

Cocktails & Nails and Sushi

Recently "Cocktails & Nails" has become a regular monthly date with my friend, Anne Marie again. We used to get together once a month for a facial or pedicure, then dinner of sushi at the now closed Taste of Tokyo in Hillsboro Village. We got together before we got married and before we had children. We continued our tradition until last summer when Sam was born.

Then we resurrected it in April once Julia was older and Tara felt stronger. : ) Sadly our favorite haunt, TOT, closed in January. We didn't know! We missed the chance to say thanks and good-bye to Lucy and Peter and the other TOT employees we had seen monthly for YEARS.

We also had to find a new place for food and pampering; it had to be close enough to fit in our new world of parenting ... we only have so much time, especially me who has to get home to feed Julia OR pump. We discovered that Magnolia Spa in East Nashville has "Cocktails & Nails" on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5-7pm; if you bring a friend you get a 10% discount off. You also can get a glass of wine to drink while your feet soak. Usually we don't get an alcoholic beverage though it depends on the day, sometimes it seems attractive! : ) However, Anne Marie isn't a fan of red wine which is usually what they have; I don't because I'm not a big fan of wine and I'm breastfeeding. Battered & Fried is a restaurant up the street and they have sushi. We meet after our husbands get home from work, get our feet done and then walk across the street and have GREAT sushi. Our favorite is The Firefly. YUM!

We went last night; this month I think we're going to a consignment sale together. I suspect our next date for Cocktails & Nails and Sushi will be late August since I go back to work soon.

I'll attach a photo of our feet and our sushi - I got blue on my toes in honor of Independence Day!

Looking forward to more pampering and sushi soon!